FIRST CRUSH.

I sat quietly listening to Sophia's complaint about me. It was embarrassing and indeed, I was at fault. I began sober as I couldn't defend myself? Did I even believe in myself, let alone others? I managed to smile at her and, pulling out my badge, I gave it to her.

"Don't get this all wrong… Jane…"

"Yeah I know, you keep repeating It's my fault, and I am trying to get the punishment due" I posed frowning. Sincerely, I was happy and sad at the same time to leave this job that gave me headache.

"Why are you acting like though it's my fault! Can't you recall the chaos you've caused since your arrival?. Haven't I tried my best to defend you?" She retorts. Sophia was now furious, and I expected it.

"If you didn't want the job, why didn't you reject it? Rather than causing a scene?" She furthered.

"Are you scolding me because you're a boss over me now?" I blasted, moving towards the door.

"When will you ever realize that you're at fault?" She said calmly and rubbing her head.

"When would ever believe that, am not just imagining!" I yelled. Sophia smirked at me and flipped a letter.

"Can't you recall in college, you were good at art, especially when it comes to imaginations…just fix yourself" she concluded sitting down. I glanced at the letter, it was a suspension letter for two weeks, with a scoff, I nodded and blotted out what I wanted to say.

"Am never returning, ungrateful wench!". She gasped and as she wanted to reply, I opened the door and slammed it to her face. I now had tears in my eyes as I walked in hast to leave the office. One thing I was sure of was that I would never! Ever! Return. I wondered why I was stressing myself in such a place I despise. Haven made up my mind, I decided to search for a job myself outside my field of study. I couldn't afford to take a cab since I urgently needed a job and walking could help secure one. I must say, this day was vain for my me. When I got home, I immediately took an ice bag from the fridge to place on my head, which was hurting and skin sore. I had regrets, wondering why my life was ruled by others and decisions made without my concern. I walked to the bedroom and laid on my bed. My face suddenly beamed up when I recalled when I intended to commit suicide. How could I forget such moment? It was late at night, and I was contemplating on what kind of death would be easier, but I choose to drown. I wrote a journal of my life that morning and the final words I would say to my parents down on a letter in case an investigation was carried out. I was so depressed with no one to talk to or even a place to stay, and death was what rang in the head. It hurts when people tell you words like;

"You aren't worth it! What are you good at! Stop acting crazy! She's psychic!" I didn't even have someone to comfort me, either. That night, I wore a hood covering my face and paced towards the bridge, which just a distance from my old apartment then. I went beneath it and watched the wave of the lagoon. I sat on its fine sand that made it look like a beach praying my last prayer, and although I was frightened at the same time, I was determined to kill myself. Likewise, I exhaled heavily and ran into the water like a child as it splashed all over me. I went furthered but a screamed stopped me. I looked around, and I found someone screaming for help behind me. I changed my position and swam towards him to rescue him before he drowns. After much battle of trying to save this man who wasn't helping matters, I found myself on the sand with him. He was breathing profusely as though he was going to pass out any moment from now, and I was pissed off.

"Get a hold of yourself!" I snapped and he turned to face me. I couldn't see his face clearly as it was dark, and I guess he couldn't see mine either besides, we both had something covering our eyes which was a cap.

"Why were you trying to kill yourself?" He asked with a cool voice that captured my heart. This man had caught a hold of his breath. I shoved aside that feeling and looked away.

"I think you're the one who was committing suicide" I replied and laid upright gazing at the sky.

"I was trying to rescue you" he muttered and I smirked. Who saved who now? Why acting like a hero when you aren't worth being one. There was silence for a few minutes, he then stood up and came to my front.

"Remember someone once said…you can do something, anything, and everything if you want to". I cursed silently how was that helping? This stranger had just ruined my mission! He doesn't even know why I would take such an act. I tried to close my eyes,, but something drew me to this man, it was his smile. From his posture, he looked like a handsome young man, and his smile had said it all. This guy was a weirdo, he stretched his arm towards me to get up and leave. We didn't even know each other, yet I must say he was a foe and hero at the same time. I reject his offer by standing up by myself to show that I wasn't a weakling. He suddenly scoffed and began to walk away. I didn't even ask him who he was. What if he was a spy? But who would spy on an ordinary girl like me? I watched him until I lost track of him, and the only thing that kept popping out of my head was his charming smile. How stupid of me, right? It was later on, that the words of this stranger became my driving force. I always used it as a quote that indeed I could do something, anything, and everything if I wanted to. Forgetting that memory now, I needed to concentrate on getting a new job or else I would be doomed.