I stood there and watched him pull away from the parking lot before turning around and walking back to the field. The entire time, I was thinking about what the hell I was going to tell Sharon. I probably could have told her the truth because she already had some of the information, but I chose not to do so. It was important to me that she didn't find out what her father had to say about her.I gave my head a shake, and raindrops escaped from my hair and landed on the ground below.There was no question in my mind that I would not be ditching her tonight. Before my father was due to return, I had the full week to myself. In the event that my relationship with Ruth had to end before that point, I intended to make the most of the upcoming week.When I looked at my phone, there was a message from Maxwell asking where I had been. After jogging the remaining distance to the spectator stands, I hastily typed a response and then arrived there.When I arrived back to Sharon, I didn't feel lik
She smacked my arm, but all I could do was smirk because Ruth's warm little body was pressed up against mine on a teeny-tiny couch, so she had to be extra near. I didn't really give a fuck about it, but I did simply smirk anyhow. As I shut my eyes, my arm was encircling her torso, and I held it there.She mumbled something about it being inevitable. "Figures," "Mitts is going to be sitting on the bench anyway."During the course of our meal together, I grilled her with numerous inquiries concerning her mother and life in Minneapolis. I wasn't sure how I should feel about the fact that she missed her old house, but it was clear that she did. I still wanted to take the dicks off the two bastards who had done that shite to her, but at the same time, I was relieved that she was here with me now.Now.For the time being.Shit.My muscles were still incredibly painful, and I felt like absolute garbage, but I knew that I had to tell her about what my father had said the previous evening. I r
When I looked down, I saw that she was correct. I wasn't really paying attention, but it seemed like the rain was getting through my shirt. After I fell in the foyer, Sharon ordered me wait there while she went to the bathroom to get a towel. I had to do it because I was dripping wet. She questioned him by inquiring, "You want a shower or anything?" "Would you like to come with me?" I responded with a question mark above each eyebrow. My mouth kind of fell open when I made the remark, and I didn't even bother to discuss the topic with myself first. She questioned whether or not it was required of her that she behave like a young man. I reminded her, "I am an adolescent boy," she responded. After drying my hair with the towel, she pushed me up the stairs to her room so that she could get some privacy. I just kind of stood in the middle of the room and glanced around, noticing the little changes that had occurred since the last time I had been here. Sharon carried a handful of clothes i
I wanted to dispute with her and tell her that the only reason I could do that was because I had already taken care of the kids at school so that they wouldn't bother her again, but instead I was captivated by her gaze. I wanted to argue with her and tell her that the only reason I could do that was because I had already taken care of the kids at school. The way in which she was looking at me—so intently—it caused my heart to begin beating rapidly once more in my chest.It was only that glance that did it. The moment my eyes locked with hers, I had an instantaneous realization that it was game over for me. If she would just keep staring at me like that, I would gladly comply with everything she would ask of me. Was it all that was required? Simply being present for her would be enough? Even though I had no idea what she actually meant by those words, I knew at that very moment that she had won my complete and total commitment. I was aware of it not only in my head but also in every hu
I showed her into my room and did my best to maintain a steady gait while she perused the many items I had arranged there. She started by running her fingers over the edges of the CDs, then delicately removed one of them, and then returned it to its original position while I let out a breath of relief.She gave me a crooked smile and reassured me, "I won't mess anything up," as she spoke.I made an effort to laugh."Sorry," I said. "I just…There has never been anyone else in this room before.""No one?""Not outside of my family, no."She looked at me in a peculiar manner before returning her attention to her surveillance.She remarked, "You have a lot of trophies," which was a compliment. My name was traced with the tip of her finger on an MVP award I received during my freshman year. She continued to stare in all directions for a further minute before finally sitting down on the ledge of my couch. "Okay, but where exactly is the computer?"I reached into the closet and took the lapt
"Hey," Sharon called out to us. She tried to calm herself by pulling her lower lip into her mouth and looking nervously around the room. "I knocked, but you didn't answer when I called your name. I, um…Since I still had your keys and everything else, I decided to come check on you and make sure you were okay. "I'm fine," I said while lying.She cocked her brow in question.She said, "Well, I'm not," to the question.Fuck.What had transpired a few hours earlier was of much less consequence to me at this point because she was back with me, and the image of her resting her head on my chest was the thing that kept running through my mind. This is where she was. She made her way back. She continued to visit despite the fact that I had been a jerk and warned her not to come again."I'm sorry," I said. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to freak out on you," the speaker said.Sharon's lips curved into a wry smile, but her eyes retained their sad expression throughout the exchange."I'm sorry, too
Even for Ron Jones, there was nothing really fascinating that transpired. Simply the fact that he was a member of the council and had two daughters, both of whom were adults. I did not know my way around town other than how to get to the shopping mall, but at least I was able to obtain an address. As I previously stated, the citizens of the town did not have a favorable opinion of the Phanuel's, which is why I avoided the town as much as possible. My father was of the opinion that I should not become involved in political matters and should instead let him handle all interactions with political figures. However, it was the extent of his involvement with me in soccer-related activities. There were occasions when he would bring me along to rub the soccer stuff in their faces. When I had gone out with him a few times, it was abundantly clear that we were not welcome at the social events we had attended.Obviously, it could have been because I had raped one of the alderman's daughters in
I wasn't an idiot at all. I'd watched shows that aired after school. I understood that a lot of sh*t about my life was messed up: my mother had passed away, my father had to cope with the challenges of being a single parent, and I had no real knowledge about what a connection between a man and a woman was meant to be beyond putting tab A into slot B. However, I did know that a lot of sh*t about my life was messed up. When everything was said and done, I was aware that my father should not have punched me in the face.And I was aware that he was aware of it as well.When I was fifteen years old and desired to attend an all-night party at the beach, the only other time I had ever used his remorse as a weapon against him was. He refused to let me go because I had a workout scheduled for the next day, so I moped around until he eventually lost it. Then I proceeded to tell him that I was meant to go the weekend before, but I had been unable to do so.I couldn't go out in public because I h
EPILOGUE "Oh, come on! You can do it! You can do it!I did a half-jog down the side of the field while yelling at the seven first graders who were running up and down the pitch in a tiny clustered shape. It looked like the ball was the queen bee, and the kids were the worker bees. It made no difference which position they were meant to be in because in the end, they were all within three feet of each other."Spread yourselves out!""Stay on your side!" is a command.“Jonathan! You're on defense! Get back!"Jonathan Walsh did not stop chasing after the ball until he noticed his mother standing on the sidelines with his younger sister and a pouch of Capri Sun. Jonathan was surprised to see his mother in that position. He came to a stop directly in front of her."Do you have any juices available?"Maria greeted the youngster with the words, "Here you go, sweetie," as she passed the child a bag containing sugar water. While he was there, the opposing team went right past him and scored a
That evening, I sketched a drawing of Sharon's hand, depicting the ring that she was wearing on her ring finger. She admitted that the tears she shed were happy tears, but it was still enough to make her cry. I was the one who held her, and we both came to the conclusion that we would wait until after we had graduated before we actually did the deed.Words from Shakespeare that I had never pondered before found their way into my head: "When this ring parts from this finger, then parts life from hence." [Shakespeare] "When this ring parts from this finger, then parts life from hence." Simply having the awareness that it was present made a world of a difference to me.At this point, I am willing to hold off."Are you okay?""No," I answered. I laughed, but it sounded more apprehensive than happy and there wasn't much delight in the sound. "Is it absolutely necessary for me to be here?"Gardner nodded his head in agreement as he stated, "It's rather customary." They aren't just going to
Once more, he turned his eyes to look at me, and the space between his thick, dark brows was tightly knit together."I already missed so much of your life," he whispered to her. "I'm sorry." "I don't want to miss out on anything else."I was completely at a loss for words regarding my response. When I was trying to think of something that my dad, Lou, had ever done that was even remotely comparable to this, thoughts of him kept popping into my head. Despite the fact that he had repeatedly brought to my attention the extent of the things he had given up for me, nothing could even come close to competing with what he had done.I gave in and said, "That's not something you have to do."His response was, "I know I don't have to," and he was right. When he saw that I was sitting on the opposite side of the bed, he got up and walked around to that side. Before continuing, he sat down next to me and resumed his conversation. "Williams, I am interested in doing this. I long to be in physical
I responded with, "Bullshit," "I'm going to walk again—Danielle even predicted I would. Even though it will probably be another few weeks until I walk, I will walk. I won't be able to play again... at least not to the same level as before. I am aware of that. I have come to terms with it.""I know you say that," she remarked as she walked back over to the bed and clasped my hand in hers. "but I also know that it still has to get you down."I shrugged."Occasionally," I was honest enough to say. "However, I am also aware that despite what my father has always said, it is not the entirety of my existence. I really hope that I'll be able to...I don't know, at the very least I should run around and kick a ball again at some point in the future, but if I don't, I'll just have to learn to live with it. Perhaps I'll try my hand at coaching or something. You wouldn't be in my life if I weren't the way that I am. When compared to that, losing at soccer is a pretty fucking tiny setback.Sharon
"This is complete and utter hogwash!"When I was in that situation, I would have given almost anything to be able to get out of my chair and punch a hole in the wall that separated me from Justin's office in the rehabilitation center where we were both working. I did nothing but sit there with my hands clenched into fists and pressed on my eyes instead.My resentment for Lou, my father, surfaced from deep within me, as it had been doing so frequently in recent days, and poured out in the form of tears.It was the worst thing ever.I looked over at Justin, who was seated in the chair directly across from me. He had leaned back in the chair, which caused the front legs of the chair to raise up off the floor a little bit. When we chatted, he never had a notebook, a clipboard, or anything else with him, so I always wondered a little bit if he just recalled everything or if he wrote it down afterward. He never had anything with him when we talked.There were times when I, too, despised him
“Yeah.” When I looked up at him, I noticed that he was smiling for the very first time since I had met him for lunch."Thanks, Williams," was the response he gave.My response was, "You're welcome," and I meant it. “So, um, what should I call you?”His forehead wrinkled up in concentration."Um, what do you want to call me?" "Whatever you want.""I don't know," I confessed to myself. "I have always referred to Lou as Dad. I really don't want to refer to anyone else by that name.""I'm not so sure I'd be completely comfortable with that, either," he said. "I'm not so sure I'd be completely comfortable with that."I remarked to him, "I've just been calling you Gardner in my head," and he laughed.He let out a laugh."Since I've been playing in the band, I can't say that anyone has really called me that, but if they did, I wouldn't mind.""Cool," I said. I extended my hand and we exchanged handshakes. "Gardner it is."Soon after that, I had pretty well had it with sitting in the fucking
I did nothing but sit there as a busboy cleaned up the shattered glass and a server attempted to remove all of the water that had accumulated on the table. I didn't know what to make of the situation, and it made me anxious. The toes on my right foot continued to twitch, as they had previously done on occasion. Danielle explained to me that it was only a habitual response. In spite of the fact that she claimed it to be a positive omen, the event drove me completely insane. It was impossible for me to make it stop.My…father…Dad…Williams…I was at a loss as to how to properly address him or even think about him. Within my head, I had recently begun referring to him as Gardner. That appeared to be working about as well as anything else could have. Gardner was also just sitting there, but he had his hands balled up into fists, and he had hardly no food left on his sandwich. He was completely silent up until the moment the server walked away.“How?” When he spoke, though, it was in a raspy
"No," he responded. "I don't believe that to be the case, at least. She stated that it was imperative that she do it once more. I simply could not...fuck...I had such a hard time recalling her name that it was embarrassing! However, there she was, insisting that I was the only one for her, and...and...shit!I was startled when he slapped his hand down on the table with such force. He leaned in close to himself and rubbed the backs of his hands in front of his eyes."You have my utmost respect. She shared with me how much she admired my work and that she had seen each and every one of my Hamlet performances when I was playing the title role. Even though she thought the band's music was terrible, all she cared about was seeing me. I was completely at a loss for what to do. She had traveled all the way from the western shore just to discover that she had no method of getting home. I invited her to remain with me, but she was only here for a few weeks. I should have known things wouldn't
"You want me to come in?" I asked. When Sharon inquired. "I can just wait in the lobby or something," she said. "I have no problem with that.""It shouldn't take long," I remarked to myself. I think it would be easier for me if you could simply, I don't know...hang out here for a while? I could give you a call if it appears that the process is going to take longer than expected.As she examined me, Sharon's eyes become somewhat constricted at one point."All right," she murmured in response. "You can find me in the car.""Thanks," I said. I made an effort to grin at her, but I just couldn't muster the enthusiasm for it. I had to roll quite a distance away from the entrance on one side in order to access the wheelchair ramp, and then I had to push myself quite hard in order to make the angle. I had not yet gotten acclimated to climbing steep slopes, therefore doing so was not simple for me. When I arrived to the door, there was one of those buttons that you could push to make the door