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Chapter 11
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Alexis
Trauma has a way of coming back to haunt you when you're unaware. Post traumatic stress may be the cause; but getting over something that altered how you live,doesn't happen overnight.
No amount amount of pills, alcohol, distractions or episodes of anger outbursts can be enough. The fruit of my trauma is; my inability to stay stable, trust anyone, go into shell shock, and above all the most viable evidence of my audeal is the post traumatic stress and scars .
Any banging sound , scenes of violence, unexpected surprise greetings , sudden shocks, knocks you off kilter.
For someone who doesn't understand ; they may think you are troubled , have issues , or my favorite term she's weird.
Fact is that I am not weird. I have visible and invisible scars that are trying to heal. The most noticeable ones are the laceration stitches that are on my tummy . The scars se
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AaronWe all have walls that we put up. Some are so high that it takes forever to break down. Some walls are made of ; glass , metal bricks , or the hardest one of them all titanium.I fell for an amazing woman in a short space of time... over a period of time to come think of it, and I love her unconditionally.David also clicked with her which is a surprise because he never liked any woman I introduced to him; he was just always angry too when I was with Mia , and when I caught her physically and verbally abusing him I called it a day on a year long relationship. My boy has been through a lot and I know he's keeping something from me. He opened up to Lexi and Caleb...I wonder what I'm doing wrong that they are both doing right. Caleb has told me about Lexi's dad and how he almost killed her unintentionally. I asked her yesterday what really happened and she told me that her dad came back home one day after a night out wi
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AlexisWeddings are a blessing and a gift that keeps on giving when you plan your marriage. It is a union of two souls that are meant to be together. As a body you are one and when two become one; you not only bare witness to someone's life, but you become a team.I had woken up early on Saturday morning but Abro was fast asleep. I had fallen asleep next to Aaron and it felt right . When he woke up he; kissed me good morning and I wanted to wake him up properly but he stopped me . Disappointed as I was he more than made up for stopping me in the shower this morning . He feels really good although we are due for a proper session he had to double up . Don't get me wrong the quality was good but we could never be too careful and protection is the rule of thumb when we have sex... We both agreed.I had to leave first with Sarah and then go downstairs to meet Tina . We helped her get ready and the gl
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AaronAs a person you know when you have found something that is absolute. I thought Alexis was going to call me a freak for stalking her ; but she didn't, I thought she wasn't going to give me a shot but she did and I don't want to mess things up. For the first time in a long time Dave and I are on the same page. Before the main event he came clean about his abuse, both at school and when he was staying in CapeTown. He also asked me if he could change schools and I said yes.The wedding was amazing. I kind of went back to the day I said ; I do to Laura and the pain that came with saying; I will give you a divorce. I thought that was it for me that I was doomed to have failed relationships... until Lexi happened on a day I had given up all hope. The emergency landing was a blessing in disguise. I saw what she did for Dave and I will say it again I don't want to mess things up. I knew she had switched h
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AlexisI try to remember a time when my life flashed before my eyes ... Its happened a couple of times; but I come out alive every time it happens. I do know that I am alive on purpose and that whatever the reason is I am so grateful. When faced with danger ; your you are programmed as a human being to either run , fight or freeze . I didn't see the crash coming ... therefore my response time was no response at all .I had just finished watching the video Mary sent and I didn't respond . What I did however was schedule a message to go out Sunday Morning to Aaron. In the long text I told him how I truly felt and that the morning we got frisky , I had my mind made up already . I also apologized for not keeping my promise. The promise I made him twice because he needed to be sure that I wasn't going to bail. The night before Tina's wedding I felt a rare feeling. The same feeling I had felt with Simon but it faded after
Fated Collision Chapter 16
AaronThis by far has been the longest month and emotionally I am trying to cope but truth be told I can't. I pretend to be okay for David but as soon as the lights go off . I cry. I blame myself for Lexi bein in hospital . I can work from anywhere ; so for the past four weeks I've been working from the private room Alexis was in. Carlo Pirelli who happened to be involved in the accident too was also a regular visitor. He lost control of his car and the weather was also to blame. My routine had changed but as long as I could be here when Lexi wakes up I will have no regrets .I wake up; get ready for work and make breakfast for David that's if Mary isn't up before me we eat together as a family, Mary leaves for work before I do, I drop Dave at his new school , and make my way to the hospital. Mary picks Dave up and I go home for dinner later. Carlo Pirelli who happened to be involved in the accident too was also a regular visitor
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AlexisThere is a moment between sleeping and waking up ... the moment you take a deep breath ;come out of your REM state of mind , and open your eyes . I call that moment ; the breath of life. It is a pivotal moment when you realize that, you've made it through the night and you have lived to see another day... And then you breathe out. I call that a moment of thankfulness. Then there is a moment when all your switches jack up , and after being out of it for a while even if it was a couple of hours you consider yourself lucky .If you wake up next to someone you love to Pluto and back; when you wake up knowing that you have someone out there who cares that you are alive , or wake up knowing you will overcome whatever obstacles you face because you believe that everything is working for you and not against you... you are blessed.I have always had the fear of waking up and no one being there. I've lived alone for a while now so
Fated Collision Chapter 18
AaronI miss her. I miss Lexi so much. I was told by Brent that ;she woke up the day I went back to the office. I tried to call her but her phone was disconnected. I hadn't been to my penthouse loft for the whole week . I wanted to stay at the estate because it was closer to work. I was going back to the loft this evening. It was our usual family dinner night. I wanted to go out for a change with both Mary and Dave, so I made a reservation for us at an Italian restaurant by the hill. When I arrived at the loft I touched base with Dave, got cleaned up and Mary drove us to the restaurant. Once we were seated we ordered our food, and started to talk ."So Dave how was your week?"" Dad it was fine. ""Okay. ""Aunty Mary tell dad what you did ... or I will."Something was up. Mary looked guilty. Something in me wondered what did she do. I loo
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Alexis#song Max -Lights lowAlexisDreaming is good . What's even better is remembering what you dreamt during the night in the morning. .. However there comes a time when you need to wake up and stop dreaming. The question I always ask is; Why should we stop dreaming ? I have a tendency to answer my own questions while I talk and try and make sense of whatever the hell got me curious . You see dreams in a way are like reality .What you do consciously affects you at a subconscious level. As much as dreams are your brains way of escaping reality ...dreaming is your subconscious's way of making sense of your true nature ; about how you feel, what you really think of someone , and what scares you. You'd be surprised as to the levels you can ascend to when your mind is quiet. Dreaming in any form is important. It helps you unlock your imagination , and reconnect with the kid inside of you. The kid that believed that t
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Chapter 51AaronBalance is the most fundamental aspect of life. whether you want to admit it or not every action or event ;evokes some sort of balance. At a point where I thought everything was coming together again, everything started falling apart. I knew my son was angry when he found his mothers pictures in a box of things I kept of Lara. I was going to give it to him on his birthday , but he found it when he was looking for something . The first question he asked was ; why did Alexis have similar features to his mother. I told him ; it was a coincidence. He snapped out of the blue and told me I was lying, he said; you are a sick selfish human being. I sat him down after his rant and I told him everything with regards to what happened when he was five years old. I also told him that I fought hard to get him back , and that I was sorry . We were still on moody terms with each other. He was moody and irritable if not mean to me until the accident happe
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Fated Collision Chapter 49
AaronIn a split second everything can change.After leaving Alexis alone to prepare lunch , because Mary was held hostage by her crazy roommate who injured herself . I made the necessary arrangements to bring my sister home and hire in a caregiver to make sure she was stable .I dropped her off at the pent house and told her I would see her tomorrow. On my way back Lexi called me and I told her I was on the way. I had taken a short cut to get to the Estate because I was worried about David.He was behaving strangely this morning before he went to hang out with Angelo. Cleo had also called me to ask if everything was okay with both Dave and me. Truth be told we were not okay. He was mad at me because I apparently do not consider his feelings. When I asked him if he missed Alexis he didn't answer me he just went to the games room ,and to top it all off he locked the door so that I couldn
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Fated Collision Chapter 46
AlexisThe toughest conversations are the ones we’ve never had with our heart. Conversations with heart are always honest; pure, real and non pretentious. It is a non judgmental zone where you can bare all without any fear… The heart always knows the truth no matter what condition it is in; your heart will always lead you to the right answer . Your heart will always lead you home.I have had moments when I’ve doubted the very love I believed in.The day Simon Nathan broke my heart was one of them, the other was the day I lost Ben, and now… Now it’s whether or not I love Aaron. For the longest of times I have struggled with letting anyone in or talk about how I really felt about a situation. When I got together with Aaron over the time we were together, I had lost a part of myself. In my head I foolishly believed that true I had to sacrifice a part of myself to be with him. Tr
Fated Collision Chapter 45
AaronThree weeks laterMary relapsed again. I blame myself for that happening. Ever since the shooting I have been recovering very well and I am healing.Christmas was different this year though. Mary was okay until she lost it at Cleo for no apparent reason. Sarah was also shocked and as I suspected she gave Lexi hell in Cape Town. Lexi had been away and I hadn’t seen her in a long time a month to be exact and May went as far as blocking her on all accounts. Carl and the Perelli bunch joined us for the Christmas lunch.Alexis was six months pregnant and what hurt the most was missing out on a lot of things. The shooting wasn’t her fault .When I called CT he told me; She was out and she didn’t want to talk to me about anything. I knew that he bought a house just down the road and I had the innate feeling that Lexi was around. Our connection was and is always strong .
Fated Collision Chapter 44
44AlexisFeelsFear is the enemy of courage. Courage is what we have, when we look fear in the face and tell it to go to hell and stay there because life is calling. When life calls we answer ; however when life happens we react. How we react can determine the outcome of the situation. Given what was 'going on I couldn’t lose it and become a drama queen. Drama has its benefits when you want to make a statement ,and when you do make the statement make sure you don’t trip and fall on your face… it happens to the best of us when we least expect. Courage and kindness are not really rare traits. They are embedded in us ; we just need to flick the switch. What courage does is give us the power to overcome and with that comes understanding. Through understanding you learn to see a situation for what it is and take a gentle approach in helping someone. Kindness has never lost a battle or war. Coupled with hum
Fated Collision Chapter 43
AlexisMan downIt happened so fast. It happened so fast that; I didn’t have time to recognize that I was caught in a cross fire between the guys that Carlo and Aaron were shooting at. All I saw was smoke and Carl swearing. It wasn’t until I heard a loud thud on the floor that my heart stopped. Security had come through and a couple of other guys who had the same ring as Carlo . As soon as the smoke cleared Carl bent down to pick me up and give me a hug.“ Hey honey are you okay?”I nodded and looked for Aaron.“Aaron Carl where is Aaron?”I pulled back and looked at the kitchen island . I couldn’t see him .“Aaron!”Carl let go of me and ran to where Aaron was. My heart was already beating fast but it broke when I saw Aaron lying on the floor with a
