4

I only stared at Nikhil,since he didn't answer me.

Seeing him was disturbing.There were a lot of unwanted memories threatening to resurface.

"Sand-",he started out,"Sandeepthi",he acknowledged, nodding his head.

I swallow,flinching at the usage of my full name.

No one called me that.

I swallow the lump in my throat.

How have things gotten so messy?

"Should we take a seat?",he gestured to the swing in the balcony.

I nod absent mindedly.

I had so many questions,so much disdain,so much pain,but overall I had one question hovering in my mind.

Will I come across as desperate if I enquire about that?

I close my eyes, joining him,as I sat next to him.

He ran a hand through his hair,"This is so weird."

"It is",I acknowledge.

"Did you know you were coming to see me?",I ask.

"No",he pinches the bridge of his nose,"I wouldn't have come if I had known."

I close my eyes,my heart racing.

"Are you-Are you in tou-",I stop, unable to complete my question.

But he seemed to understand the question in my head because he winced,"No. I'm not in touch with Dhruv.I haven't seen him since that day."

"Oh",my face falls,my heart shrinking as tears coat my eyes,the wound in my heart cutting deeper.

Why couldn't I move on?

"Are you okay?", Nikhil asks after sometime.

"I'm fine",I smile sadly. We were great friends at one point of time. And now,it was downright awkward to hold a five minute conversation.

"Don't worry. I'll talk to my parents,so we don't go ahead with the proposal."

I swallow the lump in my throat,as I turn to look at him,"Really?"

Nikhil shrugged,"You don't seem to be over Dhruv. And I don't want to marry you if that's the case."

I flinch, thinking back to that fateful day.

"Thank you",I manage, even if I found his statement offensive.

He only shrugged, indifferent,"It's not a big deal. Like I said,if I had known that I had to meet you,I wouldn't have shown up. This is just awkward and embarrassing."

I wanted to scream at him. If that was the case,why did he act differently on that day? Where was the indifference on that day?

"You are right."

I stand, desperate to get out of there.

It was only when we were almost inside the house that my heart stopped at his question.

"Do you still blame me for whatever happened that day?"

I fist my palm,the events of the day flashing in front of my eyes,"It was all of our fault. Not just yours",I walk into the house.

It was difficult task for me to maintain my composure once I showed up in front of the adults. It was emotionally draining to keep my face neutral,to silently sit by my mother's side.

I thanked God that Ananya didn't seem overly enthusiastic to talk to me. We only made small talk,not treading into dangerous waters. She didn't know anything.

By the time the sun sank down the horizon,I was ready to collapse as well,as we bid Nikhil and his family bye.

"What do you think?",I heard my mother ask after a few minutes.

"I have a headache. I'm going to bed",I walk towards my room, shutting the door behind me,as tears stream my face.

I sob to my heart's content,my thoughts bitter and heart pained.

He's probably moved on,happy.

I hug my knees to my chest,crying like I have never cried before.

What should I do to forget him?