Games need to stop

“We need to stop doing this,” I purred as he started to study me with lust. It was written all over his face. My mom was out with his dad and they wouldn’t be back ’till late. Real late, and we were using that time to get to know each other. All over again. 

“It’s not that I don’t enjoy it. It just feels wrong.”

“And that makes you want me even more.”

His eyes were undressing me as we stared at each other. Our eyes continued to be locked as we both headed up the stairs and toward my room. 

“Besides, coming in through the front door is so much easier than climbing the tree. Sorry about the photo. Did I break it?”

I quickly changed the subject, remembering the other night when he climbed into my room and nearly broke the photo. The last one that was taken before he was taken away from me. A hit and run they’d called it. They never caught the person, but I knew that one day they’d find out who did it. Until that day, I kept his photo near my bedside just a reminder that I’d never forget and that not only would I go to college to get a degree, I’d make sure that the person spends the rest of their miserable life behind bars. 

“I told you to forget it,” I said. 

Then I turned away from him but he spun me around. “I know it never stops hurting. I still miss my mom.”

“The only difference is that she was sick and you knew that she was dying.”

He shook his head, “I never knew. She’d booked herself into a hospice and didn’t even bother to say goodbye.”

“Shit, I never knew.”

“You never asked and that’s your problem. You think that you’re the only one with pain. That has had shit happen to them. You’re not the only one.”

He took a deep breath and I expected him to take my hand and tell me that he would make me feel better, but he didn’t. Instead he blurted out, “I’m not in the mood anymore. Maybe tomorrow.”

Before I could say another word, he was back down the stairs and out of the house. I didn’t even bother going to my room. I felt stupid. Pride stopped me from chasing after him and telling him that I didn’t mean what I’d said. I should have told him that I’d acted like a fool. Yet, again pride stopped me from doing that. And as I slumped on the stairs, I began to realize that pride had stopped me from doing a lot of things. I needed to change, not only for my sanity, but for his too. There was only one problem. I didn’t know how to do it. All those brains and those good grades didn’t help when it came to certain things. Especially when it came to showing a little common sense. 

I sat there for what felt like ages, although it could have been only a few minutes. And then I did what he’d been doing over the last few days: I hopped on a bicycle. Unlike him I didn’t have a motor bike of my own, so to say that I felt like the bravest girl in the world was an understatement as I arrived at his house on my mom’s rickety bicycle. 

Thank God!

Unlike my house, which was a two-story house, his was only a single-story one, but there was a bush in front of it and a fence surrounded it. I acted as if I was some kind of ninja as I ran round the neighbor’s side and tried to jump the fence, and, after that failed, climb over it. This plan had sounded like a good one in my head. 

What actually happened was Tom, a jerk who just happened to be in the same classes as me, came out and said, “Hey what you doing on our property?”

“Trying to see Liam.”

He spat out, “That waste of space. If you’re trying to get into any bedroom, it should be mine.”

Keep telling yourself that. 

“I could help you,” he said as he grabbed my hand. I thought about just moving to the front door and knocking on it, like I should have done. 

But by then it was too late. Tom had been drinking and like the true ass that he was, he pulled me closer to him. 

“Can you feel that Adele? It’s ready for you.”

Then out of nowhere, Liam appeared by my side, “Get your fucking hands off her now!”

“Shit, you can have her.”

He pushed me away as if I were a piece of trash. I was too busy trying to catch my breath. I knew what Tom had on his mind. He had a reputation and although no girl had ever reported him. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that he would do something to me against my will. 

“You touch her again and I’ll…”

“What?”

Tom must have regretted asking the question, because before Tom could even ask another question, he was greeted with Liam’s fist. 

As he tried to stand up, Liam grabbed my hand and said, “Don’t you ever do that. Don’t you know who I live next to?”

I nodded, but I was unable to speak. He dragged me to his house, and as soon as he shut the door, I expected him to lecture me. Tell me that I was out of line. Instead he simply said, “Take your bra off!”

“What?”

“Don’t make me repeat it again. I was horny. Ready for you earlier and you had to make me remember. Now I want you to take it away.”

I felt exactly the same way that he did. Whenever anyone brought up Dad, I would do exactly the same thing. Study. Eat. Even go for a jog, anything to take away the pain. 

I lifted up my top and then unhooked my bra. He was standing in the hall and I was still by the door. I knew that I had to obey and as he let out a deep breath he said, “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

There was the light in the hallway and I should have been worried that if someone came up to the door, they could see me. 

But I didn’t care. I wanted him to take me. 

And he did just that as he pinned his weight against me. I couldn’t move; I felt helpless trapped underneath him. 

His kissed me from my neck to my shoulders. There was a hunger in his movement as he started to peel me apart from the inside. I felt his frustration, anger and desire for me and I reacted the same way as he took my nipple in his mouth. He teased it with his teeth as he flicked it with his tongue. Then he moved to my other breast. 

“I want to taste you. Make you come on my tongue.”

I didn’t understand what he meant, but as he moved downward and then continued to kiss my body as he moved in between my legs, I knew exactly what he wanted. He tugged down on my pants.

“Take it off. All off.”

He wasn’t asking me, he was just telling me—or maybe himself—what he wanted. I didn’t even know if he was reacting to me. Part of me didn’t care that Tom could be watching us, wanting to be like us. But he couldn’t do that. No man could make me feel the way that Liam was making me feel right now as his tongue darted into my pussy, and knowing that he was taking my orgasm made me want to give it to him even more. My body trembled as it felt the pleasure he was giving to me. He moved with expertise; I wasn’t naïve enough to think that I was the first girl that he had done this for, but as he stopped for a moment and said, “You taste so fucking good,” I knew that he wanted me just as much as I wanted him. His tongue darted around my clit as he began pushing me to the edge and I held on to his head for balance. All I could do was stand and grab a hold of his hair and moan. Soon his fingers started to join his tongue as his tongue rubbed my clit and his thumb rubbed my G-spot. I knew that I couldn’t control myself any longer as I started to scream. The more I did it and pressed my hips against him, the harder he seemed to do it.

No, it didn’t hurt. 

He was pushing me closer and closer to the edge and he knew it. I couldn’t hold on any longer as he picked up his rhythm and with one last stroke, one last gentle bite on my clit, that was it, and I screamed as if my life depended on it, “Arrh!!”

There was no holding back as my body started to shake and my knees gave way. He jumped up and caught me. I didn’t know where I was going; I could only assume that he was taking me to his room.

“Just say your dad comes back,” I said as he carefully laid me on the bed as if I was a delicate flower. 

“You need to stop pushing me away and accept that there’s something deeper that connects us.”

I ignored him; I didn’t want to be lectured. I’d given him my virginity, but I couldn’t give him my heart. I had to stop thinking like this; we were going to different colleges and we wanted different things in life. 

“Don’t you even think about pushing me away!” He said as he wrapped his arms around me. “We have four weeks until the prom and I’m taking you to it and in between that time we’re an item. I’m not sure about telling your mom and Dad yet. But not because I want to keep it from them. It’s just weird seeing as they’re dating.”

He stopped for a minute; I was sobbing in his arms. I couldn’t face him, but I knew that I would have to eventually. 

“Our parents aren’t coming back till Monday. It seems that my dad is a dirty old man.”

He made me smile and I realized for the first time that no one has been able to do that when there were conversations about my dad. Usually, I argue and cry myself to sleep. I don’t talk about it or even think about getting it off my chest. 

But as the words started to pour out of my mouth. I realized that I wasn’t scared of loving him. I was scared of losing the way that he made me feel. I’d once had one man that made me feel on top of the world all the time. The thought of losing another man who did the same thing felt too unbearable. I started to cry some more and talk a lot more about the past. It didn’t feel so bad then. Not one little bit. If at all.