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Chapter 9
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2024-10-29 19:42:56What happened was a bit far from what I’ve expected.
After the encounter at the restaurant, he never felt at ease. Prime has been looking around as if he’s trying to spot some criminals who are after us. He seemed to be thinking deeply. And I don’t have the guts to ask him what’s going on. There I was, just staring at his physique.
The concert, it was far from what I’ve foreseen. Maingay ang crowd pero na nangingibabaw ang malakas na tibok ng puso ko. My anxiety hit my core once again. Maging si Prime ay hindi masyadong ngumingiti na madalas naman niyang ginagawa kapag magkasama kami. Actually, I know I have the chance to ask him, but I think that matter is too personal.
Even after the concert, we never got the chance to talk. Wala na rin siguro akong balak itanong ang tungkol doon, ayokong manghimasok sa personal n'yang buhay. Ayos na ako sa kung ano man ang mga bagay na ipinapaalam n'ya sa akin.
The next day, I starte
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Asungot calling… Ano na naman kayang trip nito? "Hello Momshie!" Bahagyang kong nailayo ang phone sa aking tainga. Narinig ko pa ang mahihinang boses nina Ephraim sa kabilang linya. "Oh ano na namang kabaklaan 'yan Brix?" He chuckled. "Gandang bungad ah? Nasa school ka pa?" "Wala, papunta na ako sa coffee shop. Bakit?" "Kasama mo si Papi Optimus?" "Hindi. Wala pa ba d'yan?" "Wala pa, tinatawagan ko nga kaso out of coverage, pero tinext ko naman na," aniya. "Daan ka muna rito Momshie! May mahalagang announcement lang," he added. "Pwede mo nama—" "See you Momshie! Ingat!" Tsk. Asungot talaga. Dahil malapit lang din naman mula sa shop and EXPO, nilakad ko na lang din. Bumungad sa akin ang naghahabulan na sina Ephraim at Brix pagdating ko sa EXPO. "Si Raim oh! May tinatagong kalandian!" naghihikahos na sigaw ni Brix habang hawak-hawak ang phone ni Ephraim.
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"Mang Nestor, una na po kami. Balitaan n'yo na lang po kami 'pag nagising na si Mommy," pagpapaalam ni Brix sa matanda."Sige po Sir, tatawag po ako agad 'pag nagising si Madam."We just nodded at him and started walking towards Ephraim's car.Pagtingin ko sa relos ko ay kalahating oras na lamang bago mag-alas sais. Late na nga talaga ako."Brix!"It was him.Prime is running across the hospital. Ni hindi n'ya kami inantay na makatawid ng kalsada. Dali-dali itong nagtungo sa kinaroroonan namin."Nasaan si Mommy? Is she okay? Maayos na ba ang lagay n'ya?" he said when he's just a few inches away from us."Stable na, pero unconscious pa rin," Brix answered. "Bakit pala kayo magkasama ni Olivia kanina?" dagdag pa nito at pa-simpleng tumingin sa akin.I just rolled my eyes on him. Mag-aasar na naman 'to, panigurado
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I never thought I'd feel this way once again. It has been three years since he was taken away from me. Those years we're spent on longing. I almost believe I'm no longer capable of loving. Well, almost. Not until I met Prime. He made me feel I can still cling to the things I'd forgotten. He made me realize what acceptance can give us. And there will always be a part of me, thanking him for that. We decided to spend some time at Lunti. Well, for the past few days, we frequently go here. Halos dito kami tumatambay 'pag pareho kaming free. He became extra on everything. Not to mention his gestures that turned to be sweeter than usual. I started to examine the things encompassing our position. I can hear the wind whispering that seemed to be a lullaby in my ears, the moisture t
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"Ano ba kasing nangyari at hindi ka na naman natuloy kahapon?"Shillem opened the door on the driver's seat. I noticed she's wearing a peach elbow-length sleeve dress that runs down inches above her knee. Pansin ko lang na nitong mga lumipas na araw, napapadalas ang pagsuot niya ng may manggas. Her wavy brown hair follows the rhythm of the whispering wind. Hawak nito ang pink na paper bag na napansin kong pinupukol n'ya ng matatamis na ngiti.Katakot, nababaliw na yata."Ano 'yan?" Nguso ko sa hawak nito habang tinataasan s'ya ng kilay.She grinned. Umaliwalas ang itsura n'ya. "Cookies, para kay Babi!"Ano? I can't believe her! Noon ay wala naman s'yang pakialam sa mga lalaking lumalandi sa kanya. She even said that she despises those who give gifts to their crushes. Ngayon, kinakain n'ya tuloy ang mga sinabi n'ya."Hindi ka naman gan'yan sa mga ka-fling mo dati, anong pinakain sa'yo no'n?""Duh! Ang technology nga nag-uupgrade, ako pa kaya!"Napangiwi ako. "Uso rin i-upgrade ang lab
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"Ang bigat naman nito, Gail!"It took minutes for Shillem to went down after I call her. Mapungay ang mga mata nito nang makarating, halatang galing sa pagtulog. Sa totoo lang ay medyo nahihiya na ako, lagi ko na lang kasi itong inaabala. Pero wala akong magagawa, wala akong mahihingan ng tulong maliban sa kan'ya, masyado nang malalim ang gabi. Hindi ko rin naman maiuuwi si Prime dahil hindi ko alam ang sa kanila.Napaisip ako. Oo nga, ano? Marami s'yang alam tungkol sa akin pero hindi ko man lang alam kung saan s'ya nakatira. Pinagduduhan ko na tuloy kung girlfriend n'ya ba talaga ako.That thought remained in my mind. Saka lamang ako natauhan no'ng narinig ko na ang sunod-sunod na mahihinang buntong hininga ni Shillem nang nasa loob na kami ng elevator. I even got a quick a sight of her—frowning."Mas lalo kong nararamdaman na single ako…" tunog nagmamaktol iyon at alam kong kahit na pabiro n'ya iyong sinabi, may hibla ng kalungkutan ang boses n'ya.I looked at her apologetically. "
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I was thankful he didn't hear me when I muttered Nana's name. Sa tagal naming magkasama sa banda, ngayon ko lang 'yon nalaman. Sa mga nagdaang taon kasi, hindi rin naman ako gaanong nagtatanong sa personal n'yang buhay. And knowing him, hindi rin 'yon magsasabi hangga't hindi mo tinatanong.I wonder how Nana is. And the reason why she left keeps bugging me.But I'm pretty sure she's happy. Mayroon s'yang mabait at malambing na anak.I was only twelve when she took care of me. Bilib na bilib pa s'ya sa akin no'n dahil imbis na pambatang palabas ang pinapanood ko, mga lalaking nagda-drums 'yon na s'yang ginagaya ko.Back then, I always think I'm way different from the people around me. Lahat ng mga kaklase ko sa elementarya ay nagpapayabangan pa ng makukulay na mga gamit, samantalang ako ay puro itim ang gamit at suot.I once wanted to drown myself in darkness.Sa murang edad ay naranasan ko nang umiyak tuwing gabi. I lost my mother. At alam kong malaking parte rin sa akin ang nawala.I
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It's the usual day, I was adjusting the pedal when someone appeared on my side."Ready ka na para bukas?"It was Prime. Hindi ko alam kung bakit lagi n'ya akong kinakausap kahit na madalas ay tipid na ngiti lamang ang sagot ko."Hindi ko alam, medyo kinakabahan," tugon ko rito bago s'ya balingan ng tingin.Bagsak ang balikat, mapungay ang mga mata at bahagya itong nakanguso kaya kahit pilit ay ngumiti ako sa kan'ya.Did I just made him feel uneasy?But knowing Prime, hindi 'yon titigil hangga't hindi n'ya nakikita ang ngiti mo. And just like what he usually does, there it comes to his hands doing strokes on his brown curly hair."Sure ako na magiging maganda ang performance natin bukas! Syempre andito ako," he cheered me up with an instant wink.Napairap ako. Oo na, magaling ka na.Pero mins
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A year ago...Here I am.Standing nearby the cliff that changed almost every aspect of me means being stabbed by thousands of daggers. A high humidity wet grassland just beneath my feet and the smell of Mid-June air is evident. It has been three years, yet until now, everything is still haunting my system.Ang hirap pala.Ang hirap tanggapin na wala na 'yong isa sa mahahalagang taong naniniwala sa kakayahan mo. I tried to forget about it, however, to no avail. I even lost interest in playing. Sleepless nights, books I've read dozens of times, the last thing I've heard before everything happened were just some of my company for the past few years. And yet the pain, the longing, it's still here, as if it's living in me.Every 13th of June, going here is my thing, bringing a bunch of yellow tulips and tossing it down to the cliff. It has been a routine to the point that this d
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I was thankful he didn't hear me when I muttered Nana's name. Sa tagal naming magkasama sa banda, ngayon ko lang 'yon nalaman. Sa mga nagdaang taon kasi, hindi rin naman ako gaanong nagtatanong sa personal n'yang buhay. And knowing him, hindi rin 'yon magsasabi hangga't hindi mo tinatanong.I wonder how Nana is. And the reason why she left keeps bugging me.But I'm pretty sure she's happy. Mayroon s'yang mabait at malambing na anak.I was only twelve when she took care of me. Bilib na bilib pa s'ya sa akin no'n dahil imbis na pambatang palabas ang pinapanood ko, mga lalaking nagda-drums 'yon na s'yang ginagaya ko.Back then, I always think I'm way different from the people around me. Lahat ng mga kaklase ko sa elementarya ay nagpapayabangan pa ng makukulay na mga gamit, samantalang ako ay puro itim ang gamit at suot.I once wanted to drown myself in darkness.Sa murang edad ay naranasan ko nang umiyak tuwing gabi. I lost my mother. At alam kong malaking parte rin sa akin ang nawala.I
Filling The Abandoned Holes Chapter 14
"Ang bigat naman nito, Gail!"It took minutes for Shillem to went down after I call her. Mapungay ang mga mata nito nang makarating, halatang galing sa pagtulog. Sa totoo lang ay medyo nahihiya na ako, lagi ko na lang kasi itong inaabala. Pero wala akong magagawa, wala akong mahihingan ng tulong maliban sa kan'ya, masyado nang malalim ang gabi. Hindi ko rin naman maiuuwi si Prime dahil hindi ko alam ang sa kanila.Napaisip ako. Oo nga, ano? Marami s'yang alam tungkol sa akin pero hindi ko man lang alam kung saan s'ya nakatira. Pinagduduhan ko na tuloy kung girlfriend n'ya ba talaga ako.That thought remained in my mind. Saka lamang ako natauhan no'ng narinig ko na ang sunod-sunod na mahihinang buntong hininga ni Shillem nang nasa loob na kami ng elevator. I even got a quick a sight of her—frowning."Mas lalo kong nararamdaman na single ako…" tunog nagmamaktol iyon at alam kong kahit na pabiro n'ya iyong sinabi, may hibla ng kalungkutan ang boses n'ya.I looked at her apologetically. "
Filling The Abandoned Holes Chapter 13
"Ano ba kasing nangyari at hindi ka na naman natuloy kahapon?"Shillem opened the door on the driver's seat. I noticed she's wearing a peach elbow-length sleeve dress that runs down inches above her knee. Pansin ko lang na nitong mga lumipas na araw, napapadalas ang pagsuot niya ng may manggas. Her wavy brown hair follows the rhythm of the whispering wind. Hawak nito ang pink na paper bag na napansin kong pinupukol n'ya ng matatamis na ngiti.Katakot, nababaliw na yata."Ano 'yan?" Nguso ko sa hawak nito habang tinataasan s'ya ng kilay.She grinned. Umaliwalas ang itsura n'ya. "Cookies, para kay Babi!"Ano? I can't believe her! Noon ay wala naman s'yang pakialam sa mga lalaking lumalandi sa kanya. She even said that she despises those who give gifts to their crushes. Ngayon, kinakain n'ya tuloy ang mga sinabi n'ya."Hindi ka naman gan'yan sa mga ka-fling mo dati, anong pinakain sa'yo no'n?""Duh! Ang technology nga nag-uupgrade, ako pa kaya!"Napangiwi ako. "Uso rin i-upgrade ang lab
Filling The Abandoned Holes Chapter 12
I never thought I'd feel this way once again. It has been three years since he was taken away from me. Those years we're spent on longing. I almost believe I'm no longer capable of loving. Well, almost. Not until I met Prime. He made me feel I can still cling to the things I'd forgotten. He made me realize what acceptance can give us. And there will always be a part of me, thanking him for that. We decided to spend some time at Lunti. Well, for the past few days, we frequently go here. Halos dito kami tumatambay 'pag pareho kaming free. He became extra on everything. Not to mention his gestures that turned to be sweeter than usual. I started to examine the things encompassing our position. I can hear the wind whispering that seemed to be a lullaby in my ears, the moisture t
Filling The Abandoned Holes Chapter 11
"Mang Nestor, una na po kami. Balitaan n'yo na lang po kami 'pag nagising na si Mommy," pagpapaalam ni Brix sa matanda."Sige po Sir, tatawag po ako agad 'pag nagising si Madam."We just nodded at him and started walking towards Ephraim's car.Pagtingin ko sa relos ko ay kalahating oras na lamang bago mag-alas sais. Late na nga talaga ako."Brix!"It was him.Prime is running across the hospital. Ni hindi n'ya kami inantay na makatawid ng kalsada. Dali-dali itong nagtungo sa kinaroroonan namin."Nasaan si Mommy? Is she okay? Maayos na ba ang lagay n'ya?" he said when he's just a few inches away from us."Stable na, pero unconscious pa rin," Brix answered. "Bakit pala kayo magkasama ni Olivia kanina?" dagdag pa nito at pa-simpleng tumingin sa akin.I just rolled my eyes on him. Mag-aasar na naman 'to, panigurado
Filling The Abandoned Holes Chapter 10
Asungot calling… Ano na naman kayang trip nito? "Hello Momshie!" Bahagyang kong nailayo ang phone sa aking tainga. Narinig ko pa ang mahihinang boses nina Ephraim sa kabilang linya. "Oh ano na namang kabaklaan 'yan Brix?" He chuckled. "Gandang bungad ah? Nasa school ka pa?" "Wala, papunta na ako sa coffee shop. Bakit?" "Kasama mo si Papi Optimus?" "Hindi. Wala pa ba d'yan?" "Wala pa, tinatawagan ko nga kaso out of coverage, pero tinext ko naman na," aniya. "Daan ka muna rito Momshie! May mahalagang announcement lang," he added. "Pwede mo nama—" "See you Momshie! Ingat!" Tsk. Asungot talaga. Dahil malapit lang din naman mula sa shop and EXPO, nilakad ko na lang din. Bumungad sa akin ang naghahabulan na sina Ephraim at Brix pagdating ko sa EXPO. "Si Raim oh! May tinatagong kalandian!" naghihikahos na sigaw ni Brix habang hawak-hawak ang phone ni Ephraim.
Filling The Abandoned Holes Chapter 9
What happened was a bit far from what I’ve expected.After the encounter at the restaurant, he never felt at ease. Prime has been looking around as if he’s trying to spot some criminals who are after us. He seemed to be thinking deeply. And I don’t have the guts to ask him what’s going on. There I was, just staring at his physique.The concert, it was far from what I’ve foreseen. Maingay ang crowd pero na nangingibabaw ang malakas na tibok ng puso ko. My anxiety hit my core once again. Maging si Prime ay hindi masyadong ngumingiti na madalas naman niyang ginagawa kapag magkasama kami. Actually, I know I have the chance to ask him, but I think that matter is too personal.Even after the concert, we never got the chance to talk. Wala na rin siguro akong balak itanong ang tungkol doon, ayokong manghimasok sa personal n'yang buhay. Ayos na ako sa kung ano man ang mga bagay na ipinapaalam n'ya sa akin.The next day, I starte
Filling The Abandoned Holes Chapter 8
"Hindi ba mahal 'yung VIP ticket? Bakit mo binili?"Palabas na kami ng museum nang maalala ko na naman 'yung tungkol sa ticket."Your happiness is more expensive than that," sinsero n'yang tugon. Kahit na hindi ko s'ya tingnan, alam nakangiti 'yon.I subconsciously pursed my lips.It's not that I don't want it. Pero parang sobra naman na yata 'yung mga ginagawa n'ya para sa akin."Hindi ko naman sinabing bumili ka…" halos bulong na ani ko.He patted the top of my head before leaning in. Bahagya n'yang ibinaba ang mukha para makatapat ko. "Nag-insist po ako Ma'am. Alam ko po kung gaano mo ka-gustong um-attend sa concert nila."Ayan na naman ‘yung tumatakbong mga daga sa dibdib ko. When will I get rid of them? Will I ever get rid of them?I only caught my breath when he moved away. Pakiramdam ko ay nawalan ako ng boses nang magtama ang tingin namin. Anong karapatan n'yang lumapit nang
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On our way to where he'll be taking me, I heard him humming a song. At parang nananadya nga talaga ang panahon dahil hindi ko maiwasang sumimangot nang malaman kung anong kanta 'yon. It was Green Day's Boulevard of Broken Dreams.Pakiramdam ko ay nalukot muli ang mukha kong kanina ay maaliwalas. The song just merely reminds me I can't go to their concert. And it sucks.But instead of keeping the same face, I thought of possibilities where he'll take me. At least, I need to.Lunti is the first place that crossed my mind. Doon naman kasi talaga kami madalas tumambay. But as we approach closer, I can tell he's taking me somewhere I'm not familiar with.Ang daan na ito ay taliwas sa lagi naming tinatahak. We went over a bridge surrounded by trees bago kami makarating muli sa lugar na may mga buildings.It wasn't long before when we ended up staring at an enormous sculpted door. Sa kalakihan ay
