Then - Part II

Bailey

            “Jesus Connor, she’s fucking frozen!” Jessica shrieked.

            “She told me she was going ta call a taxi, not walk home!” Connor’s voice rang out in a mixture of anger and, surprisingly, concern.

            “And you didn’t even make sure she actually called one!?”

            “Doona get all high and mighty, lass. Ya werna so concerned about her before,” he said before roughly shoving her away, and cradling me against his chest. He’d never touched me or held me like this before. Never. The experience was bittersweet. I never wanted him to touch me again.

            “Because you said she was fine!” Jessica screeched from where she’d fallen flat on her ass, struggling to get up.

            I’d already wondered why he thought it was okay to bring her with him when he was obviously going to my house, but their argument brought out a whole barrage of other questions. None of which I wanted to explore at the moment. Connor mumbled something about hypothermia, frostbite, and the hospital before draping a coat around me. The same one that smelled like Jessica’s perfume. Somehow that made me realize my inner bitch wasn’t completely dead. Buried deep? Yes. Not dead though. I would rather be alone. I was better than this. I realized that while they’d been arguing, his body heat had warmed me just enough for me to remember my grip on the pepper spray. I shrugged the coat off me and pushed away from him. Although it took some work, I steadied myself before facing him.

“I don’t deserve this, Connor. I’ll never marry you.” I cursed my frozen body and chattering teeth for making the statement a shit ton weaker than I’d intended, but Connor’s look told me he got it.

            “Ya doona mean that, Bailey. We’re destined ta be tagether. I’m a man, and these lasses like Jess are just something I have ta get outta ma system before we settle down, and then it’s just us. I swear it ta ya, lass.”

            So, she was Jess, huh? She had a nickname, and I was just Bailey. Good old Bailey, who didn’t know what she meant. What a crock of bat shit. He took a step in my direction and opened his mouth to spew more BS, and I let the pepper spray show him how serious I was.

“I. Will. Not. Marry. You. Ever!”

While he screamed and tried to cover his face, I turned to get in his car only to remember Jessica was still there. Against my better judgment, I asked one of the questions that had been burning in my mind.

“Why did you come with him, to my house?” She stared at me wide-eyed and in shock before pulling herself together enough to answer.

            “I didn’t. I told him to take me home. We were going to my house, not yours.”

            That pain in my chest that I thought had gone away hit me like a physical blow. Barely swallowing back a sob, I remembered she lived a street away from me. Go ahead Universe, just keep ’em coming. Connor hadn’t come to look for me and make sure I got home okay. He hadn’t been worried about me making it home. He’d come across me entirely by accident while taking Jessica home. I had to steady myself against his car because my heart had officially been decimated, and I wasn’t strong enough to hold myself upright against the anguish. I turnex back to his car only to realize how much I truly wanted no part of him. I’d rather face the cold. Slowly and very unsteady, I stumbled home.

By the time I’d showered some warmth back into my body and layered myself in two sets of fleece pajamas, the house was a flurry of activity. I could hear my dad’s voice along with Connor’s and several other men. I should have called my dad and told him I was stranded, but I wasn’t supposed to be out in the first place.

It was times like this that I longed for my mom to be alive. God, I missed her. She would have never let my dad arrange a marriage for me. She would have never allowed any of this. He said this arrangement would benefit me by welcoming me into Connor’s family on his mom’s side. I saw no actual benefit, and he never deemed to give me any other reasoning no matter how much I asked. Did he really think so little of me that I couldn’t even take care of myself without a man? Did he really think I’d crumble and fold on my own? That I couldn’t make it without him or someone else to take care of me?

I’d slowly made my way downstairs, where Connor was demanding to see me. My dad was two steps away from hurting him. The others acted as barriers and my dad’s lapdogs, waiting for him to signal what to do about Connor. There were also paramedics and cops. The paramedics were trying to get Connor into the ambulance; his eyes and face were swollen and redder than his hair—fuck yeah, pepper spray—and the cops stood by saying and doing nothing.

My dad waited silently for Connor to be quiet, but he never did. The only reason he was getting away with his current tantrum was because Daddy would never lose control and embarrass the family in front of others, inciting gossip. Connor would definitely pay for that later.

            “Connor, I will tell you again and for the last time. Bailey is in her room, most likely asleep, as we all should be. Go to the hospital, have your injuries treated further than what these paramedics could accomplish, and come back in the morning.”

            My father’s tone brooked no argument, and Connor abruptly paused mid-rant as though he’d just realized the enormity of what he’d done. He glanced around the room, stopping when his gaze landed on me. My dad followed his gaze and his eyes softened when they reached me. I knew he loved me, but times like this made me question how deep that love went. Was it only obligatory? I was his daughter. The last link to his wife, who couldn’t have any children after me.

            “Sweetheart, why don’t you get something to help clean Connor up and meet us in the study?” he said, giving me a sweet smile.

            I turned without a word and went to the study. I didn’t have to wait long, and when my dad noticed I had nothing to help Connor, he raised a questioning eyebrow.

“He deserves to suffer. Let him.”

I offered nothing more, and my dad accepted it with the corners of his mouth twitching as he fought a smile. He went to his desk then turned to face Connor, who lingered just inside the doorway.

            “Care to explain why you’re throwing a tantrum in my home at this ungodly hour?”

            Sufficiently cowed, Connor dropped his head and began to mumble his explanation. My dad barked out a command for him to speak up and look at him. Connor’s head snapped up, and through swollen eyes, he watched me as he told my dad that I’d caught him with Jessica and refused to speak to him about it. I rolled my eyes, but before I could speak, my dad did.

            “The Rustmore girl from around the corner? Bailey’s friend, Jessica?” my father asked. His face was impassive, with no emotion at all, but his tone was sharp.

            “Yes, sir. It was nothing. Just a little fling. I was trying to explain that to Bailey, but she wouldn’t hear me out. She started talking about how she would never marry me.”

            “And I won’t. Say what you want, gloss over the details, make this into less than it actually is, but our names will never legally grace a marriage license together.”

            “That has already been decided, Bailey. He’s the man I chose for you,” my father countered.

            The carefully crafted and honed over nearly 18-years veneer I kept in place shattered and venom spewed.

“Then you chose horribly fucking wrong! You’re my father, and it’s your job to look out for me. Me! To protect me from anyone who would cause me harm, even if that’s your shitty excuse for a golden boy. Do you honestly think you can force me to marry him? Him? Of all people? I have absolutely no friends because you only allow me around certain people and he’s screwed every single one of them, never even bothering to hide the fact that it was happening. But I’m supposed to keep myself pure and innocent for him? No one will touch me or talk to me or, hell, even look in my direction because you two put some claim on me. I have no one! No! One! I’ve never asked him for anything, and I needed him tonight for the simplest of things: a fucking ride home, and because he preferred getting his dick wet, he told me I’d have to wait outside on his porch until he was done. I had to walk home in the snow and freezing cold in the dead of night. And that’s who you think is best for me? The one who will protect me, cherish me, and look out for my best interest? That’s your chosen one? Well, with all due respect fuck you and fuck your choice because it will never be mine.”

My chest heaved, and my voice had nearly given out by the time I was done. Tears flowed in a constant stream from my eyes, because fuck, this hurt like hell. I had no idea how physical emotional pain could actually be. My father’s eyes burned, and his fists were clenched at his side in barely contained anger. I expected his ire to be directed at me, but he turned to Connor.

            “Do you deny any of what she’s saying?”

            Clearly, my word still wasn’t good enough. Connor didn’t answer at first, and even though he watched me, I couldn’t decipher the look in his eyes.

“Deny it or don’t. I know it’s true. Mom would never need any confirmation over my own words.”

Low blow, but fuck it. Fuck it all. Fuck them all. I’d been meek and quiet about this my entire life. If this would be the only time I could stand up for myself, then so be it. My life was worth more than this. I made to move for the door, but Connor’s words stopped me.

            “It’s true, sir. I wish it wasn’t, but it is.”

            As the last word left his mouth, my father was in front of him. His hand flew through the air, and a crack resounded through the room. He’d slapped Connor. Open-handed, palm-connected, smacked him. Connor seemed just as shocked as I. My father gave cautionary warnings once, and then he cut you off, but he’d never hit anyone. I’d never seen him lash out with more than a raised voice. Seeing him this way was shocking and unnerving. He looked as though it came naturally and I questioned how well I truly knew him. Three consecutive jabs to the face landed Connor in a heap on the floor. Two swift kicks to the gut, and my father squatted next to him, forcing his head back with a fistful of his hair.

            “The next time I hear of you with another woman, any woman other than my daughter, I will cut your fucking dick off. It should have already been so, but maybe I didn’t make this part clear to you: she will always be your priority. You will drop any and everything the minute she makes a need known. You will cater to her and treat her as she deserves to be treated. She will be your world. Anything less, and I will end you and your entire fucking clan. Am I understood?”

            “Yes, sir, Mr. Ross,” Connor gasped out as he clutched his side where my dad had kicked him.

            Standing back to his full height, my father turned to face me.

            “One more thing, Connor. If you wish to stay in the position I’ve chosen for you, then you will have to prove it to her. I won’t force her to marry you, I won’t force her to be with you, and I won’t force her to hold out for you, although I hope she knows her worth and will hold out for that reason. If that’ll be you is her choice. If she decides to marry you will be up to her.”

            My father ended his spiel with a kiss on my forehead, telling me he loved me before telling me to go get some rest. I stopped as I passed Connor, who still struggled to get up. I waited for him to meet my eyes before I spoke.

            “Mark my words, Connor O’Malley. No matter what you do or say, I will never marry you.”