Chapter 5 - Rocco

69 days earlier than current day.

I desperately sat here hour by hour, hoping that it would be the day my sweet girl would awake and look to me with that beautiful smile of hers and tell me that everything was going to be okay. But, all the doctors could offer me when I questioned this, was, “Give her time.” I would give my mate all the time she needed. I would do anything to have her back, of course I would. But, just how much time was she going to need?

I could not help but question if these doctors knew if my mate was okay or not. Or if they would be able to tell me. But the thing was, I needed to know. I needed my mate back. My wolf needed her back. Her. Not just this sleeping form beside us, offering us some semblance of reassurance that she still clung to life. No matter how I wanted to look at this, that was not Aria. And Ciro did not feel like it was either.

For my wolf, he was craving his mate. And simply being by her side was no longer enough. He felt like he was beginning to fall apart. The guilt was beginning to eat away at him like it did myself. The guilt we had not been there to protect her in her time of need. She had needed us, and we were not there. She had been the every dutiful mate and sent me away. Putting on the brave face for me, telling me to go and be the Beta I was expected to be...

This was a guilt like no other. My beautiful Aria. Came to me like a shining star in the night when we met, at a time when I had given up home of ever finding a fated mate. Yet there she was, so sweet and so perfect. Like all my prayers had been answered. And I had promised her the world. Including so much love, happiness and safety… but in that, I had failed.

And Ciro felt the same. Our pack did not offer the protection we believed it would. And soon after Aria had arrived, the smaller, random rogue attacks had begun. We had been able to deal with this with little issue, but when the larger ones came we were in danger. And now, now we found ourselves in this state of disaster. A state of disaster while I felt like my whole world was falling apart.

I had been so taken with her beauty, Giddy with the happiness of finding the one that the moon goddess had chosen for me, it had never occurred to me that in bringing her with me to my home that I would be risking her life. I thought that I, and my pack could keep her safe. Instead, in being with me, I may have brought her death…

Ciro whimpered heavily. I could feel every piece of his pain. He knew what I was feeling. For all his thoughts, the processes were the same. We blamed ourselves for the position we found ourselves in. We failed our beautiful angel. And now my wolf felt like he too was tumbling away from me. All because I fear he felt like he was losing his mate. And that scared me. For what would I be without a mate, and without a wolf? Would I even exist?

30 days earlier than current day.

The clattering around in the room was becoming incessant. But, ultimately, I knew the nurses were taking care of Aria; and if I were to mention allowing me to sleep they would suggest I return home… again. Oh, how I had tried. So many times. But, home did not feel like home without my beautiful mate there.

Instead, I showered in the small shower room alongside Aria’s private room within the hospital whenever I could bring myself to leave her side. Eating when my friends would bring me food. This was what my life had become. But, I would not leave my mate. This was my duty to her. I had failed her so massively in my role of protecting her, that I could not allow her to be alone now. I could never forgive myself if my mate were to awaken and nobody was by her side.

I could only imagine her fear and her confusion if she were to awaken now. Not to mention the potential pain she would be in. The doctors still could not tell me if she was healing. Not if or when she could awaken. Days had turned into weeks… and I feared those weeks would easily turn into months. Nothing changed. And I could not help but contemplate if this would be my life forever.

“Beta?” a deep voice bellowed, disturbing my already interrupted sleep.

I stretched where I sat, in the partially comfortable hospital chair I had made my temporary bed whilst staying with Aria, as I opened my heavy eyes to look toward the doctor. I could only hope that him feeling the need to awaken me, that he may have some news.

“Yes?” I urged him, my stomach twisting with nerves.

“You really should be resting at home, you know? Our nurses have expressed their concern for you. They said you do not look well.” He said, his voice monotone. Was this all he had woken me for? To attempt to send me home once again? What did these fucking nurses think I would look like when I was sleeping for barely a few hours a day in a lumpy hospital chair, often woken by their clattering and banging around as they went about their business? I was never going to be bouncing around the place radiating an aura of sunshine now, was I?!

“I am fine here, with my mate.” I said, rather brusquely. “And, I would appreciate your nurses minding their own business. If it concerns them that I look so tired, perhaps they could try to be less noisy when in the room, and they see me sleeping.”

The doctor rolled his eyes, looking toward the ceiling as he did, in almost desperation. Oh, wonderful, he seemed irritated by my response. I truly did not care. I was unsure what use this man had been of late, because nothing he or his colleagues appeared to be doing seemed to be bringing my mate back to me. And, because of that, I was on a downward spiral to losing myself and my wolf, who, I had noted, was making fewer and fewer appearances…

“Perhaps I should ask Alpha Micah to have a word with you?” the doctor suggested. Oh, so now he was trying to bring the big guns out, was he? Threatening me with the Alpha?

It was my turn now to roll my eyes. “And why would you need to do that, doctor? Alpha Micah, who incidentally is my closest friend, is fully aware of where I am, what I am doing, and how I am. So, you running off to him, shouting your mouth off in a bid to try to get your own way will not work. He knows I need to be here for Aria. End of discussion.” I gave the doctor a dark glare as he shook his head, pushing his glasses up his nose, before walking from the room.

Wow. Woken up for that. Truly worth it. I looked down at Aria in the bed. Sleeping as peacefully as she had been since that very first day. To look at her, you truly would believe she was taking a nap… oh, how I wish she was!

“Oh, sweet girl. Please, come back to me. This is becoming unbearable. My heart is aching from not hearing your voice. Not knowing what is happening. I have you here, yet you feel so far away. I want to help, but I know not what to do. I feel you drifting away from me, Bella, and along with you Ciro is drifting too. What will happen if you both leave me? I will no longer be. I would cease to exist, no? Because without you, I fear there is no Ciro. Without Ciro, there is no me. And, without you, there is no me. I need you, my sweet girl, I need you…” my voice broke as I spoke to Aria, unsure if she could even hear me. The doctors had told me she may be able to, but I had long since begun to doubt their words. Yet I continued to speak with her each day. This was my only connection left to her.