The sounds of the shower water running wake me out of my sleep. Ever since Theo got his own room and I haven't had to share with him, I've slept so much better. Unfortunately, my 'mom' instincts have also kicked up a notch, which includes my ability to hear what's going on just about anywhere in the house.I guess I should get up and start the day before the kids come racing in here.Quickly brushing my teeth and adjusting my ponytail that made a mess of itself overnight, I head down the hall to the staircase, the smell of coffee guiding me. You have to appreciate a man that gets up early and makes sure coffee is brewing before waking you up.As I pass the hall bathroom, I pause, putting my hand on the door. I can hear the shower running and I know it's because Santos is bathing. I want, more than anything, to join him.Sex has come up in several of our therapy sessions over the last year. It's in integral part of any relationship, but I've been too scared to let myself go. Scared of u
I hear her before I see her. Okay, that's not right. I hear the kids get excited as she walks through the room. She always greats them with a smile and kiss, even if her eyes are barely open. I love that about her.Stirring the scoop of hot chocolate I just dumped into her coffee, I turn around. The sight at the island makes me smile.Mari and Lina are both sitting on stools, head resting on their arms, still not quite awake. My two girls are not morning people."Coffee?" I slide it her direction, and she immediately grabs it and takes a sip."Mmm. Thank you." She sips again and shifts on her seat. "I love a man that knows how to doctor my coffee in the morning."I lean over and give her a quick kiss before pulling out the fancy waffle maker we got for Christmas."Mickey Mouse waffles?" she asks with a smile."Lina has been talking about them for days. Right, Lina?""Hrmph." I chuckle. It's the only answer we're going to get from her for at least ten more minutes. "You know tonight's
"Mari?" I race into the room and drop down beside her. "Mari, are you okay? Are you hurt?" I look over her frantically, trying to see if she's injured."I can't believe this is happening again," she whispers."What? What's happening again?" She refuses to make eye contact with me, which causes me to panic even more."After everything we went through," she cries. "After everything we've tried to rebuild, it's happening again. I'm so stupid!" she yells and throw my shirt at me.I'm so confused. "What are you talking about? What happened?""This happened!" She grabs the shirt back out of my hands and shows me the bottom of it. It's crusty and stiff. I feel my face heat up."Um, yeah." I rub the back of my neck, embarrassed that this conversation is about to take place. "That's not what it looks like."Her eyes narrow as she glares. "I was married to you for a long time, Santos. I know what your fucking semen looks like." She shoots up off the floor and begins pacing. "Did you go to anoth
The conversation in the laundry room is never far from my thoughts. All day long, no matter what we're doing, I keep coming back to it.He's having wet dreams.He's having wet dreams about me. I try really hard to stifle the smile that keeps trying to come out. But he would know how giddy I am if I smile that big, because no one smiles while cleaning a kitchen. Especially when you have a three-year-old who likes to paint with peanut butter on the cabinets. Yeah, Theo is proving to be a more ornery child than we first thought.But not even peanut butter paintings can spoil this mood. Santos has always made it clear that his infidelities were not because of me. It had nothing to do with my body. It had nothing to do with my personality. It was all him and his own insecurities, combined with a bunch of other things he had to learn to manage. But in the back of my mind, I've never been able to shake the question - am I enough?Finding out he's not only having sex dreams, but wet dreams a
I take a bite of my own food as I contemplate my answer. "I'm not asking because I'm in an emotional, girly, please-let-him-give-me-the-right-answer kind of mood. Since we're having this weird conversation anyway, I'm just genuinely curious."He takes his time, swallowing, putting down his utensils, wiping his mouth with his napkin. Finally, he leans forward, elbows on the table. "The last time I had sex was the last night we were together. At the conference."My eyebrows shoot up. "Redesigning Your Marriage conference?"He nods. "But that's before we were even divorced.""I know.""That was almost two years ago.""I know that, too."That's not the answer I expected. I thought he would have at least had a fling or two after the divorced was finalized."That doesn't mean I've been a saint, Mari." I see guilt in his eyes. It makes me sad for him, to see him disappointed in himself. I say nothing, just take small bites of my food as I wait for him to continue."It was only one time. But…
I blink at her once.Twice.Three times.I'm not sure I heard her correctly."I… what?"She smiles at me. "Santos, I love you. But I want our sex life to be different this time. I want to be adventurous and playful and fun. Yes, there are times I want you to make love to me. But there are times I want you to fuck me, too. I want to count how many orgasms you can give me and see if I can ever make you come twice in a row."My eyes quirk up. I didn't even know that was possible.She shrugs playfully. "I've been reading up on a few things." She turns around and saunters over to the couch, turning to look over her shoulder. "So I'm just gonna come over here while you decide. The adventure either starts right here, right now. Or we wait. Until you're ready to give me what I want."My eyes drink her in as she bends over the couch, still in her heels and garters, ass facing me. Her perfect pink pussy is swollen and wet. She's ready. For me. It suddenly hits me that her naked ass is waiting f
"You guys look happy," Justin says as he closes the door behind us. He's been our therapist for a couple of years, so he can read our moods pretty well.Santos sniggers. "We are very, very happy."My face heats up as I take my normal seat on the couch. "Really?" Justin plops down on his overstuffed chair. He's not a normal, stuffy therapist. He's relaxed, which normally makes me relaxed. Not today, however. Today, the topic of sex is going to come up and that makes me nervous. "Sounds like something good happened."Santos takes my hand in his and looks at me, a loving smile on his face. "Yeah. Something good happened."And there it is. My face is flaming since we're having this conversation in front of Justin. He's our therapist and I shouldn't be embarrassed for him to know that we've rekindled our sex life. But somehow it feels more intimate than when we were married. Maybe because the act itself is what caused the demise of our marriage in the first place. So to get back to this pl
Santos chuckles and puts his arm around me while I bury my face in his neck. "Babe. Don't be embarrassed. You were right to force the issue. It was great.""I'm gonna stop you right here for a minute," Justin interjects. I look up at him. "Mari, a long time ago you and I had a conversation about how frustrated you were because Santos refused to get adventurous at all and you were tired of being treated like a fragile object. Do you remember that?""Yeah. I remember you saying it was an argument you and your wife have sometimes."He smiles. "It's true. As men, we aren't always that great at being in tune with our partners' wants and needs. Sometimes you have to spell it out for us.""She definitely spelled it out for me," Santos interjects. "Is that true?" Justin asks me.I nod. "Good for you. You spent a lot of years passively doing what Santos wanted, so to hear that you took charge of what you wanted, of what you felt was right for your relationship, really shows your own personal
Her eyebrows crinkle in question. "Why are you thanking me?"Releasing her hand, I brush her hair out of her face and stroke her cheek. "I was so sure I had everything. I was cocky and arrogant and took it all for granted." I stop to clear my throat as the emotions sets in. "You jarred me out of my comfort zone and forced me to see myself for what I really was.""Santos…" she pleads."No," I interrupt. "Let me finish. I thought I was the strong one in our relationship, the backbone. But I wasn't. You were the strong one. You were always the strong one. And I took it for granted."I draw her closer to me and we press our foreheads together. "You forced me to see the reality of what I was doing and who I was. I didn't like what I saw, but I needed to see it. So thank you. Thank you for forcing me to be honest. With you. And with myself. I never want to go back to that place again. I never want to be that guy."Pulling away, I wipe the tears from Mari's cheeks while she wipes away mine.
I've been staring at the ceiling for I don't know how long. All I know is that I haven't been this comfortable in, probably ever.I'm in bed on my back, one arm behind my head, and a very naked Mari snuggled up on me, head nuzzled into that place between my shoulder and neck, her arm over my chest, our legs intertwined. It's the post-coital position I never thought I'd experience again. Yet here I am, drawing circles on her lower back as she drifts in and out of consciousness.Me, though, I'm wide awake. Sated, but awake. And I can't stop thinking about what Mari said earlier about being content.People always talk about chasing their happiness, but what if that's the root of most relationship problems? What if that's been part of my problem? What if there is so much pressure to be happy, when happiness isn't something you can be every minute of every day anyway? What if being content, with lots of sprinkles of happiness, as Mari describes it, is actually a healthier, more realistic go
Santos chuckles and puts his arm around me while I bury my face in his neck. "Babe. Don't be embarrassed. You were right to force the issue. It was great.""I'm gonna stop you right here for a minute," Justin interjects. I look up at him. "Mari, a long time ago you and I had a conversation about how frustrated you were because Santos refused to get adventurous at all and you were tired of being treated like a fragile object. Do you remember that?""Yeah. I remember you saying it was an argument you and your wife have sometimes."He smiles. "It's true. As men, we aren't always that great at being in tune with our partners' wants and needs. Sometimes you have to spell it out for us.""She definitely spelled it out for me," Santos interjects. "Is that true?" Justin asks me.I nod. "Good for you. You spent a lot of years passively doing what Santos wanted, so to hear that you took charge of what you wanted, of what you felt was right for your relationship, really shows your own personal
"You guys look happy," Justin says as he closes the door behind us. He's been our therapist for a couple of years, so he can read our moods pretty well.Santos sniggers. "We are very, very happy."My face heats up as I take my normal seat on the couch. "Really?" Justin plops down on his overstuffed chair. He's not a normal, stuffy therapist. He's relaxed, which normally makes me relaxed. Not today, however. Today, the topic of sex is going to come up and that makes me nervous. "Sounds like something good happened."Santos takes my hand in his and looks at me, a loving smile on his face. "Yeah. Something good happened."And there it is. My face is flaming since we're having this conversation in front of Justin. He's our therapist and I shouldn't be embarrassed for him to know that we've rekindled our sex life. But somehow it feels more intimate than when we were married. Maybe because the act itself is what caused the demise of our marriage in the first place. So to get back to this pl
I blink at her once.Twice.Three times.I'm not sure I heard her correctly."I… what?"She smiles at me. "Santos, I love you. But I want our sex life to be different this time. I want to be adventurous and playful and fun. Yes, there are times I want you to make love to me. But there are times I want you to fuck me, too. I want to count how many orgasms you can give me and see if I can ever make you come twice in a row."My eyes quirk up. I didn't even know that was possible.She shrugs playfully. "I've been reading up on a few things." She turns around and saunters over to the couch, turning to look over her shoulder. "So I'm just gonna come over here while you decide. The adventure either starts right here, right now. Or we wait. Until you're ready to give me what I want."My eyes drink her in as she bends over the couch, still in her heels and garters, ass facing me. Her perfect pink pussy is swollen and wet. She's ready. For me. It suddenly hits me that her naked ass is waiting f
I take a bite of my own food as I contemplate my answer. "I'm not asking because I'm in an emotional, girly, please-let-him-give-me-the-right-answer kind of mood. Since we're having this weird conversation anyway, I'm just genuinely curious."He takes his time, swallowing, putting down his utensils, wiping his mouth with his napkin. Finally, he leans forward, elbows on the table. "The last time I had sex was the last night we were together. At the conference."My eyebrows shoot up. "Redesigning Your Marriage conference?"He nods. "But that's before we were even divorced.""I know.""That was almost two years ago.""I know that, too."That's not the answer I expected. I thought he would have at least had a fling or two after the divorced was finalized."That doesn't mean I've been a saint, Mari." I see guilt in his eyes. It makes me sad for him, to see him disappointed in himself. I say nothing, just take small bites of my food as I wait for him to continue."It was only one time. But…
The conversation in the laundry room is never far from my thoughts. All day long, no matter what we're doing, I keep coming back to it.He's having wet dreams.He's having wet dreams about me. I try really hard to stifle the smile that keeps trying to come out. But he would know how giddy I am if I smile that big, because no one smiles while cleaning a kitchen. Especially when you have a three-year-old who likes to paint with peanut butter on the cabinets. Yeah, Theo is proving to be a more ornery child than we first thought.But not even peanut butter paintings can spoil this mood. Santos has always made it clear that his infidelities were not because of me. It had nothing to do with my body. It had nothing to do with my personality. It was all him and his own insecurities, combined with a bunch of other things he had to learn to manage. But in the back of my mind, I've never been able to shake the question - am I enough?Finding out he's not only having sex dreams, but wet dreams a
"Mari?" I race into the room and drop down beside her. "Mari, are you okay? Are you hurt?" I look over her frantically, trying to see if she's injured."I can't believe this is happening again," she whispers."What? What's happening again?" She refuses to make eye contact with me, which causes me to panic even more."After everything we went through," she cries. "After everything we've tried to rebuild, it's happening again. I'm so stupid!" she yells and throw my shirt at me.I'm so confused. "What are you talking about? What happened?""This happened!" She grabs the shirt back out of my hands and shows me the bottom of it. It's crusty and stiff. I feel my face heat up."Um, yeah." I rub the back of my neck, embarrassed that this conversation is about to take place. "That's not what it looks like."Her eyes narrow as she glares. "I was married to you for a long time, Santos. I know what your fucking semen looks like." She shoots up off the floor and begins pacing. "Did you go to anoth
I hear her before I see her. Okay, that's not right. I hear the kids get excited as she walks through the room. She always greats them with a smile and kiss, even if her eyes are barely open. I love that about her.Stirring the scoop of hot chocolate I just dumped into her coffee, I turn around. The sight at the island makes me smile.Mari and Lina are both sitting on stools, head resting on their arms, still not quite awake. My two girls are not morning people."Coffee?" I slide it her direction, and she immediately grabs it and takes a sip."Mmm. Thank you." She sips again and shifts on her seat. "I love a man that knows how to doctor my coffee in the morning."I lean over and give her a quick kiss before pulling out the fancy waffle maker we got for Christmas."Mickey Mouse waffles?" she asks with a smile."Lina has been talking about them for days. Right, Lina?""Hrmph." I chuckle. It's the only answer we're going to get from her for at least ten more minutes. "You know tonight's