I was in my oversized sweater while I waited for him to come home. I am restless. I can’t count how many times I practiced what I’m gonna say to him. I didn’t know what to say to be honest. I couldn’t decide on things. I just cried and blamed myself all throughout. That’s why when the lift opened and his figure showed up, I was tongue tied.
”Elijah,” I uttered his name.His dark and tired eyes fixed into me. I stood up to meet him so I could start to explain, but really, no words would come out of me. When I was a meter away from him, I smelled the strong scent of liquor. I knew immediately that he’d been drinking.I reached for his face. “Elijah-””Stay. Away.” he warned.I gasped. Tears clouded my eyes without my own consent. I am hurt but I understand. I pressed my lips and nodded, stepped back a few steps before I opened my mouth to explain.”I-I… I can explain Elijah. T-that…That’s not true.””And what is the truth? Are yo:( -xoxo
I am restless. I stayed for hours sitting on the floor where he left me, before I came into my room just to cry again. I badly wanted to come into his room but that’s not the best decision to do. He probably doesn’t want to see me after saying all those words. All I felt was shame. This relationship is a daydream and a nightmare at the same time. Funny how this relationship turned out like this and I am accountable. Even if I wanted to explain things, doing that will do no good. It will just prolong the pain because the end of the tunnel is still the end of the road. He’s right. He did nothing but to love me and save me from all the agony of my life. He let himself get involved in my life for the sake of my mother’s wish, when in fact my mother is also one of the reasons why his family is dead. My father is his parent’s murderer, while the child is the one who broke him in the end. That kiss may be unintentional, and even if I explain to him what happened aft
To the man who loved me, I’ve been wanting to do this since the very beginning, but never did I have the courage to do this. I wish I could say this all in your face, but I think doing that will just cut us more.I can still remember the first time I saw you. It’s a cold night, my cold birthday night. I’m celebrating my freedom inside my head on the day of my legal age and yet I saw you. You are wearing this dark suit and tie, the first three buttons are unbuttoned. Your dark brown eyes that change color straight looking at me, sitting on our dirty couch, you look so intimidating.Who would have thought that that man would be my knight in shining armor? The prince who’s riding his expensive wheels, is a pain in the ass for me. You ruined everything. That’s how I saw it. I tried to fool you, surrendered myself to you and lure you with my selfishness, just to end up being fooled by
Emma’s POVThere are different kinds of love in this world, but how come there’s only one pain?”Wow! What a miracle to see my evil daughter here,” my father’s first words when he got the telephone that connects from the other line.I look at him plainly. Without any emotion, I stared at him with no sense of empathy.”I am not like you,” I uttered. He laughed and his piano-like teeth showed up.”It’s been what? A year since I came here? This is the first time you visited me. Why? Are you yearning for your lover and now you're gonna blame me? He should be thankful that I didn’t get to come near him.” he said. My lids trembled in milliseconds, having a hard time to hide that I’m affected.”You should be the one who’s thankful. After all what you did to his family, putting you behind bars is not enough.” I told him. His eyes went da
“Here’s the paper works you told me to work unto, Dr. Madrigal.” I smiled at her. She did the same. “Thank you so much, Emma. You work efficiently. Hiring you is indeed the best decision.” I smiled and shrugged. “Congrats to you as well, for having your own clinic.”Her black hair fell on her shoulders when she bowed down. Her skin is a bit tanned because of her race. She’s half Latina and American, so her features are well combined and compliments her so well. I’ve come to know that this was her first time being an independent therapist. She worked as a freelance Doctor before but now here she is. ”I know. Thank you. Make sure you make time on Saturday, I’m throwing a party for this milestone.” I nodded and said sure. I can’t help but to feel a bit envious of her success. I once dreamed to be a psychologist as well but time didn&rs
“Are you sure? I told you, that name is familiar. No wonder!” Zoey exclaimed while I talked to her on the phone. She invited me for a video call after I told her that my ex-boyfriend is dating my boss. ”I… wasn’t expecting that.” I chuckled sadly.Seeing them together made my heart ache of course. I never stopped loving him in the first place. I never stop thinking about him through the year that we’ve parted. Seeing the man who told you that you’re his world and made love with you for nights was never easy to forget. That man used to be mine. And it breaks me even more to see him with another girl, thinking that he’ll do everything he did to me to that girl now and now that other girl is his world. While me, I’m still stuck with the ghost of the past. Zoey sighed. “Do you want me to go home?” I shook my head. “No, I’m fine. Really
That continued for how many days. Starting from that day to Friday he visited Ms. Madrigal. And I won’t lie if I say that I wasn’t affected at all. There were several times that we’ll have some encounters since most of the time that he’ll visit, it’s either Ms. Madrigal has a patient or she was out somewhere.Of course, it was awkward. He’s acting as if nothing had happened between us. I don’t know if that is supposed to be a good thing or am I the only one who’s worried.”Emma, I’m reminding you about the celebration this weekend. You’re in?” Ms. Madrigal asked me.I nodded and smiled.”Great! You can just wear cocktails and such. I’ll send you the address.”I nodded again and thanked her before coming out. The moment I opened the door, I saw Elijah standing in front of it. Like as if he’s been there the whole time that I am in
That whole dinner is a pain in the ass. Who would stay sane when your ex is beside you while his recent girlfriend is on the other side. I was so doomed. He noticed that I’m gawking at his scent so much and that’s so embarrassing. What could he possibly think with those actions I gave him? He might think that I’m still crazy for him. I managed to hold myself until the second course of the menu. That conversation didn’t happen again, gladly. I tried to just focus on whatever it is that’s in front of me while I hear the small talks of the people around me. ”No, you’re allergic to that.” I heard Elijah.I pursed my lips. Even though my eyes are focused on the main dish that was served, my ears are fully indulged in the conversation of the two people on my right side. ”Oh, yeah. I forgot.” Ms. Madrigal laughed. I sniffed and used my fork to remove the vegetabl
“I am not kidding, Elijah. I respect Ms. Madrigal as much as I respect your relationship. So please! Even if this doesn’t mean anything to you or you’re just trying to be casual to me, or whatever it is that’s inside your head, stop! Alright? “ I exclaimed. I just went all the way without actually thinking much of my words and just following what’s inside my mind.“How?” he asked.My brows shot up. “What?””How?” he asked again. “How can you say those words when your actions say otherwise?”I gulped and avoided his eyes. He knows.“You’re asking for me to go back but was that what you really wanted me to do?”I shut my eyes tight and shook my head. No, Emma. He’s just trying to get inside your head. You’re better than that. .“Elijah, please-”
”I can’t believe we’re back here again.” she said with wandering eyes, gracefully seated on the passenger seat.My lips protruded. I played with my lips as I stopped myself from pulling up the car and making out with her. God. How can she manage to be so goddamn beautiful without even trying? Is she purposely doing it to bewitch me more? Cause no need. I’m hell obsessed with her and even if she does nothing, I’m still gonna be head over heels with her. Gladly, we arrived at Long Beach without any delays. I mean, the sense of control that I had to possess. Phew~ “God. It’s been a while. I feel like so much has happened. This brings back the old days.” she spoke when she got out of the car.I encircled my arms to her waist because I’ve been dying to put my hands on her. Nothing, I just want to claim what’s mine. I just want her all the time.
”So you mean, you got back together without telling us?” Zoey asked me with her famous bitch face look. The three of us were left here after the ‘caught’ incident. Elijah greeted them and they were casual with each other. Well, Lulu is casual. Zoey’s a bit aloof and rugged in treating him. I gulped. Because I didn’t know the right answer. Half of it is true and half is not. ”See? You can’t answer.” she crossed her arms and rolled her eyes at me. Lulu is quick to butt in. “Let’s hear her first, Zoey.” ”What’s to hear if she had nothing to say?” I understand Zoey. I’m used to this kind of attitude of hers.“You’re right,” I started. I even heard Zoey say ‘See’ again. “I wasn’t able to tell you guys because things happened so fast. But no, we d-don’t ge
Because of Elijah’s little games, I can’t help but to feel awkward around Ms. Madrigal all day. It’s not that I have something against her, it’s just that I’m shy as we all have this little pretending thing that went on these past two days. We hadn’t talked about it since, so when the time of the day went, I started to step forward and background, whether I talk to her or not. I’m having second thoughts. ”Yes, Ms. Madrigal. That’s all you have for tomorrow.” I said as I reviewed her schedule. She nodded. “Great. That’s good to hear.” I smiled. Usually, after she acknowledges my review of her schedules, I would bid my goodbye already. But since I have these things going on inside my head, I stood on her side looking like a fool. When she sensed that, she glanced at me. My cheeks immediately flushed because of that.I bowed my head, feeling her intent
“Ah!” I screamed. Panting, I looked at my surroundings and saw that I’m in a car. Right. We’re on our way to buy some groceries.”What’s wrong? Everything’s okay?” Elijah curiously asked. Although I’m not sure with myself, I still nodded and smiled raw.Wait. Nothing bad happened to me these past few days. Why do my nightmares suddenly come back? ”Had a bad dream?” he asked. I didn’t answer and just concentrated on adjusting myself. I felt him eyeing me even when his eyes should be on the road. ”Eyes on the road, Elijah.” I said with a warning tone. ”I am asking you.” he answered with his more intimidating warning tone as well. I sighed heavily. The persistent Elijah as always. ”I’m used to it. Don’t worry.” I said. ”You’re used to it?”
Nothing happened. Elijah called a plumber who fixed the water pipes that night. He then went home late at night with his sulked face. We parted awkwardly and I overthought that whole night thinking I did something wrong. I didn’t do anything right? Not until he came inside the bathroom.“Ugh,” I groaned when I woke up. Sunday is supposed to be the day where I woke up with lots of sleep. But now, my head hurts because of thinking the whole night. Still can’t believe it. Am I just dreaming last night? No way.I checked my phone. No message from anybody. I went to the bathroom and looked at the new faucet. I sighed unconsciously. That is not a dream. I took a bath since it’s already late.I’m thinking of running some errands today, like doing grocery shopping because last night was just so embarrassing. For sure Elijah is not used to places like this. But I wasn’t able to think about
“E-Ej, I think, we still have a lot to talk about.” He nodded while his eyes re focused on the road. He’s driving and we’re both on our way to my apartment. Like what he said, he’s gonna take me home. The events are like whirlwind. Everything was just so fast and I can’t cope up with how things are going. It’s like I’m dreaming and I’m loosing some parts of that dream.“We’ll talk tomorrow. For now, you need to rest. I don’t want you depriving your sleep.” he uttered seriously. My lips parted as I look at him. I look at him with so much adoration. I can’t help but to feel so amuse and overwhelmed with what he just said. For a year, nobody told me that. I almost forgot the feeling of having someone to take care of you, to look after you. I fell into this pit of limitations and barriers, thinking that I don’t deserve all that. But here he is.
We stayed in that position for God knows how long. Him, holding my face while our forehead touched each other. My hands are on his chest and I’m just making the most out of the time. I feel at home. I feel like for the whole year I’ve deprived myself from the pain and aches, this is the only time I let myself down like this. At this moment, my pains are so sure; the reasons are clear, and I felt so free. In this world, there are these people that are home for you. Those people that are not just meant to stay for a short period of time but in the long term. And for that I think because those people are meant to give you lessons. You are meant to look for their purpose in your life. And I think his purpose is this. To make me feel safe, always. ”I-I… I don’t understand.” I said with a hoarse voice. ”You don’t have to. I just need your answer. Is one year enough? Or do I have to give you more?”
“I am not kidding, Elijah. I respect Ms. Madrigal as much as I respect your relationship. So please! Even if this doesn’t mean anything to you or you’re just trying to be casual to me, or whatever it is that’s inside your head, stop! Alright? “ I exclaimed. I just went all the way without actually thinking much of my words and just following what’s inside my mind.“How?” he asked.My brows shot up. “What?””How?” he asked again. “How can you say those words when your actions say otherwise?”I gulped and avoided his eyes. He knows.“You’re asking for me to go back but was that what you really wanted me to do?”I shut my eyes tight and shook my head. No, Emma. He’s just trying to get inside your head. You’re better than that. .“Elijah, please-”
That whole dinner is a pain in the ass. Who would stay sane when your ex is beside you while his recent girlfriend is on the other side. I was so doomed. He noticed that I’m gawking at his scent so much and that’s so embarrassing. What could he possibly think with those actions I gave him? He might think that I’m still crazy for him. I managed to hold myself until the second course of the menu. That conversation didn’t happen again, gladly. I tried to just focus on whatever it is that’s in front of me while I hear the small talks of the people around me. ”No, you’re allergic to that.” I heard Elijah.I pursed my lips. Even though my eyes are focused on the main dish that was served, my ears are fully indulged in the conversation of the two people on my right side. ”Oh, yeah. I forgot.” Ms. Madrigal laughed. I sniffed and used my fork to remove the vegetabl