Chapter 3

DARIUS POV

          It’s late morning on Saturday and I’m already elbow deep in paperwork. How is this my life? I fucking hate paperwork. I’ve been Alpha for 11 years and I have yet to figure out where all this paperwork comes from. It’s a cruel joke by the universe. I swear, eighty-five percent of being an Alpha is signing your name. The other fifteen percent is a combination of going to meetings to discuss the things that were written on the paperwork, and defending my pack when threats arise- I could do without that portion. It seems like there are always threats looming and I can never take a breath. I stare up from my desk and look out the window. A fresh coating of snow covers the ground. My wolf is pressing beneath the surface, eager for a run in the snow. We both enjoy the feel of fresh snowing being kicked up into clouds of white dust under our paws. It is such a magical feeling, disappearing into a cloud of white dust. I wish I could disappear some days. I never wanted, or expected to be alpha, but here I am, 27 and my pack’s main source of security and leadership.

         I don’t regret becoming the alpha of the Running River Pack. It’s what needed to be done after my older brother, Calvin, died in a battle with another pack. I was able to kill the rogue who stabbed my brother in the chest with a silver blade. Or else that rogue could have claimed the alpha title for himself- anyone who kills an alpha during during a battle, or challenge, automatically becomes the alpha of that pack. And who knows what he would have done to my pack. That was the worst day of my life.

         Me and Calvin lost our parents to the Fated Plague years before. Fortunately, Calvin was ready to become alpha and was doing great in the role for those 6 years. I enjoyed being the dumb, younger brother who would get into trouble and push my brother’s buttons. Calvin called me ‘Dare’, rather than ‘Darius’, because I was more of a risk-taker compared to him. But it’s easier to be risky when people don’t expect as much from you. I was never meant to be alpha. I was always meant to support my brother in his role, and he was such a fair and brave leader. I do my best to emulate his leadership style, but every day I feel more and more like an imposter, and that the people of my pack are waiting for me to give up.

        Somehow, I have managed to keep our pack safe and running for these 11 years. Which brings me back to what I’m supposed to be doing- paperwork. (Cue eye roll). I swear, you would think I jerk off 5 times a day with how strong my grip is. Hate to break it to you, but it’s most likely due to me holding a pen and signing my name for hours on end. I scan the next document and I pause, feeling confused as I read it. Calvin always taught me to read everything before you sign it. “You never know when somebody is going to try and take advantage of you, starting with your impatience for the mundane.” Fuck, he was so smart.

       This document is asking me to sign off on moving expenses, living arrangements, and salary for a new training instructor. What is this? I immediately mindlink my Beta, Tobias, to come into my office so we can discuss this matter. Two minutes later there is a knock on my door.

      “Come in.” I said abruptly. Tobias enters my office with a confused look on his face. I fucking love Tobias. He is like a brother to me. He was Calvin’s Beta and best friend. He was there on the battlefield when that rogue pack attacked. He was the one Calvin died trying to save. Tobias was fighting off one of the rogues and was about to deliver a killing bite, when a second rogue was coming up from behind him, in human form, wielding a silver knife. Calvin and I saw this happening, it felt like it was all in slow motion. Maybe it was. Why should watching someone die happen quickly? Our brains wouldn’t be able to remember every horrible detail if it was over quickly. I replay this scene in my mind every once and a while, looking for a nano second of time where I could have changed the outcome. Where I could have been faster than Calvin. That it would have been me who pushed Tobias away and took the blade to the chest instead. I watched Calvin remain brave in those last moments of his life. He never cried- unlike me and Tobias. I killed that rogue with slash of claws to his jugular. Tobias got up half a second later and we knelt over Calvin. He took our hands in each of his. Blood slowly trickled from his mouth, but he held my gaze. All he could do was give me a nod and a wink. The most confusing combination of gestures in a man’s final moments of life. His eyes glazed over, and his head fell limp, along with his hand that was clutching mine. The battle ended shortly after.

      Our entire pack felt Calvin die in that moment. We grieved as a pack for an entire week. At least we grieved openly. I haven’t stopped grieving. Grief is funny that way. You’re allowed a brief period to be sad in front of everyone, and then after a pre-determined amount of time, the world expects you to put your brave face back on and leave your grief in private. I have learned to keep my grief in private. It doesn’t wash over me like it used to. Rather, it comes up in random moments when silly things remind me of Calvin. Like how I always push my desk chair in when I’m done working for the day. Calvin said it’s important to let yourself know when work is truly done for the day. And nothing says you’re done working more than a chair pushed in, because you it signifies you don’t intend to sit in it again until the next day. And it’s in those moments where I smile to myself and feel a tightening in my chest as I savor one of Calvin’s simple, yet great memories.

      "Ah-hem.” Tobias cleared his throat, pulling me out of my thoughts. Thank Goddess. Now is not the time for me to get lost in thought. Focus Dare. What did I call him in here for? “You asked me to come in here to talk about a strange document you were reading.” That’s why Tobias is awesome, he knows when I drift off in thought at times and manages to keep me task focused.

     “Shit. Yea. What is this about? We are getting a new warrior trainer from west bumble-fuck Washington? Since when? Why?” I started rattling off question after question. Tobias being the champ he is, just chuckles and takes a seat on the other side of my desk, crossing his leg over the other and leaning back in the chair. Clearly, he finds this funny. I can’t wait to be looped into this inside joke he has rolling around in his head.

     “Dare, we talked about this a few weeks ago. You said we needed more warriors trained up and to figure out a solution. So, me and Gamma Lucas and the lead warrior, Justin, decided we haven’t tapped into a vital resource we have consistently overlooked. Our she-wolves.” Tobias said so plainly. I was about to jump in to remind him why I feel so strongly against our females being trained to be warriors, but he held up a hand and stopped me- only he could get away with a move like this. “I know you do not like risking the lives of our women. We have lost so many over the years, but our pack is finally increasing in numbers, and there have been many she-wolves expressing a strong interest in being trained in how to fight. Not only to defend themselves, but to contribute to the pack. So me, Lucas, and Justin figured now is the time. We posted a job listing for an experienced female warrior to come out and help train our women. We figured it would be best if we have a female warrior as part of our cadre to make the women in our pack a little more comfortable in the training environment. We received a few applicants, but one stood out among them all. She’s 24, has a first-hand combat experience, in human- and wolf-form. She has already been working for her pack as a combative instructor for newly shifted wolves and she is the top-ranked female warrior of their pack.” Tobias explained everything. It made it difficult to oppose his points. I just hate the idea of losing unnecessary lives. But if our women were willing to accept the risks that come with being warriors, who am I to stop them?

     “Okay. This all makes sense. I guess my only question is how is her current pack’s alpha is okay with losing her? She seems like an important part of their pack’s defense and training regimen. I know, if I were her alpha, I wouldn’t sign off on her leaving like this.” I questioned Tobias.

     “That I don’t know. You can certainly ask her tomorrow when she arrives. She is scheduled to arrive tomorrow evening. We are putting her up in one of the apartment complexes for singles.” Tobias provided another piece of information.

     “Single?! How is a 24-year-old female wolf still single? She hasn’t taken a chosen mate yet? Most she-wolves are looking to settle down with a chosen mate by the time they reach her age.” I said in disbelief. Not that I blame her. I don’t plan on choosing a mate anytime soon- or ever. After all, if it weren’t for the Fated Plague, our region wouldn’t have descended into chaos and have our pack in a constant state of defending ourselves from rogues, or neighboring packs.

     “Again, Dare, we didn’t hash out those details with her. Maybe she’s ugly, or super beat up from years of fighting and none of the males at her home pack want anything to do with her.” Tobias offered a theory as he laughed at his own thoughts. I couldn’t help but chuckle as well. It’s not an unlikely possibility. Heck, despite werewolf healing, I still have some scars from battles where I pushed myself and my wolf to our limits. Our bodies can only heal so quickly. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m still good looking- dangerously handsome, based on what I overhear she-wolves in my pack say. I digress, what were we talking about? “Anyway, she’ll be here tomorrow, and we have 20 females within the pack who are ready to start training Monday morning. We offered to cover her travel costs and provide her an apartment and a weekly pay of $500. She offered to do two training sessions a day Monday-Friday and one session every Saturday. She didn’t sound like she messes around. Super serious.” Tobias brought me back on track and finished providing me all the necessary details.

     “Damn. She sounds intense, but we are going to need all the additional help we can get to bring our women up to par, so they feel confident in the event that we are attacked by those rogues again. What is her name? It’s not on this document. Who wrote this document? It lacks half the details you just filled me in on.” I asked, slightly annoyed. If I’m going to spend my days signing these fucking documents, at least have the decency to write them properly. I could feel my agitation rising and my wolf stirring in my mind, wanting to get out.

     “Pretty sure it was Justin. As the head warrior, I entrusted him with the responsibility to keep you in the loop with his training staff and any updates, or changes, he wants to make to our warrior training program.” Tobias replied calmly. Probably in an effort to help calm me and my wolf down. It worked, slightly. I take a deep breath and pinch the bridge of my nose, shutting my eyes tightly. I take one more breath and open my eyes, and then let them glaze over as I mindlink Justin.

     "Hey Justin.” I reach to out through our pack mindlink. This is the fastest way to reach him, and I know he’s done with training for the morning, so he should be able to hear me.

     “Yes Alpha.” He replies quickly. Good.

     “Next time you put together a document for me to sign, make sure it has all the details I need in order to make a proper fucking decision on the matter. I almost just squashed your request for your female warrior trainer because you don’t know how to take the time to put together important details. If your training is anything like how you type a document, I may have to reconsider who my head warrior is moving forward.” I growled through our mindlink. I have no patience for stupid shit like this. I hate my time being wasted, and Justin knows me better than to be lazy with this kinda shit.

     “Understood, Alpha. I wrote it up quickly and assumed you were looped into the details by Beta Tobias.” Justin replied quickly, trying to keep his voice level, but I could sense the trepidation in his tone. I exhaled as he attempted to shift the blame to Tobias, rather than take full responsibility. Is this guy getting punched in the face while huffing glue? Grow up.

     “Lucky for you, Tobias did fill me in just now. And provided much better details than what your excuse for a funds request contained. Don’t let this happen again.” I replied curtly, not wanting to discuss this shit anymore.

     “Understood, Alpha. It won’t happen again.” He said quickly. I cut off the mindlink and turned my attention back to Tobias. “Alright, Justin is in the fucking doghouse for this shit. Dude is slipping. Maybe it’s a good thing we are bringing in this female trainer to lighten his workload a little bit.” I said to Tobias, who gave me a nod in agreement. Justin does work hard as our lead warrior and has been in the role for the last two years. He is young, at 22, but shows a sense of eagerness for responsibility. So, this slip-up with a fund request form is definitely out of character for him. I’m glad we are getting him an extra instructor to lighten his workload a bit. Fuck! I forgot one of the reasons why I mindlinked Justin to begin with.

     “Justin! What is this new female trainer’s name?!” I shouted through the link. Annoyed that I forgot to ask him the first time and that it’s not included on this fund request to begin with.

     “Oh shit! It’s ummm... Diamond. Diamond Tannerman. She is coming from the Eclipse Pack out of Washington, Alpha.” He responded quickly. Good. At least he remembered her name.

     “Understood. Be here tomorrow evening to help me and Beta Tobias greet her when she arrives.” I replied and didn’t give him a chance to respond before I cut off our link again. I need a break from this matter. The snow is calling my name and my wolf is feeling so antsy now thanks after this recent discussion.

      Tobias looks at me as my eyes return to normal and I bring my attention back to the room. “Feel like a run, Alpha?” He asks me in a joking tone. He knows I sincerely dislike it when he calls me “alpha.” It doesn’t feel right coming from him, and he knows this annoys me further. I growl in response to his comment, and he chuckles some more. I swear this guy chuckles at his own jokes all the time. It doesn’t matter if nobody else is laughing at his jokes, Tobias always thinks he’s funny. Which he is most of the time. “But seriously, let’s take a break from that mountain of paperwork we both know you love signing. And let’s go for a run in this fresh snow before all the newly shifted wolves kick it up and mess it up before we get a chance to enjoy it.” He states plainly. He makes a good point. This paperwork isn’t going anywhere, and Tobias is good about reminding me to find the joy in the little things whenever possible. Like I used to. Like I used to remind Calvin to do when he was feeling overwhelmed.

      “Yea. Let’s run. I got enough done for the day.” I say as I run my hands through my hair,  then step back from my desk and push my chair in. I smile a small smile and shake my head. I turn my gaze up to Tobias and we share a knowing look, “Let’s go.”