Goddesses or 49 ½ shades of charcoal

Sexual content 5. Dee   How often does the phone ring at six in the morning on a Thursday? It was Dee. ‘Sorry to wake you, but I have a plane to catch and your message sounded important.’ She then called me a faithless fig for dropping out of her life. We chatted, I explained the circumstances, she was unimpressed, the minutes were ticking and then she came to the point. Phew! ‘So, let me get this straight. A bloke takes advantage of you in a train, you enjoyed it, and you want to see him again.’ ‘That’s about right.’ ‘Sounds like a typical male-thought-cliché to me. Walk up to him on the platform tonight and tell him you want a date. He won’t be surprised.’ ‘Can’t.’ ‘Why not.’ ‘I always had my back to him.’ ‘You mean you wouldn’t recognise him? That was a real fernfick. You’ll have to walk up and down the platform and see if anyone

Sexual content 9. Inanna Wins   How was that? Golliath   Typical bloke. Always needing praise and reinforcement. And he can’t spell his own name. I replied. It was a bit disappointing really. You more worshipped the cloth than the flesh. Try again tomorrow and be a bit more intimate – bolder. Incidentally, you have only one l in Goliath. Bluestockings The reply was not long in coming. Fuck the spelling! Have you any idea, Bluestockings, what it is like living on the edge with you, on the train home?  That was not my problem. I had worked hard enough to get it this far, to overcome my inhibitions, become as bold as Inanna.   Things were improving. I could do some work during the day as w

Sexual content 11. Knowing Tannhäuser   Nice one, Tanny. He knows nothing of my work situation. My closest work colleague – not a friend – has to be Dianne, my PA. Dee does not count. She no longer works for the company, having, I just learned, jumped ship to the bunch in Baltimore. I assume Greg had something to do with that. Perhaps they are lovers. I can’t blame him. She is the woman all women want to be. I think she could be twenty-two plus twenty-two, heel to buttock. I’m not! I didn’t provide details of my friction game that evening, nor did I intend to discuss it with a work colleague. I didn’t tell Tannhäuser that. Some things are a woman’s business. Who knows? It would be great to be able to talk to someone about what is going on inside me. Perhaps I should work on that aspect. I’ll try and involve PA in some very peripheral way in my private life. I’m sure she would appreciate m

Sexual content The hardest part was finding a fancy-dress hire shop and purchasing a mask. Dianne went during her morning tea break and sourced one. Thus, she knew it was a Tannhäuser assignation. She reported back. ‘Diary clear for the afternoon. Two customers, well pissed with me and the short notice. Mask in your bag. When are you going to tell me what it is all about?’ ‘A fair question, Dianne. It’s probably best you don’t know. Then you can tell the truth. We are meeting Saturday. I promise I’ll spill the beans. I assume he thinks Kew Gardens will provide the ambiance of the Venusberg. Not an easy task in November London. In case I’m never seen again, send the forensic team to the Marianne North Gallery.’   I’m on the train from Waterloo by 2.30, in Kew Gardens by 3.15 and wandering the picture galleries by 3.30. My mask is perfect. It is mounted on a stick for quick application and has elastic for the hands-free opt

Sexual content Felix. Felix and his saliromania. I said Felix was off limits. He says, ‘Everybody does it, why not share it?’ I decide I’ll compromise. Maybe there is another way to do Felix, but first let’s get Adolphe put to bed. Is that the right saying? Tanny, you are going to gape when I turn you into a unicorn called Adolphe. Shame we have had to settle for a goat. A goat called Adolphe. The traffic is solid. Time for a bit more research. I have to be able to impress Tanny at the critical moment. Out comes my phone. Transpires that the unicorn myths refer to a beast with one horn, which only a virgin can tame. (I don’t want to tame Tanny in any way, so my bits being tarnished with previous use shouldn’t be a problem). I read on:  Subsequently, some writers translated this into an allegory for Christ's relationship with the Virgin Mary. Pardon me? Christ had a relationship with his mother? I search the text for eluci