Chapter 6

Alexis

I seriously don't know what it is about Aaron; even when I push him away he keeps on coming back I have ran away from him , shut him out , almost made love with him , pushed him back and shut him out again , only for him to come back to me .He really wants to be with me regardless of my stance. Maybe I have nurtured my fear of getting hurt for far too long. I uncrossed my legs and knelt down so that I was facing him.

"I guess I don't know you that well but; my heart somehow knows you and my gut is telling me to give you a fair shot. "

" Thank you Lexi."

"For what Aaron?"

" Giving me a shot..."

" I will try and open up too it's only fair."

" Fair enough ." 

I sat on the couch and Aaron followed but I could see he was uncomfortable

" bed?"

"I like the way you think. "

" Hmm . Not what you are thinking . You look uncomfortable .

" I am. "

I climbed on the bed and sat in the middle with my legs folded again in lotus position and he tried but could not cross both legs

" I don't bite."

" I can do the tree position very well ."

Aaron sat down and looked at me.

" When I was seventeen my world was turned on its head ."

"What happened?"

" My mother died right in front of my eyes . She was driving me back from a business school entry exam . I knew I wanted to be in business and make money , not only to help my family but help others around me too. " 

I pushed one of his floppy curls back. 

" You have a big heart..."

"Some say I have a big ego. I don't . I might be a bull but I am patient . I want the best for the ones I care about ."

" Why weren't you driving?"

" I was tired from the night before because I had only slept for three hours."

"Hmm."

" We were driving home and before we made it to the house she wanted to stop and get milk and other things for the house at the corner store. I didn't feel like going inside because the boy whose father owned the store bullied me . "

" I'm sorry."

Aaron held my hand gently and kissed it .

" It's not your fault . I was fast asleep when she went into the store. I was woken up with three loud bangs and screams. I got outside the car; ran inside the store only to find that Luke junior shot his dad and my mother was caught in the cross fire. When he realized what he did he turned the gun on himself and succeeded in killing himself. I had heard a loud thud on the floor with what I later realized was my mother. I ran to her direction and tried to get her to wake up . When she woke up, I thanked all my lucky stars... She smiled at me and asked me if I am okay . I nodded and she said; good. My grey school pants were feeling wet and warm . I didn't look down . I thought it was coffee that had spilt. My mother was looking pale and her breathing was labored. She took a deep breath and winced in pain . I kept quiet and listened to what she had to say."

A tear escaped Aarons eye and he shut his eyes heard. It was as if he was reliving the event. He was starting to shake and all I could do was give him a hug and he held me close.

' You don't have to tell me ."

"I want to . "

" I was holding her hand and I had taken my blazer off to support her head and I was holding her hand. She said; I should tell my dad and my sister that she loved them with everything in her and that she will watch over hem . She then smiled and said she was proud of me and will be proud of the man I will become because I have worked hard. Her last words were that she's sorry and that I should forgive her for leaving so soon .After that she was gone . I spent the next hour asking her to please open her eyes that she cannot go. The cops came an hour later and called my dad who was sick too."

I pulled back and he held me steady so that I could look at him .Aaron had blood shot red eyes . 

" what was wrong with your dad ?"

" Prostrate cancer . He had palliative care . I was so broken on that day that I thought it was a bad dream. It wasn't a bad dream . Three months later my dad died and I don't know what clicked; but I went into survival mode . I had to give up going to business school even though I passed top of my class, and take care of my sister. I got a part time job at the golf club and did everything . The money my parents left behind I used to get Mary through school. Bryan was my friend from the country club. We met when I was twenty years . Ten years later and we are still friends ... add a couple more years . I started my gym tech company from the bottom up when Mary got a bursary to study down here in Cape Town. "'

I looked at Aaron and I couldn't help but cry for him.

" I don't know what to say to you." 

" You are here that's all that matters... When the money started rolling in I invested in stable assets. This beach house was one of them. "

" How did you meet Laura."

Aaron put his head on my lap and stared at the ceiling

" I met her at a party my sister invited me to. At that point it was all about work and no play. She was my sisters friend, and when we clicked one thing led to another .We lost our first child and that's when her parents tried to veto her towards Simon. We tried again and David came. We were happy until she started cheating on me with Simon "

" How old was Dave ."

" Five. Simon had a pregnant fiancé at home. She knew nothing about what was going on... until I caught him with Laura and tried to contact his girl to let her know what kind of a scum he was. That week was hectic . It was the same week the explosion happened. Laura was six months pregnant with their second child .I had recently found out about David's older sister and I knew it was over .I got injured trying to save Laura and ended up losing Dave to her parents. I started hanging out with the wrong crowd . A different girl every week and Mia was just a toy I took out for fun. We broke it off three months back after my son told me what she did and how mean she was. I also saw it with my own eyes."

" wow."

"I had my weekly meeting with Bryan . He made sure I never saw his assistant. I think she was going on leave when she skipped lunch and worked right through the day. I locked eyes with her once and I knew she had to be mine . I saw her during the weekend helping out an old lady who couldn't cross alone ."

" Mrs Taylor is afraid of cars. I couldn't leave her alone. She rewarded me with a hug and a lemon bar we both shared with a cup of tea, once she made it to her bakery."

" You're not selfish with your kindness . "

" Maybe that's why it was easy for Simon to take advantage of me. "

" He didn't deserve you."

" Even if he had a child with Laura on the way; I wasn't going to deny him access to his child." 

Aaron propped up and gently kissed me I kissed him back and giggled putting my head on his shoulder.

" I'm falling for you hard and fast."

"Dido babe."

" I love it when you call me babe . "

I really like Aaron he had a calming effect on me and he was easy to talk to .It goes without saying that he trusts me and I trust him enough to tell him what happened. If I don't it would look like I don't trust him and if I do I'm afraid he'll judge me ... then again he wants me to be his girl and if he is for real then I should tell him and see what happens...

" I need to tell you something ."

" You haven't answered my

question."

" I know Brooks ... but you need to know something about the night I lost my baby."

" you don't have to ."

"I want to ."

"Lexi..."

" Simonhad gotten into some sort of financial trouble. I knew that because he had lost funding for a business he wanted to start. He told me not to go out without a friend or someone he was going out. I knew he was going to Laura .Mrs Taylor was short staffed and needed my help. She is like my grandmother and she was really supportive when Si was verbally abusive or treated me like crap. There were weeks when I would sleep over at her house .Si made it seem like it was my fault that he was sleeping with Laura .He blamed me for many things until the night Mrs Taylor needed help and I went out when he told me to stay put She was really stranded . Once I walked her home I felt unsafe so I called Nathan."

" Oh my word you poor thing ."

" When he picked up he said he was busy making love to Laura and I shouldn't disturb him. I told him what was going on and he hung up . I called a couple of times and it went straight to voicemail. Impulsively I decided to go home . "

Tears started streaming down my face and they didn't stop . I covered my face because I was ashamed to cry in front Aaron and embarrassed. I stood up from the bed and tried to run to the bathroom, but Aaron sopped me and gave me a hug and a his shoulder to cry on. He cradled my head with his one hand and rubbed gentle circles on my back . 

" Alexis don't you ever feel like you have to run away from me ; embarrassed or ashamed to cry in front of me . I want you . I want all of you scars and all."

I nodded and wiped my tears. I looked at Aaron and took a deep breath. 

" I got attacked on my way back . I woke up five days later and I wished I had stayed asleep... Simonblamed me for our son's death when it was the people he owed money to who almost killed me. Something in me snapped the day before I was due to get discharged ; I called off our engagement and he retaliated with vengeance. He wanted nothing to do with me or our baby who had died."

" What was going on in your head ?"

" I thought it was just a bad dream... but reality sunk in when only my immediate family made it to the funeral service . I kept thinking I am too young to be going through such torment. I was going through fire and no one knew how to help me navigate the flames . When I got back home I found all my belongings packed by Nathan. All the baby clothing I had bought , toys and the crib. I donated the clothing to the charity store and I moved back in with my mother . A week later something felt off, I didn't feel okay ... I had lost weight drastically and my mental state was in a mess. I checked myself into an institution and a year later I was better in all areas of my well being. It didn't hurt anymore to see kids with their parents. I later found out that on the same week Simonand I lost our boy , he lost Laura". 

Aaron and I sat on the edge of the bed and faced each other he still didn't let go of my hand.

"Do you want to know what the most coincidental thing was when I woke up after the explosion ?"

"We both know that there is no such thing as coincidences. You were either meant to cross paths with someone or were bound to meet them at a later stage."

" Do you remember anything from the week at the hospital?"

Something about Aaron felt familiar . My heart somehow was drawn to him . It knew him but my brain wasn't piecing everything correctly.

" Hmm it's a bit foggy but I remember talking to a guy for three of the five days I was there. His name evades me .All I remember was telling him not to take his own life. We had talked extensively about his son and I had somehow convinced him he had a lot to live for and suicide was a weak choice ."

I closed my eyes trying to remember and everything that had happened came back to me. 

"Even when he overheard what Si was saying?"

" After visiting hours and after talking to his sister; he came over and gave me a hug. After my crying session and a soothing session given by a perfect stranger we talked all night. He told me that ;we me that the perfect wrong time. He told me he liked me; he also said Simondidn't deserve me and if ever we meet again under different conditions and not the Hospital he will ask me to be his girlfriend and I said I would say yes."

"Did you ever see him again."

I opened my eyes and looked at him.

" Nope. It turned out Abro was Laura's husband. He knew about Simon and tried call me and tell me what was going on . When I called him after I moved back home with the number he gave me a woman answered and told me never to call him ever again. My natural reaction was that; he wanted to use me to get back at Simonand he wasn't as honest as I thought he was. "

" If you ever find Abro or if somehow your paths cross again; would you forgive him ."

"I had already forgiven him on the same day, I just needed an explanation ."

"You will get one when you finally track him down ."

" He is not worth it. He needs to track me down if he really meant what he said. I just hope he is okay wherever he is ... I on the other hand have to focus on what I am thankful for ."

Aaron gave me a bear hug and a peck on the cheek.

" Thank you for trusting me. I know how hard it can be especially after being through something hectic like what you went through. "

" I'm responsible for that wet patch on your golf shirt."

"It's tears they will dry up my baby love ."

I smiled at Aaron and he kissed my forehead and looked at me seriously.

" Why do I feel like you want to tell me something important."

" That's because I want to be honest with you from the get go." 

" Is there something you think I should know?"

" Yes and I pray to God it doesn't influence the way you feel about me."

"I will try and be understanding hun."

"What if I told you we've met before ?"

"I'd ask you when and where?"

"At the hospital. The same week you lost your son and the explosion happened ."

"I'd say fate."

" Hmm ... I have met you before . "

" ha ha and you answered my questions back to front ."

" You saved my life..."

" You saved my life more than once so I guess we are even."

" No baby love."

"Just come out with it ."

" I am afraid of you walking out on me."

" I won't just tell me ."

" Abro didn't loved you with no hesitation and he still does. His sister answered the phone and he didn't know. When he eventually saw his call log he called the number and when you didn't pick up he tried to track you down. He had given up all hope until he saw you working for a friend and... "

I hushed Aaron by placing my fingers on his lips

" You're Abro?"

He nodded and gently removed my hand and kissed my fingers gently.

" Yes. I found out what Mary had done . You went missing in action for year and then I found out that Bryan hired you I was happy things were working out for you. It wasn't until Bryan said that you were coming to the conference instead of him that I felt like the gods finally heard my prayers... "

Everything started making sense. I took a deep breath and stood up. Aaron followed suit .

I went to where my bag was and I took out a pin Aaron gave me when I was in the hospital. I placed the angel his hand and pushed his fingers back.

"It might have taken three years but you need it more than I do . Your mommy gave it to you and it wasn't mine to keep Abro . I also have an answer for you ...

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