Chapter five

Abbigail

A week passed since Shawn had her accident and finding out I'm pregnant. In that week our families helped move me into her place and Shawn is finally able to come home. Being that her lower leg had the double fracture, she was able to get a walking boot and a set of crutches to move about. 

She wasn't able to drive and even if she could she has no car. Her mother was picking us up and bringing us home. I've left the hospital long enough to shower but went right back to be with Shawn. I'm still getting used to the layout at my place with Shawn and didn't want to be alone.

Before we could go home we had my first appointment for the baby. It's where we're headed now and I'll admit, I'm nervous. I was sitting in the back seat with Shawn and she took my hand in comfort. She brings my hand to her lips and I let out a calming breath. 

"I'm sure the baby is fine," she says in a soothing tone and I nod uncontrollably. She takes me in her arms and I breathe in her calming  scent. "I'm with you, every step of the way."

"I'm not worried about the baby, I'm not able to take care of our child without having someone there with me. I won't be able to see to dress them, change them. I'm going to be a bad mom," I choke in sobs as my fears become my worst living nightmare. 

"We could always find out if you're able to have surgery to restore your sight if you want," she says in a soothing whisper. 

I thought about what she said and let out a calming sigh. "Can we wait for your leg to heal before we talk about this again? Please," I ask in a choked whisper. 

"Of course," she says in a soothing whisper, rubbing my stomach. "I want you to feel comfortable to tell me anything that's bothering you, okay? No matter how big or how small, I'll always be there to listen."

I let out a relieved sigh and choke quietly, "Thank you, I needed to hear that."

"Anytime babe," she says softly kissing the top of my head. 

It wasn't long before we reached my doctor's office and the three of us headed inside. She was busy with a previous patient so we had to wait. While we waited they asked me for a urine sample and my usual nurse helped me in the bathroom while Shawn and Joyce waited in the front waiting area.

I must have zoned out while waiting to be called to the back because Shawn was talking to me in a soothing tone,  hands holding my face, trying to get my attention for a few minutes. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I spaced out," I say quietly in a distant tone. 

"It's okay, it's common among pregnant women to space out," my doctor says softly as I feel her help me up to my feet and I sway a little. She steadies me on my feet and I bring a hand to my head as it starts to spin. "Easy now."

"I'm gonna pass out," I say in a breathy, wavering tone and collapse. 

Shawn

"Abbigail," I cry out, scared as she collapses in her doctor's arms. "What is wrong with my girlfriend?"

"Just a dizzy spell," her doctor says in a soothing tone. "I promise you, both mother and baby are fine. She'll wake up on her own, but until then if you want, I'll do a quick ultrasound?"

I couldn't stop the tears from forming in my eyes and nod. "Could stress be a cause for her to pass out," I ask in a worried whisper. 

"It could be. Do you know what could be stressing her out," she asks as we follow her and a nurse pushing Abbigail on a gurney.

"It could be because of my car accident last week which was the reason we missed her previous appointment or that she feels she won't be a good mother because she can't see to tend to the baby without someone there to help her," I choke quietly. 

"Abbigail always used to tell me she'd never find someone to settle down with because no one would want the burden of a blind woman. She found you, I have no  doubt that she won't get her sight back if she does the surgery, " her doctor says in a soothing tone. She meets my eyes, smiles lightly and says, "I can see in your eyes that you love her and that you're scared for her. I think she picked a loving, caring and passionate woman who will protect her from everyone and everything."

"She's the first outside my family to accept me for what I am, how could I not want to protect her. It wasn't easy for me growimg up. I don't need her getting hurt for being with someone like me," I choke in a whisper. 

"What do you mean 'someone like you'?"

"I'm the 'father' of that baby," I choke quietly as the tears fall. "I was bullied and beat up because I was different from other kids. I wasn't allowed to use the girl's bathroom nor the boy's bathroom."

"I'm sorry to hear that," she says in sympathy, exposing Abbigail's stomach. "Would you like to see your baby?"

I nod, taking Abbigail's hand. I kiss her fingers and watch the monitor as the doctor waves a wand over her lower abdomen. Moments later I could see two peanut shaped bubbles and smile through the tears. "Twins," I choke in a whisper.

"Yes," the doctor says with a smile. "They seem to be at a healthy size, bigger than most at eight weeks."

Her hand gripped mine, turning her head toward me and asks in quiet whisper, "What happened?"

"You fainted from a dizzy spell," I say softly and kiss her forehead. She moves to sit up and I gently lay her back down. "Relax, everything is fine."

She lets out a relaxed breath and her doctor was surprised by how I was able to calm her down so quickly. "Can you tell me what you see when the ultrasound starts," she asks in a calm whisper. 

"I wanted to make sure everything was okay while you were passed out. We're in the middle of one now," I say in a soothing tone, stroking her hair. Tears roll down my cheeks with a smile on my face and say, "Both babies are healthy and so is their mommy."

Tears fill her eyes and I watch as a wavering smile stretches her lips. She pulls me in for a quick kiss,  unable to do more than that with our smiles. "With mother and babies healthy I'll go write a script for prenatal vitamins and get a printout of the ultrasound. I'll see you back in a month's time," the doctor says with a smile.

"Thank you," my mother chokes with joy.

I have my mother help Abbigail down from the examination gurney and we follow the doctor out of the room to schedule her next appointment and get her script and printout of the ultrasound. I call her mother and ask that everyone meet us at our place for dinner. 

We were on our way home and she snuggles next to me on the back seat. She plays with my hand in her lap, resting her head on my shoulder. I kiss the top of her head and she lets out a relaxed sigh. "How are you feeling," I ask with concern. 

"I'm still letting it settle in that I'm carrying twins," she says quietly, slipping her fingers between mine, holding our joined hands against her stomach. "I'm a little tired from sleeping in the hospital, but I'd do it all again."

"I'll let you nap while I wash away the hospital and refresh my vanilla and lavender scent," I say softly and notice she's already falling asleep. 

I make eye contact with my mother in the review mirrow and she gives a soft smile. "She'll be fine. Pregnancy takes a toll on you the first trimester. She'll sleep a lot, her appetite will waver for a while. Some food she ate before might make her sick. She might have these weird cravings at two in the morning and it's all normal," my mother says reassuringly. "She reminds me of me while I was pregnant with you."

I nod, acknowledging what she just told me and keeping it in mind. I look down and notice how relaxed she looked in her sleep. She also looked peaceful and I knew that was because of me. I don't dare to think of how she'd be going through this if my accident was any worse than it was. I had a feeling that that's what she was thinking about too but was afraid to admit it.  

I realize we're home when my father is trying his best to scoop Abbigail out of the back seat and not wake her. I look at my leg, wrapped up in a cast and wished I could carry her myself. I climb out and balance myself on the crutches before closing the door and heading inside.

I make my way to my room as my father was walking out and Abbigail was curled up on my side of the bed. Her face was buried in my pillow which probably still had my scent in it. I smile at the sight and grab some clothes for a shower.

I grab my shower proof cover and water proof walking boot and enter the bathroom. I was able to undress without a problem and into the protective wear to keep my cast dry. I step in the shower and start washing away the sticky residue from the sensors and my IV drip.

I heard someone enter the bathroom and didn't think anything of it. I thought maybe it was my mother coming to collect my clothes for me. "Shawn," Abbigail asks in a choked whisper. I poke my head out of the shower and she seemed scared. "Can I join you?"

"Of course, I just stepped in," I say softly and watch as she undresses. I hold my hand out and say, "I have my hand held out in front of you."

She takes my hand and I help her in the shower. Once she was in, she came in my arms, her head against my chest. She lets out a calming breath and I wrap my arms around her. "I woke up and you were gone," she chokes in a wavering whisper. "I thought about your accident and thought this last week was a dream."

"I'm here," I say in a soothing tone, rubbing her back in comfort. "I'm right here."

My bathroom door flys open again and I knew it was my mother looking for Abbigail. "She's with me," I say softly before she could say anything. "She freaked out when I wasn't there when she woke up."

"Sweetheart, can I get you something for when you come out," my mom asks in a soothing tone. 

She lets out a laugh and says, "Surprise me."

"I know just the snack for you," my mother says and leaves the bathroom.

"Let me wash you, please," Abbigail asks in a choked whisper, running her hands down my arms.

I soap up my luffa and place it in her hands. She gingerly runs the sponge over my chest and I let out a relaxed sigh. My breaths hitch when she reaches my groin and she was gentle washing every part of me. My breaths quicken as she continues, roaming her hands over my soapy skin. 

She gasps as I harden in her hands and I let out a shuddering breath. I decide to let her take control of the situation. She steps closer to me, breaths ragged and reaches to kiss my lips. It was slow and passionate. 

"Make love to me," she pleads against my lips.

"Let's go to the bedroom," I say quietly and shut the shower off.

I help her out of the shower and we hastily dry off. I bring her to the bed and we both climb on so I can remove the waterproof bag. I rest against my pillows and have her straddle my lap.

She gasps as I enter her with ease. I sit up and wrap my arms around her, rocking us back and forth. Her arms slip around my neck and hands play in my hair. We move together in a passionate rhythm and she holds my face as we kiss to muffle our moans. 

Our breaths turn heavy, lips brushing lips. Her hands tug at my short hair and moments later we come together. We sat there, catching our breaths and my mom knocks on the door. "Everything okay? You need help Shawn," she asks with concern, respecting our privacy. 

"We're okay, just getting Abbigail better acquainted with the bathroom," I say with a smile as Abbigail shakes her head. "We'll be right out."

"Just shout if you need help," she says as she walks away. 

Abbigail playfully punches my arm, face a little red and says, "Might as well said we had sex. They know we were alternating between places before your accident. 'Better acquainted with your bathroom' to your mother is a dead giveaway."

"I'm sorry," I say softly, kissing her forehead. "I'll make it up to you."

"Like a guard dog, trained for the blind," she asks giving me a kiss.

"That actually doesn't sould like a bad idea. I'm glad you mentioned that," I say in a protective whisper. "I'll talk to our family and we'll get you a guard dog."

Abbigail

Shawn has been extremely protective of me since we learned about the pregnancy and even more protective since we learned I was carrying twins. I never had someone other than my family get protective of me the way Shawn is now.

I find Joyce in the kitchen and pull her toward a spare bedroom. Shawn was fixing her walking boot and hair. I could feel Joyce guide me a little, having an idea where I was trying to take her. I guess my face shows more than I realize. 

Once we get inside the room and close the door, I start pacing. My emotions are all over the place and I can't get them under control. In the middle of pacing, I walk into Joyce's arms and lightly sob on her chest. She doesn't say a word and just rubs my back comfortly.

Some time passes before the door to the room opens and the smell of vanilla and lavender fills the room. I instantly felt calm, but don't move from Joyce's arms. "Is she okay," Shawn asks softly, standing behind me.

"I'm sure its just her emotions attacking her Shawn. You were in a car accident on the way to pick her up the day she had an appointment to find out if she was pregnant. This morning she learned she's carrying twins and could have lost you last week, left to go through this pregnancy alone. Sometimes we need comfort from someone who isn't your partner or from someone who knows what you're going through," Joyce chokes in a whisper, pegging my issues to the wall. I let out a calming breath and Joyce rubs my back. 

"Five more minutes," I choke quietly, scrunching my hands at Joyce's  sides. 

The three of us let out a laugh and I let Joyce lead me back out to the living room. "Can we keep the twins a secret for now, please? Especially from my family. I can't take anymore excitement right now and my family will take it overboard," I say quietly, wiping my eyes. "I need time to fully accept all these changes, but it doesn't mean I don't want to go through this."

I feel as Shawn eases herself next to me and takes me in her arms. "I can warn them before they get here," Joyce says in understanding. 

"Thank you," Shawn says softly, caressing my stomach. "I'm sorry if I added any extra emotional stress. I just want to know you're safe when I'm back to work and no one else is with you."

"I love that about you," I say softly, holding her hand to my stomach. "Next time I nap with you, please stay with me until I wake up, at least until I get over your accident."

"I promise," she says softly, kissing my head.