83. Boundaries

[ELARA]

The light seeps through the cracks in the curtains, and I watch the sun rise higher into the sky. I haven’t slept. Not a blink. The hours have passed in silence, but my mind has been loud — too loud. I’ve spent most of the night wrestling with myself, trying to make sense of this knot of anger, grief, and blame I’ve tangled myself in. I keep circling back to the same thoughts, and it’s all centered around Magnus, as if fighting with him in my head will give me answers.

But I know the truth. I’m not really angry with Magnus. He didn’t kill Alina. He didn’t put the dagger in her chest. Still, the fury sits just beneath my skin, restless and aching. I should be grieving for my stepsister. Instead, I’m searching for someone or something to blame.

It wasn’t the right decision.

Those words keep echoing in my mind. I can’t stop them. I replay everything over and over, hoping for a different outcome. If I’d done something different, would Alina still be alive? If Magnus had refused to