I blinked once, twice as the sounds around me dimmed to a buzz. I could see Genevieve’s moving but I could not hear a sound out of them. A hand on my shoulder brought me out of my daze and I gasped like I had not been breathing. “I think she’s gonna fall.” Someone muttered before hands enfolded me. “No!” I snapped and stepped away from them, my voice breaking. I licked my lips nervously, my eyes on Genevieve. “Where’s mum?” “I came to do a routine check this morning and she was still asleep when I came in. But when I checked a few minutes ago, she was…she wasn’t breathing.” She said, her face holding sympathy. “What do you mean she wasn’t breathing-but she’s fine now right?” “Myra…” “Right?!” “You should wait for the doctor, to tell you more, Ill get-“ “No! She was completely fine yesterday, nothing was wrong?” I said confused, clinging to the chair underneath me that Hannah had forced me into. Terminal lucidity…the doctor’s words played in my head, and everything seeme
“Dear brothers and sisters we are gathered here today not only to mourn the passing of our beloved Joanna Thompson, but to celebrate…” I kept my eyes focused on the priest as he stood over my mother’s grave, saying his final words. I could barely believe two weeks has passed since mum died. Time seemed to be flying by in a blur, and I would not have gotten through it without Hannah. She rubbed my shoulder tenderly, her head leaning against mine as she listened to the priest. If not for her, Angie and Carter, I would’ve lost my mind about not finding my sister. A deep ache settled in my chest. Till now, we had not heard a word from her. All the movement we had done to get away from dad had thought her a thing or two about disappearing. Save for a single text, saying she was fine, we had gotten nothing else. “As we bid farewell to our beloved Joanna, let us pray that they may rest in piece. Eternal rest grant unto…” There was about twenty people present. The staff, my friends…th
My eyes glossed over the words scribbled on the long piece of paper, words that were written in different techniques a testament to her state of mind throughout the process. The ink trailed off in some parts, like the pen had slipped from her hand mid-word. Some of the letters looked like they were melting, thinned and faint, as if she'd been holding the pen too loosely, some were in her normal writing light, tall strokes that showed penmanship assisted by frail hands while other parts were pressed in hard, the ink so dark it bled slightly through the back of the page. I could almost see her hand shaking, or pressing down with too much force, then lifting, uncertain. Like she had stopped and started a hundred times. ‘My sweet girl,’ the letter began, ‘I don’t know how to start this. I’ve written and rewritten these words in my head for years, but now I’m running out of time and I can’t avoid it anymore.’ The ink was deeper at the end of the letter like she had held the pen there,
Three months later…“This isn’t it” I muttered closing the file in front of me before putting it back in the storage box, along with the other files I had gone through. I glanced around the storage room lit by a single faulty bulb and the lamp I started to bring with me after the third day here. This was the only part of St john’s hospital that didn’t smell like bleach or medication. I inhaled deeply and picked another file. I came here four times a week at minimum, trying to find records of my birth, records of Camilla. Unfortunately, the hospital had not been digitized then and their organization method was absolute shit, therefore making the process harder.I wasn’t even sure her file was here. The records department had refused to partake in my search, but at least they let me be in here, all thanks to Hannah’s intervention. “Not it.” I muttered and put the next file away. As I reached for another one, my cell blared to life breaking the silence.I crawled on all fours to my
Not a bold smile, like I would expect, but one that conveyed vulnerability. Which seemed even scarier. I blinked rapidly hoping this specter from my past would disappear, but she persisted, and then began walking towards me. She was trying to cross the small street when I whirled around and climbed into my car, cringing at the force with which I slammed the door. “You slammed the door.” A very helpful Heidi pointed out. “Sorry doll.” I said quickly and paused. I had not heard that nickname in a while nor thought of ever saying it out-loud but here I was. Few seconds with his mother in sight and I was wigging out. “I’m not a doll, I’m a girl.” I didn’t turn back but I knew her nose and brows were scrunched up in a disgusted frown. I started the car and glanced behind, before slipping out of my parking space. I gripped the steering wheel tightly to stop my hands from shaking. What was it? Fear? I was scared. Not of Elizabeth but of what she signified. Pierce. What was
Lost his mind?Elizabeth stared me down while I processed her words. Pierce lost his mind? This was the part where I should tell her I still didn’t care, check on Heidi and get the hell out of here.I swallowed, my feet rooted to the spot. “Go on.” I said finally, forcing my expression to stay blank. “Two months ago, I wanted to reach out to him for some…personal reasons. He was not in his office. And that secretary of his told me he was home, and that whatever thing that needed handling, he or the COO would take of it. Obviously I wanted to talk to my son directly. So I tried home, and the guards wouldn’t even let me through the gate. I’m his mother, and they blatantly refused.” “Is this the part where I feel sorry for you.” I asked pointedly, why was she blabbering about unimportant things anyway. She should be telling me about Pierce. Annoyance flickered across her face. And I could see the goody act for what it was. She tucked it behind a mask again. “When I questioned his s
I scoffed, raising my feet off the soft rug and hugging it to myself. “So he’s done stalking me all over the city and now wants to guilt trip me into coming to him?” “Do you think that’s what this is?” Angie asked calmly. I blew out a breath, avoiding her gaze. “No.” She smiled, “what do you think it is then?” “I don’t know.” I shrugged “he’s having a mid life crisis? it doesn’t matter what he’s doing, he just has to stop it. I might not love him anymore but I don’t want him to hurt himself.” She made no comment on the “don’t love him” part. Thank God. “So you’re gonna pay a visit to him?” I chewed on my bottom lip and leaned back in my chair. If I was going to his house, it had nothing to do with his mother’s request, like I said, I didn’t want anything horrible to happen to him. I had moved on from us, and it was time he did too. If he needed a little push from me then I would give him that. As a thank you for everything he had done for me. “I’m gonna have to tell Carter
Saturdays were our stay-at-home day. We would all pile into the kitchen to help, or bother Angie while she made food, or we would both do personal things; like me reading a book and Heidi doing her homework, but all in the kitchen. Today Heidi sat across from me on the counter, while Angie chopped carrots for her latest creation. I glanced up from my laptop and watched her, hair in pigtails, crossed legged and face scrunched in concentration as she moved her colored pencils over her current project. Peaceful.And yet, I didn’t feel that way deep down. My eyes moved to my phone again and I looked away for the dozenth time. I had made several calls to Carter, all of which he rejected. I got that he was upset but I really had good intentions when I wanted to visit Pierce. Of course that was off the table now. I would not jeopardize the relationship I was building with Carter to check on him. No matter how bad I thought he was doing. Because it wasn’t my problem. I told myself. Angie
I pushed other papers out of the way, revealing more photographs. With them in my hands I sat back on my knees, and tried to comit every photo to my memory. “You shouldn’t have these.” I said, my voice shaking. “Myra-““Why do you have them, when did you take them?” That last question was irrelevant. He had taken them at the hospital, while I was holding Yvette. One of the photos was a close replica to the portrait he had given me. I didn’t even hear a camera click. In one photo, Yvette’s face was scrunched up, she looked like she was winking at the camera. My hand brushed her downy hair, my throat closing up with emotion.“Hey sweet pea.” I whispered, and looked at another photograph. “They’re all I have of both of you.” He said and I turned. He had lowered himself to the floor, not very close to me. New clothes clverred his body and water dripped down feom his wet hair. “I…wanted to give them to you. But, you took all of Yvette’s ashes and I…I just needed something to remind me
I made quick work of cleaning the kitchen while Angie worked on the living room. Pierce stayed in the kitchen with me, with the excuse that he was eating. I could feel his eyes burning into my back as I cleaned the fridge. God, I could barely believe my eyes when I turned in the living room. For a second I wondered if Pierce’s house had been broken into, and the long haired, bearded, hunched man in front of me was a hobo. It took a while for me to wrap my head around the fact that it was Pierce. He had lost so much weight. I could feel all his ribs when I went to help him, but that didn’t change how strong he was…My body lit up at the memory of how he held me, his hands skating delicately across my skin. Even now, I could not deny my body’s reaction to him. There are somethings you make peace with. This was one of them for me. But being attracted to him, did not mean I would be disloyal to Carter. I came here for one thing and as soon as that was completed, I would leave. “You’re
I stood outside the gates of Pierce’s house willing for something to happen. Anything that would make me say ‘Pierce was fine’, climb back in our car and get the fuck out of here. “Ready?” Angie asked me, adjusting the bag of food and cleaning supplies we had brought with us. “Yeah.” I rooted in my bag for the key Trevor had given to me. We had passed two different security personnel so far, but here, there was no one. My heart beat frantically in my chest as I fixed the key in the lock and twisted, bracing myself for what we were going to see before I pushed it open. The outside of the bouse didnt look bad. Sure, a few blades of grass had managed to make a home in different parts of the concrete but that was about it. Save for it looking completely abandoned, nothing seemed amiss. It made me wonder if he had even stepped out of the house all this time. When we entered the house, Angie sneezed, dropping her bags on the floor to grab a kerchief. A sheen of dust covered every su
Saturdays were our stay-at-home day. We would all pile into the kitchen to help, or bother Angie while she made food, or we would both do personal things; like me reading a book and Heidi doing her homework, but all in the kitchen. Today Heidi sat across from me on the counter, while Angie chopped carrots for her latest creation. I glanced up from my laptop and watched her, hair in pigtails, crossed legged and face scrunched in concentration as she moved her colored pencils over her current project. Peaceful.And yet, I didn’t feel that way deep down. My eyes moved to my phone again and I looked away for the dozenth time. I had made several calls to Carter, all of which he rejected. I got that he was upset but I really had good intentions when I wanted to visit Pierce. Of course that was off the table now. I would not jeopardize the relationship I was building with Carter to check on him. No matter how bad I thought he was doing. Because it wasn’t my problem. I told myself. Angie
I scoffed, raising my feet off the soft rug and hugging it to myself. “So he’s done stalking me all over the city and now wants to guilt trip me into coming to him?” “Do you think that’s what this is?” Angie asked calmly. I blew out a breath, avoiding her gaze. “No.” She smiled, “what do you think it is then?” “I don’t know.” I shrugged “he’s having a mid life crisis? it doesn’t matter what he’s doing, he just has to stop it. I might not love him anymore but I don’t want him to hurt himself.” She made no comment on the “don’t love him” part. Thank God. “So you’re gonna pay a visit to him?” I chewed on my bottom lip and leaned back in my chair. If I was going to his house, it had nothing to do with his mother’s request, like I said, I didn’t want anything horrible to happen to him. I had moved on from us, and it was time he did too. If he needed a little push from me then I would give him that. As a thank you for everything he had done for me. “I’m gonna have to tell Carter
Lost his mind?Elizabeth stared me down while I processed her words. Pierce lost his mind? This was the part where I should tell her I still didn’t care, check on Heidi and get the hell out of here.I swallowed, my feet rooted to the spot. “Go on.” I said finally, forcing my expression to stay blank. “Two months ago, I wanted to reach out to him for some…personal reasons. He was not in his office. And that secretary of his told me he was home, and that whatever thing that needed handling, he or the COO would take of it. Obviously I wanted to talk to my son directly. So I tried home, and the guards wouldn’t even let me through the gate. I’m his mother, and they blatantly refused.” “Is this the part where I feel sorry for you.” I asked pointedly, why was she blabbering about unimportant things anyway. She should be telling me about Pierce. Annoyance flickered across her face. And I could see the goody act for what it was. She tucked it behind a mask again. “When I questioned his s
Not a bold smile, like I would expect, but one that conveyed vulnerability. Which seemed even scarier. I blinked rapidly hoping this specter from my past would disappear, but she persisted, and then began walking towards me. She was trying to cross the small street when I whirled around and climbed into my car, cringing at the force with which I slammed the door. “You slammed the door.” A very helpful Heidi pointed out. “Sorry doll.” I said quickly and paused. I had not heard that nickname in a while nor thought of ever saying it out-loud but here I was. Few seconds with his mother in sight and I was wigging out. “I’m not a doll, I’m a girl.” I didn’t turn back but I knew her nose and brows were scrunched up in a disgusted frown. I started the car and glanced behind, before slipping out of my parking space. I gripped the steering wheel tightly to stop my hands from shaking. What was it? Fear? I was scared. Not of Elizabeth but of what she signified. Pierce. What was
Three months later…“This isn’t it” I muttered closing the file in front of me before putting it back in the storage box, along with the other files I had gone through. I glanced around the storage room lit by a single faulty bulb and the lamp I started to bring with me after the third day here. This was the only part of St john’s hospital that didn’t smell like bleach or medication. I inhaled deeply and picked another file. I came here four times a week at minimum, trying to find records of my birth, records of Camilla. Unfortunately, the hospital had not been digitized then and their organization method was absolute shit, therefore making the process harder.I wasn’t even sure her file was here. The records department had refused to partake in my search, but at least they let me be in here, all thanks to Hannah’s intervention. “Not it.” I muttered and put the next file away. As I reached for another one, my cell blared to life breaking the silence.I crawled on all fours to my
My eyes glossed over the words scribbled on the long piece of paper, words that were written in different techniques a testament to her state of mind throughout the process. The ink trailed off in some parts, like the pen had slipped from her hand mid-word. Some of the letters looked like they were melting, thinned and faint, as if she'd been holding the pen too loosely, some were in her normal writing light, tall strokes that showed penmanship assisted by frail hands while other parts were pressed in hard, the ink so dark it bled slightly through the back of the page. I could almost see her hand shaking, or pressing down with too much force, then lifting, uncertain. Like she had stopped and started a hundred times. ‘My sweet girl,’ the letter began, ‘I don’t know how to start this. I’ve written and rewritten these words in my head for years, but now I’m running out of time and I can’t avoid it anymore.’ The ink was deeper at the end of the letter like she had held the pen there,