Chapter 10

Sebastian's POV

I sit at my grand oak desk, its surface littered with scrolls and ledgers detailing the urgent matters discussed at the recent elders’ meeting—issues of state that demand my attention. Yet, no matter how earnestly I try to focus, my thoughts drift inexorably to her: Eleanor.

Her memory is a persistent whisper in the back of my mind. Our last encounter replays like a mesmerizing melody—the tilt of her head, the spark in her eyes, the subtle defiance in her voice—all hinting at a connection deeper than any duty-bound liaison. There’s an undeniable sense that she, like me, has been reborn, carrying echoes of our shared past. I can’t shake the impression that she remembers not only our marriage but also the pain I once inflicted, the mistakes that still haunt me, and she wants to have nothing to do with me.

Guilt and regret surge through me with each recollection. I recall how my ambition, my insatiable hunger for vengeance, blinded me to the needs and emotions of the one I once vowed to cherish. In my reckless pursuit of greatness, I hurt her profoundly—driving her away and leaving scars that time has yet to heal. The bitter irony is that she paid the ultimate price for my blindness, and now, that memory gnaws at my conscience with relentless persistence.

Trapped in this loveless union with Loretta, I endure a daily existence devoid of the passion and intimacy I dreamt I would enjoy. Loretta is regal and dutiful, a figurehead by my side, yet she can never fill the void left by Eleanor. Each day, I feel the weight of this hollow marriage, a constant reminder of what I have lost. Even in the midst of royal duties, my heart races at the mere thought of Eleanor; I can sense her presence as though the very air carries her scent—a delicate, haunting blend of jasmine and melancholy that both torments and inspires me.

My inner world is a tumult of conflicting emotions—a struggle between the responsibilities of a king and the desperate yearning for the one who truly completes me. I know I must find a way to mend what has been broken, to seek forgiveness for the past, and to reclaim the love that could define me. Yet every attempt to bridge the chasm between us seems futile.

I rub my temples, trying to stifle the throbbing headache that mirrors my inner turmoil. I need a plan—a way to navigate the labyrinth of duty and desire so that I can once again win her heart. But for now, I remain suspended in a limbo where the relentless pull of responsibility collides with the raw, unyielding desire to right the wrongs of our shared history. Eleanor was my true mate and I had to claim her.

The stone walls of my study, filled with the echoes of past glories and present burdens, offer little comfort. Instead, they serve as a constant reminder of the legacy I must uphold, even as my soul aches for redemption.

Still, beneath the weight of my regrets, a fragile hope persists—a belief that one day I might find a way to atone for my past misdeeds, to heal the wounds I inflicted upon the woman I ought to have loved, and to restore the bond that should have united us. Until that day comes, I remain caught between two worlds: the cold demands of leadership and the burning desire to reclaim my true mate, the one who has haunted my every thought and every heartbeat since that fateful moment I realised she was mine.

Just then, the heavy oak door creaked open. I didn’t have time to divert my thoughts when Alicia appeared in the doorway, a sly, knowing smile tugging at her lips. Her presence was as unavoidable as it was infuriating.

“Alicia, what are you doing here?” I snapped, not bothering to lift my gaze from the scattered papers. My voice was rough, edged with both exhaustion and an unspoken plea for solitude.

But Alicia didn't seem to sense anything more than her own selfish desires.

She stepped further into the room, setting down a silver tray laden with food as if it were an offering. “I brought you lunch, Sebastian,” she purred, her tone low and deliberately enticing. “I thought you might be hungry.”

I paused, a slow, skeptical raise of my eyebrow reflecting my inner reluctance. Alicia always had a knack for appearing precisely when I least wanted company. “Thank you,” I murmured, my words clipped and cool. “But I’m not hungry.”

A flicker of hurt crossed her eyes, quickly replaced by a spark of defiant allure. “You’re always pushing me away, Sebastian,” she said softly, her voice laden with both vulnerability and challenge. “What is it? Don’t you find me attractive anymore? Isn’t there even a sliver of interest left in you?”

I exhaled sharply, feeling the weight of my conflicted emotions press down on me. “Alicia,” I began, my tone strained as I attempted to mask the turmoil beneath, “I have matters here that demand my attention. I need space right now—a solitude in which I can sort through... things.” My voice trailed off, laden with unsaid apologies and buried regrets.

Her eyes narrowed, and for a moment, I thought I saw genuine pain flash across her face. “I see the distance in your eyes, Sebastian,” she replied, her voice dropping to a near-whisper filled with hurt. “But don’t think that your need to isolate yourself will last forever. I’m here, and I won’t be cast aside so easily.”

A bitter edge crept into her tone as she squared her shoulders. “If you truly need to be alone, then fine,” she said, her words clipped with a raw mixture of anger and sorrow. “But remember this—I won’t allow myself to be ignored forever. Our connection isn’t something you can simply shut off.”

With that, she spun on her heel and strode from the room, her departure leaving behind a charged silence and a bitter residue of unresolved tension. I rubbed my temples, the echo of her words mingling with the ceaseless ringing of my inner conflicts, leaving me alone with memories that we

re as painful as they were persistent.