"Kasalanan ko 'to, Dwight," paulit-ulit kong sinabi. Fuck! This was my fault! I should've taken care of them! I should've not let them alone there. I frustratedly raked my hair with my fingers.
"P're, we can't do anything about it." he said, trying to calm me. I tightened the grip of the bottled water I was holding.
I was lucky enough that Dwight helped me. It took me a lot of beating from him for his forgiveness. Alam kong mali ako dahil minahal ko rin ang mahal niya. He also had to go to the psychiatrist. What happened last time was his last blow. I was glad that finally we're back to square but the bond that we had was not the same as how it used to be before.
Fuck! I'm scared... I've never been this scared not until when their lives were on the line.
Mahal na mahal ko sila, e.
Itinukod ko ang kamay ko sa ulo ko at sinabunt
I wasn't able to sleep for the whole night as I had to take care of Jezrel who was peacefully lying.I caressed her hair and kissed her forehead. Pagkalabas ko sa kuwarto nakita ko si Dwight na papasok pa lang sa loob. Tinapik niya ako sa balikat. He placed the foods he brought then we found a place outside the hospital to sit together. We were both holding a cup of coffee, admiring the city lights from where we were."Jezrel is a strong woman," sabi niya saka uminom ng kapeng hawak niya. I couldn't agree no more. Because she was. After all, she was a fighter."I would say this again, Dwight. I'm sorry for betraying you." Humigop din ako mula sa hawak kong venti size. "I couldn't help getting guilty each day for falling for someone out of reach, especially knowing the fact that she was yours." Pagpapatuloy ko.I heard Dwight sighed. "We have already talked about this last time, right? It was my fucking fault, Ash. Inaamin ko na nagpabaya ako.
If there was anything I learned was to hold yourself together. Hold it. Keep it firm. No matter happens. For as long as you can. Because you only have yourself."Mama! Look! Ninang Kiana made me a new dress!" Joella was happily running around wearing the yellow dress. My heart melted seeing my now grown daughter.Ngumiti ako nang malawak sa kanya. "You look pretty, Joella.""Of course, Mommy! It's because you look so beautiful!" I laughed at her remark. "I'm just going to show this to Cholo, Mommy. He kept on teasing me, telling me I'm ugly!""Go lang anak."Everytime I look at my daughter, all I see her was myself back then who was happy, innocent and care-free."Jez, sigurado ka na ba talaga sa desisyon mo?" Diskumpyadong tumingin sa akin si Kiana."Oo naman. Pinag-isipan ko na ito nang matagal. Besides, tama na rin 'yung ilang taon naming pagtatago. It's time to go back."Sumisimsim ako sa iniimon na tsaa. Within the six yea
"What?" I held my breath for a long time, trying to process what he just said. "H-How?"Yumuko siya saka humugot nang malalim na hinga."I... I was really mad at him that I wanted to kill him with my own hands because of what he did to you... to us." He balled his fist as he remembered what happened. I knew where he was coming from. "Everything's a mess when you're away, Jez."I kept my gaze on Asher. But it's already a mess when we cheated on Dwight before. I stopped myself from saying those words."Tell me what happened, Asher. How did you kill Terrence?" I was eager to know the answer."I drove fast and the next thing I knew, I killed him. I was in jail for 2 years, Jez. I couldn'
"Mommy, are we going to Philippines?" kuryosong tanong ni Aiofhe habang nakaupo sa gilid at pinapasadaan ng tingin ang mga magazines. Pansin kong bata pa lamang ay sobrang mahilig na siya sa mga magazines, lalo na kapag tungkol sa mga damit. She's so interested on it.Tumango ako. "Yes nak. Remember Lola Andrea?""Yup. She's your mommy."I chuckled. "She's so pretty and kind like you, anak."Nangingiti siya habang binalik ang atensyon sa pagbabasa.Asher told me he would visit today again. We are also used to his presence. He was wearing a black basic statement shirt and black pants when he arrived. Napansin ko pa ang nakasukbit na gitara sa kanyang likuran. My heart hammered instant
I woke up another day as the rays of the scorching sun came into view."Summer na pala," I told myself as I got up from the bed.Days turned weeks. Weeks turned to years.A year has already passed. Asher was consistently communicating with us right after he flew back to the Philippines. He never missed a day to talk to us even through phone. It was difficult being apart from him again but I have to deal with it. It's his personal issue he wanted to overcome on his own. How brave of him to get therapy after everything that happened. We were all wrecked. I remember the time that I also had to endure PTSD after I gave birth to Aiofhe and the anxiety attacks I had after Terrence abducted me. Those were the darkest moments.I suffered from severe anxiety. The episodes of constant fear and worry that I always felt whenever I thought of Terrence. Na baka pagmulat ko ng mata ay nasa harapan
"What do you want to order?" I asked as I seated. He also sat adjacent to me."Just a juice will do," sagot niya. I ordered his drinks after.Nang makabalik sa upuan ay hindi ko alam kung ano ang unang sasabihin. I inhaled sharply before I spoke."How are you?" Sabay naming nasambit kaya pareho kaming natawa."Okay naman," sagot ko. "Ikaw?""Good. I was actually surprised that you called me. It's been a long time since the last time we met. You still look pretty," aniya. Nahiya naman ako nang kaunti sa sinabi niya."You and your compliments." I laughed."It's true. You've been alwa
"Bilib din ako sa inyo no," she told me as her eyes were flaring.Asher came back and stood frozen beside me when he saw Terrence's mother."I did everything I could do to destroy you but you're still happy while we are suffering terribly!""Ma'am, how many times do I have to apologize for what I did?" I looked at Asher who moved forward and stared at her with the same intensity. "Hindi po ba't pinagbayaran ko na ang nagawa ko?""Maibabalik niyo ba ang anak ko?! He could've lived and stayed with us!" She was loudly crying. Nasa labas kami at nagsimula ng mapunta sa amin ang atensyon ng mga tao."Your son did something to us, too! He sexually harassed her and abused her. We never even
After Asher's proposal, I said yes.Bakit pa nga ba namin patatagalin pa kung kami rin naman sa huli? It was our choice to keep each other and we would do it until the last breath of our lives.He was smiling from ear to ear when I told him I wanted to marry him, too. It felt surreal but I hope this happiness won't be taken away within our grasp."Stop smiling. You look crazy," I told him. Hindi ako makatulog dahil sa kanya. Mukha na siyang nababaliw dahil kanina pa nakangiti."Why? You agreed to marry me.""And? Bawiin ko na lang kaya." Kaagad na sumama ang tingin niya sa akin. "I'm just kidding.""What did you say?" Pi