I know this is not easy but I never thought it would be this hard. Damn. I knew it. I fucking knew it! I feel like I’m slapped by cold ice. It’s shameful. He knows. He knows what I’m trying to do but he didn’t make it clear.
For sure he doesn’t know the purpose of it all. He just knew that I’m trying to hold him on the neck so I can do whatever that I want, right? Or does he know all along?I palmed my face while I’m at my room. Now I’m torn. The child-like attitude didn’t take effect. The bitchy attitude isn’t effective as well. The sweet and submissive attitude is something I can’t stomach, not to say that he’s sometimes acting like a sulky boyfriend. Now what should I do?”He knows now.” I whispered to myself while seeking every cell of my brain to think of plan B’s and C’s or even until Z’s.Should I just pretend that I likeThat gave me something to think about for days. Who might be the reason why they’re all charged at the same time and same case. For sure that is not a coincidence, like Lulu has said.One dinner, Elijah and I were both seated at his dining table while I ate and he seemed to be really busy with his phone the entire time of dinner. While I can’t even eat my food because of the thoughts that’s clouding my mind.His call ended. He continued to touch his food again.”Emma,”I lift my eyes to him with questioning eyes.”Is everything alright?””Yes.”No. I wanna say.”What did you do the entire day?”I sighed because he asked that question again for the second time. I played with my food more using my fork.“I told you, I came to the library again. “ I said with a slight tone of annoyance.
I didn’t have a choice but to bring him with me, or else he’ll be suspicious of me again. It’s almost like watching a sitcom. Entering Lulu’s library, I saw how her eyes widened like an owl and her jaw dropping. If I didn’t call her name, she would have embarrassed herself. I introduced them to each other and I would not explain how awkward that is for me and Lulu.Now, we’re seated on the same table while Elijah is scanning some book on the aisle. We couldn’t even speak to each other because Lulu is eyeing Elijah from time to time. ”Lulu, stop gawking. He might notice you.” I hissed at her. She glared at me. “No shit. Why the hell did you bring him here?” I sighed. “Don’t ask me. As if I want him here as well.” I whispered and pretended to read the book I’m holding. ”What is he? Some sort of body guard?” I didn&
”Open this.” he handed me a box.It’s a quiet early dinner for us. He went home early and didn’t have calls. Actually it’s been weeks since he’d been so delicate when it comes to accepting calls. No calls during the meals and when he’s around me. ”What’s this?” I asked curiously.It’s a white box with a pantone shade of pink ribbon. It’s not that heavy. He just suddenly put that box on the table after dinner.I glanced at him with questioning eyes. “It’s not my birthday.”He smirked a little. He’s just touching his lips while looking at me. I sighed and untied the ribbon. He’s spoiling it that much huh?”A piece of clothing?” I asked. I looked at him again. He shrugged his shoulders.I pursed my lips. There’s a folded white cloth inside and above it is a small envelope. I raised my eyebrows and got it. I read the paper inside it.There’s the name and the logo of a university, I think? Below it is the list of some
I thought it’s really impossible. I made it. I got through almost all of the exams that I did. I failed in some minor examinations but the university took it into consideration. Fortunately, I passed as a senior high school student. It’s more than I expected to achieve. But I can’t also imagine if I’m gonna go to school with kids. Elijah is their contact all along. So I don’t know if Elijah’s trying to use his power or if I was just lucky. But as far I know, I really passed those exams. I’m quite confident. After all, reading books has been my saving grace while I’m locked up in the house for my whole life. No wonder that even though I'm uneducated, I still get to know a lot of things because of the books that I owned and the books in Lulu’s library. Things happened like a flash. The last time I checked I’m still at Elijah’s penthouse, dozing off. Or I’m in the library with Lu
Well I thought he’s still not home. But when I walked in the kitchen. I hear silent curses and some noises.Barefoot and a bit sleepy I entered the kitchen and saw Elijah’s back. I saw him putting back the lid of the pot where I cooked the stew. When he sensed my presence his head turned to me.I look at him with blank eyes. His chest is red and showing because the first three buttons of his dress shirt are open. His eyes look guilty and weary.He came into my direction with fast steps. He held my shoulders right away and I didn’t react to that. I smelled the strong scent of liquor from him. He’s drunk?”I’m sorry,” his first words. “I’m sorry.” he hugged meMy eyes widened. He hugged me but more like he’s weighing on me. His tongue is also twirling that I almost can’t understand what he’s saying.”I didn’t know… I ‘
I became so cold to him after that. Of course he tried reaching out, but I had no time for his shits. Adding the fact that I’m busy with school helps me to get away from him. Starting that day I didn’t dare to wait for him for dinner. In the morning, I purposely wake up early or wake up late just so we will not have any encounters.But not today. I woke up late but when I got out to prepare, I saw him in the living room casually standing there busy on his phone, wearing casual clothes and not his usual formal attire. He immediately hid his phone when he saw me.I saw him scan me from head to toe. I was already in my uniform and I’m about to eat my breakfast. Uh-oh, I guess I’ll just eat at school.I stared at him with blank eyes. The hint of nervousness and attentiveness is embedded in his eyes.”Breakfast is ready.” he said with a crooked smile.”I need to go. I’m late.” I said even though that’s not my original plan. And I’m not even late.
Elijah stopped just where that car is usually parked. He can just drop me in the gates but I know Zoey is waiting for me here because we’ll be going to the library to continue our project. I saw her standing on the spot where we usually wait for each other. ”I’ll pick you up later. What time will you finish your class?” Elijah asked me. ”At two. But I’m not yet sure because we’re still working on a project.” He nodded when the car stopped fully. He immediately got out of the car. Before I could even open the door on my side, he already did it. I went out and his hands that guided me didn’t leave my consciousness. ”Message me then.” I nodded and bowed a little because I didn't want to stare at his handsome face. The wind is a bit strong and the way his hair gets blown by the wind makes him even more good looking.”I’ll go now.” I s
“So you’re telling me that he initiated that sexual tension for the first time?” Lulu curiously asked me, confirming what I just told her.Since it’s Saturday, I went to the library and helped her fix and dust some books. Because later, I’ll be going to Zoey’s house to finish our project.”Yes, I think so.” I answered Lulu.”And you both made up just the next morning?””No, days after.” I spat bitterly. “I don’t even know if that’s called made up. I didn’t agree to anything. He just wants to get everything in his own way.”She didn’t answer me, so I looked to her only to find out that she’s smiling ridiculously. I raised a brow at her.”What?”She chuckled and shook her head. “You know from the very start, based on your stories… Mr. Anderson seems to be a good man.
”I can’t believe we’re back here again.” she said with wandering eyes, gracefully seated on the passenger seat.My lips protruded. I played with my lips as I stopped myself from pulling up the car and making out with her. God. How can she manage to be so goddamn beautiful without even trying? Is she purposely doing it to bewitch me more? Cause no need. I’m hell obsessed with her and even if she does nothing, I’m still gonna be head over heels with her. Gladly, we arrived at Long Beach without any delays. I mean, the sense of control that I had to possess. Phew~ “God. It’s been a while. I feel like so much has happened. This brings back the old days.” she spoke when she got out of the car.I encircled my arms to her waist because I’ve been dying to put my hands on her. Nothing, I just want to claim what’s mine. I just want her all the time.
”So you mean, you got back together without telling us?” Zoey asked me with her famous bitch face look. The three of us were left here after the ‘caught’ incident. Elijah greeted them and they were casual with each other. Well, Lulu is casual. Zoey’s a bit aloof and rugged in treating him. I gulped. Because I didn’t know the right answer. Half of it is true and half is not. ”See? You can’t answer.” she crossed her arms and rolled her eyes at me. Lulu is quick to butt in. “Let’s hear her first, Zoey.” ”What’s to hear if she had nothing to say?” I understand Zoey. I’m used to this kind of attitude of hers.“You’re right,” I started. I even heard Zoey say ‘See’ again. “I wasn’t able to tell you guys because things happened so fast. But no, we d-don’t ge
Because of Elijah’s little games, I can’t help but to feel awkward around Ms. Madrigal all day. It’s not that I have something against her, it’s just that I’m shy as we all have this little pretending thing that went on these past two days. We hadn’t talked about it since, so when the time of the day went, I started to step forward and background, whether I talk to her or not. I’m having second thoughts. ”Yes, Ms. Madrigal. That’s all you have for tomorrow.” I said as I reviewed her schedule. She nodded. “Great. That’s good to hear.” I smiled. Usually, after she acknowledges my review of her schedules, I would bid my goodbye already. But since I have these things going on inside my head, I stood on her side looking like a fool. When she sensed that, she glanced at me. My cheeks immediately flushed because of that.I bowed my head, feeling her intent
“Ah!” I screamed. Panting, I looked at my surroundings and saw that I’m in a car. Right. We’re on our way to buy some groceries.”What’s wrong? Everything’s okay?” Elijah curiously asked. Although I’m not sure with myself, I still nodded and smiled raw.Wait. Nothing bad happened to me these past few days. Why do my nightmares suddenly come back? ”Had a bad dream?” he asked. I didn’t answer and just concentrated on adjusting myself. I felt him eyeing me even when his eyes should be on the road. ”Eyes on the road, Elijah.” I said with a warning tone. ”I am asking you.” he answered with his more intimidating warning tone as well. I sighed heavily. The persistent Elijah as always. ”I’m used to it. Don’t worry.” I said. ”You’re used to it?”
Nothing happened. Elijah called a plumber who fixed the water pipes that night. He then went home late at night with his sulked face. We parted awkwardly and I overthought that whole night thinking I did something wrong. I didn’t do anything right? Not until he came inside the bathroom.“Ugh,” I groaned when I woke up. Sunday is supposed to be the day where I woke up with lots of sleep. But now, my head hurts because of thinking the whole night. Still can’t believe it. Am I just dreaming last night? No way.I checked my phone. No message from anybody. I went to the bathroom and looked at the new faucet. I sighed unconsciously. That is not a dream. I took a bath since it’s already late.I’m thinking of running some errands today, like doing grocery shopping because last night was just so embarrassing. For sure Elijah is not used to places like this. But I wasn’t able to think about
“E-Ej, I think, we still have a lot to talk about.” He nodded while his eyes re focused on the road. He’s driving and we’re both on our way to my apartment. Like what he said, he’s gonna take me home. The events are like whirlwind. Everything was just so fast and I can’t cope up with how things are going. It’s like I’m dreaming and I’m loosing some parts of that dream.“We’ll talk tomorrow. For now, you need to rest. I don’t want you depriving your sleep.” he uttered seriously. My lips parted as I look at him. I look at him with so much adoration. I can’t help but to feel so amuse and overwhelmed with what he just said. For a year, nobody told me that. I almost forgot the feeling of having someone to take care of you, to look after you. I fell into this pit of limitations and barriers, thinking that I don’t deserve all that. But here he is.
We stayed in that position for God knows how long. Him, holding my face while our forehead touched each other. My hands are on his chest and I’m just making the most out of the time. I feel at home. I feel like for the whole year I’ve deprived myself from the pain and aches, this is the only time I let myself down like this. At this moment, my pains are so sure; the reasons are clear, and I felt so free. In this world, there are these people that are home for you. Those people that are not just meant to stay for a short period of time but in the long term. And for that I think because those people are meant to give you lessons. You are meant to look for their purpose in your life. And I think his purpose is this. To make me feel safe, always. ”I-I… I don’t understand.” I said with a hoarse voice. ”You don’t have to. I just need your answer. Is one year enough? Or do I have to give you more?”
“I am not kidding, Elijah. I respect Ms. Madrigal as much as I respect your relationship. So please! Even if this doesn’t mean anything to you or you’re just trying to be casual to me, or whatever it is that’s inside your head, stop! Alright? “ I exclaimed. I just went all the way without actually thinking much of my words and just following what’s inside my mind.“How?” he asked.My brows shot up. “What?””How?” he asked again. “How can you say those words when your actions say otherwise?”I gulped and avoided his eyes. He knows.“You’re asking for me to go back but was that what you really wanted me to do?”I shut my eyes tight and shook my head. No, Emma. He’s just trying to get inside your head. You’re better than that. .“Elijah, please-”
That whole dinner is a pain in the ass. Who would stay sane when your ex is beside you while his recent girlfriend is on the other side. I was so doomed. He noticed that I’m gawking at his scent so much and that’s so embarrassing. What could he possibly think with those actions I gave him? He might think that I’m still crazy for him. I managed to hold myself until the second course of the menu. That conversation didn’t happen again, gladly. I tried to just focus on whatever it is that’s in front of me while I hear the small talks of the people around me. ”No, you’re allergic to that.” I heard Elijah.I pursed my lips. Even though my eyes are focused on the main dish that was served, my ears are fully indulged in the conversation of the two people on my right side. ”Oh, yeah. I forgot.” Ms. Madrigal laughed. I sniffed and used my fork to remove the vegetabl