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25: Relationship advice
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2024-10-29 19:42:56My legs feels like lead. Each step weighs a ton. My heart feels like it has been crushed by a dumb-bell. And all I can do is clump my way upstairs, hoping to get into my room without being seen, slump on my bed and cry my eyes out.
When I reach my door, I begin to search for my key, but the damn thing stays hidden.
Exasperated, I turn my bag upside down, allowing all of its content to rain to the floor. My books hit the ground and I don't realize my mistake until my phone falls too, smashing itself to the floor.
I throw my bag aside, bending immediately to pick up my phone.
“Oooh, God!” I grumble when I see the crack my stupid actions has caused me.
This makes me snap, lose every ounce of strength I have and collapse to the floor as I begin to cry into my hands.
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Finding Us 27: Party scatter I
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Finding Us 28: Party scatter II
Caleb doesn't stop on the ground floor as we begin climbing the stairs to the second floor. On our way upstairs, I bump shoulders with someone and then mumble an apology. A couple of steps forward I hear my name. Or I think I hear my name, because when I look back at the sea of people lining the stairwell and beyond, I don't see anyone I might know.Caleb doesn't allow me to dwell much on what I think I heard because he keeps moving, my hand in his grip, and soon, we arrive at a balcony. Aside from the red folding chair and a small table by our left, the place is empty and the air is clear too.“Hmm.” I look over my shoulder and then over the railing at the party downstairs. “It's a bit quiet here.”He chuckles and takes a sip from his cup. “You're like an open book, you know.”I scowl. “What's that supposed to mean?”
Finding Us 29: What to do
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Finding Us 30: Joined at the hips
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Finding Us 31: Dead
Annie flings the door open, interrupting our conversation as Amanda and I jerk at our doors where we're standing.“Ah-ah. What is it? Why are you running like someone they're pursuing?” I ask, peering through the door as she bends over, panting.“Diamond... Dead body... Road... Side.”“Eh? What are you saying?” I ask.Amanda hurries down to the kitchen and returns with a glass of water she gives Annie. Annie moves Amanda's hand aside and straightens, her eyes glistening with tears.It then clicks in my head when I try to piece her words together. “Diamond is dead?!”She nods.Time stops. My heart plummets.Diamond is dead. Diamond is dead. No, it's not true. Diamond isn't dead.
Finding Us 32: Something happened last night
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Finding Us 33: The cold truth
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Finding Us 46: Change happens II
Amanda's birthday is only two days away, and Annie and I want to surprise her. We told the guys, who are in on the plan, and so have been on a hush-hush around her. Although I suspect that Amanda knows we're up to something, Annie says I'm being paranoid.“What do you think Amanda would like as a present?” Dare asks as we enter the gift shop.“I don't really know,” I reply. “If you asked me what Annie likes, I'll tell you it's a headband straightaway. That, and lots of chocolate. But with Amanda, you can never really tell. She doesn't obsess over anything the way I obsess over music and Annie over novels. She's always this meh,” — I shrug — “kind of girl.”He exhales loudly. “That's the same problem I'm having. It's like she's hard to impress.”“Yeah.”We find some beautiful gift wrappings and balloons that we buy.Luckily, Amanda's birthday is on a Sunday (which is in two day
Finding Us 45: Change happens I
After Eric manages to have a bath, the guys disinfect the wound and help him to the bed where he sits.Because they're finished, I tiptoe into the room like the coward I am. Unable to stomach how bad he looked, I vomited in one of the bathrooms and was told to stay outside till they were done.Eric's eyes are closed, and I'm about to leave when he speaks, “This is why you should stick to sewing.”I turn to see his one good eye is opened. Chuckling nervously, I sit beside him.“Chai. See your eye. How are you feeling?” I ask.“Like I'm sitting on pins and needles. My whole body hurts.”“Sorry.” I pout and pat his shoulder. “Are you sure you don't need to go to the hospital?”He nods, takes my hand and interlaces our fingers. My heart skips a beat, but I don't pay any attention to it this time.“Why did those idiots beat you up?” I ask.
Finding Us 44: Beaten up
Annie and I throw ourselves at Amanda when she arrives at the door, almost making her fall back as she laughs.“You people should not kill me o,” she says before we pull away.“I was already planning how I'll come to your house and beat you up if you don't show today,” Annie says, and Amanda chuckles.Just then, Amanda's parents arrive at the stairs with the rest of her bags.“Good morning, sir. Good morning, ma,” Annie and I greet as we hurry over to help them.“God bless you, my children,” Amanda's dad says as they leave the bags for us.We take Amanda's bags to her room and come out to meet her parents — since she said they had something to say to us.“First of all, I want to thank you two for what you're doing for our daughter,” Amanda's dad says. “As a parent, I'm ashamed that I can't even provide for my own child and have to depend on you two.” His eyes water,
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Finding Us 42: Amanda's plight
Staring at my mirror makes me realize how much weight I've put on. Although it's not impossible to have added this much weight. If I wasn't munching on a snack I bought, I was either rummaging the fridge for something to throw into my mouth or checking the cupboard for something to cook — that is if there's no already-cooked food at home.I notice how flabby my stomach is and try to tuck it in. This makes it difficult for me to breathe, so I heave out a sigh.“Don't worry; before two weeks, I'll lose all of these,” I tell myself with a grin.After closing my Bible, I pen the last question I have and then shut my journal.Before I left home, the Head-pastor and I talked about a few specific things I could do when less busy. These things are habits that are very necessary to aid my growth into a better person. These include reading my Bible and journaling my thoughts and findings: at the end of the week, I d
Finding Us 41: One-on-one
I'm slumped on my bed, about to doze off when Joy wakes me.“Dad is calling you.”The journey back from the church's headquarters was crazy long. Although I wasn't the one driving, my body weighs like a bag of cement. And all I want to do is sleep. Not talk.Mom and dad are in their room, so I knock before I'm being told to enter.While mom is unpacking, dad is going through his drawer in search of something.“You sent for me,” I say.He looks up at me before closing the drawer. “Your mom said you're the one that packed my other bag. Where did you keep my shaving stick?”“It's in your bag.” I go over to the bed, open the side-zip of his bag and take out the shaving stick.“You'll be going back to school tomorrow, correct?” he asks as he collects the shaving stick.“Yes, sir.”He tilts the shaving stick over and over
Finding Us 40: Learning to forgive
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Finding Us 39: The truth that heals
“Forgiveness,” the Head-pastor says. “It's the hardest thing for any human to do, yet the easiest thing for our God to do. God forgives so easily, that it amazes me every time. He killed that person, yet the simple fact that he's remorseful is enough to make God forgive him. There's no sin our father in heaven cannot forgive. As long as you are willing to repent; as long as you acknowledge your mistake, and you're willing to turn a new leaf, he's willing to forgive. Do you know why? It's because He loves us. He loves us so much that He's waiting for us, despite all that we do. He's waiting for us to make that right choice.“Just like He forgave David for stealing another man's wife, He forgave the prostitute who saved the Israelite spies. He also forgave the woman who committed adultery and was brought to him to be condemned. Just as He forgave these people and more, He's willing to forgive us.”***While mom and dad are b
