After the incident during lunch, I seem to have an even more terrible time concentrating in class. I somehow can't believe she talked to me and also how awkward I was. Tory seems to notice the mood I am in and she promises to let me borrow her notes. I'm lucky to have her as a deskmate because there's no way I'm getting through this school term in this state.
I remember my parent:s advise when they dropped me off at school and their expectations and I realize that I have to do better. I tuck our golden conversation at the back of my mind and I'm somehow able to get through the class and even answer a question.I'm so relieved when the bell rings to mark the end of the class."Hey, don't forget to attend the geography group discussion after 4 o'clock tea." Tory is quick to remind me which is good because I'd almost forgotten about it.I rush to the dining hall to take my tea then get back to class, pick my books and proceed to the study hall. Upon getting there, I realize that I'm early and there's no one in sight. I settle down in one of the benches at the corner then open my book to see if I can catch up.The other group members stream in in the next five minutes creating a racket that I'm unable to study anymore. I close my books and join in on the conversation while we wait for two members to start our discussion."I think I'll drop geography when it's time to pick subjects." A girl called Mary announces. In our school system, during the first year, all subjects are compulsory. However, when we get to our second year, we get to choose seven subjects which we would like to study, going forward" Me too, I can't seem to understand anything. I prefer history." Wendy quips in.Sarah who is our group leader cuts off the conversation and decides to start our discussion and having the other two join us in the interest of time. She hands out the assignment and we all turn to question one to start our discussion.We are almost concluding on the first question when the study hall door opens and two people walk in while laughing loudly.We all turn towards them while shushing them for interrupting our discussion. In the position that I'm in, I face the door directly and when I look up, my eyes meet with Rie's who is holding her hand to her mouth in an attempt to quell down her laughter. She is accompanied by Olive who is our classmate and they are apparently the two we've been waiting for. They both walk quietly towards the group and look for a place to sit..There are only two spaces left, both on the bench adjacent to the one I'm sitting on. One is on the far end while the other one is directly infront of me. Somehow, Olive prefers to sit at the far end which leaves the seat opposite mine the only place where Rie can sit.She settles on the seat and looks up while givimg me a brief and apologetic smile. I'm not sure what my reaction is and by God, I hope it's a sweet smile because it feels like a grimace which I quickly stop and adjust my face to what I hope is a calm look.The discussion continues with a few digressions here and there. There is discussion about the upcoming movie night which is supposed to be on Saturday that everyone in school is looking forward to. The conversations as well as the discussions go on vaguely in the background. I find myself looking at, or rather staring at Rie every time that even I find it weird. At one point she turns to catch me looking at her and I quickly avert my eyes."Hey, you don't seem to talk much. Are you okay?" Rie asks while the rest of the group drones on about their movie expectations."Oh, um.. Yeah. I'm just trying to listen to everyone else." I say while blushing. I've never been so thankful for the color of my skin because if I was a shade lighter, I would definitely have turned beet red."That's sweet but you should talk a bit more so people don't overlook you." She smiles while looking directly at me. Her eyes are the most hazel I've ever seen and reflecting the light coming in through the window, they look like two honey pools. They are so hypnotizing I almost get lost in them until I realize I might have let the silence stretch out for a bit far too long."I do talk, you just haven't been around me much." I say quickly while looking down at my book. Luckily, Another person in the group catches her attention which allows me to throw a few furtive glances while she talks. The rest of the discussion goes smoothly and at some point, she nudges me to answer a question after she hears me mumbling the answer. I gain some confidence after that and she keeps smiling at me encouragingly. I think I maybe starstruck because I don't believe it's possible to stare at someone that much. She seems to be oblivious or maybe she doesn't care because everytime she catches me looking at her, she just smiles. I may have an idea how heart attacks happen because everytime she does that, mine literally skips a beat.I promise myself to buy Tory something from the school canteen because this is the best thing she could have done albeit unkowingly. Who knew her feud with Wendy would result in all this.When the bell rings signaling end of discussion, Rie requests that I carry her books to class as she goes to the washrooms.I agree without any second thought and she smiles as if she notices how fast I do.I collect her books and mine then proceed to leave the study hall."Hey, Imani.Wait up!" I turn around and she runs towards me. She throws her arm around my shoulder then drops another book on the pile I'm carrying."I forgot to give you this one."I continue walking and she walks with me to the door with her arm still draped over me. My nose picks up on her perfume which has a sweet, fruity smell to it. My face lights up once again and this time I'm glad it's getting ing dark and she can't see me blush. At the door, she drops her arm and turns back to wait for Olive while I hurry to class.This might have simply been the best day of my life. I was in high spirits after supper and Tory mentioned it. After carrying Rie's books, I dropped them at her desk and despite the little voice warning me, I snooped around a bit. Her desk is organized save for a few sticky notes and pens here and there. She has a slightly loopy handwriting that's adorable. I dropped the books on top of her desk when her deskmate came in and pretended to have dropped my pen. Tory has been nagging me all through night preps to tell her what was making me this happy. I was so glad when the teacher on duty insisted on silence and personal studies until bedtime that way I could avoid her questioning glare. When the bell rang to go to the dorm area. I picked my diary and pen and rushed out before Tory could escape her conversation with Olive. Our dormitory area has several buildings which are divided according to school years to avoid incidences of bullying. I was assigned to one of the few dormitories w
It's on a Saturday, the day we've all looked forward to because we're all going to watch a movie. The week has been boring save for that day Rie spoke to me. We have been on the normal class routine but I have improved on my concentration. I managed to score a really good mark in a random test in geography which is to say a lot because I don't really like geography.Today, as opposed to all other days, we get to sleep in for an extra two hours which honestly feels like heaven because which teenager doesn't like good old sleep? After our morning routine, we attend morning hour preps to around 11a.m then do communal cleaning all over the school.Our class was allocated to clean one of the first year dormitories and I'm excited because Rie, a few other girls and me have the windows. I know there's nothing interesting about cleaning windows but a girl who has crush doesn't care what she has to do to get close to her, including cleaning a dozen windows."Hey, I'm on window duty with you." R
I rub my eyes for the tenth time this lesson. I've been struggling to stay awake ever since our chemistry lesson started. I mean, who fixes a chemistry lesson in the afternoon anyway. All I know is they are discussing something about carbon and the textbook before me keeps swimming in and out of my vision.We have an evening assembly before our four O'clock tea which I'm not looking forward to because it entails a school run. I hate any sort of physical activity that involves using too much energy, sweating or panting but I know there's no way to escape this.Apparently the teacher feels the boredom too because he terminates the class prematurely and assigns some exercise to be done before the next class. I lay my head on my desk to take a nap before the four O'clock bell."You should try to sleep more during the night like a normal person,"Tory exclaims as she hooks her hand through mine. We're walking down the stairs, towards the assembly ground. No, we're actually squeezing through
To be honest,I’m not even sure why I am crying.I have been bawling my eyes out for the last ten minutes.Tory has been rubbing my back,I guess she ran out of things to tell me after the first five minutes.She actually thought that I seriously injured my hand during the fall.“You should go take your tea.”I urge her because she might stay with me the whole time.“Are you sure?I don’t want to leave you alone.” The concern in her eyes makes me want to cry some more.“I’m okay.Besides,I don’t think I want to go anywhere right now so you should not miss your tea.”I’m sure my face is puffy from all that crying.The rest of my classmates are already coming back to class since they went earlier.“I had heard rumours about Lulu from the second years in the dormitory.I thought they were just that.”one of my classmates Amber says.Amber is very social and extroverted.She has friends even in the senior year.One of the perks of that is she gets to know everything even before it happens and also gets
“That was impressive.I didn’t know you could run like that!” Rie says while leaning on Tory’s desk.“Uh..it’s nothing really.” I hank God once again for my skin colour because I am full blown blushing.I can feel my face get really warm and I shyly look inside my desk.“Come on.Don’t downplay it.It was great,the coach actually kept on referring to you throughout the game.I think some girls are jealous of you now.”She says while casually throwing her hand around my shoulders.I think she is very touchy.She gesticulates wildly and always her hands to emphasize her point.I really dislike it when people randomly touch me and often find myself cringing.But her touch feels really safe,I lean into her subtly and wish her arm stays there forever.“What about you?” I blurt out.I immediately realize what I said and pretend to be picking something up which makes her hand roll of my shoulder.“I totally am!That’s why I am buttering you up so you can give me a free training sesh.”She laughs softly.
Alpha house did end up getting the special dinner because,get this,of my exemplary win and several others from my house.We are currently in the dining hall savouring our spaghetti,meat balls and salad.The food is in plenty and we are allowed to have seconds and thirds which everybody gets because we are teenage girls.“And this is for our race track champion!” Rie raises a spoonful of spaghetti in my honour which is imitated by everyone.I cover my face with both of my hands.This is the most attention I have gotten in my life and it doesn’t feel that bad.I realized that when I ran,my mind seems to go quiet.It is like every other thing doesn’t exist and somehow that power propels me forward.I cannot feel or hear anything until I am done and my overactive brain starts again bringing with it all my anxiety and insecurities.“Aaaaw,she is blushing.Another one for her!”Spoons are raised once more.I think Rie is enjoying watching me squirm.I enjoy the attention a little because this is the
Rie just walked past me in the hallway.She was with some of her friends so I think she might not have seen me.I tried to make eye contact with her but she walked past without a glance.The thing is,this is not the first time it has happened this week.She has been avoiding me and only says hi when there are people around.I think our almost kiss is the reason for all this.I try not to think too much of it because it might the type of saving grace that I needed.Maybe her avoidance is good for both of us.I walk fast towards the washrooms before the bell rings to mark end of the break.The funny thing is,the washrooms are where everybody converges for gossip during breaks.We stand in queues sometimes waiting since it seems like the whole population needs to use them at that particular time.It’s also one of the reasons I avoid using them at that time but I could not this time because I feel to pressed to wait.I stand around waiting for my turn while internally cringing.“Have you heard abou
'I had a childhood friend,we were really close.She joined our school way later than everyone else so she had to adapt having found every one already in session.Our school was in a somewhat remote area and therefore,it was hard to get transfer ins especially on the upper classes.Somehow,when she came,we clicked immediately.We were interested in the same things and since our seating positions were determined by our class performance,she was close to me on the top.We hit off and soon we became really close.She became like a part of me.We would share everything from clothes to literally eating food from the same bowl.We would attend functions together,go to church together and dance together.Basically,we were attached at the hip,you saw her and I was right behind and vice versa.When she joined our school,she had to move in with her aunt since her mother was away.She would talk to me about how much she missed her family and also how it was awkward to live with her aunt.I remember one pa
It’s been two days since I came home.To be honest,I haven’t really gotten any time to rest except for when I a sleeping,quite literally.My mother seems to have been counting days till we came home.I think she might actually have put off doing somethings around the house just to find something for me to do.On the first day,we spent it travelling upcountry to see my grandmother.I have not seen that woman for a very long time.My granny is the sweetest woman alive what with her coddling.She never seems to be satisfied with how I look and keeps complaining about how slim I always seem.She then goes ahead to berate my mother about how she is not feeding me enough and she needs to get more ‘strong foods’ for me.Suffice to stay,I’m always stuffing myself while at her place.After that visit,I slept in the next day only to wake up to a list of chores.Like every African mother,cleaning is how to keep kids occupied.We actually clean the house from top to bottom whether it was already clean or no
I end up using public transport to get home because me mom was not available to pick me up from school.I think I might have to get used to it because I need to acquire some sort of independence.I can’t always rely on her to drive me to and from places.In any case,it was sort of fun to travel with Keisha and her friend.After last night,I thought that it was a one time thing just because they saw how sad I was.However,I was surprised when Keisha came to my dorm early in the morning urging me to hurry up and get ready because they love leaving early.I am now looking around and making sure that I have everything I need for my mid-term break.I remembered to pack my diary so that’s out of the way.After going back and forth to my suitcase confirming things for the tenth time today,in the process annoying my cube-mates,I finally give it up and head to the reception where I am supposed to meet Keisha.“Are you ready for the best day of your life?” She asks while pulling me into a hug.I think t
Tomorrow is when we take our mid-term break.This first half of the semester has been tumultuous not with me trying to balance everything.Studies and Rie on top of it all.This last week has been quite busy with out mid-term examinations.To be honest,I don’t understand why we have to take all these examinations just to show that we have been learning.I feel like our curriculum is not all rounded.We did our last paper before lunch and therefore we can relax and wait for the next day.We are going to focus majorly on cleaning to ensure we leave our classes and dormitories clean.I look forward to a few hours of no classes.I feel a little sad about going home tomorrow.I mean,I really miss my mother but at the same time that means that I will not see my friends for the next one week and you guessed right,my main reason is Rie.I have gotten so used to seeing her every day whether we are talking or not and this will be a very big change.It’s just a week but it feels like forever.The other da
Dear Diary,Rie has been acting weird ever since I apologized to her.It’s not a bad weird but it’s different from how she was.She has been doing things that she didn’t do before and I don’t think she does them for anybody else.She now makes sure to get me during meal times,makes me sit beside her and that I eat my food.She also has been making sure to book me seats beside her during group discussions or any other group events.Weird still,she always comes to my bed every night to wish me a goodnight and if she finds me asleep,she makes sure to wake me up.I am not sure what prompted the change.I think that maybe she is trying to much with this friendship thing.Maybe she wants to show me that she doesn’t take whom I like.Or maybe she has what I call the crush syndrome.It’s where she was acting okay before knowing anything but the moment she realized I fancy her,she feels compelled to act some type of way even though she is not interested.It’s like she wants me to still have a crush on
I am currently listening to Liz going on and on about a book she read on evolution.She keeps scoffing and I think she might not like the theories so far.Somehow,I find my gaze falling on Rie who is furiously writing something.She is biting her lip in concentration and immediately my mind goes to that in the field when we almost kissed.My face flushes with warmth at the thought and I quickly turn back to Liz who continues her rant with no notice.I keep thinking of that moment because that’s where she started to avoid me.However,nothing about that indicated that she didn’t want it as much as she did.She kept laying on me minutes after our fall,with no attempt to get off.She knew and saw what was about to happen and even when I leaned in and gave her a chance to move,she didn’t.If anything,were it not for Tory and Olive,we would have probably kissed and would be at home having been expelled now.I keep racking my mind but I can’t find an explanation for her sudden cold treatment.Once Li
'I had a childhood friend,we were really close.She joined our school way later than everyone else so she had to adapt having found every one already in session.Our school was in a somewhat remote area and therefore,it was hard to get transfer ins especially on the upper classes.Somehow,when she came,we clicked immediately.We were interested in the same things and since our seating positions were determined by our class performance,she was close to me on the top.We hit off and soon we became really close.She became like a part of me.We would share everything from clothes to literally eating food from the same bowl.We would attend functions together,go to church together and dance together.Basically,we were attached at the hip,you saw her and I was right behind and vice versa.When she joined our school,she had to move in with her aunt since her mother was away.She would talk to me about how much she missed her family and also how it was awkward to live with her aunt.I remember one pa
Rie just walked past me in the hallway.She was with some of her friends so I think she might not have seen me.I tried to make eye contact with her but she walked past without a glance.The thing is,this is not the first time it has happened this week.She has been avoiding me and only says hi when there are people around.I think our almost kiss is the reason for all this.I try not to think too much of it because it might the type of saving grace that I needed.Maybe her avoidance is good for both of us.I walk fast towards the washrooms before the bell rings to mark end of the break.The funny thing is,the washrooms are where everybody converges for gossip during breaks.We stand in queues sometimes waiting since it seems like the whole population needs to use them at that particular time.It’s also one of the reasons I avoid using them at that time but I could not this time because I feel to pressed to wait.I stand around waiting for my turn while internally cringing.“Have you heard abou
Alpha house did end up getting the special dinner because,get this,of my exemplary win and several others from my house.We are currently in the dining hall savouring our spaghetti,meat balls and salad.The food is in plenty and we are allowed to have seconds and thirds which everybody gets because we are teenage girls.“And this is for our race track champion!” Rie raises a spoonful of spaghetti in my honour which is imitated by everyone.I cover my face with both of my hands.This is the most attention I have gotten in my life and it doesn’t feel that bad.I realized that when I ran,my mind seems to go quiet.It is like every other thing doesn’t exist and somehow that power propels me forward.I cannot feel or hear anything until I am done and my overactive brain starts again bringing with it all my anxiety and insecurities.“Aaaaw,she is blushing.Another one for her!”Spoons are raised once more.I think Rie is enjoying watching me squirm.I enjoy the attention a little because this is the
“That was impressive.I didn’t know you could run like that!” Rie says while leaning on Tory’s desk.“Uh..it’s nothing really.” I hank God once again for my skin colour because I am full blown blushing.I can feel my face get really warm and I shyly look inside my desk.“Come on.Don’t downplay it.It was great,the coach actually kept on referring to you throughout the game.I think some girls are jealous of you now.”She says while casually throwing her hand around my shoulders.I think she is very touchy.She gesticulates wildly and always her hands to emphasize her point.I really dislike it when people randomly touch me and often find myself cringing.But her touch feels really safe,I lean into her subtly and wish her arm stays there forever.“What about you?” I blurt out.I immediately realize what I said and pretend to be picking something up which makes her hand roll of my shoulder.“I totally am!That’s why I am buttering you up so you can give me a free training sesh.”She laughs softly.