Chapter 7: I Want to Remember

James hadn't set foot in the Healer Rooms again. He'd also not been following Elizabeth. Bass had been right, he was the Alpha, and those duties had to come first.

So he'd stayed away, and trusted Elizabeth could heal Firian.

And he told himself that he simply had to ignore the attraction he felt to her, however impossible it might seem. However painful it would be. He had a fiancé, he had a future and a duty to his pack.

James shook his head, even if he had to keep himself away from Elizabeth, he still wanted to help her somehow. This was an insane task set to her, on only her third day at the Pack, and so far, she'd done admirably.

So James called for Kenneth, and gave him a list of instructions.

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After Bass's treatment of her the day before, Elizabeth hadn't left Firian's side. She'd begun sleeping in one of the other patient's rooms in the Healer Rooms, just so she could be close by should anything happen.

She found one of the little pack boys, a wolf barely able to shift properly, to gather roots and herbs for her, if she'd run out of anything.

And she stayed by Firian's side.

And by some miracle, he was getting better.

She changed his bandages every hour, attended to every single thing she could think of, and checked in on him between every patient she saw. He still hadn't woken up, but that was a good thing. As long as he was asleep, it meant his body was healing.

Elizabeth had just finished checking in on him, when another patient walked through the door.

"Hey there," Elizabeth greeted. "How can I help you?"

"Actually." The man waved his arms wide, smiling. "It is I that can help you. I'm Kenneth, by the way."

Elizabeth smiled for the first time since she'd been woken by the bang on her door.

"You brought Firian to me, the night he was attacked," Elizabeth remembered.

"I did," Kenneth sobered a little, "I was on guard with him that night, I should have thought to bring him to you sooner. I will never make that mistake again."

Elizabeth pursed her lips, "I think all of us would do things a little different next time," she assured him. "What's all that?" She pointed to the many boxes Kenneth had behind him.

"A present," Kenneth said again, smiling. "From your Alpha."

"May I?" Elizabeth gestured to the boxes.

"I very much encourage it," Kenneth said, stepping aside to allow her to see them.

Elizabeth opened the first box, and gasped. She moved to the second and third boxes and could barely believe her eyes.

Every single thing she had asked for, and even mentioned in passing she might need in the clinic, James had gotten for her.

"You Alpha sends his regards," Kenneth told her, softly. "And he hopes that these will help you with your duty and make carrying out your tasks easier."

Kenneth started to leave, but Elizabeth stopped him.

"Tell him," Elizabeth began, then cleared her throat to sort through the emotion. No words would be able to express how grateful she was. "Tell him I said thank you."

Kenneth dipped his head slightly and left.

Elizabeth couldn't believe it. Everything she and James had catalogued that she might need together, back when she still hadn't known who he truly was, was here in these boxes. Everything to set up a perfect and smooth running of a clinic. From medicines, to gauzes to herbs and equipment.

Elizabeth turned quickly to Firian, looking to check in on him before her next patient arrived.

"We're going to get you through this," Elizabeth promised him. "Your Alpha has seen to that."

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When the evening came, Firian was stable enough that Elizabeth thought she'd make a quick run to her home. She would shower, have supper, and then head back to check in on him.

He hadn't made a miraculous recovery – that would have worried her more. Instead, his healing was slow and difficult. But it meant his body was healing properly.

Elizabeth had just finished her supper and was preparing to go back, when Bass barged in through her front door again. Elizabeth glared, that door had been locked this time.

"How dare you!" Bass screamed at her, completely taking her off guard. "You leave a sick wolf to come and sleep in your own comfortable bed!"

"I was gone fifteen minutes," Elizabeth answered. "He'd recovered enough that I could leave him."

"Well he's dead," Bass spat at her. "That wolf died and it was because of your incompetence!" Bass screamed at her.

The news brought her up short. How was that possible? Short of a knife across his throat, Firian should have recovered completely. He was nowhere near sick enough that he could have relapsed. Elizabeth should have been able to stay away from him for a full night and he should have been fine.

Something was very wrong.

Bass still raged on about her negligence, completely oblivious to her processing.

This time, Elizabeth would not hold her tongue, because even if she'd had everything set up, there was nothing she could do.

"Alpha wounds are meant to kill," Elizabeth bit back a snarl, but her voice held no kindness in it. "If he had been brought to me immediately, I might have been able to save him. Might. Even with the best and immediate medical care under the most skilled of healers, Alpha wounds still kill. Because that's the power of an Alpha. That is the most basic laws of Pack. Alpha word is Law. Alpha power is unchallenged. As the Beta," Elizabeth spat the title like a curse. "You should know that."

"You b*tch," Bass snarled at her, his fingers turned to claws, his face starts to shift, and he raises a claw. "I should kill you, you worthless healer."

Elizabeth starts to shift too, ready to defend herself.

Bass strikes, but the blow never lands.

James caught Bass's claw in his hand, his eyes glowing.

"Leave," James speaks, his voice loud, demanding. And Elizabeth falls into a bow. Bass is kept upright only because James is holding him. "And go and honor your cousin's body."

An Alpha's Edict. Elizabeth had never felt the tremor of it before. Bass starts to walk almost immediately, small steps, since he's still in James' grasp.

James lets go, and Bass immediately starts to walk away.

"Rise," James speaks to her, and still an edict, her body obeys almost without her thought.

"I apologize for my Beta," James tells her softer. "Firian was his cousin, they were playmates since they were five, and his grief right now is almost beyond him. But his behavior just now was absolutely unacceptable. I will speak to him about it, that isn't how we treat Healers in this pack."

"I should have healed the wolf," Elizabeth began, "I should have worked quicker, used stronger herbs. I don't understand what happened, he was getting better."

"Enough," James told her, though his voice was softer. His voice was his own, without the Alpha in it anymore. "You did more than anyone else would have been able to. I've only ever known of one wolf to recover from an Alpha's wounds like that. And even that, only because he himself had become an Alpha. This was a terrible misfortune, and someone is responsible, but it isn't you."

Elizabeth couldn't hold her tears any longer, and broke down sobbing. The weight and exhaustion of everything bearing down on her. James quickly gathered her in his arms.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed. "I tried everything in creation to save him. I tried every herb I knew. I really thought he was getting better, I really thought he would survive. I would never have left his side otherwise."

"Shhh," James soothed her, rubbing her back. "The Alpha is meant to be strong enough to protect his pack. His claws are supposed to be able to kill ten wolves at a time. One wolf, against that power, is just unbearable. Those wounds are not meant to heal. Otherwise, how would we protect our packs then? You were fighting fate itself, and it's a miracle you held out so long at all."

"I thought," Elizabeth sniffed into his shoulder. "I thought because he was surviving so long, because he was strong, I thought I'd be able to save him. You sent me so many things," Elizabeth sobbed. "I am so sorry for not being able to save him."

James tilted her face to his, staring into her eyes, she was captivated by his gaze.

"You did more than anyone else could have, for him," James murmured. "You are truly a gift to us."

Elizabeth didn't know what else to say, or how to even answer that.

James didn't wait for an answer, he brought his face closer to hers, and kissed her.