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Chapter 37
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2021-01-25 18:19:00Alexis
Letting go hurts; but it's necessary. I have something I call the quad-factor . Balance has always been important to me and with my moon rising being a cardinal sign with scales; fairness in all things is mandatory. Even though I feel my way through life because my sun sign is also a cardinal water sign there is a point where you have to let go, no matter how hard it hurts you will feel better once you let go completely.
The quad-factor is what I call; body, mind , heart, and soul balance. Your body has a way of releasing what it doesn't need , so does your heart, mind and soul. I remember falling Ill one day after work ; because I didn't take time to rest , I was constantly in stress mode, and I couldn't switch off. When I arrived home out of the blue I started running a fever . Simon Nathan had prepared dinner for us and he was concerned . I could've blamed the weather but it was winter. The house had under floor heati
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Aaron✔When I entered the room where Lexi was kept; my heart did a triple if not quadruple somersault. I was happy she was awake. I was still in the dark about our baby ,and the good news was that I was taking Davand Mary home ... I just hope I can take Lexi home too. I sat next to Lexi and gave her a kiss on the forehead and she smiled at me . I gave her a gentle hug, and she hugged me back and kissed my neck . I held her close and she cried on my shoulder . Why was she crying ; what was wrong ?"Oh honey, please tell me what's wrong ?"" I'm sorry. I should have stayed when you told me not to go.""Babe you wanted to do a good thing . I love you .""We love you ; Mary, and Dave."" so our baby is okay ?""Hmm.""Thank God. What's wrong my baby love?"Lexi pulled back and I placed h
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Alexis✔There is something comforting about surety … Knowing that someone will come through for you no matter what; having a friend who always has your back , having a shoulder or shoulders to cry on , Knowing that if you’re in trouble there is nothing that the person you trust wouldn’t do for you , and the surety of knowing no matter how many times you fight the person you love … They will always come back because your know deep down in your heart that , home is wherever they are.I had a fight with Aaron . It wasn’t because he found out he was a Massa , but he was pissed off that I hadn’t told him about Carl, and his face showed it . I surprisingly had a call from my favorite person yesterday. He looked so happy and he was worried. He called me mom which made me smile .I went to sleep and woke up a bit better the next morning. I was still hurt. I didn’t even fe
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AaronI need help. I admit that I need help. I messed up so badly and Alexis did not deserve to be at the bottom end of my rant. She didn’t tell Caleb or else I would be at the bottom end of another one of his infamous tongue lashings. He can be brutal ; I’ve seen it first hand and I was surprised that he kept his cool when he saw Nathan Simon. I woke up early this morning to decorate the dining room; bake and make breakfast for Mary and David. By the time I was done it was well after twelve in the afternoon. I had to go fetch Ali and both Mary and Dave were not up so I left a note and ran out. I had to settle the medical aid bill when I arrived at the hospital for Dave and Mary. When I wanted to pay for Alexis’s too the kind lady shook her head and said; it was settled this morning by Brent. When I entered her room Brent was; sitting on the Bed ,on the phone , asking questions . When I looked at him his eyes went wide and he cut
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#Song : Black Coffee ft Msaki -wish you were hereAlexis✔As a kid; I was always taught to question the very thing that is the norm. There is a method to how things are done , however for every act there is a counteract. Rules are put in place for a reason; to maintain order , to instill some sort of decorum , and to make sure things run according to plan . Sometimes things don’t go according to plan.As you grow up ; you come to the realization that, rules can be flexible to a certain extent until they have to be broken. What usually follows a counter act is either regret or in some cases an awakening of some sort. When you have an exception to every rule that you’ve ever made ; it can sometimes leave you vulnerable, broken and to an extent in jeopardy of losing yourself. This morning I woke up; I was thankful that I was alive and that I made it through the night. When I saw my reflection in th
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AaronNo one is perfect... No one can ever be perfect, but the world expects us to be. When people give their opinion on something it is usually given from their own point of view and how they view the world. If you don't have a strong sense of self or an anchor of truth; you will constantly live in assumption and expectation . When people assume something , they expect you to live up to their expectations. The world says perform because life is an act, however the ones you love and hold dear say ; live ... You need to stop , stop for a moment and just breathe . Living happens when you stop playing roles that don't serve you to your highest good . When the final curtain call comes and when all is said and done what's left?" The sobering fact that you are lonely and you have no one ,absolutely no one to share your success with. I found that out the hard way... Even when I had someone they were not fully there.For
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AlexisMan downIt happened so fast. It happened so fast that; I didn’t have time to recognize that I was caught in a cross fire between the guys that Carlo and Aaron were shooting at. All I saw was smoke and Carl swearing. It wasn’t until I heard a loud thud on the floor that my heart stopped. Security had come through and a couple of other guys who had the same ring as Carlo . As soon as the smoke cleared Carl bent down to pick me up and give me a hug.“ Hey honey are you okay?”I nodded and looked for Aaron.“Aaron Carl where is Aaron?”I pulled back and looked at the kitchen island . I couldn’t see him .“Aaron!”Carl let go of me and ran to where Aaron was. My heart was already beating fast but it broke when I saw Aaron lying on the floor with a
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44AlexisFeelsFear is the enemy of courage. Courage is what we have, when we look fear in the face and tell it to go to hell and stay there because life is calling. When life calls we answer ; however when life happens we react. How we react can determine the outcome of the situation. Given what was 'going on I couldn’t lose it and become a drama queen. Drama has its benefits when you want to make a statement ,and when you do make the statement make sure you don’t trip and fall on your face… it happens to the best of us when we least expect. Courage and kindness are not really rare traits. They are embedded in us ; we just need to flick the switch. What courage does is give us the power to overcome and with that comes understanding. Through understanding you learn to see a situation for what it is and take a gentle approach in helping someone. Kindness has never lost a battle or war. Coupled with hum
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AaronThree weeks laterMary relapsed again. I blame myself for that happening. Ever since the shooting I have been recovering very well and I am healing.Christmas was different this year though. Mary was okay until she lost it at Cleo for no apparent reason. Sarah was also shocked and as I suspected she gave Lexi hell in Cape Town. Lexi had been away and I hadn’t seen her in a long time a month to be exact and May went as far as blocking her on all accounts. Carl and the Perelli bunch joined us for the Christmas lunch.Alexis was six months pregnant and what hurt the most was missing out on a lot of things. The shooting wasn’t her fault .When I called CT he told me; She was out and she didn’t want to talk to me about anything. I knew that he bought a house just down the road and I had the innate feeling that Lexi was around. Our connection was and is always strong .
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Chapter 51AaronBalance is the most fundamental aspect of life. whether you want to admit it or not every action or event ;evokes some sort of balance. At a point where I thought everything was coming together again, everything started falling apart. I knew my son was angry when he found his mothers pictures in a box of things I kept of Lara. I was going to give it to him on his birthday , but he found it when he was looking for something . The first question he asked was ; why did Alexis have similar features to his mother. I told him ; it was a coincidence. He snapped out of the blue and told me I was lying, he said; you are a sick selfish human being. I sat him down after his rant and I told him everything with regards to what happened when he was five years old. I also told him that I fought hard to get him back , and that I was sorry . We were still on moody terms with each other. He was moody and irritable if not mean to me until the accident happe
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AlexisI am not afraid of dreaming. I am afraid of staying awake and not allowing myself to dream big enough and believe that I can do ,and be anything I want. Even a super shero. I am also not afraid of waking up and dealing with the fact that I have an unfinished life, that I still want to live and make the most out of it…When you are living you constantly ask yourself if you are doing enough? When you are going you ask yourself if you did all you wanted and was it enough. When you’re gone what you never did is done and in between those three steps; your whole life flashes before your eyes.When I rolled down the stairs; I was afraid . I was afraid that I had failed my unborn baby by not keeping him safe, afraid that my relationship with David was never going to be the same , and more than that I was afraid that I had robbed my brother of becoming an uncle and Aaron becoming a father again.
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Fated Collision Chapter 46
AlexisThe toughest conversations are the ones we’ve never had with our heart. Conversations with heart are always honest; pure, real and non pretentious. It is a non judgmental zone where you can bare all without any fear… The heart always knows the truth no matter what condition it is in; your heart will always lead you to the right answer . Your heart will always lead you home.I have had moments when I’ve doubted the very love I believed in.The day Simon Nathan broke my heart was one of them, the other was the day I lost Ben, and now… Now it’s whether or not I love Aaron. For the longest of times I have struggled with letting anyone in or talk about how I really felt about a situation. When I got together with Aaron over the time we were together, I had lost a part of myself. In my head I foolishly believed that true I had to sacrifice a part of myself to be with him. Tr
Fated Collision Chapter 45
AaronThree weeks laterMary relapsed again. I blame myself for that happening. Ever since the shooting I have been recovering very well and I am healing.Christmas was different this year though. Mary was okay until she lost it at Cleo for no apparent reason. Sarah was also shocked and as I suspected she gave Lexi hell in Cape Town. Lexi had been away and I hadn’t seen her in a long time a month to be exact and May went as far as blocking her on all accounts. Carl and the Perelli bunch joined us for the Christmas lunch.Alexis was six months pregnant and what hurt the most was missing out on a lot of things. The shooting wasn’t her fault .When I called CT he told me; She was out and she didn’t want to talk to me about anything. I knew that he bought a house just down the road and I had the innate feeling that Lexi was around. Our connection was and is always strong .
Fated Collision Chapter 44
44AlexisFeelsFear is the enemy of courage. Courage is what we have, when we look fear in the face and tell it to go to hell and stay there because life is calling. When life calls we answer ; however when life happens we react. How we react can determine the outcome of the situation. Given what was 'going on I couldn’t lose it and become a drama queen. Drama has its benefits when you want to make a statement ,and when you do make the statement make sure you don’t trip and fall on your face… it happens to the best of us when we least expect. Courage and kindness are not really rare traits. They are embedded in us ; we just need to flick the switch. What courage does is give us the power to overcome and with that comes understanding. Through understanding you learn to see a situation for what it is and take a gentle approach in helping someone. Kindness has never lost a battle or war. Coupled with hum
Fated Collision Chapter 43
AlexisMan downIt happened so fast. It happened so fast that; I didn’t have time to recognize that I was caught in a cross fire between the guys that Carlo and Aaron were shooting at. All I saw was smoke and Carl swearing. It wasn’t until I heard a loud thud on the floor that my heart stopped. Security had come through and a couple of other guys who had the same ring as Carlo . As soon as the smoke cleared Carl bent down to pick me up and give me a hug.“ Hey honey are you okay?”I nodded and looked for Aaron.“Aaron Carl where is Aaron?”I pulled back and looked at the kitchen island . I couldn’t see him .“Aaron!”Carl let go of me and ran to where Aaron was. My heart was already beating fast but it broke when I saw Aaron lying on the floor with a
