Chapter 1

Rainbow

What I had was something not perfect but I was content. Although the life I lived was not luxurious, it was happy. It's hard sometimes but it's also manageable. I got so used to the warmth that I wasn't able to brace myself for the cold and dark. That's what became of us when my mother died. She was our warmth and light. Now that she is gone, everything has become dark for me and my father.

"Dad, that’s enough. You're drunk," I shook his shoulder.

He only answered me with a weak grunt. It's been a few months since Mom died. Since then, this scene is what I always come across every time I come home from school. My drunk dad.

The many times he had been like that, I eventually got used to it. I didn't complain every time I came home hungry and there was no food in the kitchen. Sometimes it's morning when he comes home from somewhere, drunk. Everything really turned upside down when my mom left us.

"Dad, I'm hungry," I whined one day when I couldn't help it anymore.

I really wanted to cry during those times, at the helplessness and the extreme hunger. If only I was old enough to look for something to eat on my own. But what could I possibly do? I was just a little kid.

At times like that I miss my Mom the most. I miss everything about her. The way she takes care of everything I need, the way she caresses me every time I cry, and the food she prepares. All of it.

"Just look for something there. I'm going to sleep," he said coldly.

As he said, I looked for something to eat. But finding food made me even hungrier when I didn't find anything. I cried so hard that night in hopes that he would come for me and comfort me. As he always did before. But it didn't happen.

That's when I started harboring ill feelings toward my father. But no matter how much I harden my heart when it comes to him, I can't do it completely. He is still my father. And that won't change.

I thought he would get better as the years passed. I thought that after a long time, he would be able to completely bury the sadness of losing Mom. But he only got worse. There were weeks when he didn't come home that I was very worried about. But eventually, he would go home and bring food and other things for the house.

"Do you have a job again?"

I asked while staring down at him from the door jamb. He was busy stacking the groceries he had brought. I remember him not going to work for years now. Since he gets drunk almost every day, he must have been fired from his job long ago.

He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. He kept on avoiding my gaze, too. I know him too well when he's lying. And that's what I see now.

"Y-Yes," he smiled and went back to what he was doing. "Have you eaten?"

Even though I was noticing something during those times, I tried to ignore it. I was too preoccupied with school and part-time jobs that I didn't have enough time to check on him.

He didn't come home for several months after that. And always, even though my heart is struggling and my body is tired, I try not to put everything on display. I promised myself that I would try to finish school, just to pull myself out of the slump. I don't want to continue living like this. Like hell, I would.

"Congratulations to us! We are finally graduating!”

"Yes! My god, after all the hardships, finally!”

They both hugged me and the three of us were almost out of breath. Life had been so hard on me for the past years. So it's good that I have friends I can count on all the time. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be able to handle the hardships.

"Don't do that Julienne! I'm crying, damn."

"Me too, Avery," they both cried while hugging me tight.

"Oh, why am I not part of the group hug?"

We all turned only to see Nathan smiling from ear to ear. He joined us as we laughed at ourselves.

I roamed my eyes around to look for my father that day. In my heart, I secretly hope that at least for this day, he will be able to come and see me. Whenever I feel like I've passed one of the hardest tests of my life, I want him there. But he didn't come. I went home to the deafening silence of our house that day.

I totally gave up after that. I just focused on finding a job while preparing for the board exam to become a full-fledged accountant. It was a big deal that I was recommended by the bank where I did my internship in college. I got in there as a teller.

That's when I met Francis. As soon as I saw him for the first time, I knew I felt something different. But I tried to suppress it. I was so focused on earning for myself that I didn't give myself a chance to feel those kinds of emotions. But he noticed me and courted me.

I was attracted to him, I admit that. But what made me fall in love with him was his gentleness and warmth. He made me feel that I'm loved. That very thing I longed for for so many years. Even though I don't want to admit it to myself, the depths of my heart secretly seek that kind of love. He filled all the emptiness in my heart. He was my rainbow after the rain.

“Mountains or seas?”

One day he suddenly asked while he was driving me home. I was ranting out of worry because the results of the board exams will come out the next day.

"Huh?”

He smiled and turned to me. He also removed my seat belt and held me by both arms.

“Mountains or seas?”

"What's up? Why are you asking?” I stared at him.

"Just answer it, babe."

"Mountains, are you okay?"

He nodded and caressed my cheek. Somehow I calmed down from thinking about the board exam result.

"I'm nervous about tomorrow," I said.

“You'll make it. I'm sure of that," he whispered with certainty and kissed my forehead.

"You think so?"

“I know you'll pass. So relax and rest well," he smiled.

I didn't say anything and just hugged him. He really knows how to comfort me in a way only he can do.

Julienne's greeted me early the next morning with a tight hug. I stared at our coworkers for a few moments because they applauded at the same time.

"Congratulations to us, Almene. We both passed," she cried on my shoulder.

I couldn't do anything but jump in shock and joy. Could this be it? The result of all the hardships I went through before. The replacement for the pain and suffering I had. I hope this is it and I hope it continues. I can't ask for anything more if this is it.

"I told you, you'd pass.”

I pressed myself even more into his chest. He hugged me tighter and played with my hair using his fingers. We're in the middle of a vast grassland on top of a hill. We were in the shade of a big tree and lay on the picnic blanket he laid out. He surprised me with a date.

"Thank you," I smiled.

I wanted to say so much more than that but all these emotions are overwhelming that I couldn't utter more words.

"I love you," he whispered back.

My heart sank with what he said. It ached happily that I couldn't help myself but look at him in the eyes while he was saying that. I studied his face closely like I was trying to memorize everything about it. His cute chinky eyes also smile when he smiles, then his pointed nose, pinkish thin lips, and his softly chiseled jaw. He looked like an angel in my eyes. The angel who's always there to protect and love me.

"I love you," I whispered.

He cupped my face and pulled me closer to him. I closed my eyes as I anticipated his kisses. My heart warmed with the way he kissed me softly and passionately. Like he's afraid he'd break me if he won't stop himself from being aggressive. He let go and stared at me intently.

I stared at him for a long time when my eyes caught his hand. He's holding a beautiful diamond ring. It sparkles every time the sun hits it. I couldn't stop crying because of various emotions.

"Althea, the moment I laid my eyes on you I knew right then and there that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you so much and I always dream of waking up every morning next to you, doing everything we want to do together. I've always longed for you to be my wife. Please marry me, babe.”

My tears just won't stop falling. I have long forgotten this warmth, this bliss. Half of my life was filled with pain and darkness. And I thought my life would stay like that. Until he came and brought back the warmth I longed for. As I said, he was my rainbow after the rain. And I grow even more in love with him as days pass.

I kept staring at him, amazed. I wanted this moment to be etched in my memory forever, our forever. Then I nodded slowly, tears pouring down more and more.

"Y-Yes. Of course, I will marry you," I cried while laughing.

His face lit up and he kissed me aggressively now.

With trembling hands, he put the ring on me. I couldn't take my eyes away from it even for a moment. I turned to look at him when he touched my cheek and wiped away the remaining tears.

I hugged him tight and silently wished for this moment to last for a lifetime. I secretly wished that time would stop and keep that scene.

All I wanted at first was to get out of the misery I was in. All I want is for life to improve as before. When he came to me, I became a little more greedy. I wanted to build a family of my own, with him, the man I love. And now that it will come true, the happiness I feel is endless. It was like nothing could ever ruin it.

I went home feeling light. My heart can't get rid of the excitement and joy. I kept thinking of what would happen next.

I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't notice another presence inside the house. I almost jumped in shock when I saw someone sitting on the single sofa in the living room. I just breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that it was just my Dad.

I was about to walk past him when he stood up and approached me hesitantly. In the end, he chose to stand far away from where I was.

I almost forgot what he looked like. He didn't come home for several months and I didn't even know where he was during those times. He aged a lot. The wrinkles on his face increased as well as the white hair.

I looked away. I can't bear seeing him like this. He used to be a lively man. Now that I see him like this, I can't help but feel hurt.

"Almene. Help me..."

He fell to his knees which made me panic and immediately support him. He sobbed like a child which left me dumbfounded and worried.

To be continued...