As Sam leaves the house, I rip the letter and burn it with a lighter in the fireplace. The last thing I need is for Missy to find it and to start asking questions. Letting Sam go hurts as much as a breakup. Even though we have never been a couple, it still hurts deeply within me. I lie on my bed, in the same spot I used to hold Sam when we were in our youth. I should have told her then that I loved her and wanted to be her boyfriend forever. I can still smell her hair if I close my eyes, the memory of her is beside me.
The morning comes into my window. Missy has called me three times. I text her that I will go out to dinner with her. I need the day to collect my thoughts, for they are everywhere. Eating at my soul like a poisonous viper. The thing about vipers is they rattle their tails and prepare to bite down on their victims. That's how this breakup with Sam has destroyed me. We broke up, confessed our love, and gave each other up in our own way. Cupid doesn't want us to
He doesn't want me. My best friend has let me go. Maybe it's for the best, then why does it hurt like hell? I feel like I've been dumped, and I am getting married to a ghost. So why did I say yes to marrying Mark Lewis? I must have been out of my goddamn mind. Perhaps I liked the idea of Mark, he is, after all, a decent fellow, but I don't know him at all.Robbie doesn't like coffee and has it on rare occasions. Mark drinks his every day with milk and sugar. Robbie loves drinking beer. I don't know if Mark drinks. I have yet to see that side of him. I've slept with both of them, and it was terrific. But maybe that's what sex is, this fantastic feeling people have with each other to feel good and make babies. Being let go by Robbie really hurts. My stomach's in knots.I walk into my bathroom and force myself to throw up. Nothing hurts more than this. I've been rejected by my best friend, the one person I should have always been with. The person I want to hold me in the
For as long as I can remember, Robbie's been a friend. But right now, all I see are his many failings in the art of love. For starters, all he knows is the easy way. He's afraid of the challenge and avoids conflict at all costs. I can't say I'd blame him. But, with two beautiful women throwing themselves at him, I'd be confused too.But this is Samantha Laplow we are talking about. The best girlfriend he always wanted to kiss and hold. Not that it's my business to make him switch sides. They might be with other people, but it's my duty as his best guy friend to make sure he doesn't screw the pooch on this one. And all I can see are the many ways that Robbie Garvie is an idiot.If the woman of my dreams told me she loved me, I wouldn't turn her down. I would have kissed her and made love to her that night. Sam means the world to him. I can't let him forget that. I would never forgive myself if I let two of my friends in love pass each other by. They need an evening away
The last two days have sucked. I've put Sam behind me as much as I can. Missy has been clingy since the Italian restaurant. I've tried to give her grace about it. I know she's insecure that I will leave her. Her last boyfriend left her without a text or warning. I hope I don't turn out like him. If I ever did leave Missy or any woman, I would hope to do so honorably and to their face.My phone vibrates in my pocket. Since I abandoned Sam, I've felt empty and hollow. I haven't felt like myself, not for a few days. Missy has been concerned. I told her I didn't feel well to avoid questions. She thinks I have a stomach bug. I've been faking it and have been letting her take care of me.My phone continues to vibrate. I pick it up. I pray Sam's name doesn't appear. My rejected best friend, crying at my stupidity. My foolishness has sent her away. Her love for me pushed me away. We might be terrible together. Our friendship could end if this didn't work out, and Sam wouldn't
I wake with Robbie half-naked beside me. His muscles are toned even as he sleeps beside me. I've seen him rest beside me over the years when I would run away in the middle of the night into his arms. Only this is different; this is two adults after sex. It's not like prom, where it was a rebellious secret. This is two best friends finding out if they are truly in love or not."Good morning, Sam," Robbie says to me as he turns over to face me. He wipes my hair out of my face and places it behind my ear."Hi, Robbie," I say as I lean in to kiss him. He closes his eyes before our lips touch. The fire ignites, and we've started touching each other again. His touch is like a drug energizing my flesh. With every touch, I want more and more. Mark never made me feel like this. My best friend has intoxicated me with lust.The more Robbie kisses my neck, the longer I want to kiss his lips. On and on, we continue, unable to break away from each other. Before either of us r
Sam finishes getting ready for the day and heads out the door. There's no point in trying to keep her around. We need a few days to think about each other. I don't want to hurt anyone, especially Missy. But I've experienced Sam now, in a more intimate setting, and I can't just give that up or let that go. So last night meant something to Sam and me.Sam tried her hardest to keep her feelings away, but I had to make her say she loves me. It felt good to hear those words leave my best friend's lips. She used to lie beside me when she was scared of what her parents would do to her. So on those nights when she'd come over, I wanted her to love me. I've known Sam longer than Missy, but that doesn't mean we were meant to be together. It's complicated.Percy knocks on the guest bedroom door. My hair looks like I've had sex all night long."Well, I saw Sam leave. How are you feeling," Percy asks?"Oh, I'm fine. Better than fine," I say as Percy hands me a cup of
I return to the house, and Mark looks angry. His arms are crossed over his chest, and his eyebrows are lowered in a narrow position."Where were you, Sam? I tried calling you. My parents have already landed.""I'm sorry. I got caught up in a deep conversation with Hazel," I say, lying through my teeth. I know I look terrible and that my hair hasn't been brushed properly."Why don't I believe you? What are you hiding from me? Sam, I asked you to marry me because I love you. But I can't marry someone who lies to me," Mark says while drumming his fingers against his sleeves."Alright, I was with Robbie. He and I have been fighting a lot lately, and I just want to know that we will still be friends when this is all over."It's sort of true. I'm not about to tell Mark that Robbie and I had the best damn sex I've ever experienced in my twenty-one years of life. I'm still slightly wet from the sex I've had with Robbie. So technically, we had sex twice, an
Falcon Falls, the place where I lost my father and my boyhood in a single moment. Returning there has been haunting me all week. I've never told anyone that I am the reason my father, a war hero, fell to his death on the cliffs on the falls. It was a hunting accident.My first year of high school, my father took me on my first hunting trip. He took me to Falcon Falls. The wind was hardly in the air that day, and the sun was low in the sky. It was cold and crisp, perfect deer hunting weather.My old man wanted to teach me how to hunt. We followed a buck near the falls. My gun got jammed, and before my father could help me, I shot him. The recoil pushed him back over the falls. His body was so mangled from where it smashed on the rocks that they never found a bullet wound. But I know what I did. I know how and where it took place. I'm a murderer in the silence of my thoughts. If I return to Falcon Falls, I am sure it will trigger me to rethink joining the army. After my
Chapter 28: Robbie’s POVThe sign for Falcon Falls quickly approaches my window. The last time I read that sign, my father was alive. His breath was on this earth the last time my eyes gazed at the wooden sign with 'Falcon Falls' carved words in the middle.My heart pounds. My father gave me a pocketknife with my initials on it as well as a compass I found the other day. These are the items I will part with when this weekend comes to an end. I will lay them off the last spot my father stood and bury them beneath the earth.My father was a brave man. He fought for his country. To be free of this pain, perhaps I need to understand how he lived as a man. I could run away and join the army. I promised Missy I wouldn't do that. But I am too confused by her and my feelings for Sam. There is almost no reason for me to stay and wonder what would have happened if I chose one woman over the other.