Chapter four

I felt like I had only slept for five minutes before my alarm went off. I groaned, taping my phone to silence the noise. I almost fell back asleep when my door burst open. “Hey. I want breakfast.” Dad says with a toothbrush in his mouth. He wasn’t very old, but looked like it with his unruly hair and graying beard.

I groan yet again, then lazily make my way into the kitchen. “What’ll be today?” I ask as he comes in, throwing on his work uniform. He was a mechanic at his friend Mike's auto shop.

“Just make me some toast.” Please, I add in my mind.

I quickly prepared the toast, seeing that I was already running late. Not to mention, I haven’t even showered. I slide his toast on the table without buttering it and quickly run to the bathroom to shower before he can protest. I'd be damned if I would see Zak, I mean, Ryan, with this rats nest on top of my head.

Once done, I study myself in the mirror. My hair was long, but I almost never wore it down. It’d be a great cover though if my cheeks were to betray me again. I add a bit of product and decide to let it dry on the way to school. Hopefully, that wouldn’t be a mistake and my hair would actually curl and not frizz. 

I throw on my go to black jeans and a graphic T-shirt. I add a dark grey flannel to the mix and give myself a once over. Not bad. I still wasn’t on Kelsey’s level, but you could tell I put in some effort.

I grab my bag and scurry out the door. Luckily Dad had already left so I didn’t have to hear him complain. For the most part he was civil, as long as I did what he asked. If I were the one to complain, he’d remind me that I owed him for keeping my secret. He could tell everyone when I left. It’s not like anyone would believe him. They all knew he ‘fell off the wagon’  when his wife died. He was the town alcoholic and they wouldn’t give a second thought to what he had to say.

I finish the short walk to school and take a deep breath before entering history. Zak was already seated and the moment I entered his eyes were on me. It was like we both knew of each other's presence before we even looked. I took a deep breath and strolled over to my seat, trying to act normal. My movements were rigid and I almost forgot how to walk. Just one foot in front of the other, I reminded myself.

Suddenly my path is blocked and I nearly run into Ryan. His tight shirt showed off his muscular chest and he smelled fresh out of the shower. Gel held his hair back and out of his face. “Hey!” He said in a low sexy tone. “You ready for tonight?”

“Uh, yeah. Sure. What exactly are we doing?” I slid past him as we talked and made my way to my chair.

“Bowling. Tyler’s dad owns the place and lets us bowl for free.” Ryan explains, leaning way too close. 

“Sounds… fun.” I forced a smile. Maybe if it were just Ryan going, but I still felt so out of place in his group. I knew if Kelsey were there she would try to start something. I didn’t mind too much. I could get used to making her jealous.

Ryan misreads my hesitation. “Don’t worry. I can show you how to bowl.” I let out a surprised laugh. Little did he know, I was actually pretty good at bowling, but I wasn’t going to let him in on that secret just yet.

“I may take you up on that.” I say instead. 

The bell for class to start rings and Ryan starts back to his seat. “Sit with us at lunch again?”

I nod and watch as he walks away. I feel Zak adjust in his seat and I just knew he was going to comment on Ryan. “Not a word from you.” I scold, playfully. He lets out a breathy laugh.

“I was only going to say good morning.”

“Mmhmm.” I roll my eyes. I’ve only known him for a day, but knew he was bold enough to say whatever was on his mind. 

Class went by quickly and I tried not to sneak glances at Zak, but the magnetic pull between us was something I’d never experienced before. If I’m being honest, the way I felt scared me. With Ryan, I knew it was all just about fun, but with Zak, something told me it’d be a little more complicated.

The bell dinged and I gathered my things. Zak lingered by, walking next to me, silently. I knew he wanted to say something, but probably didn’t want to offend me. “Go ahead.” His eyebrow arched, clearly confused. “Say what you wanted to say earlier.”

He shrugged, “I wasn’t going to say anything.” I rolled my eyes, which seemed to be becoming a habit of mine around him. “If I was, I’d probably tell you to be careful with that guy.”

“Why, Zak! Are you worried about me?” I joke, earning an ear to ear smile that I had begun to crave.

“I suspect you can handle yourself.” My cheeks redden at the complement and I look away, my long hair covering my face just as I’d hoped. 

I pretended not to notice Kelsey glaring at me throughout the next class. I also had to focus to not turn in my seat to look at Zak. I doodled on the paper in front of me instead of taking notes like I was supposed to. At this rate, I’d never pass my classes.

Zak said a quick goodbye to me after class,causing my knees to feel weak. By the time lunch came, I had started to think of excuses not to go tonight. Maybe I could have an emergency come up, or I could try to get a shift at the diner. My lunch tray gets scooped up from my hands. “You know, I’m more than capable of carrying my own tray.”

Ryan shrugged, giving a half smile. “You better get used to it.”

There was zero chance of that ever happening. I was still convinced that this was all a dream or a bad prank. We sit at the table and everyone greets us. I noticed immediately that the girls had all gone to sit by themselves again. No complaints here.

“You a bowler, El?” Mark, a hefty guy that could probably squash me with one hand, asked.

I shrug and pick at the food on my plate. “Guess you’ll have to find out.”

“Looking forward to it.” Ryan says, eyes on me. “I can pick you up at six?”

“Um, actually I can meet you there.” I don’t know why I said that. I shouldn’t be embarrassed of where I lived. After all, it’s just a house. But Ryan had a different lifestyle than me. I could tell that just by looking at the new silverado truck he always drove.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I just live a couple minutes down the road from there.” He nods once before rejoining the conversation at the table.

I steal a glance at Zak, sitting alone at the table in the corner. He was already looking in my direction and flashes the most magnificent smile when our eyes connect. I bite my lip to try and contain the butterflies that erupted in my stomach. I scooted closer to Ryan, not really sure why. He looked down at me and smiled. I vowed not to look back over to Zak. I wanted to explore whatever this was with Ryan and Zak only complicated that.

The bell rang and over the course of the next three hours my nerves grew until finally the last class of the day was here. I wasn't entirely sure who was the cause of my nerves. Maybe it was seeing Zak, or the date with Ryan. Probably a mixture of both. I beat Zak to the class and pulled out a blank canvas. I finished the last assignment already so now I have free reign. I started sketching as Zak set up beside me. I couldn't help but catch his eyes on me and it made me squirm. 

"Hey," He said in that husky voice that always took my breath away.

"Hey." I bit my lip as I watched him slide into the seat. His knee tapped mine, but this time I didn't inch away.

He pulled out his drawing and I found myself gawking at it again. I still didn't quite see how the girl was me. "You're very talented." I say quickly when he catches me staring.

"Just a hobby of mine."

I scoffed. "Hobby? Seriously? You could easily do this as a career. I'd kill to have the type of skill you have." He presses his lips together and his face darkens. Not the exact reaction I was hoping for. "I'm sorry." I say, not sure what I was apologizing for. "Was it something I said?"

He leans back in his chair. "No. Not at all. It's just...my career has already been chosen for me since I was born."

That wasn't at all ominous. "What do you mean?" 

"Nothing." He starts drawing again and I watch him, debating on if I should ask a follow up question. 

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.” I commented, my curiosity getting the best of me.

His blue eyes bore into me. “It’s a story for another day.” He says, using my own words against me, an amused smile painted on his face.

“Fair enough.” I said, and couldn’t help returning the smile.

I go back to my drawing. I'd settled on drawing a set of eyes. It wasn't until the end of class that I realized they were Zaks. He starts putting up his drawing before the bell rings and I start to do the same. He leans over to look at mine but I quickly shut my sketchbook. An amused smile covers his face. "What are you hiding?"

"I'm not hiding anything. It's just not finished yet." I defend, shoving my book into my bag, but he's quicker and takes it from my grasp.

"Let's see here…" he thumbs through the book and holds it just out of my reach. There were drawings in there that I'd much rather keep to myself.

"Those are private, Zak. Give it back." I wine pathetically as I watch him study each picture. Most of them were a little dark, like memories of my father when he was much worse. Some were of my mother before she changed. The few others showed my secret, if you were observant enough to realize it. I’ve never shared them with anyone before. 

I give up trying to take it and instead bury my face in my hands to hide my embarrassment. "These are really good.” He says, a bit surprised.

“They’re also very private so if I could have my book back.” I grumbled, holding out my hand.

“Who’s this?” He flips the book around and I see the drawing I did of my mom before she died. The smile she had on her face was one I had almost forgotten because it was so rare. She always worried about me, and eventually stopped smiling. 

“My mom.” My voice was small, and I tried to hide the emotion that snuck up. The bell rang and I took the opportunity to snatch the book back. 

“She’s beautiful.” He says. I ignore him, wanting out of this conversation, and walk quickly to the door, but he’s hot on my heels. “If you don’t mind me asking, did something happen to her?”

I took a deep breath. “She died almost a year ago.” 

He goes quiet for a moment. “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t begin to imagine.”

“It’s fine. I’ve moved past it.” I say, trying to throw the little bit of confidence I had left behind my words. We head for the front doors and he grabs my wrist, my flannel preventing our skin from touching. 

“I’m a good listener, if you’d ever like to talk.” 

He held me in place, his eyes so intense, it made it hard to speak. “I appreciate it, really, but I’m fine. I’ve gotta go.” I tried to pull from his grasp but he held strong.

“Would you like a ride?”

I sighed and made the mistake of looking out into the parking lot. I caught Ryan glaring at us and I instinctually pulled away from Zak. “Thank you, but I can walk.” I could tell he wanted to protest, but chose to let me walk away. I hoped Ryan wouldn’t think anything of our encounter, but the look on his face showed he wasn’t very happy.