Well I thought he’s still not home. But when I walked in the kitchen. I hear silent curses and some noises.
Barefoot and a bit sleepy I entered the kitchen and saw Elijah’s back. I saw him putting back the lid of the pot where I cooked the stew. When he sensed my presence his head turned to me.I look at him with blank eyes. His chest is red and showing because the first three buttons of his dress shirt are open. His eyes look guilty and weary.He came into my direction with fast steps. He held my shoulders right away and I didn’t react to that. I smelled the strong scent of liquor from him. He’s drunk?”I’m sorry,” his first words. “I’m sorry.” he hugged meMy eyes widened. He hugged me but more like he’s weighing on me. His tongue is also twirling that I almost can’t understand what he’s saying.”I didn’t know… I ‘I became so cold to him after that. Of course he tried reaching out, but I had no time for his shits. Adding the fact that I’m busy with school helps me to get away from him. Starting that day I didn’t dare to wait for him for dinner. In the morning, I purposely wake up early or wake up late just so we will not have any encounters.But not today. I woke up late but when I got out to prepare, I saw him in the living room casually standing there busy on his phone, wearing casual clothes and not his usual formal attire. He immediately hid his phone when he saw me.I saw him scan me from head to toe. I was already in my uniform and I’m about to eat my breakfast. Uh-oh, I guess I’ll just eat at school.I stared at him with blank eyes. The hint of nervousness and attentiveness is embedded in his eyes.”Breakfast is ready.” he said with a crooked smile.”I need to go. I’m late.” I said even though that’s not my original plan. And I’m not even late.
Elijah stopped just where that car is usually parked. He can just drop me in the gates but I know Zoey is waiting for me here because we’ll be going to the library to continue our project. I saw her standing on the spot where we usually wait for each other. ”I’ll pick you up later. What time will you finish your class?” Elijah asked me. ”At two. But I’m not yet sure because we’re still working on a project.” He nodded when the car stopped fully. He immediately got out of the car. Before I could even open the door on my side, he already did it. I went out and his hands that guided me didn’t leave my consciousness. ”Message me then.” I nodded and bowed a little because I didn't want to stare at his handsome face. The wind is a bit strong and the way his hair gets blown by the wind makes him even more good looking.”I’ll go now.” I s
“So you’re telling me that he initiated that sexual tension for the first time?” Lulu curiously asked me, confirming what I just told her.Since it’s Saturday, I went to the library and helped her fix and dust some books. Because later, I’ll be going to Zoey’s house to finish our project.”Yes, I think so.” I answered Lulu.”And you both made up just the next morning?””No, days after.” I spat bitterly. “I don’t even know if that’s called made up. I didn’t agree to anything. He just wants to get everything in his own way.”She didn’t answer me, so I looked to her only to find out that she’s smiling ridiculously. I raised a brow at her.”What?”She chuckled and shook her head. “You know from the very start, based on your stories… Mr. Anderson seems to be a good man.
Angelo is Zoey’s cousin. Both of their mothers are siblings, that’s what they told me. I didn’t have the guts to ask much because I don’t want them to think that I’m too curious about their lives.We’re now done with our project. Zoey asked me to stay for a while, since it’s still early I decided to stay as well. I silently sat there. Zoey is talking to someone over the phone when Angelo sat on the steel chair that’s not so far away from me.”Don’t you think we’ve been seeing each other in the most interesting ways?” he blurted.I pursed my lips. I didn’t answer him. I heard him chuckle.“Snob,” he said with a faint voice.”I heard that.””There you go. I thought you're just gonna snob me for the whole time.” he s
I once watched this movie. We were asked to make a reflection out of it. It’s a fictional cartoon story where the young girl is going through something in life while her five different emotions are trying to solve it all for her.I sighed heavily contemplating it. When the girl had been left but only the three emotions, losing Joy and Sadness. I’ve fallen into deep thoughts. In life, we’ve always come to that point when we feel like happiness has left us already, and you are left with almost nothing. Emptiness. Disgust, anger, fear. Those three emotions who control us and act as our defense mechanism. They are allies and it’s agonizing.When a person is left with these three, it can all just cause a huge collateral damage. You’ll just end up hurting people around you, because you were too focused to defend yourself from all the hurt that you’re getting. And that’s saddening.”Who are you?” Angelo asked me after our long silence.I gritted my teeth. “Shoul
”Sibal, did Elijah text you?” I asked, a bit weary.My phone is dead. And we’re currently on our way home. It’s night time already. For sure Elijah is bombarding me with text messages.”Yes ma’am.” Sibal answered.I nodded and rested my head on the car seat after. I don’t know why I feel so tired. It’s been a long day. My mind is blank after hearing all of Angelo’s chitchat. I just know that I have to deal with what's coming my way.Can I really do that? Can I actually fool Elijah and end this all in our own ways? All his plans sound so easy, but in reality it’s not.I looked outside and watched the high skyscrapers. You know that feeling when you have a dream, and that dream feels so far out of reach. I can put Angelo’s words in that way. It seems so impossible, it’s beyond my own ability.”Ms. Hampton.”My thoughts stopped when Sibal called me.”Yes?””Should I tell Mr. Anderson where you went today?”My bro
I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting there without any movement. My mind is in chaos. I’m alone now but my eyes can still see Elijah’s eyes that’s full of hurt asking me questions a while ago. Where did he go wrong? I don’t know. The only thing I know is that I’m the one who’s feeling wrong here. Even though he’s not here, I feel like I should leave because of too much embarrassment and guilt. I palmed my face after a long time. I look at the table that’s served with untouched food. The whole place that’s filled with roses and candles. I felt the guilt dripping in me. He could have done this with the right person, not to me. Out of energy, I came to my room and laid down with no emotion. You know that feeling in your life when you’re stuck between choosing good and bad. As much as I wanted to run away, I couldn’t possibly do that. From what happened a while
I was shivering when I arrived at the place. Sibal drove me to the place and Ros tailed us from behind.”T-this is the Lounge?” I asked Sibal because I wasn’t so sure about things in the vicinity. This part of the city seems to be more active than any other else.”Yes ma’am, I’ll escort you.” he said before he got out of the car and opened the door beside me.As we enter the Lounge, I’m like a stray kitten that’s lost and my only hope is Sibal who’s I’m holding on to. The men at the entrance looked so scary with their bulky physique and as we went on I saw some well uniformed men asking for some things but Sibal took care of it.I wasn’t so sure about things anymore. When we entered the actual Lounge, I didn’t even have the time to comprehend, my first concern was to look for him even though I can't analyze what’s going on in this
”I can’t believe we’re back here again.” she said with wandering eyes, gracefully seated on the passenger seat.My lips protruded. I played with my lips as I stopped myself from pulling up the car and making out with her. God. How can she manage to be so goddamn beautiful without even trying? Is she purposely doing it to bewitch me more? Cause no need. I’m hell obsessed with her and even if she does nothing, I’m still gonna be head over heels with her. Gladly, we arrived at Long Beach without any delays. I mean, the sense of control that I had to possess. Phew~ “God. It’s been a while. I feel like so much has happened. This brings back the old days.” she spoke when she got out of the car.I encircled my arms to her waist because I’ve been dying to put my hands on her. Nothing, I just want to claim what’s mine. I just want her all the time.
”So you mean, you got back together without telling us?” Zoey asked me with her famous bitch face look. The three of us were left here after the ‘caught’ incident. Elijah greeted them and they were casual with each other. Well, Lulu is casual. Zoey’s a bit aloof and rugged in treating him. I gulped. Because I didn’t know the right answer. Half of it is true and half is not. ”See? You can’t answer.” she crossed her arms and rolled her eyes at me. Lulu is quick to butt in. “Let’s hear her first, Zoey.” ”What’s to hear if she had nothing to say?” I understand Zoey. I’m used to this kind of attitude of hers.“You’re right,” I started. I even heard Zoey say ‘See’ again. “I wasn’t able to tell you guys because things happened so fast. But no, we d-don’t ge
Because of Elijah’s little games, I can’t help but to feel awkward around Ms. Madrigal all day. It’s not that I have something against her, it’s just that I’m shy as we all have this little pretending thing that went on these past two days. We hadn’t talked about it since, so when the time of the day went, I started to step forward and background, whether I talk to her or not. I’m having second thoughts. ”Yes, Ms. Madrigal. That’s all you have for tomorrow.” I said as I reviewed her schedule. She nodded. “Great. That’s good to hear.” I smiled. Usually, after she acknowledges my review of her schedules, I would bid my goodbye already. But since I have these things going on inside my head, I stood on her side looking like a fool. When she sensed that, she glanced at me. My cheeks immediately flushed because of that.I bowed my head, feeling her intent
“Ah!” I screamed. Panting, I looked at my surroundings and saw that I’m in a car. Right. We’re on our way to buy some groceries.”What’s wrong? Everything’s okay?” Elijah curiously asked. Although I’m not sure with myself, I still nodded and smiled raw.Wait. Nothing bad happened to me these past few days. Why do my nightmares suddenly come back? ”Had a bad dream?” he asked. I didn’t answer and just concentrated on adjusting myself. I felt him eyeing me even when his eyes should be on the road. ”Eyes on the road, Elijah.” I said with a warning tone. ”I am asking you.” he answered with his more intimidating warning tone as well. I sighed heavily. The persistent Elijah as always. ”I’m used to it. Don’t worry.” I said. ”You’re used to it?”
Nothing happened. Elijah called a plumber who fixed the water pipes that night. He then went home late at night with his sulked face. We parted awkwardly and I overthought that whole night thinking I did something wrong. I didn’t do anything right? Not until he came inside the bathroom.“Ugh,” I groaned when I woke up. Sunday is supposed to be the day where I woke up with lots of sleep. But now, my head hurts because of thinking the whole night. Still can’t believe it. Am I just dreaming last night? No way.I checked my phone. No message from anybody. I went to the bathroom and looked at the new faucet. I sighed unconsciously. That is not a dream. I took a bath since it’s already late.I’m thinking of running some errands today, like doing grocery shopping because last night was just so embarrassing. For sure Elijah is not used to places like this. But I wasn’t able to think about
“E-Ej, I think, we still have a lot to talk about.” He nodded while his eyes re focused on the road. He’s driving and we’re both on our way to my apartment. Like what he said, he’s gonna take me home. The events are like whirlwind. Everything was just so fast and I can’t cope up with how things are going. It’s like I’m dreaming and I’m loosing some parts of that dream.“We’ll talk tomorrow. For now, you need to rest. I don’t want you depriving your sleep.” he uttered seriously. My lips parted as I look at him. I look at him with so much adoration. I can’t help but to feel so amuse and overwhelmed with what he just said. For a year, nobody told me that. I almost forgot the feeling of having someone to take care of you, to look after you. I fell into this pit of limitations and barriers, thinking that I don’t deserve all that. But here he is.
We stayed in that position for God knows how long. Him, holding my face while our forehead touched each other. My hands are on his chest and I’m just making the most out of the time. I feel at home. I feel like for the whole year I’ve deprived myself from the pain and aches, this is the only time I let myself down like this. At this moment, my pains are so sure; the reasons are clear, and I felt so free. In this world, there are these people that are home for you. Those people that are not just meant to stay for a short period of time but in the long term. And for that I think because those people are meant to give you lessons. You are meant to look for their purpose in your life. And I think his purpose is this. To make me feel safe, always. ”I-I… I don’t understand.” I said with a hoarse voice. ”You don’t have to. I just need your answer. Is one year enough? Or do I have to give you more?”
“I am not kidding, Elijah. I respect Ms. Madrigal as much as I respect your relationship. So please! Even if this doesn’t mean anything to you or you’re just trying to be casual to me, or whatever it is that’s inside your head, stop! Alright? “ I exclaimed. I just went all the way without actually thinking much of my words and just following what’s inside my mind.“How?” he asked.My brows shot up. “What?””How?” he asked again. “How can you say those words when your actions say otherwise?”I gulped and avoided his eyes. He knows.“You’re asking for me to go back but was that what you really wanted me to do?”I shut my eyes tight and shook my head. No, Emma. He’s just trying to get inside your head. You’re better than that. .“Elijah, please-”
That whole dinner is a pain in the ass. Who would stay sane when your ex is beside you while his recent girlfriend is on the other side. I was so doomed. He noticed that I’m gawking at his scent so much and that’s so embarrassing. What could he possibly think with those actions I gave him? He might think that I’m still crazy for him. I managed to hold myself until the second course of the menu. That conversation didn’t happen again, gladly. I tried to just focus on whatever it is that’s in front of me while I hear the small talks of the people around me. ”No, you’re allergic to that.” I heard Elijah.I pursed my lips. Even though my eyes are focused on the main dish that was served, my ears are fully indulged in the conversation of the two people on my right side. ”Oh, yeah. I forgot.” Ms. Madrigal laughed. I sniffed and used my fork to remove the vegetabl