"I've never felt this way before, whatever it is." "No," I mumbled, "it's over if I give in." He wrapped his arms around me, and I could feel his embrace. I sighed as he put his hand on the back of my head and ran his fingers through my hair. "I'll make up for this, sweetheart. I promise." "Stop making promises," I said stubbornly, and he sighed. "You have no idea how embarrassed I felt here tonight." I couldn't speak loudly because of his chest, but I knew he could hear me. "I apologize," he whispered, and as his hands moved across my back, I felt a tingling sensation. My body was contradicting my mind. "I'm sorry I left you here, Juls. I care about you." He leaned over and gave me a quick kiss. I hesitated, but as soon as it happened, I was back in the moment with him. I didn't have to forget what he had done, I didn't have to be happy about it, and he deserved my anger right now. I just needed him. He pushed the blanket down my body with his hands, and I gasped for a moment, u
"Juls, how did Thanksgiving go?" Mark asks from the couch, and my cheeks start to flush. It's Tuesday night, and I'm preparing dinner before heading to work. Everyone's back from vacation, exams are looming, and I'm eager to wrap up the term. "It went well," I reply, my lips pressed together, as I slice a tomato for a quick salad, reminiscing about the good times from the past. "Oh my god, look at that face!" Kyle teases. "What's going on?" "Nothing," I shrug. In reality, a lot is going on. Kent is eager to expedite our transition to dating. He's been working with a tech guy he found earlier today, explaining his plan and how it should work. If everything goes according to plan, we should be good to go once exams are over. This morning, Doctor Elliot, my backup interviewer, didn't seem too thrilled about meeting me at first. But after we talked for an extra hour due to his interest in my research, my perspective shifted. He kept apologizing for the scheduling hiccup, but in a way,
We were really into each other and had grown so much in the last few days, but now we had to take a step back. And it was killing me. The drive to the pool is short, much shorter than it used to feel. Once we get there, I don't want to leave. "Honey, I'll see you in a few hours," he whispers to me as he parks the car, and I nod, unbuckling my seatbelt. "Go save some lives." "Thanks for bringing me," I reply in a hushed tone, and he nods. We sit in silence for a moment, both wanting the same thing: a kiss, a hug, something to express how much we care. "Go have a great workout." "I'm trying to stay in shape for our date in a few weeks," he teases, and I laugh, rolling my eyes. "I know you have high expectations for yourself." "At the top," I playfully retort, and he chuckles. "Goodbye, see you later." I smile, placing my hand on his arm. He nods and lets me exit the car to walk into the pool. I sigh and try not to dwell on my favorite moments with him for too long. I can't afford to
These past weeks have been tough. Waiting feels like running a marathon, and each day is becoming more difficult. Since Thanksgiving, things have been chaotic. I wanted to spend every day with him, and every night before I slept, I thought about how close he was. I was falling hard, and it was becoming harder to stay away. Exams were good for my mental health; they gave me something else to focus on. It's not great to be so in love with your roommate that it hurts. Before we understood our feelings, he drove me to work a lot, which wasn't unusual, but now he did it more frequently. We got along so well that our friends found it strange. I didn't know what to do because I didn't hate him anymore, but it was easier to hate him. Abby came over to study last night, and I had to lie to her too. Kent walked into the kitchen to get something to eat before his workout while we were at the table. Then he asked Juls, "Do you want anything?" I smiled at him, and his eyes softened, a kind smi
"Juls?" Kent's voice resonates through the apartment. "Juls?!" Five seconds later, he's in my doorway, his chest heaving, backpack on, and shoes and coat still on. "Are you okay? What's wrong? I heard you scream." He farts, and I cover my mouth and smile. "I got in," I say softly. "I'm in, I got a spot in the Northwestern program." I'm so thrilled that tears well up in my eyes. "You got in?" He asks, a big smile on his face, and I nod excitedly. He rushes over and gives me a tight hug. My tears flow even faster. We've been apart for over a week, so it's a relief to see him. "Of course you did; I knew you would." He talks over my shoulder. "I'm really happy for you." "Thanks," I whisper, and he squeezes me until I can hardly breathe. "What are you doing back when you said you'd be at the library late?" I step back, and he chuckles. "Baby, good news comes in pairs," he grins. "The video Piper made is gone. The guy I worked with told me it was only on her phone. No more embarrassing v
We'd been so troubled about it for two weeks, so it's no surprise it ended quickly. He grins after we finish, pulling a blanket over us. His hand cups the side of my face, and his thumb strokes my cheek. "Okay?" I nod in response to his question. "Yeah," I murmur as I wrap my arms around him. "Better than I've been in two weeks," I affirm, and he smiles. "Me too," he sighs, and I snuggle closer to him. No matter how close we get, it never feels close enough. I'll always want to be near him, even though I've tried so hard for a long time to stop caring about him because it was so difficult. But if we could have figured something out back then, maybe things wouldn't be so challenging now. I feel bad that Carlo made him doubt his worth. I wish Kent had done more than just listen. I'm sad that our roommates would probably be shocked at the thought of us, and I'm even sadder that I told my friends I liked him when I didn't. I'm sad that he doesn't think highly of himself. "What's going
Juls Dear god, I feel guilty. I feel like I'm always lying to people. I feel bad when I look at my roommates and don't say anything about Kent and me. I don't like how sneaky this is, and I think it's a lot too dangerous. Since Kent burst into my room and told me the good news, things have been crazy. We can always run across the hall to each other quickly when we're alone. It's too easy to get into bed and not want to get out again. It's easy to lie about what time work starts so that Kent and I can spend an hour talking and hanging out in Kent's Jeep outside the pool. It shouldn't be this hard, and I shouldn't be so stressed out about it. But every time I see him, I get this feeling that takes over my whole body. I feel attraction and energy moving through the air, and then I always think about how exciting this is. I'm so lucky that he cares about me so much. Even though it's selfish, I'm not ready to tell anyone else about this. I'm not ready for the crazy drama that's about to
He was so comforting that my eyes began to droop, and I fell asleep with Kent's reassuring presence behind me. Although I didn't perform at my best on that test, I was fairly confident that I could at least manage a B. My dreams, however, were filled with the night I had spent with Kent. It had been a while since we'd shared a bed, so instead of dwelling on crucial details, I found myself thinking about how much I enjoyed sleeping beside him. When I emerged from the auditorium, I felt exhausted but mostly relieved that the ordeal was over. All I wanted was to rush back to my room and take the longest nap imaginable. What I didn't anticipate was seeing Kent waiting outside, leaning against the wall. I blinked and raised an eyebrow. For a moment, I wondered if it was a product of sleep deprivation, but his smirk assured me it was real. He looked particularly good today, his hair tousled atop his head, and his dimples on display. I smiled, causing my eyebrows to raise, and he chuckled