“ Emma, are you coming? » I jump and nod, my mind in shambles at Charlotte's words. They were together last night. I don't have to worry about it, it's not like I have all the rights to Michaël or he belongs to me. But it shocked me to find out that Michaël lied to me and spent the evening with Charlotte when he knew that I wanted us to stay together. What am I saying now? He doesn't owe me anything, he doesn't have to tell me what else he's doing. Even if he went to pick up Mira and then decided to spend the evening with Charlotte, that's none of my business. He does what he wants and with whom he wants, it's not like he has to answer to me. But no matter how much I tell it to myself, why does it hurt so much? It not only hurts me it breaks my heart little by little to the point that I want to cry. Yet I don't have the right, Michaël and I are only friends and I promised myself not to be an obstacle in his love life so if he got closer to Charlotte, I don't have the right
The lunch had gone rather well, especially since I had made new unexpected friends and all thanks to Charlotte. She was not only a beautiful person but also a good person. So many qualities in one person, it's amazing. In this high school, I met two extraordinary people, one in front of me, who opened the doors to the joy of life in society, and the other one made me discover that I was a person like the others, giving me a little more confidence in myself. The boy I fell in love with without realizing it. All of these experiences are unique and I'm sure this is just the beginning. The break is over and I can't wait to tell Michaël what happened, he will no doubt be proud of me. Charlotte asks me to wait for her in the hallway as she says goodbye to her first-grade friends one last time, and I feel proud thinking that I too have friends in a higher class than mine. I'm doing pretty well there. Charlotte comes back a few minutes later and always with her friendly smile offers
I'm hurt but I don't know why. I want to cry but the tears, despite stinging my eyes, refuse to flow. One thing is certain, I don't want to believe what Charlotte said about Michaël. He has always supported and encouraged me, and he is the last person on this earth who would think that I am incapable. When I minimized myself about looking for a job, he was the one who asked me to hang on, so no, even if it was to defend myself, Charlotte is not right. No, the reason I'm crying is purely selfish. Her way of talking to Michaël and the fact that he didn't say anything makes me think that there is something between the two and that's what hurts me. It's mean and I find myself disgusting to think that towards a person who has been so gentle with me, but I would have preferred Michael to be as usual with her. Cold and mean. Yeah, that's why I feel so bad too. I have dirty thoughts while the people around me are full of kindness. Since when did I get so nasty? So this is love? Do
So we spend the rest of the break together without really doing much. We are sitting close to each other occasionally playing a few piano notes or just lulled by our silence. It is not embarrassing but not very appropriate either but what can we do about it? On my side, I don't know what to say to him, and on his side, he seems to appreciate the silence in which we are. No need to ruin this fake peace. The bell rings announcing the start of class and Michael is about to get up when I grab his clothes. It's true I've decided to move away from him but for the moment, it's not the case yet. So I'm going to enjoy it a little more despite the shadow that hangs over my heart and obscures my thoughts. I guess that's the feeling of wanting to take what isn't yours but can't help it. I just want to spend as much time as possible with him before he gets sick of me. He quickly understands that I want him to sit down again and he does so quickly, resuming his place by my side, suddenly I
We arrived in front of the class and the teacher was already present. As usual, Michaël wanted to enter without knocking as if it were his room but I stopped him. Of course, someone has to teach this boy good manners and even if he doesn't want to, I'm going to instill them in him myself. He looks at me with questioning eyes and the only answer I give him is to knock on the classroom door when I can hear the teacher has stopped talking inside and his footsteps getting closer to the door. door. The door opened up about the language teacher and seeing that it was us, he made an embarrassed face. “So where were you? The class has already started for twenty minutes, good Michaël I can understand but you miss, I don't understand you seem very studious and..." "It's my fault, I needed her notes and taking them, we didn't see the time passing, we apologize" As soon as Michael had finished speaking, the professor had immediately closed his mouth, certainly at a loss for words. I cou
Since Michaël followed this mute Charlotte does not feel well, what the hell can he find in her? It annoys her. She came back to class and decided to divulge a little rumor of nothing at all anyway; it was not like it was going to go back to her. And everyone knows what it costs to challenge her so she is 100% sure that even if we ask, no one would denounce her. So she sits near a group of girls during the break while they were still ecstatic around Michael. “Oh did you hear? He already comes to school almost every day. “What a joy to be able to see him like this every day, I long for the moment when we will meet again in the hallway” "Ah, it must be so nice to be able to sit next to him, don't you think? » "It's true, I envy his classmates who have places next to him" "Yeah, sure, but I heard a girl is sitting next to him and she's very dangerous" " How? Charlotte is it you? » Charlotte put a hand to her lips, signaling the girls to shut up, which they quickly did. “O
I don't know why but Charlotte seemed to smile at me but I could see that this smile was forced, fake. Honestly, I can't explain the feeling, but her kindness sounded downright wrong and it sent horrible shivers down my spine. Her expression was soft yet cold and I don't know how to explain it to myself, but her look was freezing my blood. Why this oppressive feeling? Charlotte is however kind and pleasant with me. In addition, she was kind enough to introduce me to her friends so that I could integrate. So why do I feel like she hates me deep down? No, I get it, it's the gut-wrenching guilt that makes me feel like Charlotte hates me. It's true despite the love that I know she has for Michaël, love that I believe to be reciprocal, I cling to him and as a girlfriend, she must feel a little frustrated, no, angry I think. Even I will react the same way. I try to scratch my cheek but the professor clears his throat behind me and I freeze. Oh no, I forgot that I behaved like a r
The road to my work went fairly calmly, leaving me time to think about everything that happened all day. It was very weird between Charlotte who became my friend, the revelations about a probable romantic relationship between Michaël and her, and everything I felt after this discovery. I still hurt because of it. I don't know how I should take it, should I be angry, sad or just give up… I don't know what feeling should prevail in me, what is certain is that it hurts. I blew in front of me the thick mist coming out of my lips, I looked up at the sky, the snow was bad this year, and tomorrow we will already be in December, and still no snow. It's quite strange. I kept walking, arranging my coat and scarf as I sped up so I wouldn't be late. Soon I see the shop and my heart leaps with joy. After three days without being there, it feels weird to come back. I run towards the entrance and almost bump into a young woman. "Oh sorry baby, I didn't see you" I lower my face apologetica