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The only way he knew
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2024-10-29 19:42:56I was in my oversized sweater while I waited for him to come home. I am restless. I can’t count how many times I practiced what I’m gonna say to him. I didn’t know what to say to be honest. I couldn’t decide on things. I just cried and blamed myself all throughout. That’s why when the lift opened and his figure showed up, I was tongue tied.
”Elijah,” I uttered his name.His dark and tired eyes fixed into me. I stood up to meet him so I could start to explain, but really, no words would come out of me. When I was a meter away from him, I smelled the strong scent of liquor. I knew immediately that he’d been drinking.I reached for his face. “Elijah-””Stay. Away.” he warned.I gasped. Tears clouded my eyes without my own consent. I am hurt but I understand. I pressed my lips and nodded, stepped back a few steps before I opened my mouth to explain.”I-I… I can explain Elijah. T-that…That’s not true.””And what is the truth? Are yo
mheyfernandez10:( -xoxo
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”I can’t believe we’re back here again.” she said with wandering eyes, gracefully seated on the passenger seat.My lips protruded. I played with my lips as I stopped myself from pulling up the car and making out with her. God. How can she manage to be so goddamn beautiful without even trying? Is she purposely doing it to bewitch me more? Cause no need. I’m hell obsessed with her and even if she does nothing, I’m still gonna be head over heels with her. Gladly, we arrived at Long Beach without any delays. I mean, the sense of control that I had to possess. Phew~ “God. It’s been a while. I feel like so much has happened. This brings back the old days.” she spoke when she got out of the car.I encircled my arms to her waist because I’ve been dying to put my hands on her. Nothing, I just want to claim what’s mine. I just want her all the time.
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“Ah!” I screamed. Panting, I looked at my surroundings and saw that I’m in a car. Right. We’re on our way to buy some groceries.”What’s wrong? Everything’s okay?” Elijah curiously asked. Although I’m not sure with myself, I still nodded and smiled raw.Wait. Nothing bad happened to me these past few days. Why do my nightmares suddenly come back? ”Had a bad dream?” he asked. I didn’t answer and just concentrated on adjusting myself. I felt him eyeing me even when his eyes should be on the road. ”Eyes on the road, Elijah.” I said with a warning tone. ”I am asking you.” he answered with his more intimidating warning tone as well. I sighed heavily. The persistent Elijah as always. ”I’m used to it. Don’t worry.” I said. ”You’re used to it?”
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“E-Ej, I think, we still have a lot to talk about.” He nodded while his eyes re focused on the road. He’s driving and we’re both on our way to my apartment. Like what he said, he’s gonna take me home. The events are like whirlwind. Everything was just so fast and I can’t cope up with how things are going. It’s like I’m dreaming and I’m loosing some parts of that dream.“We’ll talk tomorrow. For now, you need to rest. I don’t want you depriving your sleep.” he uttered seriously. My lips parted as I look at him. I look at him with so much adoration. I can’t help but to feel so amuse and overwhelmed with what he just said. For a year, nobody told me that. I almost forgot the feeling of having someone to take care of you, to look after you. I fell into this pit of limitations and barriers, thinking that I don’t deserve all that. But here he is.
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We stayed in that position for God knows how long. Him, holding my face while our forehead touched each other. My hands are on his chest and I’m just making the most out of the time. I feel at home. I feel like for the whole year I’ve deprived myself from the pain and aches, this is the only time I let myself down like this. At this moment, my pains are so sure; the reasons are clear, and I felt so free. In this world, there are these people that are home for you. Those people that are not just meant to stay for a short period of time but in the long term. And for that I think because those people are meant to give you lessons. You are meant to look for their purpose in your life. And I think his purpose is this. To make me feel safe, always. ”I-I… I don’t understand.” I said with a hoarse voice. ”You don’t have to. I just need your answer. Is one year enough? Or do I have to give you more?”
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