Julianna
I wanted to live in a student apartment and be independent like my friends from high school.
Most of my high school friends wanted to leave Rhode Island, but I preferred to stay. Why move 100 miles when I got into a great school nearby?
I felt sad and alone because it seemed like a bad decision. I was in my room while my friends were at a party. I saved money, but I couldn't afford to live alone, and none of my friends were looking for places. Everyone I knew at school was closer to others, leaving me by myself.
When the bus called my stop, I felt better. I got up and waited at the door. I looked around campus. Still calm. Only summer researchers and students were there.
Today, I just had a tote bag because I didn't have school or work. I met an old friend for coffee. I wore a tank top and shorts. I didn't look extraordinary, but I took more time to get ready than usual for campus.
I walked to "The Grind," the campus coffee shop near the arts center, in a cute building. I checked the blackboard for specials inside.
I wasn't very social. I was shy with strangers and too excited with friends. I often had to change my demeanor depending on the situation.
"Hey, what can I get for you?" The woman behind the counter asked, and her lip piercing caught my eye, briefly distracting me.
"Um, could I have an iced latte, medium size?" I asked quietly while searching for my wallet in my bag.
"How about regular milk?"
"Please!" I shrugged and kept it light.
"That'll be $6.20; do you have cash or a card?" She asked, and suddenly my heart raced. Almost $7 for an iced latte?
"Please use my card." I sighed and took out my debit card. When I tapped it, it felt like it was crying. She gave me a receipt, and I waited for Carlo at a table.
I hung my bag on the back of my chair and looked around for my phone. When it buzzed to let me know I had a text, I unlocked it to read it.
CARLO [11:01 AM]
"Running late, see you in five"
It's 1:06 PM now, so he should be here soon.
"Julianna-banana!" I heard Carlo's large frame approaching, and I saw him too. I got up and gave him a quick hug because I was happy to see him again. He was the only one who ever called me that.
"Hi Carlo." I smiled at him, and he smiled back. He had changed his hairstyle and ditched his mustache, which was a good move. He used to say it attracted the ladies, and he wasn't wrong. Girls did seem to follow him around.
"You look good, what's new?" He asked, and I just shrugged.
"Not much, grab some coffee, and we'll catch up." I gestured, and he smiled, heading to the counter.
After a few minutes, he returned to the table with a large coffee mug. He sat down and took off his old flannel. "What did you order?" I asked.
"Where's your usual black drip coffee?"
"They're still serving it." I shrugged and looked up to see the barista struggling with the espresso machine. "No big deal, I just didn't want something hot."
"It's definitely warm." He nodded and took a sip of his black coffee. "So, how have you been, and how was your co-op?"
"It was pretty good, I learned a lot and all that." I shrugged.
Carlo and I had both been busy, so I hadn't been keeping up with him as well as I should have. We weren't really close friends to begin with, and now we were barely in each other's lives at all.
"They said I could start working in two weeks."
"What?" I smile and ask, and he nods. "Wow, that's great! Congrats!"
"It's cool that if you get this degree, you can find a job right away." He chuckles, and I chuckle too and roll my eyes. "I can't believe I finished high school, though."
"I always forget we're not in the same year," I say with a shrug. "So, what's your plan?"
"In a few days, I'm heading back to New York," he says, and my eyebrows shoot up. "Your timing was good when you tried to set up a hangout."
"You're leaving!" I repeat, and he nods. "Wow, that's a big move!"
"I know," he shrugs. "But I think I'm ready to go."
"That's not your fault," I reassure him. The woman at the counter brings me my drink. I insert the straw and mix it with the ice. I'm not sad about it because it's true; Carlo and I were never really close, especially after our philosophy class ended.
"What's up with you?" He changes the topic and asks, so I clear my throat.
"Not much, you know me, pretty dull," I mutter. "I'm working on an honors thesis."
"Wow, impressive," he nods as I mumble. "What's your thesis about?"
"History, with a focus on the early modern period," I tell him, and he nods.
I tried hard not to fit the stereotype of the typical Brown University student with random piercings, a rainbow wardrobe, and a hand constantly in the air. I was genuinely interested in my studies, and I kept a low profile.
"What's your main point?" He asks, and I shrug.
"My professor and I are still working on it, but it's about how sexism evolved over time in early civilizations."
"That sounds like a lot," he shakes his head, leans back, and runs a hand through his sandy hair. "Do you still work at the Coleman pool?"
I got a job as a lifeguard at the school's fitness center pool during my first year. I had my certification, so I decided to use it to get an on-campus job. I usually did it between classes, and most of the time, I just watched over the swimmers and took a few laps myself for fun.
"Yeah, I got a raise last month," I say with a hint of pride, and he laughs.
"Cool," he shrugs. "You look different."
I try not to get too excited when he says that. I had shed some extra weight and felt better about my appearance. Also, my hair had grown since he last saw me, and I had a tan from the summer. Today, I had put in a bit more effort than my usual "homeless chic" style, which consisted of old jeans, warm sweaters, and worn-out sneakers. I had gotten a good night's sleep, applied simple makeup, and styled my hair.
"I think my depression is finally fading, maybe because it's summer," I tease him, and he laughs. "You look different too, but every time I see you, you look different."
"I know, my girlfriend didn't like the mustache, so I got rid of it," he says with a shrug.
"Are you back with Kayla?" I ask, trying to remember the name of his previous girlfriend.
"No, I've met someone new in Jersey," he confirms. Carlo was always a ladies' man at heart, with unconventional views on dating and relationships and a long list of phone numbers. He was the kind of guy I'd never consider dating, a bit of a red flag.
"Her name's Emma, and I told her I had to come home first to take care of some things here."
"What's she like?"
"She's fun, nice, and tall," he says, and I roll my eyes at the last part. "How about you? Anyone special in your life?"
I tell him, "Absolutely no one. I'm living with my parents, and their room is right next to mine. Plus, I don't have a car. Not ideal for dating."
Honestly, I don't really mind whether I'm dating someone or not. It doesn't change much in my life because I'm too busy to date.
"When was the last time you went out with someone?" He asks, and I raise my eyebrows.
"I'm not sure."
"You're still at your parents' place? Can't believe you haven't moved out, Julianna. It's been two years," he remarks.
I reply, "I can't, really. Renting a place here on my own is too expensive, and I actually like being at home." I defend my choice by crossing my legs and leaning back in my chair.
In truth, I enjoyed being at home. I loved my mom and dad, even my annoying little brother Jesse. I liked having home-cooked meals that I didn't have to prepare, playing Scrabble with my family, and watching The Great British Bake-Off with my mom. The only thing I didn't enjoy was going to work.
"You've got to move out," he insists.
Rolling my eyes, I respond, "No kidding, Carlo."
I sigh and admit, "I know."
But it's not that simple; it's just the bus.
"The bus that takes you an hour to get to campus?" he challenges. "Look, Julianna, your backpack always looks like it weighs a ton, which means you're not getting enough sleep. I haven't seen you in months, but it's obvious that the end of the semester has done wonders for your mental health."
"So, what should I do about it?" I ask. "All of that is true, but this is my reality. Nobody's looking for a roommate. I huff, lean back in my chair, grab my glass, and take a bitter sip of my drink.
I'm not sure if I'm even adult enough for it. I never seem to have my life together, and I don't know if I could handle paying my bills.
"Wait," he says with a peculiar look, pulling out his phone. "I've got an idea that could solve both our problems."
"Wait," he says with a peculiar look, pulling out his phone. "I've got an idea that could solve both our problems." "What's on your mind?" I inquire cautiously, fearing Carlo might have come up with something reckless. Between the two of us, I was usually the more level-headed one, often needing him to clarify his ideas. "My buddies, the ones I share a place with," he begins, and I nod along. "Well, I won't be sticking around this year." "Alright?" "They all renewed our lease, but I didn't." "Aren't those guys all from your school?" I'm a bit puzzled, so I ask. "Didn't you graduate high school with them?" "Nah, I wasn't a freshman then. I met them during my second year of dorm life. We used to play basketball together at the gym too," he explains, and I raise an eyebrow. "Are they in their senior year like I am?" I confirm, and he nods. "Yeah, and they've been hunting for someone to take that fourth room since I told them about my job in Jersey," he says, and my thoughts immedi
I stick close to Carlo as he leads the way through the city. I couldn't recall the route to his place very well; I had been there once but only briefly. I'm incredibly nervous, my palms sweating profusely. All I can think about is how awkward I am. To others, this might not seem like a big deal, but for me, it's a huge step. I've always been somewhat socially awkward. While I've improved over the last year or two, I still blurt out silly things from time to time. "It's up there," Carlo points to a white house on the corner and says, "That's it." Like most college houses, it's divided into three smaller apartments. I thought Carlo lived in the basement suite. "I forgot about the basement part," I mutter, and he chuckles. "It's spacious, with high ceilings and everything," he reassures me, and I follow him to the side entrance. As I step inside, I glance around, blinking in surprise. He was right; for a basement, the ceilings were quite high. The living room was right next to me, fe
"Two toilets!" I repeat, and they both nod. "Yes, if someone's showering and you need the bathroom, it's a lifesaver!" Mark chuckles, and I nod in agreement. "The one at the end is just a storage space. That's where we keep our cleaning supplies." He explains as he opens the utility closet. "Kent owns this room, but I shouldn't have opened the door without his permission," he says, touching the door in a respectful manner. I didn't know Kent, and he didn't know me, but it seemed like the polite thing to do. Mark playfully drums on the wall and announces, "And this..." He opens the door to Carlo's room, revealing only an iron bed frame; even the mattress and box spring were gone. "It's spacious," I comment, and they both agree. It was much larger than the room I had at home. It featured beautiful wooden floors and unassuming white walls. "Hey, are you guys giving her the grand tour?" Carlo interrupts as he emerges from the half-bath, and both Mark and Kyle laugh. "What do you think
"Hey," he greets with a friendly tone as he steps out of his room. "That metal bed won't cut it if you're aiming for an Airbnb," he quips, laughing, and I chuckle along, my gaze glued to the floor. "Uh, no, I'm actually friends with Carlo," I reply, working to keep my heart rate steady. Why can't I just stay composed? "I'm Julianna." "Julianna," he repeats, walking with me into the room. I offer a nod and swallow the lump forming in my throat. "I'm Kent," he introduces, extending his hand. Taking a deep breath, I mirror the gesture, carefully shaking his hand, trying my best to control the nerves. "Nice to meet you," I manage, cursing myself for the slight stammer. I withdraw my hand a tad too quickly, wary of sweaty palms. "Why are you in Carlo's room when it's empty?" he queries with a smile, and my stomach twists in knots. "Well, I'm checking it out," I explain. "He mentioned you guys are looking for a fourth roommate." "Ah, got it," he grins, putting me more at ease. Thankful
"Mom, what do you think of Carlo?" I asked as we drove into our neighborhood. "I like him," I replied with a sigh, running my hands over my knees. But I still hadn't told her about what happened this afternoon. I had left in the morning to meet a friend, but when I returned, I had a lease for a spare room in my bag. Living at home made it hard to distinguish between being a child and an adult. My parents were respectful of my age, but they still treated me like a kid, asking where I was going and when I'd be back every time I went out. Whenever I mentioned moving out, they'd bring up the expenses and suggest waiting until I finished my undergrad. I had saved up a good amount of money, and my original plan was to wait until I finished college to get a nice apartment or maybe even buy a car. But now, I was glad I hadn't, because I had more than enough money to make moving out a reality. "He lives in that house on the corner," my mom asked, pointing. I nodded, confirming that Carlo li
"Henry, she wants to move in with three men!" Mom exclaimed, clearly upset, and stormed off to the kitchen in anger. "She came up with this plan without even discussing it with us." "Colleen," Dad interjected calmly, which managed to stop her outburst. She was visibly distressed and surprised, but I had anticipated her reaction. "Please, Julianna, tell me the whole story." I began to explain, "One of my friends is relocating to New Jersey. He currently shares an apartment with three roommates, and it's just a 15-minute walk from campus. However, since he's moving, he didn't renew the lease. His friends have been searching for someone to take his place in the apartment, and Carlo offered it to me. I met his roommates today, and it seems like a suitable place for a student to live." Dad asked, "How much does the rent cost?" and I responded with a shrug. "It's actually not that expensive; it's $643 a month," I informed him, to which he simply nodded and shrugged. "The location is conv
I grab my phone and search for Mark's number so I can get in touch with him. [ME 15:58] "Hey, Mark! It's Julianna. I wanted to say thanks again for today. "My dad is reviewing my lease, and I'm getting things organized. Do you think I could move in next week?" "That is if you still want me to and everything." I wait anxiously, and I see the typing indicator pop up almost immediately. [MARK 16:00] "Hey Jules" "We definitely still want you to move in." "That sounds good; no need to rush." I smile and send a response. [ME 6:01 PM] "Awesome, I'll keep you updated." "Also, my dad wants to check out the place before I sign anything, I hope that's okay." [6:01 PM MARK] "That's more than fine! Thanks again, Julianna; you've been a lifesaver." I almost shout with excitement and nearly fall out of bed. Finally, something positive is happening. I'll be moving into a college house and making new memories. I still talk to some of my high school friends, but they aren't as important
"Hey there!" Kyle enters my room and calls out. "Is there anything else you need help with?" His cheeks are red, his hair a little damp, and he's carrying a bag. It's clear he's just returned from the gym. "I think my dad is bringing in some boxes. Do you want to help?" I give a shrug, and he nods, but his response seems a bit odd. I'm in the middle of moving my bed right under the window when I hear a door open across the hall. Kent has arrived. Even though he's sweaty and disheveled, he's still very attractive. In that tank top, I can clearly see his muscles and shoulders. God, I don't know how I'm going to handle this. "Hey," I try to be polite and say something, but he doesn't respond. Did he even hear me? "How long are you planning to live with your family in our apartment?" He asks me rudely, and my whole body freezes. My hands stop in mid-air, my body straightens up, and my eyebrows furrow. Why is he talking to me like this? I don't even know how to respond. "Um, I'm not su
After 2 years... Kent "Today has to be perfect." I've been super busy preparing for this day for the last few weeks. It has to happen tonight, or she'll suspect something's up. Juls is getting her master's degree today, and I've never been prouder. She's incredibly smart, always reading or researching. That pile of library books in our office never seems to shrink. She's applied to Ph.D. programs all over, but I think she'll stay at Brown. I'm okay with that because I don't want anything to change about our lives. Well, except for one thing that I hope to change today. I finished my MBA a few months ago and started working full-time downtown. I'm in marketing for now but aiming for investment banking and trust. I know my path, and with time and connections, I hope to take care of us. Juls keeps saying she'll stay in school because she doesn't know what else to do, but I think it's the other way around. School and academia bring out her best. Her eyes light up when she learns some
"We're almost there," Kent insists, turning on his car's signal. I feel like we're in the middle of nowhere, and we've been driving for over an hour. Kent refused to tell me our destination because, as he put it, "I would just g****e where we're going, and then it wouldn't be a surprise anymore!" The weather was gradually getting less cold, not warm yet but no longer snowing or freezing. I was on my last spring break, trying to finish my thesis and schoolwork. We recently received information about our upcoming graduation. In about a month and a half, we would be finishing our undergrad degrees. It was still surreal to me, moving from starting a university degree to finishing it. Kent had been discussing plans for the summer, including hiking trips, which I pretended not to dread. I wasn't much of a hiker, but I was willing to do it with him. We signed our lease for next year, securing that cute little apartment on the other side of campus. The thought of moving in with him excite
"I got my email." Even though Doctor Binkley said I have a spot, I'm still nervous to open it. Maybe I should've waited to open it when I'm alone, but I can't wait. I'm opening it on my way out of lecture. I open the email, quickly reading the first few lines. But at the top, there's a big box that says 'congratulations' and 'welcome!' My heart immediately slows down, and I feel relieved, clutching my phone to my chest. It's official; I'm staying at Brown next year. That means I'll be with my family, my school, and, of course, Kent. We can start our life together, still have our friends and continue studying, but we'll be together. I remember how tough that month at Northwestern was, how much I missed him, and how I felt like I had no support. I need to text my parents and tell them the news. They've been anxiously waiting to hear what I'd do about my living situation next year. But I'll do it later. Right now, I just want to go home and be with someone I love. I pull out my phone
"I hate school sometimes." Yes, I like researching and finding answers to questions no one's ever thought of before, and I like my degree, but the coursework sucks. I'm sick of reading pages and pages of scholarly articles and books and writing a new paper every other week. My honors project is draining every ounce of energy from me, and I was starting to worry if it was even worth it anymore. I hadn't heard about Brown's Master's program yet, and that's the whole reason for this extra burden. Today was Tuesday, one of my busier days. I only had class today until noon, and then I usually spent the rest of the day grinding out work. Today I had to meet with Doctor Binkley and discuss my work. It was something we did monthly to make sure I felt like I was always on the right track. Kent had a break after his class at one-thirty, and we were planning to meet up and study together until his next class at four. Then I was planning to go home and take it easy. I take the elevator up to
I wake up in the middle of a large bed with Kent beside me. We were completely tangled in bedsheets, just beside each other in a beautiful room. I sigh, feeling my body ache and my head pound, but it's bearable. I shuffle over slightly, laying my head on his chest and snuggling back into his side. That seems to get his attention. He moves under me and groans slightly, eyelids fluttering. I feel his lips press a simple kiss to my temple, and I smile. "Hey, Juls," he mumbles. "Hi," I whisper back, watching his eyes open slowly. He grins at me easily, running a hand through my hair. "How do you feel?" he asks, and I shrug. "I have a headache and I'm tired, but I'm okay," I sigh, tracing my fingertips down the center of his chest. "I had a lot of fun last night." "Good," he whispers, putting his hand over mine on his chest. "I know how hard you've been working and all the crap we've been dealing with." His voice is thick with sleep, deep and raspy. "It was nice to have a day that wa
"It's been an amazing night and an unbelievable birthday. I'm pleasantly tipsy, happy, aware, and buzzing," I express. It looks like all three of our friends have scored phone numbers tonight, giving Kent and me some alone time. I notice the place clearing out, and I realize it's probably time to head home. The bar is closing in about thirty minutes, and it's close to three in the morning. "Want to go somewhere else?" Abby asks as we wait for our jackets. I sigh and shake my head. I'm ready to devour some greasy food, drink water, and snuggle into bed with Kent. We've teased about getting intimate, but with all our roommates around, it's not a possibility. I've let go of that idea and just want a relaxed and easy night. "I'm good," I sigh, and she nods with a simple shrug. "Thanks a lot for everything; this night was so, so fun!" "I'm thrilled you enjoyed it!" She insists, giving me a hug, and I grin. Kent retrieves our coats, and I sigh, not looking forward to facing the cold a
It was nice to feel noticed by him, nice to know that he always seemed to care about what I was up to. I'd never felt attractive before I started dating Kent. We all round up the last of our coats and shoes while the Uber's on its way. I get my coat on, and I feel Kent slide his hand along the small of my back. I gasp a bit quietly and look up, seeing his cocky grin. "You look nice," he whispers, and I chuckle, feeling his fingertips slide around the edge of my waistband. Soon we're all piling into an Uber, and I hear Abby chatting up the driver in the front seat. I'll always be envious of her confidence and how she talks to people like she's known them forever. We grab a quick dinner at a pizza place around the corner. Everyone pushed that we should go somewhere nicer, but I didn't want to. I just wanted to go out and have fun with my friends. I hadn't gone out in a long time, not really since before Christmas, and I'd spent way too much time feeling lonely, buried in work and ove
"Did you want to stay longer?" Kent asks as we step into his car, and I smile, closing the door and putting my seatbelt on. "No, we've been there for hours," I mumble, safely tucking my birthday card into my coat's inner pocket. "If we stay longer, we're staying for dinner." Time with my family was amazing, it meant the world to me, and I was thankful I had it so close to my birthday. "Your parents are really cool," he admits, turning on the car and shifting it into drive. "No, they really aren't," I snort. "Did you miss the part where mom pulled out my baby album and sang my favorite lullaby? To all of us?" I ask, and he chuckles. "Or my dad talking about his Master's thesis? His theoretical chemistry Master's thesis?" "You know what I mean," he defends. "They're...people. Like real, normal, kind people who care about everyone." "I guess they have that going for them, huh?" I laugh, and he smiles. "I can't believe that check, that's not like them. They don't just hand out money
We head inside, and I take a deep breath, walking into our house. My family's house always makes me feel happy, like I'm somewhere safe and full of love. Mom's burning some cinnamon candle, and I can hear noise from the kitchen. "What's that smell?" Kent asks, and I laugh. "Mom loves scented candles, it's probably some clearance one that she picked up from somewhere," I explain, unsure where the nearly offensive candle was. Kent hated strong scents; he claimed they gave him headaches. "Sorry." "It's okay, just... don't go burning anything like that at our place," he says, and I chuckle, reaching for his hand. "Hello?" I call, bringing Kent to the kitchen, and mom gasps, hopping up from the stove and running over. "Juls," she whispers, squeezing the life out of me. "I'm so glad you could come." "Me too, I missed you," I whisper, and she pulls back, rubbing my arms in that aggressive mom-like way. "And I missed you, oh! You're so beautiful and smart-" "Okay, mom," I mumble, and s