The pain of rejection

“I, Alpha Gordon Graylock, reject you, Loraine Kellen, as my mate, and Luna of the Withall pack.”

WHAT?!

I can’t hide the surprise that makes its way to my face or the pain and hurt that follow. His eyes are cold and detached as they stare me down after that proclamation, and I am left wondering if this is the same man whom I have always known as kind and good.

I open my mouth to choke out words, but the priestess beats me to it.

“Loraine Kellen, you have been rejected by your mate.” as if I did not just hear it loud and clear and in front of the entire pack. “You can either accept or decline his rejection, but bear in mind that declining his rejection might be risky for both you and your wolf.”

Tears pour down my face, and I immediately wipe them away. My wolf has folded herself away into a corner. I’m sure that she is even more hurt and shocked than I am. We had both been anxious for this day.

The mate bond starts to break slowly. I can feel it. It’s like being ripped apart slowly, and once I accept the bond, there will be nothing left but emptiness.

“I, Loraine Kellen...” the words get stuck at the back of my throat. I clear my throat and try again. I am trying as much as possible not to sound broken and weak, even though right now I am all shades of broken.

“I, Loraine Kellen, accept your rejection as your mate and Luna.” I hold back the tears that threaten to fall. I want to ask why he is rejecting me. He would not even give me a chance, but he is gone as soon as the last words leave my mouth, as though standing in front of me was a punishment, and I just released him from it.

I continue holding back my tears till the rest of the pack members, including the priestess, take her leave after saying several things, which I pay no attention to until I get to my room. Once I am in the privacy of my room, I break down and bawl my eyes out.

After hours of crying, falling asleep, waking up, and repeating the cycle all over again, I decide to confront Gordon and demand he give me a reason for rejecting our bond without even giving us a chance.

Without dusting myself or checking in the mirror to make sure I am at least decent-looking enough to go out, I storm out of my room, which for some reason is in the pack house, towards Gordon’s room.

His room is in a part of the pack house that I have never ventured to before, but I am somehow able to find my way around the maze-like twists and turns till my feet stop in front of a thick mahogany door, which is quite distinctive from the rest of the rooms in the pack house.

Both my guts and my wolf tell me that this is the Alpha’s door, so without waiting for fear to grip me and cause me to second-guess myself, I knock on the door once, then twice. I am about to knock again when the door swings inward, and I am shocked by the sight that greets me.

Jennifer is standing in front of me with nothing but a short, flimsy towel around her waist, which does nothing to hide her tanned skin. My mouth hangs open, and for the second time today, I fail to form words.

We stand there for what seems like hours before Jennifer breaks the silence.

“Loraine,” her eyes shift to my dress. I imagine that I am a mess. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Of course, you didn’t. My wolf retorts angrily. But is that the best you can say in this situation? What happened to defending yourself?

I am about to say something when Gordon appears behind her. He whispers something in her ears, and Jennifer retreats back into the room, and I am regaled by his full-half nakedness. His chest is in full view, directly in my nose. It takes everything in me to stop me from lunging at him and strafing him right there.

I shake the thoughts away. This whole wolf thing is still new to me, so it's hard to separate my thoughts from those of my wolf.

“Why are you here?” His voice is even more frosty than when he rejected me in the hall. I feel chills run down my spine. “I thought I made myself clear when I rejected whatever bond I have with you.”

“But…”

“Is there anything else you want to say, or is this it?”

He’s a jerk.

I completely agree with you.

Is she why you rejected me?” The fact that, after finally finding my voice, that is the first thing I can ask.

Of course, dumb ass, she is the reason he rejected you. It's so obvious that even the blind can see it.

“I rejected the bond because you are weak and ordinary. My pack deserves someone more than that as a Luna.” He looks at me, and the looks he gives me say he’s disgusted by me. "Jennifer, on the other hand, is different. Not only is she beautiful, but she is also mature and a leader. You’re just a child who only got her wolf yesterday.”

The words sting more than they should. I cannot decide what to feel because everything overwhelms me at once. I am still feeling the shock of seeing my best friend with the man who just rejected me, and I’m getting rejected for the second time in a day.

“Hoe long has this been going on?” the tears I have been holding fall. “How long have you been sleeping with my best friend?”

“Does that matter?” he sneers at me. “But since you want to know so badly, then I’ll tell you. It has been happening for as long as I can remember because I love her and so does my wolf. Now, if you don’t mind, I'd like to go back inside. Jennifer does not like to be kept waiting.”

With those words, he shuts the door in my face. Only now do I realise that we had not been alone in the hallway. There are a few people with their heads poking out of their doors, and once the Alpha leaves, they all return back to their various rooms.

Good, leave. My wolf whines. I should find a name for her soon. There’s nothing to see here.

I return to my room and begin to arrange my things. Alpha Gordon has made it clear. The only thing that had been keeping me in this pack had been my best friend, Jennifer, and the prospect of finding my mate. Now that I have lost both, there’s no need to stay here anymore.

I have finished packing my bags and am about to roll my things and myself out of the apartment, which I will share with my best friend when Jennifer returns. Her eyes were immediately drawn to my packed bags.

“What are you doing, Loraine?”