An obnoxious driver cut me off once we were moving, and I cursed like the man could hear me, successfully derailing the conversation at hand...even if it was unintentional. Collier laughed at my outburst and started chatting about different cars we'd seen. The tension I was afraid would consume us washed away as quickly as I'd been cut off. As he yammered on about anything that crossed his mind, my thoughts wavered between the Collier I knew as Beck's brother and the one I found myself increasingly attracted to. He was fast becoming a friend I wasn't willing to sacrifice to the dating game, but I worried about my ability to set those feelings aside in favor of something platonic. I'd never had a male friend and hadn't wanted any, but the more thought I put into this, the more tense I became. "Giselle?" We'd stopped in front of my house, and Collier leaned into the car while standing in the driveway. I remained lost in thought until he said my name louder."Giselle? You okay?" C
Thursday morning, sitting at my desk while applying my latest OPI color, "The Berry Thought of You," my phone buzzed with a message. Once again, I was tasked with holding down the vacant fort at the office with nothing to do. Texting with wet nails was tough to do as I attempted to press the letters with the pads of my fingers without touching the tips to the glass. Roma: Friday night at 8 pm. Bar None. Stella said to tell you to invite Roxie and Ronnie.I hadn't heard from Roma since the car show and had hoped she'd forgotten about hanging out. It wasn't that I didn't like her; I didn't want Collier finding out we'd done something and think it was more than friendship. But I liked Roma and knew we'd have a good time. My dating life had gone to shit, there wasn't a man or woman interested in me romantically, and I had nothing better to do.Me: Sounds good. Are we meeting there?Roma: Yep. See you then.I sent texts to Roxie and Ronnie who both jumped at the chance at a night
The two of them bickered back and forth about the apparent cause of Ronnie's stay with Holden and Janelle. Twelve-hundred-dollar Christian Louboutin over-the-knee leather boots. V was lucky it had only taken Trish three days. "You didn't seem to mind when I showed up to bed with nothing else on but those boots you've continuously bitched about." Ronnie never knew when to shut up."That was before I realized we could have made a house payment instead of adorning your feet.""It's not like we can't afford them. Why do you care?" I could hear the pout in Ronnie's voice from the back seat."Because we're never going to have a baby if you don't stop spending money!"Whoa. That was not something I'd expected to hear. Ronnie and I hadn't talked the way we normally did in recent weeks, but this revelation warranted a phone call-she should have made time."I need to enjoy them while I can. Do you have any idea what pregnancy will do to my body? Knee-high leather boots will find the
When I glanced over my shoulder, a good-looking guy stepped back but didn't remove his fingers from my hip. I took the drink from the bartender after paying him and returned my attention to the man waiting for my reply. My girlfriends hadn't noticed my absence, and I wasn't interested in whatever they had going on, so I gave him a nod and followed him to the dance floor with my vodka in hand. The upbeat music thumped around us, and people clogged the small space, but the man who remained nameless found a spot in the center of the crowd and created a nook for us to move. I tossed back the remains of my liquor and placed the empty glass on a tray when a waitress passed by. The instant my hands were free, his found the belt loops in my jeans and snagged them with his thumbs. He pulled me closer, and the only thing I could grab onto were his thick upper arms. I could feel the muscles contract beneath his shirt, and the definition was obvious even through the fabric. Although he was attr
Even now, as close as we were, he hadn't crossed a line. He'd definitely gotten into the moves, and I was so far in I was drowning, but his hands didn't roam. He kept one forearm securely across my pelvic bone and the other across my clavicle. Every once in a while, I'd hear him sing a line or two of the lyrics and wonder if he'd chosen those particular words to hum in my ear, or if they'd just hit him at the moment he'd wanted to voice them. The longer we stayed together like this, the more screwed up my head became. I questioned every tick of his finger, flex of his arm, swivel of his hip. Each word he said, song he sang, I wanted to know if any of them were for me. But I couldn't ask. I couldn't turn around and press my front to his. My longing to look him in the eyes and see what I felt reflecting back at me, would never happen. I'd perpetrated a lie, and he was going to be my punishment. Because either way, it wouldn't end well. I'd never told him I was into women, his siste
The next morning, as promised, Ronnie sat on my couch when I came back in from my morning run. I didn't want to talk about this. I wasn't interested in my bestie's thoughts on how I'd fucked up miserably. And I sure as hell didn't want to eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's, which I couldn't refuse because it would be rude after I just pounded five miles of pavement.She waved me off the instant she saw me. "Go shower so I don't have to smell you. I'll be here when you're done."There was no point in spending vast amounts of time on my hair or actually doing anything with my face. I had no intention of leaving the house today. Last night had been embarrassing enough, and I doubted I could ever face Collier again. And I'm sure my friends thought I was off my rocker. But part of me was pissed, too.I flopped down on the couch next to my lifelong friend and rolled my eyes at her boobs popping out of her push-up bra and tank top this early in the morning. "Are you leaving here to go work a
When I didn't hear from Collier the following day, I assumed I'd completely screwed everything up. My inability to keep my hands to myself and my lips away from his had cost me more than I wanted to consider. Over the last few months, West had become my friend. We talked about anything and everything because everything was safe when there was no possibility for anything that wasn't platonic. Now, because of a lapse in judgment on a dance floor with too much alcohol in my blood stream, I may have lost that. But my embarrassment was so great that I hadn't had the courage to reach out to him Saturday and used Ronnie being here as my excuse not to. The longer I went without talking to him or texting him, the greater my anxiety became. I needed to be the one to reach out, apologize. But I hadn't had the courage to do it because I was humiliated. And when he contacted me on Sunday, I was frozen with fear and unable to respond. Collier: You ever going to talk to me again? What happened
Shocked, I stared up into the perfume lady's soft gaze of pity. Yeah, it was pathetic, but she'd been nice enough not to leave me stuck here for hours. My knees wouldn't have held out to the squat much longer. Hunched over, I parted the wall of fabric to step through and gave her a meek glance. "Thanks. I know it's pretty pitiful."She shrugged and kindly said, "We've all been there." I straightened my clothes as I stood, feeling foolish when I traced the perimeter of the store for witnesses. I then, less than gracefully, excused myself after thanking her for her help. I almost returned the purse before I left since my experience had been thwarted and thus so had the high I needed to get from it.Just as I pushed on the heavy, glass doors to leave, my cell rang. I dug it out from under the mounds of crap in my overloaded purse and answered it just before it went to voicemail."Hey, V. What's up?""Just wanted to make sure you hadn't flushed yourself yet.""I should have, i
We spent seven glorious days in Maui before returning home to our lives that were forever changed. When I'd gone to work the following week, my boss had made a wise crack about my being off the market and getting married because I was pregnant. Maybe I shouldn't have told Collier, but in hindsight, it was the best thing I ever did. He insisted I quit and that led me to be a stay-at-home wife until the baby came. I spent time helping Collier out at work, menial tasks like putting packages together or stuffing envelopes, but it gave me something to do, and I got to see my sister-in-law all the time-and my husband wasn't a bad consolation prize, either. Six months later, we welcomed Garrett Collier West to the world. I didn't have a clue what to do with a little boy and was completely lost with the parts that made him different from me. But together, Collier and I figured it out-even if it took us a couple years. Our friends adored him, and as the only child in the group, he was spoiled
It might have been an hour or thirty seconds, I didn't know, but when the song changed, my feet moved. I didn't know where I was going or what I was doing, I just knew that silver runner ended at my future. A cloud hid the sun perfectly, still providing a gorgeous day but shielding our guests from the heat of midday. I couldn't take in all the details in the short walk, but our friends were all gathered near the pergola to the side of the pool. There were so many flowers I wondered where they'd all come from, but then Collier came into view. And nothing else mattered. He stood in a black tux at the side of the minister with his hands clasped in front of him. The smile on his face radiated happiness, and I almost took off running to meet him, but I thought he might frown upon my wrapping my legs around his waist in a full-body hug at this particular moment. Everything about him was sheer perfection for me. I'd waited over thirty-nine years, but the man of my dreams had been well wor
Collier had been all kinds of secretive Friday night, and Saturday morning, he shipped me off to a spa for a couple of hours of pampering. I took my new bottle of OPI with me and enjoyed the royal treatment-manicure, pedicure, massage, hair, and makeup. As the girl finished setting my face with some mist to hold her work in place, my nerves set in. Or maybe it was morning sickness. Whichever it was sent me flying to the bathroom to empty my stomach. I wiped my mouth and dreaded looking in the mirror for fear of what my retching had done to the paint on my face. To my surprise, every bit of it held, including the mascara when my eyes watered. The only thing that needed a touch-up was my lips. This girl was good.She fixed my lipstick and seemed as pleased as I was. I'd opted for a more casual up-do and added fresh flowers to make it special. But with the natural appearance of my makeup, the high ponytail with large curls fit perfectly. I hadn't wanted to break the bank on a dress I'd w
"Hey, whore." Ronnie had been trying to catch me by phone for days, but I'd successfully managed to avoid her and pacified her with the occasional text message. She'd know instantly if I lied to her, and I couldn't risk her asking questions. She'd finally caught me and showed up just before lunch on Friday."What are you doing here?" Shit. Shit. Shit. I couldn't keep anything from her. She'd know just by looking at me that I didn't have just one secret but two. That was the problem with having a friend who knows you better than you knew yourself. And then there was the whole eye twitch thing she swore by."Playing detective." Her smirk reached her eyes, and they glimmered with mischief."I don't know what you're talking about." I tried to play coy, act like I had no clue what she referred to. At this rate, she'd have every bit of intel I had to offer in a matter of minutes. It was a good thing no one had ever given me a key to Fort Knox."What are you hiding, Gizzy?""I hate you."
Oddly, I hadn't been the one who'd had a difficult time keeping her mouth shut. Collier almost slipped just about every time we were with any of our friends. I'd made him agree not to share our news until after I'd made it past the first trimester. I was older, and there were more risks. I didn't want to have to break that news, too, so he had agreed to wait. Except that every time I turned around, he was gawking at a dad with a baby, or commenting on how cute a family was. And when he cut off pool time, our friends thought he was certifiably insane."They're going to know something's up...or think we hate them, West. You can't cut off the pool. They all live in our backyard.""Giselle, you said yourself that Ronnie has suspicions, and she and I both commented on the fact your body had already changed some. I know you don't want to hear this, but your tummy is a little rounded. It wouldn't be noticeable except you're normally flat as can be. You have better abs than most men I know.
Twenty-six. That's the number of pregnancy tests I took the following day when I called in to work after Collier left for the office. After three trips to three different drug stores to buy other brands, I'd ended up with twenty-six inaccurate sticks lying on our bathroom counter. Each arranged in neat rows and columns, and all screaming at me. I hurt for women who bought into the lies these companies propagated to hopeful mothers-to-be. There should be laws against faulty products.I rubbed my temples and closed my eyes, not wanting to acknowledge what was before me. Ignorance was bliss, and I could lie to myself for ages...or at least nine months until the pains of labor started. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." In my haste to repeat a string of explicative words under my breath, I apparently tuned out the house around me. And the man who'd entered our bedroom."Babe?"The sound of Collier's voice brought me out of my chant, and I waited to see if I'd really heard him or if it was my imagina
The driver remained silent, didn't leave me with instructions on what to do, nothing. He abandoned me amongst the headstones and mausoleums. Collier hadn't turned around, but I was sure he'd heard the limo pull up. There wasn't a car around, and the only sounds in the air were the birds chirping. The grass went on for miles, a thick, lush green I thought would be a perfect OPI color for St. Patrick's Day, and flowers dotted the markers with splashes of life. I took a deep breath and started on the path to Collier hoping I was meant to join him. My heels marked the walkway in time with my steps, and I worried foolishly about how loud I was being. It wasn't like I was in a library, these people were dead-the sound of my footsteps wasn't going to bother them. Just before I reached his side, Collier turned around.My breath hitched at the sight of the man I loved in a tuxedo holding two red roses in one hand and the other stuffed in his pocket. I had not a clue what was going on or why
The next day, I went back to my mind-numbing job where I spent another eight hours staring at the walls hoping someone would come in to entertain me...or possibly shoot me. When that hadn't happened by ten, I started messaging my friends, none of which responded because they all had jobs that required them to actually do something. I surfed Facebook but quickly grew tired of that as well. A girl can only read so many posts about politics and how great other peoples' lives are before wanting to clobber herself in the head with the heel of her shoe. I tried never to bother Collier at work. I still wasn't sure I fully understood what he did, but I knew he ran a huge company that required his attention, and if I sent him a text, he would stop to respond.Me: Are you busy?Collier: Never too busy for you, Elle. What's up?Me: I'm bored.Collier: Haha. I can hear your whining from here. Me: Not funny.Collier: Babe, why don't you find a job you actually enjoy? I didn't know how to s
I stole her flip-flops to keep from scalding my feet again-only Ronnie would have heels on pool shoes. Collier had gotten in the water, and his skin glistened when he broke the surface. Once I reached the steps, I kicked off my borrowed shoes and stepped into the shallow end. The cool feel of the water against my skin was refreshing and washed away the unease the discussion of money brought. I took a deep breath before going under and swimming between West and the wall. He stepped back to allow me room to maneuver my body into the narrow space, and his smile welcomed me when I stood in front of him."Hey, babe."The feel of his chest beneath my fingers spurred me on. His nipples were firm and masculine as my palms grazed them. While my touch continued north, he snaked his arms around my lower back. The moment I laced my fingers behind his neck, he took my mouth with his in an inappropriate kiss. My legs crawled up his like a monkey on a tree before settling around his waist."Get a