Chapter 17

Sitting in the main parlour, I looked over the papers Xander had drafted for my freedom. I traced the ink of my new name with my index finger. It was written in beautiful cursive lettering: Ida Raven.

It felt bizarre to see it written on an official piece of paper. Papers that were supposed to prove my free citizenship in Airedah. I was no longer a slave to the new regime.

Legally binding documents… that were a complete lie.

I thought of my father and mother and silently asked what they would think of their daughter’s new identity. Would my choices to survive for the past decade disappoint them? I had buried the Cardinal name to ensure I did not perish alongside them—but would they approve?

Wouldn’t the fact that I could live secretly ease their deception? The Cardinal line was not dead, not entirely—Princess Cressida still lived inside me. She wasn’t gone, simply hiding until it was safe to come out. But I feared that the new Cressida would never be a sliver of what she once was; she would be something new, mixed between the past and the present. Mixed with Ida.

My mind was sound, but I felt broken inside. Years of hard work had taken a toll on my spirit and body. My limbs were no longer slender and graceful like a princess, they were muscular from the hard labour of lifting heavy things and bringing them up countless flights of stairs, and my skin harboured scars and burns that showed the hardships I had lived through.

My life had been stolen, and I had to live every day with the memories of those I would never see again.

I watched the flames lick the air above the logs. Their dancing light flickered on the papers in my hands. I had half a mind of throwing them into the fire.

Did I want to live the rest of my life as Ida Raven? Would I be able to?

A golden flash caught the corner of my eye and made my lips curve into a small smile. The gold engagement band on my ring finger sparkled in the light of the bright blaze. I thought I could do it if it meant having Xander by my side.

“Yes, I can do it. For Xander.” I whispered to myself.

I accepted his proposal after feeling all the love seeping through our bond. At first, I had been shocked at his question, and I had hoped I could still give him an out once my secret of being a Cardinal was made known. I wanted him to have the choice. My identity could put him in a difficult position. But the way he made me feel in that instant was like a silent promise of acceptance and devotion, despite my past and who I was.

How could I say no to that?

My shoulders slumped against the back of my seat. Xander had left that morning, intending to break the news of our engagement to his parents—well, his father, I corrected myself. Lucia already knew.

I would be lying if I didn’t say it made me extremely nervous. In the duke’s eyes, I was a commoner. Even worst—I had been a slave worker. To his knowledge, I had no titles and no wealth. I had nothing to contribute to his family. I didn’t even have a dowry. I was nobody.

It made my stomach twist into knots.

Following Xander’s morning departure, I had sought solace in the parlour and brought the papers to change my mind. I had done a poor job of it.

I had sat there all day, contemplating what the future held for me, but it did nothing to ease my worry.

I looked outside the window and saw the gorgeous full winter moon. It was huge, with beautiful hints of whites, grays, and blues. It cast enough light to illuminate the tiny snowflakes that drifted lazily over the black forest that lay further away in my window view.

I could not have seen such a sight from my old maid’s room. It had no windows and had been the standard size of a small closet. Just enough space for a bed and a side table. I could have almost touched the walls with my fingertips if I had expanded my arms.

It was close to midnight, and I thought of making my way back to Xander’s chambers. I didn’t know when he’d be back.

One of his conditions when I worked on his floor was that I stayed locked in my room at night. I thought it had been an odd request, but it was easy to respect, and I thought it was getting late.

I had also heard Leo return from his workday a little while ago. He did not seem to be in a chatty mood since he went straight to bed without a word.

I hoped he wasn’t feeling ill.

He was such a sweet boy, and I often wondered how he came into the services of Xander. Leo was well-mannered and had a beautiful glint in his eyes that showed him to be wiser than his mere ten years of age.

That was one downfall of living under Osprey’s rule. He had lost his childishness and became a small adult when he started working.

Xander must have selected him from the children from the workhouse.

Having been part of the slave world, I knew very well that the younger the workers were, the more likely they would be sold off once they were too old and had a mind of their own. They would either stay in the workhouse or be, unfortunately, sold to pleasure houses.

I was happy to have come into this working world as a young adult with a shaved head that didn’t make me look good enough for pleasure houses, or else my life could have been entirely different.

Leo had never spoken to me about his family, which made me think he was an orphan. I thought it was one reason he liked my company so much: he found a kinship with me since our parents were no longer in our lives.

I got up from my seat and went to the fire. I dispersed the coals so they would eventually die down during the night and silently made my way through the dark corridor.

It was eerily silent on Xander’s floor until a deep growl startled me when I passed in front of the big carved wooden door.

Did Xander have an animal in there?

I placed my ear next to it and listened. Nothing. It must have been my imagination.

I heard a loud thump and metal clanking together when I moved my feet, clearly coming from inside the mysterious room.

The massive door muffled the sound, but there was no doubt in my mind that something was in there.

I tested the handle to see if it was locked. It gave way, and I could pull it down. I used my weight to push the door open and tried to examine what was making all that noise.

It was dark, which made it very hard to see anything.

There was a soft panting accompanied by a sudden snarl.

Something gripped the bottom of my dress and tugged hard, pulling me down on my knees with force. I shrieked and tried to back away, squirming backward with my hands and pushing my feet. Once half my body was in the corridor, a medium-sized wolf came over my legs and clamped its enormous jaws on more fabric, missing my thigh muscle, and jerked its head strongly enough to tear the material.

Its eyes were gleaming in the moonlight that shone from the hallway windows.

The beast continued to snap at my legs, trying to overcome me. It lifted me off the ground like I was a rag doll. I noticed it trying to grab my ankle and kicked the wolf in its face, earning me a whimper from it.

I hurriedly got up on my feet and tried to pull the door close. I needed to escape.

The wolf howled ferociously and jumped close to the opening, snapping its maw near my shaking hands. When it bolted toward the door again, it hit it with enough force to help me close it. I crashed my back on the opposing wall just as I heard the soft click of the door latch.

The wooden door shook each time the beast hit it, trying to get out.

I picked up my torn skirt and ran towards Leo’s room.

The sound of its paws scratching the closed entryway still resonated in my ears. I needed to get that boy out of here. What if the wolf broke the door? It wasn’t safe.

I pounded on Leo’s door, but there was no answer. I pulled on the handle and quickly went in. I ran to his bed, which was empty and cold, and he didn’t seem to be in any other adjacent rooms. 

“Ida!”

Xander’s voice echoed anxiously out into the corridor. I quickly went to him.

“What’s happened? I sensed you were in danger.” He said while looking me over. His eyes stopped over the front of my ruined dress, and he pulled on some of the shredded fabric questioningly.

“There’s a wolf in the room. It attacked me! And I can’t find Leo anywhere. We need to get out of here!” I pulled his arm to make him move, but he didn’t budge. When I scanned his face, his eyes were still dark-gray, and his lips were pressed into a thin line.

“Did he hurt you?” Xander asked, concerned but evenly.

“No, when it tried to bite my ankle, I kicked it and was able to close back the door. How are you so calm about all this?”

He pulled me into his arms and exhaled in relief. This was certainly not the reaction I had been expecting.

“Because the wolf is Leo,” Xander replied softly, dragging his fingers between some strands of my hair.

I stilled in his arms. That had been Leo?

“He’s a shifter. I knew his parents before being killed in a raid near the border. I took the boy in to protect him. He has difficulties controlling his shifting. They started not long ago and get worse when the moon is full. I had the room changed and reinforced so we could contain him when he felt a shift overcome him. That’s why I didn’t want you out and roaming the floors after midnight. Leo sometimes has no time to get to the room and shifts in the hallway. It can be… dangerous when his hunting instincts kick in.” Xander sighed and took my hand to lead me back to his room.

“Let me check on him, and I’ll return. He’ll be fine come morning, don’t worry. I should have told you this sooner. I’m sorry, Ida.”

I sat on the edge of the bed, looking at Xander’s back as he made his way out.

My heart ached for the poor boy, and I sincerely hoped he wouldn’t remember me kicking him once the morning came.

I was comforted, however, to know that Leo was in excellent hands with Xander.

He was risking a lot by having a shifter footboy, but it only made me love him more for his compassion toward Leo. You had to be selfless to do such a thing, knowing the consequences it may bring.

At least with Xander, I believed Leo had a fighting chance in this broken world. Many Unnaturals didn’t have that opportunity.