Will you be my date?

- Jason -

In the following weeks, our schedules became increasingly hectic as we prepared for our final exams. Joelle and I spent more and more time together either at my place or at hers. I lived alone. I had arrived in Malta with my parents and older sister when I was three years old and grew up here. I started school here having no clue about the languages spoken. We spoke Italian at home, the languages spoken here were English and Maltese. Kevin and Matthew were two of the first friends I made. It didn’t matter to them that I didn’t speak their language. We somehow found a way to communicate and before long we were inseparable. Along the years many people came into my life and left. Matthew and Kevin remained steadfast. There were maybe five or six people in the world I would have trusted with my life and my secrets. Matthew and Kevin were two of those people. Over the years, we had stuck together through thick and thin and knew they would have my back just like I would have theirs anytime.

When I turned seventeen my parents decided to return back to Italy, my father’s country of birth, the country both my sister and I had been born in and spent the first few years of our lives. My sister and I opted to stay behind. We may have been Italian, but this country had become our home now. We had friends here, hobbies and I suspected my sister was also in a relationship at the time, although she never said anything. In view of all this, my parents allowed us to stay in the house they owned. Eventually my sister moved in with two of her friends in a rented apartment and I rented my own place when my parents decided to sell our house. I was lucky. I found a one bedroom apartment within walking distance from campus which was great, as more often than not I overslept in the morning and I could just run to school.

Joelle’s house in contrast was huge. Her mother died at a young age and when Joelle herself was still a child. She had been brought up by her aunt and her dad. Her aunt eventually passed away and all she had left was her father. Her father was more often than not away on business so it was as if she lived alone. While we spent some time at her place studying from time to time, the bulk of the studying was done at my place these days. Joelle always said it felt homelier, whatever that meant, though I had a feeling it had to do more with her nosy neighbors than with anything else.

She proved to be quite a distraction whilst studying. From time to time I used to find myself staring at her and thinking about how beautiful she was. There were times when I wanted to tell her what she meant to me, but now wasn’t the right time. Exams were approaching fast and neither her nor I could afford the distraction. The days grew into weeks and the weeks into months. Our finals arrived. We sat for our written exams and eventually our practicals. Sure enough we both passed and became doctors. It was a dream come true for both of us, a dream we had both worked extremely hard for.

As per annual tradition, Joelle left for a month soon after the exam results were out. Every year she used to meet up with a Finnish friend of hers in a different country and embarked on a month long tour. It was the only time we didn’t talk daily and I missed her dearly. As sexist as it may sound I also worried about her. While I had no doubt Joelle would never take unnecessary risks, they were two females traveling alone, which may potentially have made them vulnerable to various risks.

When Joelle returned, something seemed different about her, but I couldn't quite pinpoint what had changed. She became increasingly more distant and while we still talked regularly she was no longer the Joelle I knew. Our graduation ball was coming up. We had talked about going together before she went away, but I wanted her to go with me as my date.

“Joelle,” I told her one Saturday evening whilst we were waiting for Kevin and Matthew to arrive to go to a local pub. “Will you go to the graduation ball with me?” I told her. She burst out laughing.

“Like you have a choice,” she told me, “and since when am I Joelle?” she laughed.

I more often than not called her Bugs when we were alone but for some reason I reverted back to using her name today.

“I’m serious. I want you to go with me as my date,” I told her.

“Date?” she told me, shocked. That’s when I chickened out, so I turned it into a lighthearted moment.

“Yeah, like we arrive together and leave together. You know not like what sometimes happens, people arrive with someone and leave with someone else. Ok I’m blablabing, forget I said anything. Will you go with me to the ball?” I told her. She smiled.

“Of course I will,” she said much to my relief. At least now I knew she wasn’t dating anyone or she would never have accepted.

“Jason, there is something I need to tell you,” she continued. My heart nearly sank. Here we go I thought. She was about to tell me she was seeing someone.

“I am taking a two year internship in a hospital in Norway,” she told me.

“I came across it while I was in Norway and decided to apply. I didn’t think they’d accept me, but they did,” she continued. I was speechless. I had no idea what was worse, her moving away or her seeing someone.

“You’re the first person I’m telling. I haven’t even told my dad yet,” she told me as if that was meant to make me feel better. Eventually I managed to speak.

“When are you leaving?” I asked her.

“The Monday after the graduation ball,” she told me.

“So soon?” I asked her. That was less than two weeks from now. I always supported her in everything. I wanted to support her in this as well, but I couldn’t. I knew that her leaving for this internship would mean the end of us, if there ever was going to be an us. I had to make her change her mind. I needed her to change her mind.

“It’s for the best,” she told me. For the best? What was that supposed to mean and before I could tell her more she swore me to secrecy. She wanted to tell Kevin and Matthew herself, but not till after the graduation ball. She said she wanted to enjoy the last couple of days like old times. I nodded. She changed subject as we saw Matthew and Kevin approaching.

I tried to act normal but Kevin knew something was off the second he looked at me. I hated how intuitive he was and how well he read me. There were times where I swear he knew what I wanted or what I needed more than I did myself. He looked at me with a puzzled look and when Joelle turned her back to speak to Matthew he mouthed a “What’s wrong?” to me. I just shook my head. He wasn’t going to let this one go. So I fell back to speak to him as Joelle and Matthew walked in front of us bickering about something.

“What’s wrong with you?” he told me.

“It’s not my story to tell,” I told him, “She will tell you in time.”

“It’s can’t be good. Man you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he told me. At that point, Joelle turned round.

“What are you two whispering about?” she asked.

“Guy talk,” Kevin replied as he quickened his pace to catch up with her and Matthew leaving me to grapple in my thoughts.