MordechaiโItโs pretty fuckinโ stupid how much my thighs hurt,โ Ellie complained. She wiggled around on the bed, grabbing her leg and pulling it up to stretch. โDo you have to be so big?โ โNo, I can try and little up for you if you want. No problem.โ She stuck her tongue out at me, then winced when she switched legs. I told her we could try out other positions. No skin off my nose. Sheโd insisted she liked it on top of me, making it pointless to try other things. I did not agree. โMaybe we shouldnโt have done it three times in a day,โ I commented, adding a line to the sketch I had in front of me. Ellie stopped to glower at me like Iโd suggested we eat a live kitten. โYou take that back right now. I may be in absolute agony, but I have no regrets. Every part of me hurts, but thatโs just proof I got rocked and I can live with it.โ โI feel bad. Whereโs the proof I got rocked too?โ She smirked. โYou have a post got-some glow about you. I mean, I assume. You look happier than usual,
EllieI hoped to god standing my ground and not looking weak did it for him. I didnโt feel very strong, no matter what I said. My bones itched for me to grab that wine glass and down the whole thing in one go, but I resisted. I needed my wits about me for this, and I knew it would only taste like failure. I heard my father in my head, telling me to drink. I saw him pouring me wine with dinner when the conversation would get to be a little too much for him. I saw the look in his eyes when he figured out Iโd started drinking without him, and how he pretended not to notice how often I smelled like alcohol. โAre you planning on telling your father we met today?โ Urie asked me. He set his glass of wine down and I tried not to stare at it. โShould I?โ I asked. โThatโs up to you. Iโm sure you know our relationship is a little contentious at best. He might be angry to find out that we shared a meal together.โ Ah. I needed to turn up the dad hate. โI think he would be very, very upset. Whi
MordechaiIt felt like sitting at the bottom of a mountain and waiting for the lava to come cover me. I could see the blazing red pouring down the side, inching closer and closer to me with every passing moment. It would come burn me any moment, but I didnโt get up. I didnโt run. Maybe I should have. Where would I go if I ran? I couldnโt picture a place that would appeal to me. It all looked dull in my head, as it always did. Nothing had that spark that people got. That little bump in their heartbeat at the idea of escaping somewhere better. Nothing could compare to this apartment, because I woke up with Ellie beside me in the mornings. Iโd known this whole time it wouldnโt last. But you couldnโt survive lava when it found you at the bottom of the mountain. I couldnโt sit on the couch and wait for Ellie to come back. It would have sent me running for that lava just to get it over with. Instead, I kept myself busy with making the bed, cleaning the counters, and making everything neat
EllieI kept my eyes on the driver the whole time, half thinking the guy would try to kill me. Iโd seen him before though. One of my dadโs guys, so he probably didnโt have plans to swerve into a tree and take us both out. I almost wanted him to. At least I could rest that way. The drive felt longer than normal, though I knew we went down the same path as Mordechai brought me a few times before. I stared at the empty seat next to me, wishing so badly he sat there. I pictured him taking my hand so I would know everything would be fine. A day would come where things didnโt hurt like this. It might have been some wishful thinking. Gravel crunched under the tires, alerting me that my time had run out. I should have texted Mordechai so he could say something to me that would relax my heart. I knew those words didnโt really exist though. I needed to make myself calm down. My dad just wanted to see me. Trying to look at his face might have been though. Trying to deal with the fact that I ha
MordechaiI thought if I sat there long enough, surely my insides would begin to implode. I would get a kind, merciful death that would free me. But every time I thought I would finally die, I would open my eyes again and see the desk, the guards, the way I had no choices. I could live if I wanted. Jonathan would have chosen that. Kill the girl and back to business as usual. I had decided long ago that I wouldnโt let anything happen to her. If this man truly understood that, he would end my life. โI think the wisest thing we can do is get her here,โ Jonathan said to me. โand handle everything somewhere safe.โ โI can go get her,โ I said automatically. If I could only get out of the room, then I could find Ellie and warn her. Better yet, I could grab her and run. How far would we have gotten? I would put her safety above all else, but if we could be together at the end of thisโฆ I needed that. I needed her. I didnโt know how to go on with my life without her. How would I fade back to n
EllieI held the phone in my hand, standing in the darkness of my bathroom as if that silence would somehow lead me to an answer. I found none. I had my father waiting for me and no idea what he would do. The fact that he let me leave to pee almost felt like a shock. He would start to wonder where I was soon enough. It felt like I stood at the edge of a cliff as a pack of wolves advanced on me. Either I could let them tear me to pieces, or I could leap to the rocks below. I lost either way, but at least with the rocks, it felt like my choice. But I didnโt want to fucking die. I didnโt want to lose. I wanted my happy ending with Mordechai, and I wanted it not to feel like too much to ask for. When I stepped out, three of my dadโs men stood there waiting for me. Alex waited front and center, staring at me like he thought I would run. That alone made me want to do it. Surely something better could have been waiting for me outside of this house. โElle,โ he said, gesturing back the way
MordechaiEllie wouldnโt stop picking at her nails. She sat on the edge of her tub, bloodstained and shaking like she had been for over an hour. Her mother desperately tried to get that blood out of her hair. Our clothes had been taken and replaced, and I hadnโt asked what would be done with them. The house had been empty when we returned to the Locke estate. Only Alex, Locke, Ellie and I walked through the doors, and Mrs. Locke waited for us in Ellieโs room. โI told you I would make it right,โ Locke said to his daughter, watching her distant eyes. โEverything is going to be okay. Itโs always okay for us.โ I couldnโt stop thinking about all Iโd seen. Iโd been in the middle of some brawls in my time, but not an outright slaughter. It had only been the man named Alex. Locke had walked backwards, pushing through the door to hide in the hallway while his man did everything. I didnโt even have time to fire off a shot before I pulled Ellie to the floor. Alex kicked Jonathan under the chin
EllieIt hadnโt been much of a goodbye. We couldnโt be seen by anyone but my mother and father, who drove us to a private plane hangar. We didnโt meet the pilot, we didnโt have anyone to help us. We were given a ton of cash to get us from the airport to the new house, the dog, a bag each, and we were told everything would be waiting for us at the house. I had a map, notes, and not much else. My mother hugged me for ten minutes, not saying a word. She promised to write and maybe come visit some time. That could take years and we all knew it. I could be a mother. I could be a much older woman. I could never see them again. โThank you,โ I had said to my father in those final moments. He looked at me, this man, this monster, and he put his hand against my cheek. โI donโt want you to think Iโm evil, Ellie. I love you and your mother more than anything else in this world. Even myself.โ My eyes burned, โI believe you,โ Iโd said, honest in that moment. I could change my mind later. In a d
MordechaiโItโs fucking c-c-c-cold! No one said it would be this cold!โ I hissed, teeth chattering as I wrapped Ellie in another sweater. โWhy are we outside? We should do this inside. We have fire there. We have warmth.โ Ellie rolled her eyes, perfectly happy to sit on our porch with blankets and sweaters and several pairs of socks. โWe just have to do the first present, then we can go in. Come on, sunset is pretty.โ I sat down in my chair and tried to warm myself up. The wind against the ocean didnโt help, as it blew misty air against us. When it did, Ellie would close her eyes and inhale that smell of the sea. Of the stone on the mountains and the moss that grew on it. It was very, very beautiful, but cold on a Christmas Eve night. โYou have to go first,โ I said, picking up the present I had under the small tree Ellie had put on the porch. I needed two hands to lift it up. Weโd saved the good stuff for the morning.โDandelion should go first,โ Ellie insisted, plucking a squeak t
EllieIt hadnโt been much of a goodbye. We couldnโt be seen by anyone but my mother and father, who drove us to a private plane hangar. We didnโt meet the pilot, we didnโt have anyone to help us. We were given a ton of cash to get us from the airport to the new house, the dog, a bag each, and we were told everything would be waiting for us at the house. I had a map, notes, and not much else. My mother hugged me for ten minutes, not saying a word. She promised to write and maybe come visit some time. That could take years and we all knew it. I could be a mother. I could be a much older woman. I could never see them again. โThank you,โ I had said to my father in those final moments. He looked at me, this man, this monster, and he put his hand against my cheek. โI donโt want you to think Iโm evil, Ellie. I love you and your mother more than anything else in this world. Even myself.โ My eyes burned, โI believe you,โ Iโd said, honest in that moment. I could change my mind later. In a d
MordechaiEllie wouldnโt stop picking at her nails. She sat on the edge of her tub, bloodstained and shaking like she had been for over an hour. Her mother desperately tried to get that blood out of her hair. Our clothes had been taken and replaced, and I hadnโt asked what would be done with them. The house had been empty when we returned to the Locke estate. Only Alex, Locke, Ellie and I walked through the doors, and Mrs. Locke waited for us in Ellieโs room. โI told you I would make it right,โ Locke said to his daughter, watching her distant eyes. โEverything is going to be okay. Itโs always okay for us.โ I couldnโt stop thinking about all Iโd seen. Iโd been in the middle of some brawls in my time, but not an outright slaughter. It had only been the man named Alex. Locke had walked backwards, pushing through the door to hide in the hallway while his man did everything. I didnโt even have time to fire off a shot before I pulled Ellie to the floor. Alex kicked Jonathan under the chin
EllieI held the phone in my hand, standing in the darkness of my bathroom as if that silence would somehow lead me to an answer. I found none. I had my father waiting for me and no idea what he would do. The fact that he let me leave to pee almost felt like a shock. He would start to wonder where I was soon enough. It felt like I stood at the edge of a cliff as a pack of wolves advanced on me. Either I could let them tear me to pieces, or I could leap to the rocks below. I lost either way, but at least with the rocks, it felt like my choice. But I didnโt want to fucking die. I didnโt want to lose. I wanted my happy ending with Mordechai, and I wanted it not to feel like too much to ask for. When I stepped out, three of my dadโs men stood there waiting for me. Alex waited front and center, staring at me like he thought I would run. That alone made me want to do it. Surely something better could have been waiting for me outside of this house. โElle,โ he said, gesturing back the way
MordechaiI thought if I sat there long enough, surely my insides would begin to implode. I would get a kind, merciful death that would free me. But every time I thought I would finally die, I would open my eyes again and see the desk, the guards, the way I had no choices. I could live if I wanted. Jonathan would have chosen that. Kill the girl and back to business as usual. I had decided long ago that I wouldnโt let anything happen to her. If this man truly understood that, he would end my life. โI think the wisest thing we can do is get her here,โ Jonathan said to me. โand handle everything somewhere safe.โ โI can go get her,โ I said automatically. If I could only get out of the room, then I could find Ellie and warn her. Better yet, I could grab her and run. How far would we have gotten? I would put her safety above all else, but if we could be together at the end of thisโฆ I needed that. I needed her. I didnโt know how to go on with my life without her. How would I fade back to n
EllieI kept my eyes on the driver the whole time, half thinking the guy would try to kill me. Iโd seen him before though. One of my dadโs guys, so he probably didnโt have plans to swerve into a tree and take us both out. I almost wanted him to. At least I could rest that way. The drive felt longer than normal, though I knew we went down the same path as Mordechai brought me a few times before. I stared at the empty seat next to me, wishing so badly he sat there. I pictured him taking my hand so I would know everything would be fine. A day would come where things didnโt hurt like this. It might have been some wishful thinking. Gravel crunched under the tires, alerting me that my time had run out. I should have texted Mordechai so he could say something to me that would relax my heart. I knew those words didnโt really exist though. I needed to make myself calm down. My dad just wanted to see me. Trying to look at his face might have been though. Trying to deal with the fact that I ha
MordechaiIt felt like sitting at the bottom of a mountain and waiting for the lava to come cover me. I could see the blazing red pouring down the side, inching closer and closer to me with every passing moment. It would come burn me any moment, but I didnโt get up. I didnโt run. Maybe I should have. Where would I go if I ran? I couldnโt picture a place that would appeal to me. It all looked dull in my head, as it always did. Nothing had that spark that people got. That little bump in their heartbeat at the idea of escaping somewhere better. Nothing could compare to this apartment, because I woke up with Ellie beside me in the mornings. Iโd known this whole time it wouldnโt last. But you couldnโt survive lava when it found you at the bottom of the mountain. I couldnโt sit on the couch and wait for Ellie to come back. It would have sent me running for that lava just to get it over with. Instead, I kept myself busy with making the bed, cleaning the counters, and making everything neat
EllieI hoped to god standing my ground and not looking weak did it for him. I didnโt feel very strong, no matter what I said. My bones itched for me to grab that wine glass and down the whole thing in one go, but I resisted. I needed my wits about me for this, and I knew it would only taste like failure. I heard my father in my head, telling me to drink. I saw him pouring me wine with dinner when the conversation would get to be a little too much for him. I saw the look in his eyes when he figured out Iโd started drinking without him, and how he pretended not to notice how often I smelled like alcohol. โAre you planning on telling your father we met today?โ Urie asked me. He set his glass of wine down and I tried not to stare at it. โShould I?โ I asked. โThatโs up to you. Iโm sure you know our relationship is a little contentious at best. He might be angry to find out that we shared a meal together.โ Ah. I needed to turn up the dad hate. โI think he would be very, very upset. Whi
MordechaiโItโs pretty fuckinโ stupid how much my thighs hurt,โ Ellie complained. She wiggled around on the bed, grabbing her leg and pulling it up to stretch. โDo you have to be so big?โ โNo, I can try and little up for you if you want. No problem.โ She stuck her tongue out at me, then winced when she switched legs. I told her we could try out other positions. No skin off my nose. Sheโd insisted she liked it on top of me, making it pointless to try other things. I did not agree. โMaybe we shouldnโt have done it three times in a day,โ I commented, adding a line to the sketch I had in front of me. Ellie stopped to glower at me like Iโd suggested we eat a live kitten. โYou take that back right now. I may be in absolute agony, but I have no regrets. Every part of me hurts, but thatโs just proof I got rocked and I can live with it.โ โI feel bad. Whereโs the proof I got rocked too?โ She smirked. โYou have a post got-some glow about you. I mean, I assume. You look happier than usual,