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Chapter 11
Last Updated:
2021-01-14 18:34:35Alexis
Trauma has a way of coming back to haunt you when you're unaware. Post traumatic stress may be the cause; but getting over something that altered how you live,doesn't happen overnight.
No amount amount of pills, alcohol, distractions or episodes of anger outbursts can be enough. The fruit of my trauma is; my inability to stay stable, trust anyone, go into shell shock, and above all the most viable evidence of my audeal is the post traumatic stress and scars .
Any banging sound , scenes of violence, unexpected surprise greetings , sudden shocks, knocks you off kilter.
For someone who doesn't understand ; they may think you are troubled , have issues , or my favorite term she's weird.
Fact is that I am not weird. I have visible and invisible scars that are trying to heal. The most noticeable ones are the laceration stitches that are on my tummy . The scars se
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AlexisWeddings are a blessing and a gift that keeps on giving when you plan your marriage. It is a union of two souls that are meant to be together. As a body you are one and when two become one; you not only bare witness to someone's life, but you become a team.I had woken up early on Saturday morning but Abro was fast asleep. I had fallen asleep next to Aaron and it felt right . When he woke up he; kissed me good morning and I wanted to wake him up properly but he stopped me . Disappointed as I was he more than made up for stopping me in the shower this morning . He feels really good although we are due for a proper session he had to double up . Don't get me wrong the quality was good but we could never be too careful and protection is the rule of thumb when we have sex... We both agreed.I had to leave first with Sarah and then go downstairs to meet Tina . We helped her get ready and the gl
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AaronAs a person you know when you have found something that is absolute. I thought Alexis was going to call me a freak for stalking her ; but she didn't, I thought she wasn't going to give me a shot but she did and I don't want to mess things up. For the first time in a long time Dave and I are on the same page. Before the main event he came clean about his abuse, both at school and when he was staying in CapeTown. He also asked me if he could change schools and I said yes.The wedding was amazing. I kind of went back to the day I said ; I do to Laura and the pain that came with saying; I will give you a divorce. I thought that was it for me that I was doomed to have failed relationships... until Lexi happened on a day I had given up all hope. The emergency landing was a blessing in disguise. I saw what she did for Dave and I will say it again I don't want to mess things up. I knew she had switched h
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AlexisI try to remember a time when my life flashed before my eyes ... Its happened a couple of times; but I come out alive every time it happens. I do know that I am alive on purpose and that whatever the reason is I am so grateful. When faced with danger ; your you are programmed as a human being to either run , fight or freeze . I didn't see the crash coming ... therefore my response time was no response at all .I had just finished watching the video Mary sent and I didn't respond . What I did however was schedule a message to go out Sunday Morning to Aaron. In the long text I told him how I truly felt and that the morning we got frisky , I had my mind made up already . I also apologized for not keeping my promise. The promise I made him twice because he needed to be sure that I wasn't going to bail. The night before Tina's wedding I felt a rare feeling. The same feeling I had felt with Simon but it faded after
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AaronThis by far has been the longest month and emotionally I am trying to cope but truth be told I can't. I pretend to be okay for David but as soon as the lights go off . I cry. I blame myself for Lexi bein in hospital . I can work from anywhere ; so for the past four weeks I've been working from the private room Alexis was in. Carlo Pirelli who happened to be involved in the accident too was also a regular visitor. He lost control of his car and the weather was also to blame. My routine had changed but as long as I could be here when Lexi wakes up I will have no regrets .I wake up; get ready for work and make breakfast for David that's if Mary isn't up before me we eat together as a family, Mary leaves for work before I do, I drop Dave at his new school , and make my way to the hospital. Mary picks Dave up and I go home for dinner later. Carlo Pirelli who happened to be involved in the accident too was also a regular visitor
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AaronI miss her. I miss Lexi so much. I was told by Brent that ;she woke up the day I went back to the office. I tried to call her but her phone was disconnected. I hadn't been to my penthouse loft for the whole week . I wanted to stay at the estate because it was closer to work. I was going back to the loft this evening. It was our usual family dinner night. I wanted to go out for a change with both Mary and Dave, so I made a reservation for us at an Italian restaurant by the hill. When I arrived at the loft I touched base with Dave, got cleaned up and Mary drove us to the restaurant. Once we were seated we ordered our food, and started to talk ."So Dave how was your week?"" Dad it was fine. ""Okay. ""Aunty Mary tell dad what you did ... or I will."Something was up. Mary looked guilty. Something in me wondered what did she do. I loo
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Chapter 51AaronBalance is the most fundamental aspect of life. whether you want to admit it or not every action or event ;evokes some sort of balance. At a point where I thought everything was coming together again, everything started falling apart. I knew my son was angry when he found his mothers pictures in a box of things I kept of Lara. I was going to give it to him on his birthday , but he found it when he was looking for something . The first question he asked was ; why did Alexis have similar features to his mother. I told him ; it was a coincidence. He snapped out of the blue and told me I was lying, he said; you are a sick selfish human being. I sat him down after his rant and I told him everything with regards to what happened when he was five years old. I also told him that I fought hard to get him back , and that I was sorry . We were still on moody terms with each other. He was moody and irritable if not mean to me until the accident happe
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AlexisI am not afraid of dreaming. I am afraid of staying awake and not allowing myself to dream big enough and believe that I can do ,and be anything I want. Even a super shero. I am also not afraid of waking up and dealing with the fact that I have an unfinished life, that I still want to live and make the most out of it…When you are living you constantly ask yourself if you are doing enough? When you are going you ask yourself if you did all you wanted and was it enough. When you’re gone what you never did is done and in between those three steps; your whole life flashes before your eyes.When I rolled down the stairs; I was afraid . I was afraid that I had failed my unborn baby by not keeping him safe, afraid that my relationship with David was never going to be the same , and more than that I was afraid that I had robbed my brother of becoming an uncle and Aaron becoming a father again.
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