8. SHATTERED

She had not eaten the whole day. Even the thought of it didn’t cross her mind yet, her stomach kept lurching. Everything was happening too fast for her to comprehend. The way her life had quickly taken a turn to the worse was even more scary. Unfortunately, she didn’t have friends except work colleagues and with the current situation she couldn’t risk contacting them. The probability of most of them believing her was astronomical. An irony it was that they were actually the ones hunting her. She only trusted Peter but it also meant risking his life even though she was aware that he wouldn’t mind. She wasn’t aware of the affection that Peter had for her but she knew she could trust him. She had never been posted in the field yet but circumstances had now posted her on behalf of the agency, only that this time she was running from her own government with nowhere to run to. Going to jail was the last option she would think of and she was so determined to stay alive and running for as long as it would take. She knew that if she gets arrested, she may never get to see the inside of a prison cell even. The training kicked in automatically, it was like an instinct or an intuition. Knowing which streets to take, spotting subconsciously where the cameras were and knowing how to manoeuvre around them all happened naturally.

Nairobi streets are always cold when night is approaching, or at least most part of the year. Street lights proved their best in giving the illusion of warmness. A dark street is definitely colder than the latter. Regardless, they were never lonely. Busy as always with everyone going about their businesses. A lot were rushing home from work while the normal merchants who sold groceries remained opened to serve, their respective wards. Only the CBD became less busy while the outskirts busier when night crept in more. The splashing sound of river gnashing past rocks beneath them with bird chirping more as they landed high up on trees, they had built their nests on. Myra wished she was a bird at some point. No responsibilities, no going to jail, no rules to break and no one chasing after you with a bounty on your head. Although she understood that the jungle also had its own unwritten rules and also the wild was not that free of it but at least it would make sense there.

She was walking so cautious and slowly within the dark alleys of Kawangware. Through the day she had been avoiding police officers, ducking them when they came to vicinity. The alley connected to a street which was illuminated a little with street lights. Shops were on both sides of the street and also grocery stores here and there. They called them vibandas or mama mboga. A lot of people were still out though and she could overhear within the noises, people talking about the death of the TMU director. It had been the talk of the day and she expected it. What really surprised her was that she wasn’t scared of the public even though she knew they would give her up right away if they recognised her. All these thoughts ran in her mind as she walked down the street while worrying about what to do next. She didn’t even know where she was going but as long as she was on the move she didn’t care.

It happened almost like a flash of memory but she hesitated and slowed down her tracks. At some point it felt too real to be a memory. She turned slowly to have a clear look at the magazine stand that was at the side of the road and she saw it again. On the front page of all the different brands of magazines and newspapers available in the country. She was shocked and stood still for a while as if her limb had just been paralyzed. The seller of the magazine had not noticed her yet as he was busy on his phone and to her luck no one else was interested with magazines at the moment. So, it was just her and the magazine seller. Her heart raced quickly since there she was on the cover page and wanted fugitive at large it said. What felt creepier was the clothes she had on at the moment were the same that she also wore on the magazine. Quickly, she knew that either no one had read the magazines in the area or people were just too busy to be on the lookout for a killer on the run. You would suspect her even from a far by the clothes before even identifying her.

The seller’s phone rung, which kicked her out of her short escapade, and the guy received the call while looking away from Myra. To her it was an opportunity that had just presented itself. Quickly and smoothly but in a very relaxed way she picked one of the magazines and when she was just about to fold it into her pocket, a pedestrian appeared from the street before the alley she was just from. She pretended to read the newspaper and the same time hope the phone call prolonged for a while. The newcomer maintained his contact on her as he came closer and it made Myra more nervous. Her grip on the paper stiffened and she was almost sweating through her fingers. She wanted to just run and disappear but then Kawangware is packed with people everywhere and the attention wasn’t healthy for her.

She held her cool though as the stranger was now within arm’s reach to her.

“Hello beautiful”, greeted the fellow. Myra didn’t turn to answer but kept reading the newspaper. “Wow, too proud even for a hello, well there are a lot more like you out there”, the stranger retorted to the silence as he passed her and continued with his journey. Her pounding heart reduced its pace gradually as she felt more relaxed. The seller was still on call and had not noticed Myra’s presence yet. She commenced walking slowly while reading the magazine like a everything was normal. She reached a corner just a few meters from the magazine stand and glanced quickly to see the seller hanging up his phone. That was her cue for darting quickly towards the next street on the corner hence being invisible to the seller. Once she was out of sight, she just found herself walking quickly as if being tailed by someone. She knew she had to be very alert since her ex-company was very able to send an asset after her and it wouldn’t be a surprise if they were already on to her considering the number of resources they had.  

She had not read the Daily Nation newspaper she had embezzled her victim yet. In her mind she knew her clothes were easily recognisable but since it was already dark, she sought refuge of the dark alleys. At the end of this alley which lived between some unfinished constructions, connected to another street which to the right covered at least twenty metres before you reached a bridge. The river below the bridge acted like an imaginary wall that separated the rich and the poor. As she was crossing this river is when she recalled Peter again, the one person who believed her. His house was actually two storeys away from where she was standing. In her experience of working as an analyst, she was aware that it would be the last place they would look for her unless they already smelt a rat of him. There was no turning back and these was her only play. What she loved about the new community, Springs Estate, she was entering is that they were not overcrowded like in Kawangware. The chance of someone noticing her was rare but she still dreaded the fact that the same lot were so up to date with the current news and it would only take one of them to recognise her.

At long last, after walking in fear and switching her pace depending on her anxiety, she was finally at Peter’s gate. She knew the codes for access since Peter had already told her once when she visited her. For a moment she breathed slowly to control her breadth before punching in the codes. The gates opened for her and inside she went. While the gates closed, a beam of car headlights appeared up the streets. She quickly hid at the side of the gate close to the fence with one calculation in mind. If it was Peter then she would approach but if not then she may have to run like she has never before. The engine roar grew louder with her heartbeats. However, the car went passed the gate at a lightning speed towards the bridge. Once again there was silence and she was grateful of that as she sighed with relief.

Tiptoeing slowly to the main house, she peeped through the window and there was no movement inside. She was aware Peter was not going to be back soon as long as she is not apprehended. On circling to the back, the back door was left open. In a clandestine manner, she pushed the door wider open and entered inside. The door returned itself back to its previous position when she was already inside. Still she investigated the whole house just to be sure no one was inside. A quick bath is what she had yearned for the whole day and that’s what she did. She fitted herself into one of Peters black Khaki trousers, a black shirt with a black godfather that was hanging on the coat hanger. She had no plans to stay for long whatsoever. Being dressed up ensured she was all good to run in case of an ambush.

It was the best time to read the newspaper. There was no way she would want to connect to the internet as it would blow up her position. At least for the moment she needed the rest and the paper was the best piece of intel she could get. The headline on the front cover still screamed at her despite having read it before; THE ASSASSINATION OF TMU DIRECTOR. Luyenji Palmer’s picture alighting a plane covered the page. She was beside him and could remember that trip very well like it was just one week ago. They were from Addis Ababa from an intelligence meeting which involved lots of privileged people in the intelligence world. It didn’t ring a bell though to any suspects or who would frame her and to what course. What would they benefit from? She wondered. Needing a scapegoat was obvious but why her was what kept ranting her medulla. She quickly flipped the pages to where the story was. The first line of the paragraph went ahead: The hunt for Myra, a wanted fugitive for the murder of Luyenji, commences. She went on through the story, trying to see if she can get clues as to what happened.

And she did find something that her intuition really revolved around. The columnist had some speculations on what could have led to the murder. He claimed that maybe something happened at Ethiopia that could have triggered this series of events that led up to his demise. He also speculated that Myra could be a mole that was implanted long ago by some covert organizations or she was just a patsy. “I am a patsy” is what rung in her head, almost thinking she was talking with the author directly. There it was though, something popped up from all these. Backdating back to when they were still in Ethiopia there were was a dossier that Luyenji had assembled. The fact that he didn’t want her to even see it meant that it was very covert. She happened to fall on one of the files which was open on his laptop. The only page she could see at that point was labelled:

                                        TERRORIST MANAGEMENT UNIT

                                              STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

                                                          EYES ONLY

                                                        FILE 1 OF 10

                                             OPERATION GORE THIRSTY

At the time it didn’t look much of a thing but now it was a lot different due to the situation. It almost made sense to her now. The director would never talk to her about the files and he even took the initiative to create them himself. She also knew that the files never got to leave TMU though. Now she wanted those files and they were only in one place, TMU headquarters.