I AM NOT OVERREACTING

Stress gnawed at me. This marriage… to Alexander?  The thought felt like a physical blow.  My heart ached for Ryan, the only man who truly understood me, the only man I loved.  That night, the stolen moments of texting him felt like heaven.  "Ryan, I miss you," I typed, the words spilling out like a desperate confession. Indeed, I was desperate for him. His reply, "I miss you too, my baby girl," was balm to my raw soul.

But my longing went deeper.  “I want you, Ryan," I wrote, the words barely scratching the surface of my need. I needed him more than words could describe.

“I want you so much”, I added. The urgency in my voice, even through the text, was evident.

“Baby girl”, he said, looking sad. “I do want you too, but I have a test tomorrow, and I'm studying…”

It was apparent that he wanted me too, but the test was in the way…it was always the test.  His future, his ambitions, seemed to always come first.

I understood that he placed a high level of importance on his career, but I couldn't bear it this time. I initiated a video call, making sure that he felt desparate for me.

"Please, Ryan," I begged, the words laced with shamelessness, with need.  "I want to be with you tonight."  His frustration, his arousal, were both evident.  

“Babe”, he started, but I knew that he couldn't resist. I saw it in his eyes that he wanted me even more than I wanted him.

“I will book a suite for us right now,” he said, his voice surrendering to the lust he had for me. 

He sent me the location within ten minutes, and I hurried over to the hotel in less than forty minutes.

When I saw him, my skin got hotter than ever, it burned with so much passion. Neither of us spoke to each other until we got to our suite. 

Once we got into our hotel suite, the passion exploded.  Ryan made love to me like he understood the depths of my yearning, the desperation I felt.  

Later, cuddled in his arms, his words were a soothing balm, "I love you so much, baby girl. You look so damn beautiful every single time."

"Even when we make love?" I asked, a playful grin hiding the sadness that lurked beneath.

“Every single moment of my life, I love you. I love you when we are fighting, I love you when we are making love. I love you when we go out on dates. I love you when we take strolls. I love all of you, and I love only you. You are the best present life has ever offered to me.”

His response was a mixture of pure love and lust,  a reassurance that made my heart ache even more.  The looming marriage to Alexander felt like a guillotine hanging over our happiness.

We cuddled in each other's arms, losing track of time until we fell asleep.

The next morning, I and Ryan both had to go our separate ways earlier than we normally would. He had to prepare for his exam, and I had no intention of stopping him from doing so.

When I got back home, my mother’s presence was a stark reminder of the impending doom. She was at the sitting room drinking a cup of coffee. 

"Good morning mum," I greeted, rolling my eyes. If given a choice I would not have greeted her. However, not greeting was considered a great insult by my parents.

"Morning Olivia. Where were you?" she asked.

"I'm twenty-three mum. Where I was isn't any of your business," I replied, curtly.

"I hope you weren't with your doctor boyfriend," Mrs. Adams said.

"Again mum, it's none of your business”, I replied aggressively.

"You have office work to do today”, she stated. I wanted to roll my eyes at her statement. I knew that when she wanted to say something important to me, she usually started with stating the obvious.

"I know mum. I will bath, have my breakfast and begin my work for the day," I replied, already tired of her attempts to pry into my life.

"Come here and have a seat. I will like to speak to you a bit”, she said. This was the part I knew that I was going to dread.

I reluctantly obeyed, sitting beside her.

"Olivia, I know marrying Alexander is a tough thing for you to do," she said.

"Tough is an understatement mum. I'm being forced and bullied into marrying a proud and narcissistic man who also feels like a stranger. He didn't even have the courtesy to come to see me, he just sent his PA to just order me to follow her to get a wedding dress," I said.

"Your dad told me about it. We both think you are overreacting and he is quite unhappy with you," she replied.

"I am not overreacting! I don't care if dad is happy or not. I am not happy as well. Alexander doesn't respect me and I will not respect him”, I said, trying not to raise my voice, but failing woefully at my attempt.

"I don't think you know how serious marrying him is," she said, keeping calm, but with a serious tone.

"You and dad sold me out for money and power!" I said, raising my voice.

"Don't be ridiculous Olivia. We are as powerful as the Brewers. We only need to get stronger. If we unite as a family, we would definitely get more powerful”, she said.

"There is no difference between what I said and what you just said mum," I replied stubbornly.

"Listen to me Olivia. Do not think you have a choice here because you don't. You think I and your dad married out of love? Who takes love as a priority in the 21st century? Olivia wake up, don't be dumb. Love can fade away but power and fame will stand strong if you guard it well. I know for sure that you and Alexander have a lot in common–”

"I own a legitimate company, I'm not a mafia boss engaged in illicit activities," I corrected my mother. While it was true that Alexander was the CEO of a thriving oil conglomerate, he was also a "Vory v Zakone" - a high-ranking mafia boss who had mastered the art of blending organized crime with corporate savvy, amassing billions of dollars in wealth and wielding significant influence. 

“Do not interrupt me again, Olivia”, my mum snapped. I sat there, staring into her eyes. I was not afraid of her. She knew that I had stated the obvious truth, but did not care about that. 

I recalled a Christmas from a few years back when I was able to attend. My mother had wanted a diamond necklace worth over a billion, but when my dad delayed payment, she lashed out, saying, "If only I had married someone better, a mafia boss with more prestige, I would have gotten the diamond necklace I wanted right now." The scene forever etched itself in my memory. There was nothing on earth my mother loved more than money – a fact that I couldn't help but dislike about her.

“You and Alexander have a lot in common”, she continued, her brown eyes piercing into mine, “more than even I and your dad did when we were younger, you both studied business and you're both successful. Do you even know how wealthy and powerful both of you can get?”

We sat quiet for about two minutes, then she said, “Don't even bother arguing with me about this matter. If you don't get married to Alexander, you can forget about being an Adams. You will no longer be our child. That is your father's decision and it is final.”