I look out the window, watching the ground come closer and closer. The plane lands smoothly, and I lean back, yawning for the millionth time on this one-hour flight. I left the hospital at two AM, got home, showered, and slept for an hour and a half, before having to get up and get to the airport.
Feeling like I’m walking through a heavy fog, I get a coffee with extra espresso on my way to the baggage claim, and down the whole thing by the time I get my suitcase. There’s a car waiting for me, and it takes effort not to fall asleep on the drive over. Traffic is slow, and while I don’t want to miss anything, the thought of dozing off while stuck in a jam sounds nice right now.
Alyson works in the city. I don’t know where she works, or exactly what she does to even begin to describe it to someone, but she’s here. And so are three million other people. I won’t run into her. I shouldn’t even worry about it.
<“You have got to be kidding me.” I blink. Once. Twice.Jim Jones is still there. He’s staring back at me, and good Lord, that man looks fine as hell inthat navy blue suit. His dark hair is a little messy, and the scruff on his face enhances the strong, masculine features.I’m instantly turned on. And equally annoyed. What the hell is he doing here?“Alyson? Is everything all right?” Jacob follows my line of sight out the glass door. “What’s wrong?”“Nothing, nothing’s wrong.” I force a smile and look back up. Jacob McMillan works at our sister company and is partnering with me on this new big project. We dated for a while a year ago, and are better friends than lovers. He’s a nice guy, too nice really, and working with my ex isn’t as awkward as I thought it would be.Don’t get me wrong, it is awkward to work with an ex when he’s still in
“So, this is my home,” I say, stepping into the loft. I pull my purse off my shoulder and take my laptop from Jim, setting them on the bench next to my door. I traded my heels for comfortablewalking shoes before leaving the office, and kick those off, using my foot to push them under the bench.Jim takes his shoes off as well and moves close behind me, looking around. A fat orange cat trots over, meowing when he sees us.“This is Neville.” I pick him up and he instantly starts purring. “The half-cat.”Smiling, Jim holds out his hand for Neville to sniff. Deciding Jim isn’t a threat, Neville rubs his face on Jim’s fingers. “I can see why you don’t want to give him up.”“He’s a lover. I wasn’t sure how the other cats would react to him, but they get along fine. The other three are all females and boss this fat guy around.” I walk inside, letting Neville jump ou
“Yes.” The word leaves my mouth before I have a chance to think about it. Alyson doesn’t say anything, doesn’t react. Her lashes come together in a blink, and she looks at me, almost as if she’swaiting for me to tell her I’m joking.Then she smiles.It’s the most beautiful thing in the world. And right now, with her hands on my chest and my arms locked around her waist, I want to kiss her hard and tell her I’d take her on a thousand dates and it wouldn’t be enough.The moment is over as fast as it started, and I’m sure she’s thinking the same thing I am. She lives in Chicago. I live in Indy. We’re not worlds away, but a four-hour drive makes starting a relationship hard.I don’t know the next time I’ll be able to get away from work long enough to come see her. It could be weeks before I’m able to drive back up north and take her on a second date.
My heart pounds with indignation as anger surges through me. I don’t know who I’m more mad at: myself or Jim. Though right now, with his lips pressed to mine, it’s hard to be anything other than stunned.He moves in, hands landing on my waist. Pushing his tongue into my mouth, he brings me in tight against him. My breasts crush against his chest and heat floods my veins.I’m not stunned anymore. And I’m not pissed.Jim’s lips are soft and full. His kisses are hard and desperate. Together, it’s a recipe for disaster. My resolve is crumbling. I should stop him now before there’s nothing left.But I don’t want to stop him, not when it feels so good.“Alyson,” he pants, pressing his forehead against mine. I bring my arms up around his neck and shuffle closer, parting my legs and pushing my hips into his. Jim has never held me like this before. We’ve never been so close. And h
I pull Alyson closer, pressing my lips against the side of her neck. I’m half asleep and fighting it. As much as I need sleep, I want to soak up every minute of this as I can. Who knows what the morning will bring. Or even the moment we get out of bed.I kissed Alyson. Felt Alyson.Touched every inch of her. Fucked her. Finally. After years of wanting and waiting for the time to come, it did. I think back to Sam and what he said about idealizing sleeping with Alyson. How there’s no way the real thing could be as good as what I’ve imagined in my mind.He had a good point. Often, when you want something so bad and it’s so out of reach, you romanticize it, make it seem better than it ever can be. I thought that was the case with Alyson.But it couldn’t be further from the truth.There’s no fucking her out of my system. There’s no spending one night with her and being able to move on with my life.
I’ve shaved every piece of unwanted hair off my body. I’ve plucked and tweezed, applied makeup only to take it off and do it again, and re-curled my hair three times.But I’m not trying to look good for Jim Jones.He saw me in my natural element yesterday at work wearing office attire and my hair in a ponytail. And then he saw me in all sorts of ways last night, and it’s not like I woke up looking like an Instagram model or something.I take my sunglasses off my head, and my hair gets stuck. Yanking it free, I put them on and pay my fare as I get out of the cab. It’s nice out today, a little breezier than yesterday, but the air is humid and the wind is welcome.Jim texted me not long ago and said the convention was over, but the medical director from a big hospital invited him out for a drink at the hotel bar. He didn’t think it would take long and was too good of an opportunity to pass up. I encouraged him to go,
I stretch my arms out in front of me, slowly rolling my wrist. It’s aching today, and I forgot my wrist brace at home. I remembered my posture brace, at least, and stand for the first time in hours to get it from my bag. My office is warm today from having multiple computers running and my door closed. I found a snag in the software design and have been pulling my hair out all day trying to fix it. I think I’m the only one left in the office. Opening my office door, I twist my hair into a bun and use a pen to secure it on the top of my head. Grabbing the posture brace, I unbutton my blouse and take it off, tossing it in my oversized purse. I’m wearing a sheer white cami underneath, so it’s not like I’m just sitting in here in just a bra. I slip the brace on and sit back at my computer, feeling a bit better to have my shoulders held back into place. As soon as I sit down, nausea I’ve felt all day hits me hard. I get up to get some water, and as soon as I set foo
“Do you boys want a second helping?” “Yes, please,” I tell Mrs. Langford, even though I’m already full from the first plate of chicken potpie I had. But it’s homemade and delicious. “Your interview was pushed to tomorrow?” she asks as she puts another helping on my plate and moves on to give Jacob another scoop. “Yeah. The chief surgeon wanted to talk to me as well but couldn’t. There was a nasty car accident and he’s been in surgery all day.” Mrs. Langford grimaces. “I don’t know how you do it. I’m so thankful you can, of course. We need more good doctors like you in this county.” She gives me a warm smile. “You’re staying here tonight, don’t even try to tell me otherwise.” Mrs. Langford smiles. “I love to have both my boys back! It’ll be just like college. Except you’re both much more mature,” she adds with a wink. “What about dessert?” “Rose was right,” Jacob says and puts a hand on his stomach. “You are trying to fatten me up
I look in the mirror, making sure my hair is okay. It’s the morning of Jacob and Kara’s wedding, and I’m not feeling the greatest. I’d say I’m nervous, but I don’t think that’s the case. I got invited back into the wedding party at the last minute, and I really do think Kara feels bad about going psychotic over the details of her wedding.I wasn’t the only one who felt her wrath, and after her sorority sister threatened to drop out, Kara changed her ways. Still, things are tense between us, and Jacob was given shit by Kara for hanging out with Jim. It bothered me, pissed me off even, and then I hit week thirty-nine and stopped caring about pretty much everything except getting this baby out of me.She’s still in there, chilling with no signs of making her debut into the world. She finally dropped a week ago and hasn’t progressed since then.“You look beautiful, babe,” Jim says, coming into t
“Is it just me or is this really awkward?” Alyson leans in, resting her plate of appetizers on her belly.“It’s awkward. I feel like we should leave.”Her aunt Belinda comes over, arms extended. Alyson’s eyes widen, and she nods, putting on a fake smile. We’re at Jacob and Kara’s wedding shower, and Alyson and Jacob’s relatives are more excited about Emma’s upcoming birth and the house Alyson and I are building together than the wedding.Kara has been giving Alyson the stink-eye all afternoon, and Alyson and I retreated to the back of the venue, trying to escape the limelight. Alyson hands me her plate and gets up to hug her aunt. She winces when she stands, making me even more glad she’s done with her job in Chicago. Emma is due in a month and the round ligament pain has gotten worse, as well as Braxton Hicks contractions. She’s been a trooper though, hardly complaining at all. I’ve b
“You’re such a bitch for leaving,” Marissa says, standing next to my desk. “I’m going to miss you.”“I’m here for two more weeks,” I remind her. “And Eastwood is two hours away. Less if traffic moves quickly.”“Which happens so often.”“I know. But I’ll be in the city at least once a month.” “You better tell me every time you’re here.”“I will,” I say and look up from my desk. I put in my two weeks’ notice today. I’d been dreading doing it and actually put it off for a full week before talking to my boss. I’m sad to leave, and part of me will miss this place. But it’s mid-January and I’m so ready to go home and be with Jim.We have a small apartment downtown and have been finalizing plans for our house to be built this spring. Feeling like I’m becoming my mother, I’ve been pinning an
“Everything was perfect at the latest scan,” I say, taking the ultrasound photos from Alyson. We’re at her parents’ house again, two weeks after getting engaged. It’s Thursday afternoon and a bit early for dinner, but Alyson has to drive back to the city tonight for work in the morning. I was able to get back in for an interview at the local hospital, and after talking with the head surgeon again, I think things went as well as they can after you turn down a job because you didn’t think it’d be challenging enough.“The OB thinks she’s going to be big,” Alyson says, cutting into her chicken. “You are looking like a beached whale already,” Owen tells her with a wink. “I think you look radiant,” Logan counters. “Simply beautiful.”“Flattery isn’t going to make you be the godfather, dumbass,” Owen spits, rolling his eyes at his twin.“We already kn
“No?” Jim echoes, face paling.“I want to hear the speech.” I chose Jim’s fingers around the ring. “Ask me like you had it planned.”Jim looks down at the ring. “Are you…are you going to say yes?” “Yes!” I say, and tears fall from my eyes. “I love you so much, Jim.”“I love you too,” he says, wrapping his arms around me. He pulls me onto his lap, and when we kiss, everything fades away. Breathless, I break away, cupping Jim’s face with my hands.“How tired are you?”“Pretty damn tired.”I gently kiss him. “Do you want to get a good night’s sleep and make sure this is what you want?” I ask with a smile.“It’s what I’ve always wanted.” He shifts his weight, holding me close. “I brought the ring to Hawaii with me.”“You’ve had this since the
Isink into the driver’s seat, squeezing my eyes shut for a second before starting the car. I just got home from Boston, and I have a headache. Both from lack of sleep and from everything going on. But after talking with my mother, I knew what I had to do. You make sacrifices for your children, and in the end, they’re worth it.I have two missed calls from Alyson, and it’s been killing me not to call her back. I wanted to wait until I was in the car though, so she wouldn’t hear the sounds of the airport. Leaving the parking garage, I call her, and she answers after the first ring.“Hey, babe,” I say. “Sorry I missed your calls. I was in back-to-back surgeries.”“You’re at work?” she asks, voice flat.“Yeah. But I’m out now.”“Sure.”“Are you still in Eastwood?”“Yep. That was my plan. Stay here this weekend.”&
“Your tummy is big, Aunt Winnie.”“Thanks, buddy. But if you think this is big, just wait.”Jackson scrunches up his nose. “I still don’t get how Jim put a baby in there.” “Hey,” Weston says, shaking his head. “We talked about this.”I try not to laugh, knowing the reaction will only perpetuate the situation. “What did you say?” I quietly ask Wes.“A lot of stuff that confused him even more. But I told him it’s not polite to talk to women about things in their bellies.”“Good call. Raise him to be a gentleman.” I put my hand on my lower abdomen, wincing as I straighten up.“You okay, sis?”“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve been having more round ligament pain the last few days. My OB said it was more common in the first trimester, fades in the second, and comes back at the end. Some lucky people get it the whol
“Your frequent flyer is back.”“Are you serious?” I look up from the paperwork I’ve been filling out for the last twenty minutes, knowing by the nurse’s face she is.“Popped stitches. ER sent him up.”“They can’t do stitches down there?” I grumble.The nurse rolls her eyes. “Apparently ‘it’s internal,’ and he needs to see a surgeon. Like we can just put him in front of our other patients. Do you want me to send him back down?”“No, I’ll deal with it. Thank you, though.”I finish my paperwork and deal with the difficult patient, who had a hernia repaired a month ago and hasn’t followed post-op instructions at all. He’s been in three times since his operation. I do rounds after that, finish my paperwork and finally go home after a twenty-six-hour shift.Another resident who’s been in the program with me sin
I hang up without leaving a message and set my phone down, feeling a little uneasy. I haven’t talked to Jim since yesterday afternoon. Things still weren’t quite resolved between us when we got off the plane, and it’s making the missed calls seem like a bigger deal than it is.I know Jim was in surgery throughout the night and is working again today. He doesn’t usually call if he gets off in the middle of the night, not wanting to wake me up. Though given the way things are unsettled between us, it’s making me worry. And when I worry, I tend to obsess and assume the worst is going to happen. That way if something slightly less traumatic actually does happen, I’m not as devastated.“My bitch is back!” Marissa throws her arms up and comes into my office. “It was so boring around here without you last week. How was vacay?”“Fun,” I tell her with a smile. And it was, up until the plane ride home