If I have a memory about my mother, I vaguely remember. I was so young when my mother and father had their own strokes of life. All I can remember is her face, and that’s because of the single photo she has with me.
I was shaking when I held the tiny photo beside the magazine that Angelo had given me. The woman at the magazine looks a bit different than my mother. She’s well dressed and her hair is up to her shoulders. She’s a bit slim as well compared to mom. But seeing her laugh lines and how her eyes spark as she looks at Elijah who’s the center of attention, my senses just came strongly to me saying that this is my mother.“She’s still alive?” I asked myself, alone in my room. “But why would Angelo give this to me?”
He said I’m lacking research. For sure he won’t give this to me if this has nothing to do with Elijah. He wants to pursue me to help him have our re
It took us a while to get into the place we’re going to. At first I thought we’ll be going to the Lounge since that’s the only thing I knew. But Elijah told me that one of his friends just got back from the navy and their group of friends threw a party for that friend. .That’s one of the things I realized from Elijah. He has this extensive range of people around him. Aside from his friends and colleagues, he knows a lot of people, maybe because of business. And that’s the reason why I am so nervous right now that I’m with him.He is well known. You try to type his name in the search bar and you’ll see a lot of results. Of course, people would wonder how a person like me would be with someone as high as him.”Don’t be nervous. You’ve met some of them before.” he whispered as he brushed his lips to my ears.The house is almost above the hill. I saw cars parked at the extended
“Stop drinking baby. Your liquor tolerance is not that good.””Hmm-Hmm,” I hummed and shook my head.This should be a good night. After hearing all of that from Molly, I started to get a bit too overwhelmed. I just want to enjoy the moment. Every single drop of what’s right now and not about the future.The group became lesser and lesser as the night went deeper, since some had gone home already while some came out and partied with the people outside.”Should we go home now? You need to rest.”I shook my head again because of Elijah’s unending suggestions.”It’s Saturday tomorrow. We’re fine.” I said and sipped the lemon after a tequila shot.He hissed and groaned lightly watching me being a pain in his ass. I giggled and pinched his cheeks.”You’re drunk.” he said more to himself and not to me.&
”What?”I saw his pupils stopped as I said those words. I smiled and looked at him adoringly. I didn’t answer him and settled myself to just appreciate our time here. Well, in this restroom.”Emma!” he nagged.I laughed at him which made him even more frustrated. In one swift move, he scooped me and placed me on the sink making our level meet.”Repeat what you said.” he said with a warning tone.”Repeat what?” I laughed again.He bit my lower lip and I giggled because of how frustrated he is.”Damn that beautiful mouth of yours,” he mumbled. “Tell me. Tell me you love me, again.”He watched my beams as I caressed his hair. This man, the only man that made me feel like this. The only man who told me I’m worth it, the only man who made me feel more than what I deserve. With him, I was never
My brain stuttered hearing the name he mentioned. That literal moment in your life, where you are stuck between understanding and denial. Like, ‘this wasn’t it.’ ‘This was not supposed to be it.’ But this is my reality.Amelia Hampton. My mother, who’s also the woman who took care of him, right? The woman who I longed for my whole life, took care of someone who’s not his blood. And now, I’m starting to question my existence here in his life.A forced smile appeared on my lips as the tears continued to shed. Without any sob, without any whimper - just plain pain.”Mother. You mean my mother.”Extreme hints of defeat and anxiousness appeared in his face.”There! That question must be worth a million dollars, huh?” I spat bitterly.”Baby-””I don’t want to hear your bullshits!” I shouted when he tried to step
“I looked for you. Everywhere. I promise.” I calmed down a bit. He brought me back to the bed again and he kept on explaining on bended knees in front of me. I didn’t speak. I tried to control my emotions and to process everything. ”I almost gave up, Emma. I almost lose hope because looking for someone I didn’t know was not that easy. And your mom only remembers your name and slightest things about you.” He’s right. I don't remember things that much. All I know is her name and if this photo is not with me, I wouldn’t have remembered her face at all. ”But I can’t bear to stop looking for you thinking that you are everything she wanted. She helped me be the person I am today, she helped me when I thought it’s the end for me too. And here you are.” Cloud of tears started to appear in my eyes again.He didn’t do anything wrong. But why
Even after hearing all that from him, something is still lacking. I wanted to ask more questions, I wanted to ask more details. Yet, I didn’t know where I should start. And that just isn't what makes it more complicated, sometimes the past should not be forgotten because that past takes a big part of the future.I wondered, did he really loved me or did he just love the thought of me? The answer? How would I know? I don’t want to ask him. I’m afraid to hear his answers.He convinced me to eat breakfast with him. I am miserably seated on the dining table while he calculates all my actions. When he put the soup in front of me, I asked him questions.”Where is she now?”He sighed and put the spoon in front of me.”I’ll take you to that place when you’re ready.””I am ready.” I said without thinking.He eyed me ser
”Are you sure you want to do this?”I pursed my lips and nodded. I felt him holding my hand tight before he opened the door on his side. He opened the door for me and just by feeling the breeze of the wind, the aura and the presence that’s surrounding me changed right away.”Here,” Elijah led the way for me.Seeing the tombstones of deceased people gives me that kind of empathetic feeling. I’ve never been into a memorial park before, so I must admit that I’m not sure why I’m feeling this heavy.Me and Elijah walked not that far from where that car was parked. When we passed by an old tree, that’s when he stopped.I glanced at him and his eyes spoke already. My head turned to the direction of the headstone that’s in front of us.I was struck. The first sentence got me. Like this is the only moment that it finally sinks into my head.”In loving
Days happened so fast. For the span of two to three days, all of those situations happened like a snap. I was still coping up and trying to accept it all slowly and surely. Like what Elijah told me, the past may be a big part of today, but I won’t gamble my future for depending too much on the past. For now, I’ll focus on what’s on my plate. On things that are important. ”Zoey, everything okay?” I asked her. She seemed out of energy as usual. Usually, she’ll be talking to me endlessly like her mouth is not getting tired but now, she’s just spaced out playing with her food here in the cafe.””Yeah.” I narrowed my eyes on her. ”Actually no.” she sulked and put her cutlery harshly. I sighed heavily. I knew it. ”Why? What happened?” She pouted and looked at me. I was taken back by her intimidating looks at me. Don’t tell me I’m the problem? ”Don’t get me wrong, Emma. I’m not mad at you nor anything. It’s just
”I can’t believe we’re back here again.” she said with wandering eyes, gracefully seated on the passenger seat.My lips protruded. I played with my lips as I stopped myself from pulling up the car and making out with her. God. How can she manage to be so goddamn beautiful without even trying? Is she purposely doing it to bewitch me more? Cause no need. I’m hell obsessed with her and even if she does nothing, I’m still gonna be head over heels with her. Gladly, we arrived at Long Beach without any delays. I mean, the sense of control that I had to possess. Phew~ “God. It’s been a while. I feel like so much has happened. This brings back the old days.” she spoke when she got out of the car.I encircled my arms to her waist because I’ve been dying to put my hands on her. Nothing, I just want to claim what’s mine. I just want her all the time.
”So you mean, you got back together without telling us?” Zoey asked me with her famous bitch face look. The three of us were left here after the ‘caught’ incident. Elijah greeted them and they were casual with each other. Well, Lulu is casual. Zoey’s a bit aloof and rugged in treating him. I gulped. Because I didn’t know the right answer. Half of it is true and half is not. ”See? You can’t answer.” she crossed her arms and rolled her eyes at me. Lulu is quick to butt in. “Let’s hear her first, Zoey.” ”What’s to hear if she had nothing to say?” I understand Zoey. I’m used to this kind of attitude of hers.“You’re right,” I started. I even heard Zoey say ‘See’ again. “I wasn’t able to tell you guys because things happened so fast. But no, we d-don’t ge
Because of Elijah’s little games, I can’t help but to feel awkward around Ms. Madrigal all day. It’s not that I have something against her, it’s just that I’m shy as we all have this little pretending thing that went on these past two days. We hadn’t talked about it since, so when the time of the day went, I started to step forward and background, whether I talk to her or not. I’m having second thoughts. ”Yes, Ms. Madrigal. That’s all you have for tomorrow.” I said as I reviewed her schedule. She nodded. “Great. That’s good to hear.” I smiled. Usually, after she acknowledges my review of her schedules, I would bid my goodbye already. But since I have these things going on inside my head, I stood on her side looking like a fool. When she sensed that, she glanced at me. My cheeks immediately flushed because of that.I bowed my head, feeling her intent
“Ah!” I screamed. Panting, I looked at my surroundings and saw that I’m in a car. Right. We’re on our way to buy some groceries.”What’s wrong? Everything’s okay?” Elijah curiously asked. Although I’m not sure with myself, I still nodded and smiled raw.Wait. Nothing bad happened to me these past few days. Why do my nightmares suddenly come back? ”Had a bad dream?” he asked. I didn’t answer and just concentrated on adjusting myself. I felt him eyeing me even when his eyes should be on the road. ”Eyes on the road, Elijah.” I said with a warning tone. ”I am asking you.” he answered with his more intimidating warning tone as well. I sighed heavily. The persistent Elijah as always. ”I’m used to it. Don’t worry.” I said. ”You’re used to it?”
Nothing happened. Elijah called a plumber who fixed the water pipes that night. He then went home late at night with his sulked face. We parted awkwardly and I overthought that whole night thinking I did something wrong. I didn’t do anything right? Not until he came inside the bathroom.“Ugh,” I groaned when I woke up. Sunday is supposed to be the day where I woke up with lots of sleep. But now, my head hurts because of thinking the whole night. Still can’t believe it. Am I just dreaming last night? No way.I checked my phone. No message from anybody. I went to the bathroom and looked at the new faucet. I sighed unconsciously. That is not a dream. I took a bath since it’s already late.I’m thinking of running some errands today, like doing grocery shopping because last night was just so embarrassing. For sure Elijah is not used to places like this. But I wasn’t able to think about
“E-Ej, I think, we still have a lot to talk about.” He nodded while his eyes re focused on the road. He’s driving and we’re both on our way to my apartment. Like what he said, he’s gonna take me home. The events are like whirlwind. Everything was just so fast and I can’t cope up with how things are going. It’s like I’m dreaming and I’m loosing some parts of that dream.“We’ll talk tomorrow. For now, you need to rest. I don’t want you depriving your sleep.” he uttered seriously. My lips parted as I look at him. I look at him with so much adoration. I can’t help but to feel so amuse and overwhelmed with what he just said. For a year, nobody told me that. I almost forgot the feeling of having someone to take care of you, to look after you. I fell into this pit of limitations and barriers, thinking that I don’t deserve all that. But here he is.
We stayed in that position for God knows how long. Him, holding my face while our forehead touched each other. My hands are on his chest and I’m just making the most out of the time. I feel at home. I feel like for the whole year I’ve deprived myself from the pain and aches, this is the only time I let myself down like this. At this moment, my pains are so sure; the reasons are clear, and I felt so free. In this world, there are these people that are home for you. Those people that are not just meant to stay for a short period of time but in the long term. And for that I think because those people are meant to give you lessons. You are meant to look for their purpose in your life. And I think his purpose is this. To make me feel safe, always. ”I-I… I don’t understand.” I said with a hoarse voice. ”You don’t have to. I just need your answer. Is one year enough? Or do I have to give you more?”
“I am not kidding, Elijah. I respect Ms. Madrigal as much as I respect your relationship. So please! Even if this doesn’t mean anything to you or you’re just trying to be casual to me, or whatever it is that’s inside your head, stop! Alright? “ I exclaimed. I just went all the way without actually thinking much of my words and just following what’s inside my mind.“How?” he asked.My brows shot up. “What?””How?” he asked again. “How can you say those words when your actions say otherwise?”I gulped and avoided his eyes. He knows.“You’re asking for me to go back but was that what you really wanted me to do?”I shut my eyes tight and shook my head. No, Emma. He’s just trying to get inside your head. You’re better than that. .“Elijah, please-”
That whole dinner is a pain in the ass. Who would stay sane when your ex is beside you while his recent girlfriend is on the other side. I was so doomed. He noticed that I’m gawking at his scent so much and that’s so embarrassing. What could he possibly think with those actions I gave him? He might think that I’m still crazy for him. I managed to hold myself until the second course of the menu. That conversation didn’t happen again, gladly. I tried to just focus on whatever it is that’s in front of me while I hear the small talks of the people around me. ”No, you’re allergic to that.” I heard Elijah.I pursed my lips. Even though my eyes are focused on the main dish that was served, my ears are fully indulged in the conversation of the two people on my right side. ”Oh, yeah. I forgot.” Ms. Madrigal laughed. I sniffed and used my fork to remove the vegetabl