PROLOGUE
New York City
John Ashton poured three fingers of whiskey into two glasses and sat the decanter down on the side table. Sunlight streamed through a sliver of lace curtains that broke the deep red velvet drapes symmetrically, the only source of natural light that found its way into his study, illuminating a jagged river across the cherry floor and the side of a mahogany bookshelf as it found the face of his longtime friend, Henry Westmoreland, who reposed in a heavily cushioned chair that matched the curtains almost exactly.
“Thank you,” Henry nodded as he took the glass, giving it a sip before nestling it between his hands on top of a crossed knee.
John nodded and then found a seat across from his former Oxford roommate. “How was your trip?” he asked, taking a drink and then setting his glass on an end table. “Nothing exciting I hope?”
“Heavens, no,” Henry laughed. “I can’t imagine anything exciting happening on a trip across the Atlantic. Fairly uneventful.”
While John could think of several potentially exciting occurrences, he chose not to list them since his friend would be heading back soon. No need to plant thoughts of mechanical failures or floundering vessels. “Your meetings went well?”
“Oh, yes,” Henry nodded, smoothing out his trousers over his knee. “The factory has certainly taken off these past two years. It seems I’ve finally found a way to get my textiles to the markets successfully.”
John nodded. “That’s wonderful news. You always knew how to make a quality product. Perhaps this will be just what you need to make Westmoreland Textiles a household name on both sides of the Atlantic.”
“Indeed,” Henry agreed. At thirty-five, his sandy blond hair should not have been thinning. Yet, when he ran his hand through, John could see much of his scalp. He hadn’t seen Henry in almost a year, but he certainly looked different. Thin—gaunt almost. His skin was pale and though he wore a suit, it was apparent he had several lesions near the cuff of his jacket on each arm. “How are things for you?”
It took John a moment to realize he’d been asked a question; he was so distracted by his guest’s appearance. “Oh, we are doing well,” he finally managed. “Pamela and I are very happy with business. Steel is the future of this country.”
Henry coughed rather violently, drawing out a handkerchief as he did so. After a moment, he took a deep breath, and returning the handkerchief to his pocket, he said, “Good. That’s good to hear. I really thought you were getting in at the right time, what with the building boom and the expansion of the transportation system.”
John’s forehead was still puckered, but he overlooked the spell for a moment. He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his own dark brown hair, absently weighing the thickness. “Yes, timing is everything, as you know. If you hadn’t made that loan to me a few years ago, I’m not sure….”
“Oh, no need to bring that up,” Henry interrupted. “That’s ancient history. I was happy to help a friend.” He was gazing at John poignantly, and the New Yorker froze in his friend’s stare, noticing the glassy look in his eyes. “You’ve always been a good friend, John.”
“Henry,” John began, leaning forward in his seat with his elbows pressed into his knees, “is something the matter? You don’t seem quite yourself.”
Henry took a sip of his whiskey before inhaling deeply, holding his breath for a second and then releasing it slowly. Finally, he said, “I’m dying.”
John couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He gaped at Henry in shock for a long moment before he stammered, “I’m so… sorry. What is it? What have the doctors said?”
Nervous laughter escaped Henry as he shrugged. “It’s all right. We are all dying. Like most things, I’m just more successful at it than others.” Clearly, John was not amused, so Henry cleared his throat again and continued. “I’ve visited quite a few doctors over the last year or so. No one is quite sure what it is, honestly. They haven’t found a growth or anything of the like. I have phases when I’m nearly myself, and then the symptoms come back. They are full of theories, but theories don’t keep air in the lungs.”
John leaned back in his seat, unsure what to say. He finished his drink, considered pouring another, and then decided to wait. “I am at a loss for words,” he admitted. “I’m so sorry. Do you think there’s any hope? Perhaps….”
“No, I don’t think so,” Henry interrupted again. He changed positions so that his ankle now rested on his knee and began to absently smooth his trouser cuff. “I have my own theory, though it’s nothing I can prove, and honestly nothing I even care to think about.”
“What is it?” John asked, leaning forward again.
Henry shook his head, a serene expression crossing his face. He was a handsome man; the women had always thought so. Clean shaven except for a small moustache. John remembered how he’d had his choice of young debutantes to lead around the ballroom at every occasion. Not that John wasn’t considered a catch himself. It was just difficult to imagine that this man before him was the same spritely, happy-go-lucky chap he’d spent his formative years with not that long ago. After a lengthy pause, Henry managed to quietly reply, “I’d rather not say.”
It was a struggle not to press for information, so John rose and poured himself another drink, offering to top Henry’s off as well, but he waved him away. John took a sip and returned to his seat. “What does Mildred think?”
His expression didn’t change, nor did his distracted behavior. “She doesn’t seem to mind,” he finally shrugged out.
John shook his head slowly from side to side. He’d never known what it was Henry saw in the woman. Mildred Truesdale had been a beautiful strawberry blonde vixen, from his recollection. She was quick witted, never shy, and often condescending. But there had been something about her that had captivated his roommate from their third year on, and when he announced his engagement to Miss Truesdale, John hadn’t bothered to voice his disapproval. He knew that the marriage was not problem free, not that any of them are, but he couldn’t imagine living with someone who didn’t support him, someone who seemed to question his every decision, even in business, the way that Mildred did. He knew he was a lucky man to have found Pamela, and he had always wished that his friend could know what it was like to have a true partner in life. Now, to hear that his friend was losing his life and Mildred “didn’t seem to mind” was about enough to send him through the roof.
“What can I do?” John asked, biting back the coarse words of consternation that were fighting to break free.
A small smile played at Henry’s upper lip for a moment before it faded back to melancholy. “I think my business should be just fine, at least for a few years. I’m not worried about that. It’s… Meggy.”
PROLOGUE, CONTINUEDThoughts of his own children, Grace who was twelve and Charlie who had just turned nine, brought a tear to John’s eye. “Yes, of course,” he replied. “How old is she now? Six?”The smile broke free this time. “Yes, six—going on thirteen, I believe. She’s a little twig of a thing. Always running about. Feisty, full of life.” He didn’t bother to wipe the tears away that were trickling down his cheek. “After losing the other three before we ever even knew them, Meggy has been the breath of fresh air I needed. I can’t imagine….” He paused, his voice catching in his throat. “I can’t imagine my life without Meggy in it. And my heart breaks for her knowing that soon enough, she will have to carry on without her old Da. That’s what she calls me, Da. Must be those Irish nannies,” he chuckled, finally brushing the tears from his face.John realiz
SouthamptonMeggy Westmoreland loved the toy pram her father had brought her back from New York City. She had snuggled two of her favorite dolls inside, wrapped up tightly in a blanket which had been a gift from her late grandmother. It was a lovely spring day, and she pushed the pram back and forth along the stone path that trailed through the back garden. While she loved all of the beautiful flowers that grew here, the lilacs and oleanders were her favorite. She had even named one of her dolls Lilac, despite her mother’s insistence that it was a “ridiculous name.” The urge to pick the flowers was overwhelming, but she had learned her lesson the hard way when she was only three, and the sharp slap to her hand hadn’t been forgotten. Her mother and uncle sat under a shade tree in the distance now, and the possibility of getting away with even pulling one petal free was simply not worth the risk.As she walked back and forth, stopping occasionally
The sun had disappeared beyond the horizon as Meggy finished brushing her hair and placed the brush back on her dresser. “Now, say your prayers and off to bed,” her nanny, Patsy, directed, giving her a quick peck on the top of her head. Though she’d only worked for the family for about a year, Meggy liked her best of all, and she especially liked it when she was allowed to bring her daughter, Kelly, to play. Most of the time, however, Meggy’s mother forbade Kelly from visiting, and she spent most of her time with her grandmother while Patsy carefully tended to someone else’s child.As Patsy put out the lights, Meggy kneeled and said a proper prayer, asking God to look after all those she loved, and as Patsy neared the door, she rose, whispering, “Good night,” with a sweet smile.“Good night, my love,” Patsy smiled in return, watching the little girl climb into her bed before she went out, leaving the door open just
As he entered the parlor and saw Mildred sitting in her usual chair near the unlit fireplace, a lantern illuminating her embroidery, he wondered what that must be like, to love someone so much you couldn’t fathom going on without them. He had been in love with her at one time. She had been a clever, cunning young woman, with beautiful hair and sparkling eyes. He knew almost immediately she was after him for his money and the promise of a prominent life, but they had become involved more quickly than he had planned for, and he’d asked her to be his wife one evening when she’d come to him in tears, carrying the evidence of their indiscretions beneath her ample gown. A month later, after they’d made their vows, the first of their three tragedies occurred, and that evidence was buried in a tiny box in her father’s family plot. He had thought at the time their loss would bring them closer together, but that was the beginning of Mildred’s emotional rati
Southampton The swing was creaky. Her father had promised to look into it, to see if he could switch out the rope or tie it to a different branch, but he hadn’t gotten a chance to, and with every sway to and fro, Meggy was reminded that her father wasn’t coming home this time. She would never see him again.Her mother had said he’d had a heart attack, and when she’d questioned what that meant, she’d been sent out of the room. Later, Patsy had explained that his heart had stopped working, and now he was in heaven with Jesus. Meggy didn’t think it was fair that Jesus could just take her Da like that. Didn’t he have enough other people to keep him company? Her Da was the only person in the whole world she’d wanted to keep, and now he was gone. Forever.“Whatcha doin’?” Ezra asked sneaking around the back of the tree.“Nothing,” Meggy
Meggy’s prayers went unanswered, however, when her face made contact with the rough fabric of Patsy’s skirts. “Miss Meggy, darlin’ whatever are you doing?” she asked just above a whisper.Happy that it was Patsy who had found her out and no one else, Meggy let go a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Nothin’,” she replied looking up into the kind eyes of her caretaker.Patsy shook her head, frizzy red curls dancing around her mob cap. “Now, I know that isn’t true.”“I was just…. Mother and Uncle Bertram were talking, and I wanted to know what they were saying, that’s all. I thought maybe they might say something about Da.”Smiling, as if to say she understood, Patsy reached down and took her charge’s little hand. “How would you like a cookie?” she asked, leading her into the kitchen.“Mother says I shouldn&rsquo
New York CityCharlie Ashton always enjoyed walking the floor of his father’s factory with him, listening to the owner encourage the workers and comment on their effort. Everyone always seemed so happy and proud to be doing their job. Today was no different, as Mr. Ashton proceeded up and down the rows, patting workers on the back, calling almost every single one of them by name, despite the hundreds of individuals they passed. Charlie wondered how he knew everyone so well, and when he’d asked, his father simply said, “People are important.”The sounds of the machinery made parts of the factory very noisy, and whenever they would approach some of the more dangerous areas, John would always take Charlie by the hand, even though he was nearly eleven years old—practically a grown man—and his head reached his father’s shoulder. He said he wanted to make sure nothing happened to his right hand man, so Charlie shrugged and took his f
Southampton“Time for bed,” her mother repeated for at least the third time. Meggy continued to pretend that she could not hear her. She had been playing at reading for nearly half an hour now, not budging from her chair in the parlor, despite the fact that she knew her mother didn’t like her to be downstairs. Meggy didn’t like her room anymore.“Mary Margaret!” she shouted this time. “Get upstairs and change this instant or else I shall fetch Ms. Strickland from her chambers and have her put you to bed!”Meggy took a deep breath, realizing she would have to go now, despite the fact that she would have done almost anything to work her way around it. But without a word of back-talk (which would have gotten her a fat lip at the least) she gathered up her book, dragged herself out of the room, and began her slow ascent up the stairs.She took her time washing up as well. No longer would Patsy come in and help h
She’d been in Charlie’s bedroom a few times before, but this time was certainly different. Butterflies fluttered around her stomach, some of the nervous variety, but most of them fueled by excitement.They were sitting on the edge of his bed, the door closed and locked, the drapes pulled tightly. She knew that there were a few servants elsewhere in the house, but they would leave the couple undisturbed at least until mid-morning. Glancing up at him, she could see that he felt much the same way that she did.“It turned out quite well, don’t you think?” Charlie asked, clearly meaning the wedding.“Yes,” Meg nodded.“Even though a few guests certainly had too much to drink.”She giggled, thinking of one older gentleman who had made quite a spectacle of himself trying to climb atop one of the tables to dance. He had been escorted out, but Meg was thankful for the diversion. For once, everyone wasn&r
Ruth looked adorable in her pink dress, which hung to the floor, nearly tripping her as she danced around her parents. Kelly had stood beside Meg, along with Grace, and Charlie had been proud to have both Walter—who turned out to be every bit as silly as Charlie had described—and Quincy on his side.Now, it was all over, except for the reception. Then, Meg would return to Charlie’s house—the house they would share together—and embark on a new adventure, that of being Mrs. Charles Ashton.“Meg Ashton,” she said aloud, once the last of the well-wishers had moved along. “What do you think?”Charlie was already grinning from ear to ear, but his face brightened even more. “I think it sounds remarkable.”“That’s my name now, you know? Meg Ashton.”“What about Mary Margaret Ashton?” he asked, leaning close to her ear.“Heaven’s no. That&rsquo
Sitting next to Meg alone in the overly opulent dining room, Charlie couldn’t help but smile. Even though the voices still clung to him, he had a feeling Dr. Morgan could actually help. For the first time since he’d arrived back in New York City, he felt hopeful that he could return to his former self.“You look awfully chipper this evening,” Meg said, as she took a sip of her soup. “I suppose that means Dr. Morgan was helpful?”“It does,” Charlie admitted, noting how lovely she looked in the light blue gown she wore. It made her eyes sparkle. “He really does know precisely what to ask and how to ask it.”“Are you studying him as much as he’s studying you?” she asked, amusement pulling at the corners of her exquisite lips.He looked at her for a moment, his head tipped to the side a bit, seeing if she would break into a giggle. She did. “And what if I am?”&ld
Dr. Morgan’s office was on the third floor of a five story building, nestled between two similar looking offices, and Charlie attempted to be discreet as he slipped inside for the first time. He knew that the field of psychiatry was growing in acceptance, yet he didn’t necessarily want to make an announcement to the world that he needed help. However, the accompanying chorus of voices that stepped off of the elevator with him was a reminder that he hadn’t been capable of getting better on his own.The receptionist was an older woman with a nice smile. She asked Charlie to wait one moment while she informed Dr. Morgan that he was there, and though there were a few leather bound chairs to choose from, Charlie chose to stand instead. He peeked beneath the curtains at the few autos and pedestrians traveling about below and wondered if any of those people belonged in here as much as he did.“Mr. Ashton!” Dr. Morgan said, his quiet voice still s
Meg sat on a plush sofa in Maurice’s shop near Columbus Circle. From here, she could see the people outside bustling by on a warm June day, and she wondered where they were going and if any of them would mind if she went along. She’d rather be just about anywhere else.“I like the taffeta,” Grace was saying, “though with that tulle underneath, it seems a bit too… poofy, don’t you think?”It wasn’t Meg she was speaking to, so she remained silent, watching a plump, older woman proceed down the sidewalk with a little boy who she believed might be the woman’s grandson. He seemed reluctant to walk, and Meg imagined they must have had a disagreement. Perhaps he wanted a snack from one of the many street vendors, and Grandmother had said no….“Meg? Are you listening?”She turned her head to see Pamela addressing her. “I’m sorry—were you speaking to me?”
“The brain is still quite a mystery,” Dr. Morgan was saying as he sat across from Charlie in a plush velvet chair, Dr. Shaw seated nearby. Circles of smoke lingered around them from the cigars of several dozen gentlemen seated in similar groupings, discussing business and other inconsequentialities. Jonathan and Edward were sitting across the room, and Charlie glanced in his friend’s direction every once in a while, noting that he seemed unusually amused about something.“I’ve been reading Freud’s theories of psychoanalysis,” Charlie said with a nod. “Do you think there’s any truth to his findings? Particularly regarding the unconscious mind?”Dr. Morgan nodded. “I can’t say that I completely agree with all that Freud has to say, but I do with his theory that the unconscious mind plays a larger role in our actions than we previously understood.”“Do you believe memories can be tr
The First Class dining experience aboard the passenger liner they’d booked the next day to take them home was nothing compared to Titanic, and the ship was much smaller, which made the rocking more obvious, but as Meg sat next to Charlie at dinner, she was just happy to have him with her. She had been right in thinking he’d be more at ease on the way home.They’d insisted on having Jonathan and Carrie accompany them, and no one had objected. Dr. Shaw belonged there with them as much as anyone else, but Meg enjoyed watching Carrie’s face as others served her for a change, and Meg thought she looked lovely in one of her gowns.They’d spoken at great length about all that had transpired, and yet, from time to time, someone would still muse aloud, bringing the most astounding topics back to the conversation. Meg hadn’t allowed herself to shed a single tear for either Bertram or her mother, and she was hopeful that Ezra would get
Mildred only raised her eyebrows at Charlie but didn’t say a word about his blunt statement of what Meg certainly saw as the truth. “I shall go upstairs and fetch Bertram for you,” Mildred said, glancing at the detective before she turned to ascend the stairs. “It will give me the opportunity to say goodbye to him privately.”Meg was certain that last comment was a jab at her, her mother implying what Meg had always known was true, that the relationship between her mother and uncle was more than either of them were ever willing to admit to, but Meg ignored it. The emotions running through her mind were too much, even for her carefully guarded compartments, and she felt like she might begin to crumble at any moment.“Miss Westmoreland, we are prepared to take your statement whenever you are ready,” the detective said quietly, a weak smile pulling at one corner of his mouth out of politeness.“Give her a few moments,
They began to make their way through the kitchen, and Meg noticed Tessa had moved on to some sort of baking. She offered a smile but said nothing as they passed through. Meg made a mental note to make sure that Tessa received enough money that she wouldn’t have to work anymore. It was the least she could do for the woman who’d served her mother and put up with her uncle for so long.Mildred was standing in the foyer speaking to an officer Meg didn’t recognize. The other officers Det. Weber had mentioned must have arrived, because several men in uniforms stood both inside the entryway and on the porch. Officer Brown was speaking to the ones on the porch, and Meg decided to wait for him to notice her rather than announce her presence and be forced to get on with her report of what happened with her uncle any sooner than necessary.“Mary Margaret,” Mildred said, turning to face her daughter. “You’ve returned. Did you get everythin