Careless

I picked up my phone as it buzzed, looking to see who was calling.

Father.

I cleared my throat as I tapped on the screen, answering the call. My nervousness grew as he started speaking. I knew I wasn't allowed to go out unless they had something for me to do, but I had decided to go ahead and do it anyway. I was getting bored in the house, and the tension held between our family was nothing more than stifling.

I just wanted some fresh air.

"Where the fuck are you Athena?" He snarled. I could practically see his facial expression through the screen, filled with irritation and frustration.

"At the park, father," I said as politely as I could, keeping my voice low.

"And what do you think you're doing there?"

"I wanted some fresh air. I've been staying in the house too much, and I thought it would be best for me to go outside and take a small walk," I explained with a monotone voice.

I could've sworn I heard his nostrils flaring with anger.

"Come home. NOW," he shouted as he hung up.

I looked down at my screen, sighing.

My father, the leader of  The Spades, wasn't the kindest man on Earth. I wouldn't really call him my father, though. To him, I am just his offspring—something he can use for his own benefit; nothing more, nothing less. Along with my objectification, he tends to be quite verbally abusive, violent, and impatient. But no matter what I think, he is still my father. I am still under him, and I still have to obey every single one of his orders.

I watched the screen go black as I inhaled a deep breath, filling my nostrils with the scent of green grass and blooming flowers.

I wish I could come here more, I thought to myself. I really did, because every time I was actually allowed out of the house, I was usually somewhere filled with the stenches of blood, drugs, or sex.

But as I continued walking, I quickly shook the thoughts out of my head.

There was no point in thinking about something that would never happen. There was no point in being sad about something that never had any hope. There was no point in all of it, because at the end of the day, I was just a pawn in my parents' game.

I was just a toy.

• • •

I pushed open the door, trying to silence the creaking. I peaked in before sliding myself in through the small space and quietly closing the door. A guard came over to me and bowed. I bowed back, putting my finger over my mouth to make sure he didn't make too much noise. He nodded as I slipped away and made a run for it.

"Athena Hendrix. Here. Now."

I stopped in my tracks, my face tensing up.

I inhaled a deep breath in before turning back and dragging myself down the hallway, walking into his office and standing tall in front of him.

"Yes father," I said in a monotone voice as I kept my eyes looking straight ahead of me, my facial expression stoic.

"Why the fuck did you leave the house? Stupid cunt," he chastised. I looked down with a shrug, not caring to respond. I didn't need to argue with him.

"You stay in this house and leave when you're told to. Do you hear me?" I nodded and he spat out a bitter breath. Then silence filled the air for a few seconds before his demeanor seemingly changed and a smug smirk tugged at his lips.

"How was your little walk at the park? Had fun?"

I clenched my jaw. "I don't think much of it."

"Disobey me one more time and you'll never see that park again."

I kept my face straight and my eyes averted off of him, trying to restrain my anger.

"That's what I thought," he said, chuckling with a proud look on his face.

"Now sit down," he ordered. I sat down on the chair in front of his desk as I averted my eyes to him.

He handed me a couple of papers and a flash drive. "Read through all of these contracts and sign the ones you see best fit. I'm too lazy to do them myself. They're not that important, anyway," he said, shrugging. "And the flash drive. That flash drive is filled with documents and contracts, read through all of them and edit them in any way needed. I need them by 5 p.m. You better not fuck any of it up," he finished, practically spitting out the last part. I stiffened up and nodded, keeping my mouth shut.

"Okay, that's all. Now get your ass out of my office, you whore."

I stood up, not wanting to deal with any more of his bullshit. I turned to the door and started making my way out of his office. I just wanted to finish all of this, give it to him, and avoid ever seeing him again for the rest of the day.

I slammed the door to my room, locking it behind me.

Pissed, I threw the papers down on my desk and pulled out my laptop before shoving the flash drive in. I opened the drive as I counted the files. Thirty. Great.

I pushed my laptop aside, deciding it was best to go through the papers first. As I put the pile in front of me, I thoroughly read each one.

"The Disciples are interested in creating an all-"

Nope, not happening. The Disciples are way too weak for us; we'd get nothing off of it. I threw the aside.

"I, Hayden Campbell, leader of  The Aces-"

Nope, not this one either. The Aces are just too problematic; they'd only get us in more unneeded trouble. I stacked it on top of the other paper.

I paused and let out a long sigh as I stared down at the stack of papers, rubbing my forehead.

This was going to take a while.

• • •

After about three or four hours, I was finally able to close my laptop. I had finished everything, and out of all the papers I had to go through, I only signed two or three. I furrowed my eyebrows with doubt, unsure of whether or not I was too skeptical. I didn't want my father to shout at me; I've already had enough of that for the day. I shrugged as I ejected the flash drive and put it down, deciding to a wait for a couple of minutes before making my way downstairs and giving him the finished work. I jumped on my bed as I examined my room.

Damn, this place was a mess.

I stood up quickly and looked in the mirror. I squatted down, collecting the clothes I had piled up on the floor. I threw them in the laundry basket before organizing my vanity. I put the lotion on one side, perfume on the other, and the cosmetics back inside its box. I rehung my jackets and coats and made sure they were in a colored order: black, navy blue, dark purple, dark red, then gray. I grabbed the broom sitting on the side of my closet, making sure to snatch the dustpan along with it. I swept my room thoroughly and collected the filth with the dustpan before throwing it in the trash bin in my bathroom.

Great, I have my whole bathroom to clean.

I sighed as I set the broom and dustpan outside, deciding to work on the rest of the room after finishing the bathroom.

Luckily, there wasn't much to do. I rearranged my shampoo and conditioner bottles, along with my body washes and body scrubs. I piled the towels on the counter and wiped down my mirror before replacing my toothbrush with a new one. Then I decided to change my shower curtains. I grabbed the black shower curtain stored in the cabinet, quickly taking down the pole and stripping off the crimson red curtain. After I put the black curtain on, I hung it back up before changing the rugs to match. Looking around, I nodded in satisfaction as I headed back out.

I put the broom and dustpan back where it belonged and looked around my room. I shuffled over to my working space and pushed the chair in. I readjusted the position of the lamp on my desk as I cleared the papers. I arranged the markers, pens, and flash drives separately and put my journals to the side. Then I strolled over to my bed, carefully analyzing it.

I should change it up.

I quickly grabbed the black bed sheets stored in my closet, pulling off the sheets that used to match my bathroom's color scheme. Setting up the fabric and fixing my bed, I went ahead and threw the other bedsheets in the laundry basket.

Then came the final cleanup.

I made my over to my "second closet" before opening the doors and looking around. I thoroughly examined the weapons in front of me as I walked into the inventory. There were guns stacked up on the wall, knives and more guns on the tables, different weapons in different places, and bullets everywhere. Grunting, I bent down and started to collect the bullets on the floor. I made sure to put them in the right box under the right gun before rearranging the knives by size. I then readjusted the guns on the wall to my liking, putting all the different brass knuckles in one box afterwards.

I closed the door behind me as I jumped on my bed, finally done with all of it. "Two more minutes and I'll head down," I thought to myself. It was 4:30 p.m, so I still had time.

Or at least, that's what I thought until my father's voice boomed throughout the house.

"Athena Hendrix! Down here now!"

I flinched, quickly getting up and tilting my head in confusion. "I thought he said til five," I spat.

Grabbing the papers and the flash drive, I jogged downstairs. I dragged myself down the hallway before walking to his office and bowing down, keeping my composure. "Yes father," I said as I placed the papers and flash drive in front of me, indicating my completion of the task. He grabbed them harshly, staring me down as if I disgusted him. I only smiled before turning my back to him, heading for the exit.

Finally. I don't need to see him again.

"Not so fast, athena," he snarled. I could hear the smirk plastered on his face. I froze, my body tensing up with irritation. As I turned around, I kept my face straight.

"What do you want, Mr. Hendrix," I snapped.

He raised his hands in the air teasingly, his smug look not leaving even once. "Whoa there, I didn't mean to piss you off. Sorry about that," he said sarcastically.

I looked at everything but him as my blood boiled.

"I have a mission for you tonight," he told me.

My eyes widened with shock as I clenched my fists.

"But you've already sent me on four missions these past two days-" I tried to explain calmly before I was cut off by his laughter.

"That doesn't mean anything, you dumb bitch. I will use you whenever I need to, and you will comply and obey my orders. Don't try to act fucking stupid, you've known your purpose and here you are, trying to reason with me?"

It took everything in me to suppress my anger.

I kept my mouth shut, letting my nostrils flare as I simply shrugged.

"I will call you back into my office once night falls. I'll explain the rest of it later, when you come here with a smile on your face, happier than ever to fulfill your only purpose, you useless cunt," he said as he laughed at his own "joke." I nodded and rushed out of the office, slamming the door behind me and running up the stairs. "Easy on my door!"

I heard another burst of laughter as my nails dug into my hands, scraping the skin off of my palms.

I stormed into my room, closing the door behind me and making sure to lock it. I jumped on my bed, swiftly opening the drawer and picking up the knife that I always kept in my bedside table. I was mad, and I needed to take my anger out somehow.

I looked down at my leg before rolling up a pant. Carefully, I placed the sharpest edge of the knife on my thigh, letting it sink in.

I did it two more times.

I took the edge of the knife and put it against my skin before I started carving.

"D I E"

I looked at the letters as I let a frustrated tear run down my cheek.

My father would die one day, and I would make sure of it.

I jumped off of my bed and went into my bathroom, grabbing some tissue and wiping off the blood before wrapping a towel and pressuring the cuts to stop the bleeding. Once it stopped, I threw the towel in the laundry basket and jumped back on my bed.

I hate this all.

I hate the pain people cause me.

I hate people.

I hate him.