My heart pounds with indignation as anger surges through me. I don’t know who I’m more mad at: myself or Jim. Though right now, with his lips pressed to mine, it’s hard to be anything other than stunned.
He moves in, hands landing on my waist. Pushing his tongue into my mouth, he brings me in tight against him. My breasts crush against his chest and heat floods my veins.
I’m not stunned anymore. And I’m not pissed.
Jim’s lips are soft and full. His kisses are hard and desperate. Together, it’s a recipe for disaster. My resolve is crumbling. I should stop him now before there’s nothing left.
But I don’t want to stop him, not when it feels so good.
“Alyson,” he pants, pressing his forehead against mine. I bring my arms up around his neck and shuffle closer, parting my legs and pushing my hips into his. Jim has never held me like this before. We’ve never been so close. And h
I pull Alyson closer, pressing my lips against the side of her neck. I’m half asleep and fighting it. As much as I need sleep, I want to soak up every minute of this as I can. Who knows what the morning will bring. Or even the moment we get out of bed.I kissed Alyson. Felt Alyson.Touched every inch of her. Fucked her. Finally. After years of wanting and waiting for the time to come, it did. I think back to Sam and what he said about idealizing sleeping with Alyson. How there’s no way the real thing could be as good as what I’ve imagined in my mind.He had a good point. Often, when you want something so bad and it’s so out of reach, you romanticize it, make it seem better than it ever can be. I thought that was the case with Alyson.But it couldn’t be further from the truth.There’s no fucking her out of my system. There’s no spending one night with her and being able to move on with my life.
I’ve shaved every piece of unwanted hair off my body. I’ve plucked and tweezed, applied makeup only to take it off and do it again, and re-curled my hair three times.But I’m not trying to look good for Jim Jones.He saw me in my natural element yesterday at work wearing office attire and my hair in a ponytail. And then he saw me in all sorts of ways last night, and it’s not like I woke up looking like an Instagram model or something.I take my sunglasses off my head, and my hair gets stuck. Yanking it free, I put them on and pay my fare as I get out of the cab. It’s nice out today, a little breezier than yesterday, but the air is humid and the wind is welcome.Jim texted me not long ago and said the convention was over, but the medical director from a big hospital invited him out for a drink at the hotel bar. He didn’t think it would take long and was too good of an opportunity to pass up. I encouraged him to go,
I stretch my arms out in front of me, slowly rolling my wrist. It’s aching today, and I forgot my wrist brace at home. I remembered my posture brace, at least, and stand for the first time in hours to get it from my bag. My office is warm today from having multiple computers running and my door closed. I found a snag in the software design and have been pulling my hair out all day trying to fix it. I think I’m the only one left in the office. Opening my office door, I twist my hair into a bun and use a pen to secure it on the top of my head. Grabbing the posture brace, I unbutton my blouse and take it off, tossing it in my oversized purse. I’m wearing a sheer white cami underneath, so it’s not like I’m just sitting in here in just a bra. I slip the brace on and sit back at my computer, feeling a bit better to have my shoulders held back into place. As soon as I sit down, nausea I’ve felt all day hits me hard. I get up to get some water, and as soon as I set foo
“Do you boys want a second helping?” “Yes, please,” I tell Mrs. Langford, even though I’m already full from the first plate of chicken potpie I had. But it’s homemade and delicious. “Your interview was pushed to tomorrow?” she asks as she puts another helping on my plate and moves on to give Jacob another scoop. “Yeah. The chief surgeon wanted to talk to me as well but couldn’t. There was a nasty car accident and he’s been in surgery all day.” Mrs. Langford grimaces. “I don’t know how you do it. I’m so thankful you can, of course. We need more good doctors like you in this county.” She gives me a warm smile. “You’re staying here tonight, don’t even try to tell me otherwise.” Mrs. Langford smiles. “I love to have both my boys back! It’ll be just like college. Except you’re both much more mature,” she adds with a wink. “What about dessert?” “Rose was right,” Jacob says and puts a hand on his stomach. “You are trying to fatten me up
I’m finishing my last cookie when the stairs creak. At first, I think it’s one of the dogs, but the lack of jingling dog tags lets me know it’s a human. “Oh,” Alyson’s voice comes from behind me. I turn, taking in the sight of her in her pajama shorts and tight tank top. She’s obviously not wearing a bra, and her long, lean legs are hardly covered by the shorts. If she turns around and I see her sweet, supple ass, I’m screwed. “I didn’t know you were down here,” she murmurs. “I couldn’t sleep,” I say, brushing the crumbs from my hands. I’m only in my boxers, not expecting anyone to join me. Alyson lets her eyes linger on my body for a moment before looking away. She smooths out her shirt, pulling the collar up, trying to cover herself, and looks so uncomfortable. “Neither could I,” she admits and opens the fridge, rooting around until she finds a can of ginger ale. “Not feeling well?” She pops the top and
My stomach gurgles and my throat feels thick. A telltale sign I’m going to throw up. I pride myself on saying I have an iron stomach and often bring up how I survived the Langford Family Picnic disaster, over seven years ago, with just a twist of nausea when everyone But right now, there’s no stopping what’s coming up. And also right now, Jim’s hand lands on my cheek, gently cupping my face and turning my chin up to his. He leans in and I know he’s going to kiss me. I want nothing more than to kiss him back, but I can’t. Not right now. I push his hand away and turn, barely making it to the sink before I throw up. “Fuck, Alyson,” Jim says and moves in, grabbing my hair and holding it back. My stomach heaves again, and I shudder. Throwing up is awful. Just fucking awful. I turn on the faucet and rinse my mouth, washing away any vomit that might be on my face. Jim’s hand lands on my back, gently rubbing it, and he’s still holding my hair.
“HOW DO YOU DO THIS EVERY DAY?” I FALL INTO A LOUNGE CHAIR, OVER EXAGGERATING MY exhaustion. Though I am dragging, even with sleeping in past ten this morning. Wes shrugs, a slight smile on his face as he watches his son run around the yard with the dogs. “You just do.” “You’re like a superhero. Literally. Saving lives as a cop and rocking the whole single-parent thing.” He bypasses the compliment. “Keep your shoes on, buddy!” he shouts to Jackson. “He’s going through a barefoot phase right now.” “Better than his bare-butt phase when he wouldn’t wear pants.” Wes laughs, adjusting his gun on his belt before sitting on a chair next to me. He’s on his lunch break, and came by for a homemade meal and to see Jackson. “You do know the crime is really low here, don’t you? Or have you been away so long you forgot? I’m not saving lives in Eastwood.” I shoot him a look, trying desperately hard to ignore the sick feeling in my sto
I blink rapidly, eyes needing to readjust to the bright sunlight around us. Everything faded for a moment there. “And Jim. I didn’t know you were in town.” Logan’s eyes go from Alyson to me a few times before he pulls Alyson in for a hug. “I’m guessing this is why Mom’s having us all come over for dinner tonight.” “Yeah. We’re out running errands for her,” she says, shuffling back. Sweat breaks out along my back, both from the heat of the day and almost getting caught. My judgment goes out the window when it comes to Alyson, and she got me going from zero to sixty in three seconds flat. “What’d you buy?” Alyson asks, shifting nervously. She’s worried her brother saw us too. “That thriller that’s being made into a movie. I refuse to see the movie until I’ve read the book.” Out of all her brothers, Alyson and Logan are the most alike. He’s the second youngest, even though Ben is a mere handful of seconds older, and I’ve heard them joke a
I look in the mirror, making sure my hair is okay. It’s the morning of Jacob and Kara’s wedding, and I’m not feeling the greatest. I’d say I’m nervous, but I don’t think that’s the case. I got invited back into the wedding party at the last minute, and I really do think Kara feels bad about going psychotic over the details of her wedding.I wasn’t the only one who felt her wrath, and after her sorority sister threatened to drop out, Kara changed her ways. Still, things are tense between us, and Jacob was given shit by Kara for hanging out with Jim. It bothered me, pissed me off even, and then I hit week thirty-nine and stopped caring about pretty much everything except getting this baby out of me.She’s still in there, chilling with no signs of making her debut into the world. She finally dropped a week ago and hasn’t progressed since then.“You look beautiful, babe,” Jim says, coming into t
“Is it just me or is this really awkward?” Alyson leans in, resting her plate of appetizers on her belly.“It’s awkward. I feel like we should leave.”Her aunt Belinda comes over, arms extended. Alyson’s eyes widen, and she nods, putting on a fake smile. We’re at Jacob and Kara’s wedding shower, and Alyson and Jacob’s relatives are more excited about Emma’s upcoming birth and the house Alyson and I are building together than the wedding.Kara has been giving Alyson the stink-eye all afternoon, and Alyson and I retreated to the back of the venue, trying to escape the limelight. Alyson hands me her plate and gets up to hug her aunt. She winces when she stands, making me even more glad she’s done with her job in Chicago. Emma is due in a month and the round ligament pain has gotten worse, as well as Braxton Hicks contractions. She’s been a trooper though, hardly complaining at all. I’ve b
“You’re such a bitch for leaving,” Marissa says, standing next to my desk. “I’m going to miss you.”“I’m here for two more weeks,” I remind her. “And Eastwood is two hours away. Less if traffic moves quickly.”“Which happens so often.”“I know. But I’ll be in the city at least once a month.” “You better tell me every time you’re here.”“I will,” I say and look up from my desk. I put in my two weeks’ notice today. I’d been dreading doing it and actually put it off for a full week before talking to my boss. I’m sad to leave, and part of me will miss this place. But it’s mid-January and I’m so ready to go home and be with Jim.We have a small apartment downtown and have been finalizing plans for our house to be built this spring. Feeling like I’m becoming my mother, I’ve been pinning an
“Everything was perfect at the latest scan,” I say, taking the ultrasound photos from Alyson. We’re at her parents’ house again, two weeks after getting engaged. It’s Thursday afternoon and a bit early for dinner, but Alyson has to drive back to the city tonight for work in the morning. I was able to get back in for an interview at the local hospital, and after talking with the head surgeon again, I think things went as well as they can after you turn down a job because you didn’t think it’d be challenging enough.“The OB thinks she’s going to be big,” Alyson says, cutting into her chicken. “You are looking like a beached whale already,” Owen tells her with a wink. “I think you look radiant,” Logan counters. “Simply beautiful.”“Flattery isn’t going to make you be the godfather, dumbass,” Owen spits, rolling his eyes at his twin.“We already kn
“No?” Jim echoes, face paling.“I want to hear the speech.” I chose Jim’s fingers around the ring. “Ask me like you had it planned.”Jim looks down at the ring. “Are you…are you going to say yes?” “Yes!” I say, and tears fall from my eyes. “I love you so much, Jim.”“I love you too,” he says, wrapping his arms around me. He pulls me onto his lap, and when we kiss, everything fades away. Breathless, I break away, cupping Jim’s face with my hands.“How tired are you?”“Pretty damn tired.”I gently kiss him. “Do you want to get a good night’s sleep and make sure this is what you want?” I ask with a smile.“It’s what I’ve always wanted.” He shifts his weight, holding me close. “I brought the ring to Hawaii with me.”“You’ve had this since the
Isink into the driver’s seat, squeezing my eyes shut for a second before starting the car. I just got home from Boston, and I have a headache. Both from lack of sleep and from everything going on. But after talking with my mother, I knew what I had to do. You make sacrifices for your children, and in the end, they’re worth it.I have two missed calls from Alyson, and it’s been killing me not to call her back. I wanted to wait until I was in the car though, so she wouldn’t hear the sounds of the airport. Leaving the parking garage, I call her, and she answers after the first ring.“Hey, babe,” I say. “Sorry I missed your calls. I was in back-to-back surgeries.”“You’re at work?” she asks, voice flat.“Yeah. But I’m out now.”“Sure.”“Are you still in Eastwood?”“Yep. That was my plan. Stay here this weekend.”&
“Your tummy is big, Aunt Winnie.”“Thanks, buddy. But if you think this is big, just wait.”Jackson scrunches up his nose. “I still don’t get how Jim put a baby in there.” “Hey,” Weston says, shaking his head. “We talked about this.”I try not to laugh, knowing the reaction will only perpetuate the situation. “What did you say?” I quietly ask Wes.“A lot of stuff that confused him even more. But I told him it’s not polite to talk to women about things in their bellies.”“Good call. Raise him to be a gentleman.” I put my hand on my lower abdomen, wincing as I straighten up.“You okay, sis?”“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve been having more round ligament pain the last few days. My OB said it was more common in the first trimester, fades in the second, and comes back at the end. Some lucky people get it the whol
“Your frequent flyer is back.”“Are you serious?” I look up from the paperwork I’ve been filling out for the last twenty minutes, knowing by the nurse’s face she is.“Popped stitches. ER sent him up.”“They can’t do stitches down there?” I grumble.The nurse rolls her eyes. “Apparently ‘it’s internal,’ and he needs to see a surgeon. Like we can just put him in front of our other patients. Do you want me to send him back down?”“No, I’ll deal with it. Thank you, though.”I finish my paperwork and deal with the difficult patient, who had a hernia repaired a month ago and hasn’t followed post-op instructions at all. He’s been in three times since his operation. I do rounds after that, finish my paperwork and finally go home after a twenty-six-hour shift.Another resident who’s been in the program with me sin
I hang up without leaving a message and set my phone down, feeling a little uneasy. I haven’t talked to Jim since yesterday afternoon. Things still weren’t quite resolved between us when we got off the plane, and it’s making the missed calls seem like a bigger deal than it is.I know Jim was in surgery throughout the night and is working again today. He doesn’t usually call if he gets off in the middle of the night, not wanting to wake me up. Though given the way things are unsettled between us, it’s making me worry. And when I worry, I tend to obsess and assume the worst is going to happen. That way if something slightly less traumatic actually does happen, I’m not as devastated.“My bitch is back!” Marissa throws her arms up and comes into my office. “It was so boring around here without you last week. How was vacay?”“Fun,” I tell her with a smile. And it was, up until the plane ride home