I am a glutton for punishment. Ever since the tender age of fourteen, I knew there was something wrong with me. Because of all the boys in all the world, I could go and have a crush on, I fall for him.
My older brother’s college roommate. The mysterious boy with a troubled past could have any girl he wants. The cute boy with dark hair and deep brown eyes who’s as smart as he is cocky, who somehow managed to both get into med school and win over a lifetime friendship from sports-loving Jacob, who only attended the same college because of a basketball scholarship.
And those girls? I was never one of them. Not then, and I won’t be again now.
I don’t expect to see him here tonight, but if he shows up, I won’t be surprised. Everyone is back in town for Jacob’s engagement party, and it’s inevitable we all end up at Getaway, the bar owned by my twin brothers. My heel catches on the toe of my other shoe, tripping me and making me slosh my very full Dirty Shirley down the front of my dress.
“Shit,” I mutter and sip my drink as I turn around to grab a napkin. “Smooth, sis.” Logan holds out a rag.
“It was that obvious, huh?” I set my glass on the wooden bar top and take the rag.
“In your defense, I did fill your glass to the top. I thought I was doing you a favor, but now I know otherwise.”
I roll my eyes at my brother and blot at the stains on my dress. Of course I’m wearing white. Never fails, does it? I slide onto a barstool and wipe the sides of my glass, taking a big drink before returning the rag to my brother. He takes it and tosses it at Ben’s face, making him lean away from the girls he’s been flirting with all night.
“What the hell?” Ben snaps, throwing the rag in a bin behind the counter. “I had a good thing going.”
“You’re going to pay for those drinks you gave away, right?” Logan shifts his eyes from me to his twin. They’re identical, thick as thieves, but radically different in many aspects, which works out in both their favors. They balance each other out—most of the time.
“Take it from my pay.” Ben grabs a bottle from the top shelf, arms himself with a cocky smile, and goes to the end of the bar to refill empty shot glasses. I pull my phone from my purse and see I missed a text from Jamie. She got held up at work and is rushing to get changed. She says she’ll be here in fifteen minutes, which could mean up to an hour in Jamie-time. I relax in my seat and sip my drink as I mindlessly surf the internet.
“You’re working, aren’t you?” Logan rests his elbows on the bar and leans in, peering at my
phone.
“Not this time. I’m trying really hard not to even check my email. I’m looking at a castle for sale in Scotland.”
Not missing a beat or even questioning me, my brother just shakes his head. “Mom can hardly handle you being less than two hours away in Chicago. She’d lose her shit if you moved to Europe.”
“But look, it has a bookshelf that opens to a secret staircase.”
“That is pretty badass.” A moment passes as I continue to look through the images of the castle. Logan sets a glass down on the bar next to me and grabs a bottle of whiskey. “So you’re just going to sit here, drinking by yourself while you look at castles you’re not really going to buy?”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
Logan just chuckles and goes to take drink orders from new customers. I slowly sip at my drink, mildly entertained by what’s on the glowing screen in front of me. A large group comes in, filling the bar with bodies and noise.
Newly expanded, Getaway is a large bar, and it needs every single square foot it can get. I’m proud of my brothers for turning this place around from the hole-in-the-wall bar it was when they first bought it into something people flock to.
The woman next to me gets up and a man immediately slides onto the stool. His cologne is overwhelming, making me gag.
“I couldn’t help but notice” —he starts, leaning in— “that you were here alone.”
Blinking, I look up from my phone at the man next to me. He’s wearing a dark suit with the jacket unbuttoned and is flashing me a bright-white smile.
“I’m Cam, by the way.” He extends his hand, showing off his large-faced watch in the process.
He’s overdressed for the bar which caters to the blue-collar people of Eastwood, Indiana.
“Alyson,” I say, finding it hard to be anything but polite. It’s in my nature to assume people aren’t assholes. His attention is unwanted, but not rude. Not yet at least. He grips my hand tight, pressing his finger over the pulse-point on my wrist like he’s trying out some lame move he read about in a dating- blog article.
“You’re not from around here, are you?”
“No.” It feels like a lie. I am from around here. I just don’t live here currently. I always assumed I’d end up back here someday.
“Didn’t think so. I’ve been doing business in Newport the last few months and have stopped in here every now and then. If you’d been in here before, I’d remember it.”
I force a smile and shift my eyes to the bar. All I need to do is look at one of my brothers for them to come running, shove a fist in this guy’s face and kick him out for life. Three of the four are here tonight, and they all take their roles as big brother seriously. Instead, I grab my drink and fiddle with the straw, wishing I had the power to speed up time and make Jamie walk through the door.
“So, you’re here alone,” he says more than asks. Of course I’m alone, and it’s obvious. “For now. I’m waiting for a friend.”
“Yeah.” He gives me a wink. “Me too.” He inches closer. “We can wait together. Want a refill?” “No thanks. My friend is a boy. Well, no, more like a man. Not more like. He is. He’s my man-
friend.” The words keep coming out of my mouth even though I want them to stop. “I’m waiting for my man-friend.”
“Right. Man-friend.” Cam’s eyebrows arch in amusement. “In case he doesn’t show, you know where to find me.”
“Yeah,” I mumble, flashing a polite smile before getting up and going behind the bar. I fill a glass
with a small amount of vodka and then fill it with cherries.
“What are you doing back here?” Ben breezes past me to get a bottle of tequila. I pull a cherry from its stem and pop it in my mouth.
“Making myself a drink.” “That’s just cherries and vodka.”
“Exactly. I’ll give the cherries a few minutes to marinate in the booze then I’ll eat them.” Ben responds with a head shake and points to something next to me. “Hand me that glass?” “Sure,” I say and hand it to him. “It’s getting busy in here. Where’s Heather?”
“Waiting on her sitter to show up. She’ll be here…eventually.” “I can help in the meantime.”
Ben considers it as he pours a drink, hurrying back across the bar before coming back. “Can you make an Old Fashioned for the guy in the white shirt?”
“A what?”
“Old Fashioned.”
I blink and reach into my purse again for my phone. Holding up my finger to tell Ben to wait, I do a quick Google search. “Got it. Well, maybe. What does it mean to ‘muddle’ a drink?”
“I’ll make it. Here.” He hands me a bottle of whiskey. “Pour ten shots and take them to Jacob’s table, along with this margarita for Rose.”
“Easy enough.” I move my glass of cherries to a safe spot, grab a tray, shot glasses, and carefully pour. I worked at a bar in college and lasted three nights before getting fired for not being able to keep up. I like fast-paced jobs. Hell, I’d go so far as to say I enjoy being in a field I can describe as demanding. But there was something so overwhelming about being surrounded by drunk people all shouting and yelling for their drinks.
Centering the margarita and arranging the shots around it, I lift the tray. A few shot glasses wobble, and the amber-colored liquid sloshes around. I take a step—nothing spills. Holding the tray as level as I can, I slowly make my way through the bar and feel a new appreciation for Heather, who can sprint through here, in heels no less, and deliver drinks without so much as losing a drop of booze on her way to the table.
I spy Jacob and my soon-to-be sister-in-law, Rose, at a crowded table at the back. I sidestep to avoid a group of drunk women all wearing matching pink shirts that say “Marie’s Last Fling Before the Ring” and grit my teeth as I watch the smallest bit of whiskey roll down the sides of the glasses. Maybe I shouldn’t have filled them so high.
Stopping in front of Jacob’s table, I make my move to set the tray of shots down. Right as I’m lowering it, a drunk guy stumbles and bumps right into me…and the tray full of alcohol.
All I see are boobs. Large. Perky. Round. They’re in my face and I’m having a hard time straightening up to look at the waitress’s eyes. Alcohol drips off her perfect tits, rollingdown onto the table and splashing into my lap.“Sorry,” the drunk asshole who bumped into her slurs, stumbling away. Jacob, who’s on his way to being just as toasted as that guy, jumps up and takes the waitress by the arm and helps her straighten up. The guy had shoved her forward and she hit the table. In a desperate attempt to save the tray full of shots she brought it closer to her body which resulted in all ten shot glasses and one strawberry margarita sliding down the tray and crashing against her ample chest.I’ve never been jealous of an inanimate object before today. She’s leaning over, alcohol streaming down the tray. A shot glass hits the table and rolls, landing on my lap.“You all right?” Jacob asks,
The air leaves my lungs and I’m left standing there, watching Jim walk up ahead of me. What the hell? Did I say something wrong? One minute we were talking, feeling like the old friends we should be, and the next he’s acting like he can’t get away from me fast enough.He stops at the employee door, needing me to punch in a code to unlock it. I fold the scrubs over my arm, careful not to press them against my wet dress, and take a spot next to him to enter the code. He doesn’t look at me, doesn’t say a damn thing. The tension rolls off him in waves, and as nice as our chat was a minute ago, I cannot wait to get back into the bar and away from him.That’s how Jim Jones has been since the moment I met him. Closed off. Guarded. Letting the walls inch down just enough for me to get a glimpse of the man inside only to bring them up again.A little green light flashes after I punch in the four-digit code and Jim opens the door for me
I pour myself a cup of coffee and sit at the kitchen table, phone in hand. Blinking, still too tired to focus on the bright screen of my phone, my finger hovers over the email icon. I have a handful of new emails, and while I can assume a few are junk, I know the others are from work.If I open it and see a problem, I won’t be able to stop thinking about it. And I already have enough on my mind.“Want some eggs, dear?” Mom turns, looking at me over her shoulder as she scrambles a skillet full of eggs.“You know the answer to that, Mom.” I open Facebook instead. The emails can wait. If something was terribly wrong, someone would have called me by now.“What about over easy?” she tries, knowing I detest eggs. “I can make you pancakes instead.” “You don’t have to, Mom, but thanks. I’ll stick to coffee for now.”“You got in late.” She raises her eyebrows and smile
My phone rings, startling me awake. I rapidly blink, trying to get my eyes to focus. I’m disoriented, and it takes me a few seconds to realize where I am. It’s been so long since I’ve done anything but work, and on my days off I spend most of my time catching up onthe sleep I’ve missed.I feel around on the nightstand for my phone, and have a minor panic attack when I see my mom’s name. Unless it’s my birthday, I always do. And even then, my anxiety goes up every time I see her name on the caller ID.Maybe today is the day the Narcan didn’t work. Maybe today is the day they found him a little too late. “Hello?” I answer, pushing myself up onto my elbows.“Hey, Archie.” Mom’s voice is calm, but that doesn’t mean much. “How’s my favorite doctor?”I let out a breath and realize it’s going on ten o’clock. She’s not waking me up early in th
I cannot believe I had feelings for that asshole.A mere few hours ago, at that. Am I stupid for reading too much into last night? We talked. We bonded. We felt like friends, and for once I thought Jim looked at me like I was more thanjust Jacob’s little sister, who he puts up with solely out of loyalty to his friend.“Alyson!” Rose squeals, walking through the foyer with open arms. “Thank you again so much for helping today!”“Of course,” I tell her as she hugs me. “It was fun.”And it was, other than the ride home from the grocery store where Jim did his best to act like I wasn’t even there. I don’t get it.And they say women are complicated.“Everything looks great. The food smells amazing and those drinks are to die for!”“I had them at a party in Chicago once. They’re too complicated for me to make, but that’s why we invi
“Well, kids, it looks like you’re going to be here for a while.” Mr. Langford hangs up the phone and goes to the window, watching the storm. “A tree fell and knocked out power lines. The road is blocked.”“How bad?” Jacob asks.“Weston said there’s been a lot of damage in town they have to get to first. He’ll keep us posted. I know Alyson and Jim need to leave soon to make it home in time. Though you shouldn’t drive in this rain anyway.”Alyson shifts in her seat, and the collar of her oversized sweatshirt falls down her shoulder. Her hair is in a messy braid, she’s not wearing any makeup, and she’s refused to look at me all morning. She’s done an impressive job of pretending I’m not here, actually. No one else has noticed her go about the kitchen, getting coffee and helping her mom make breakfast and act like it’s just her family sitting around the large island
I look out the window, watching the ground come closer and closer. The plane lands smoothly, and I lean back, yawning for the millionth time on this one-hour flight. I left the hospital at two AM, got home, showered, and slept for an hour and a half, before having to get up and get to the airport.Feeling like I’m walking through a heavy fog, I get a coffee with extra espresso on my way to the baggage claim, and down the whole thing by the time I get my suitcase. There’s a car waiting for me, and it takes effort not to fall asleep on the drive over. Traffic is slow, and while I don’t want to miss anything, the thought of dozing off while stuck in a jam sounds nice right now.Alyson works in the city. I don’t know where she works, or exactly what she does to even begin to describe it to someone, but she’s here. And so are three million other people. I won’t run into her. I shouldn’t even worry about it.
“You have got to be kidding me.” I blink. Once. Twice.Jim Jones is still there. He’s staring back at me, and good Lord, that man looks fine as hell inthat navy blue suit. His dark hair is a little messy, and the scruff on his face enhances the strong, masculine features.I’m instantly turned on. And equally annoyed. What the hell is he doing here?“Alyson? Is everything all right?” Jacob follows my line of sight out the glass door. “What’s wrong?”“Nothing, nothing’s wrong.” I force a smile and look back up. Jacob McMillan works at our sister company and is partnering with me on this new big project. We dated for a while a year ago, and are better friends than lovers. He’s a nice guy, too nice really, and working with my ex isn’t as awkward as I thought it would be.Don’t get me wrong, it is awkward to work with an ex when he’s still in
I look in the mirror, making sure my hair is okay. It’s the morning of Jacob and Kara’s wedding, and I’m not feeling the greatest. I’d say I’m nervous, but I don’t think that’s the case. I got invited back into the wedding party at the last minute, and I really do think Kara feels bad about going psychotic over the details of her wedding.I wasn’t the only one who felt her wrath, and after her sorority sister threatened to drop out, Kara changed her ways. Still, things are tense between us, and Jacob was given shit by Kara for hanging out with Jim. It bothered me, pissed me off even, and then I hit week thirty-nine and stopped caring about pretty much everything except getting this baby out of me.She’s still in there, chilling with no signs of making her debut into the world. She finally dropped a week ago and hasn’t progressed since then.“You look beautiful, babe,” Jim says, coming into t
“Is it just me or is this really awkward?” Alyson leans in, resting her plate of appetizers on her belly.“It’s awkward. I feel like we should leave.”Her aunt Belinda comes over, arms extended. Alyson’s eyes widen, and she nods, putting on a fake smile. We’re at Jacob and Kara’s wedding shower, and Alyson and Jacob’s relatives are more excited about Emma’s upcoming birth and the house Alyson and I are building together than the wedding.Kara has been giving Alyson the stink-eye all afternoon, and Alyson and I retreated to the back of the venue, trying to escape the limelight. Alyson hands me her plate and gets up to hug her aunt. She winces when she stands, making me even more glad she’s done with her job in Chicago. Emma is due in a month and the round ligament pain has gotten worse, as well as Braxton Hicks contractions. She’s been a trooper though, hardly complaining at all. I’ve b
“You’re such a bitch for leaving,” Marissa says, standing next to my desk. “I’m going to miss you.”“I’m here for two more weeks,” I remind her. “And Eastwood is two hours away. Less if traffic moves quickly.”“Which happens so often.”“I know. But I’ll be in the city at least once a month.” “You better tell me every time you’re here.”“I will,” I say and look up from my desk. I put in my two weeks’ notice today. I’d been dreading doing it and actually put it off for a full week before talking to my boss. I’m sad to leave, and part of me will miss this place. But it’s mid-January and I’m so ready to go home and be with Jim.We have a small apartment downtown and have been finalizing plans for our house to be built this spring. Feeling like I’m becoming my mother, I’ve been pinning an
“Everything was perfect at the latest scan,” I say, taking the ultrasound photos from Alyson. We’re at her parents’ house again, two weeks after getting engaged. It’s Thursday afternoon and a bit early for dinner, but Alyson has to drive back to the city tonight for work in the morning. I was able to get back in for an interview at the local hospital, and after talking with the head surgeon again, I think things went as well as they can after you turn down a job because you didn’t think it’d be challenging enough.“The OB thinks she’s going to be big,” Alyson says, cutting into her chicken. “You are looking like a beached whale already,” Owen tells her with a wink. “I think you look radiant,” Logan counters. “Simply beautiful.”“Flattery isn’t going to make you be the godfather, dumbass,” Owen spits, rolling his eyes at his twin.“We already kn
“No?” Jim echoes, face paling.“I want to hear the speech.” I chose Jim’s fingers around the ring. “Ask me like you had it planned.”Jim looks down at the ring. “Are you…are you going to say yes?” “Yes!” I say, and tears fall from my eyes. “I love you so much, Jim.”“I love you too,” he says, wrapping his arms around me. He pulls me onto his lap, and when we kiss, everything fades away. Breathless, I break away, cupping Jim’s face with my hands.“How tired are you?”“Pretty damn tired.”I gently kiss him. “Do you want to get a good night’s sleep and make sure this is what you want?” I ask with a smile.“It’s what I’ve always wanted.” He shifts his weight, holding me close. “I brought the ring to Hawaii with me.”“You’ve had this since the
Isink into the driver’s seat, squeezing my eyes shut for a second before starting the car. I just got home from Boston, and I have a headache. Both from lack of sleep and from everything going on. But after talking with my mother, I knew what I had to do. You make sacrifices for your children, and in the end, they’re worth it.I have two missed calls from Alyson, and it’s been killing me not to call her back. I wanted to wait until I was in the car though, so she wouldn’t hear the sounds of the airport. Leaving the parking garage, I call her, and she answers after the first ring.“Hey, babe,” I say. “Sorry I missed your calls. I was in back-to-back surgeries.”“You’re at work?” she asks, voice flat.“Yeah. But I’m out now.”“Sure.”“Are you still in Eastwood?”“Yep. That was my plan. Stay here this weekend.”&
“Your tummy is big, Aunt Winnie.”“Thanks, buddy. But if you think this is big, just wait.”Jackson scrunches up his nose. “I still don’t get how Jim put a baby in there.” “Hey,” Weston says, shaking his head. “We talked about this.”I try not to laugh, knowing the reaction will only perpetuate the situation. “What did you say?” I quietly ask Wes.“A lot of stuff that confused him even more. But I told him it’s not polite to talk to women about things in their bellies.”“Good call. Raise him to be a gentleman.” I put my hand on my lower abdomen, wincing as I straighten up.“You okay, sis?”“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve been having more round ligament pain the last few days. My OB said it was more common in the first trimester, fades in the second, and comes back at the end. Some lucky people get it the whol
“Your frequent flyer is back.”“Are you serious?” I look up from the paperwork I’ve been filling out for the last twenty minutes, knowing by the nurse’s face she is.“Popped stitches. ER sent him up.”“They can’t do stitches down there?” I grumble.The nurse rolls her eyes. “Apparently ‘it’s internal,’ and he needs to see a surgeon. Like we can just put him in front of our other patients. Do you want me to send him back down?”“No, I’ll deal with it. Thank you, though.”I finish my paperwork and deal with the difficult patient, who had a hernia repaired a month ago and hasn’t followed post-op instructions at all. He’s been in three times since his operation. I do rounds after that, finish my paperwork and finally go home after a twenty-six-hour shift.Another resident who’s been in the program with me sin
I hang up without leaving a message and set my phone down, feeling a little uneasy. I haven’t talked to Jim since yesterday afternoon. Things still weren’t quite resolved between us when we got off the plane, and it’s making the missed calls seem like a bigger deal than it is.I know Jim was in surgery throughout the night and is working again today. He doesn’t usually call if he gets off in the middle of the night, not wanting to wake me up. Though given the way things are unsettled between us, it’s making me worry. And when I worry, I tend to obsess and assume the worst is going to happen. That way if something slightly less traumatic actually does happen, I’m not as devastated.“My bitch is back!” Marissa throws her arms up and comes into my office. “It was so boring around here without you last week. How was vacay?”“Fun,” I tell her with a smile. And it was, up until the plane ride home