Chapter 7: Casey

It was a real shock to my system to see Max Kendal here. I didn't recognise his scent when he walked in, but then his voice was the one I recognised. His dog tried to locate where I was, but I couldn't remove my hands from my ears. My whole body hurts physically and mentally. It's my first night here, and it's also the first night off the drugs I've been on for years.

They want to wean me off them, so I thought, Why not go cold turkey? Get it over with.

When he left, I felt relieved. It's hard enough living with what the doctor said was survivors guilt, but I wish I wouldn't be here. I'd be more at peace if they had just killed me over there, but then my mom and dad. Do they blame me? That's one reason why I couldn't accept the doctors to call.

What if they blamed me?

What if they disowned me?

What if... what if... what if...

Everything leads back to what if this or what if that. There's no way I'll be able to go back, and I don't honestly think I want to anyway.

I'm pulled away from