"I have to protect you even if it kills me. I should have let you go when you wanted us to have a break that night. I acted selfishly, holding onto you. And I know you said I shouldn't, but it is all I can say. I am sorry, Alex. I love you enough to want the best for you even if it tears me apart. You are young. You are promising. And you have incredible potential. I would hate to see all that go to waste because I just couldn't do the right thing. I want to be able to face Daisy without any weak or vulnerable points she can leverage on. I know she won't hurt Luna so we are equal on that end. I have to let you go. It kills me to. But it is what I have to do. It is the only way to protect you. I hope you can look back one day and understand my point of view and forgive me. I love you, Alex and I know you love me too but I am old enough to know that love is not enough." Zane exhales after his long monologue. He exhales like he is letting out all the air in his lungs to make room for me.
I throw up in the car. The driver, who is thankfully a woman turns around, sees me retching miserably and she stops the car. I am a mess. There are tears in my eyes, down my face, snot in my nose, and the thought of what just happened made my empty stomach turn over and suddenly I am leaning to the side, retching bile water and nothing else. My stomach heaves and it hurts so bad, I think I might die. "Hello dear, are you good back there?" The woman asks. She sounds motherly. She is middle aged and dressed fashionably. Probably younger than my mother. She has light makeup on and her mood has been upbeat since the beginning of the ride."No." I whisper weakly. I don't know why I say it. I don't know why I admit it to this stranger but the confirmation slips out of me. I am not okay. I feel like shit. I don't know what to do. Everything hurts. I feel the heartache in my belly. In my knees. In my head. Everywhere. "What is wrong? Should I take you to the hospital? The college one is les
I stare at her blankly. Of course she comes to that conclusion. First she picks me up from that neighborhood with its middle class family residential area air, and I start crying in her car, throwing up and looking like shit, talking about being heartbroken by a man that tells me I am young and would find someone else. Her maternal instincts kick in and she is jumping to conclusions. "Sorry ma'am, please can we start the ride? I have to get to my exam hall in twenty minutes." I say, still avoiding her eyes. When she simply turns around and starts the car without another word, I exhale in relief. The ride continues in awkward silence. I do my best to clean up the throw up on her seats, and I look at the app for tipping options. I open my messenger and Maggie has left me a ton of messages. My eyes blur at the sight of them, I shake my head to discourage the tears. The car stops and I look up, we are right in front of the department building. I glance at my phone, I have about fifteen
Zane POV:It is Friday night when Daisy messages me that she is bringing Luna over for her weekend stay at my place. I almost ask her not to, I want to lie to her that I wasn't around. I didn't want to see her yet. I was still wallowing in my misery, in the past three days since Alex left here with a piece of my heart, I have drank more than I have ever drunk all my life. Things went up a notch of intensity when I realised I could order the booze alongside the pizza. It just went downhill from there and I have been alternating between waking up, hurting, drinking to go back to sleep and then waking up again, the circle is wretched, I feel like a teenager going through his first heartbreak. I have a full face of beard when I drag myself to the bathroom to clean up. This is the cursed aspect of being an adult. A parent. Your heart could be shredding to pieces, your life could feel like a nightmare, everything could be hurting, and you have to push all that aside and plaster a smile on
"Alex and I are no longer together." I say. We are in her car. It is quiet. I know Luna would probably rush out to come ask me why I didn't leave her anything in a few minutes so I want to salvage the short time before she interrupts us to have this conversation with Daisy.I know I vowed never to do this again with Daisy. To never put myself in this position where I have to reason with her and she holds all the power. But it is fair to give her this chance. One last chance. She turns to look at me. I see her face and look in her eyes for the first time in a long while and I notice that she looks tired. I don't know much about Daisy's life apart from me but I know her job as a pediatrician can be exhausting. Coupled with caring for a child for five days a week, it must be tough. I don't know if she is dating. I realise I know nothing about her life. I don't know her. Then I remember Shane. I remember all he said. And I have to swallow the anger rising within me. "What does that have
Alex's POV::As I make my way through the bustling campus, thoughts of giving up plague my mind. The overwhelming desire to simply collapse on the sidewalk and regress to a tantrum-throwing five year old consumes me. But then, in the midst of my turmoil, I spot the elusive building I have been searching for all morning.In my haste to arrive early for my first college class, I had overlooked it just ten minutes ago. But now, as I relinquish my hopes of punctuality, I am able to navigate the school map with a newfound clarity and composure. And there it stands before me.The creative writing department building, four stories tall and unassuming, with its stark white and black facade. A path that many great writers have traveled, and one that I aspire to tread myself.I glance down at my phone to check the time, and in a desperate attempt to make it to class on time, I practically sprint towards the entrance. I am incredibly late.This is the moment I have been anxiously awaiting - my f
Zane's POV::"Uhh, shit. Sorry. Sorry," the girl says under her breath as she makes her way down the aisle, looking for a free seat.I don't know what it is about her that arrests my attention; she is not the first student to walk in late today, and frankly, I don't really care. It is the first class of college for most of these kids, so they get lost around campus.But something about this girl and her wet hair sticking to her sweetly beautiful oval face strikes me differently. The closer she gets, the more I am able to appreciate her figure. She is curvy with slim, shapely legs encased in her jeans. An unchecked fantasy of having those legs wrapped around my waist zips through my mind, and I shake my head, more worried about my slipping self-control than aroused."There is a free seat here," I call to her, keeping my tone slightly annoyed so as to mask the confusing riot of emotions running through me as she walks closer."Thank you, Sir," she says, holding my eyes for what feels l
I have to remind myself that he is my professor who is currently very pissed off at me, judging by how dark his hazel eyes have gotten, narrowed at me."What do you think?" He says, leaning further down but somehow managing to keep our bodies an air apart. My body tingles with senseless anticipation."Uhh..." Fuck, I can't say that anymore. It is what started all these in the first place. I bite down on my lower lip. His eyes burn down on the spot I bite and my body ignites with delicious lust because of the unmistakable heat in those dark brown depths of his eyes."Very fucking brave. Interrupting my class and then mouthing off at me like that in front of the class. Quite the nerve." Zane's voice is like liquid fire running down my spine. It doesn't help that he is not moving away. We are standing too close. Is this okay?"Well, you made the whole class laugh at me. I am probably going to be the girl Professor Orion snapped at on the first day of college forever." My cheeks burn at t