Chapter 1

The weather on the day she died was perfect. The sun was shining brightly against the blue sky which was unexpected as the weather had been cold and grey all week. The strangely good weather should have told her that something bad was going to happen.

The warm weather meant that Clara sat on the outdoor benches to eat her lunch instead of inside the school cafeteria. It was considerably more fun to sit outside by herself than in the busy cafeteria with all the noise and disdainful stares. 

She stuck out like a sore thumb at Trinity Academy in her second-hand school uniform. The only good thing right now was that she didn’t have long left to go before she graduated. 

Clara’s high intelligence unfortunately meant that instead of attending a standard high school where there would be more people in a similar situation as her, she had earned a scholarship to attend a posh private school where all the students came from rich and well-connected families. 

As a scholarship student with foster parents, she had become a target for bullying almost immediately. It had started out simply with name calling, then it had progressed to trashing her locker and now she had cigarette burns on her arms and her physical education uniform kept going missing and ending up in the trash. 

“Only six months left,” she said out loud to herself. 

Her attention turned to the nearby school sports field. Trinity Academy had a very good sports curriculum and their teams were doing well this year in the championships. There was a soccer game playing out on the nearest school field and her heart jumped when she recognised one of the players. 

It was Xavier King, the most popular boy at the school. He was the crush of most girls and sadly she could include herself in that group. 

He was perfect in every way from his brown wavy hair to his tall height to his deep voice. Xavier was in a few of her classes and had sat next to her in Physics for an entire semester. She had been too shy to speak to him outside of relaying practical instructions and answers to questions. 

Xavier had never bullied her so she still had a crush on him. Other crushes on boys had fizzled out fast once they had become bullies or supported others in being mean to her. Clara wasn’t naive enough to assume that Xavier was completely innocent and unknowing either. 

Everyone at Trinity Academy knew she was being bullied and it was apparently socially acceptable to join in because she was the poor scholarship student with no connections. By never doing anything to help, all students were culpable. 

Attempting to leave after her first month hadn’t worked. Her foster parents were determined for her to be the star child who graduated from an exclusive school despite being adopted. She was a poster child for foster children and she was stuck in her situation. 

Clara shook her head to banish those dark thoughts and reached for her sketchbook. Art class was her favourite class and she wanted to improve her sketches. Her current project was themed around sketching nature scenes and adding in fantasy details. 

She looked around for inspiration and the sight of Xavier’s flushed face on the sports field caused her to decide to take a break from her art project and do something more personal. 

She skillfully sketched the outline of his face and began to add in details like his high cheekbones and square jawline. When the bell rang to signal the end of lunch, she had the whole picture shaded and used the eraser on the end of her pencil to add shine to the eyes.

Clara hurriedly packed her sketchbook back into her school bag and the plastic wrappings from her lunch into the nearest trash can. Her next lesson was History and it was a long walk. She had learnt that it was easier to be on time and enter the classroom with everyone else rather than draw attention to herself by being the last person to arrive  

The lesson started and nothing of note occurred. It was a quiet time of year as the exams were several months away and lessons had a slower pace. Clara appreciated the calmness, but part of her preferred the frantic exam period. The bullying was less frequent in those months as most students had more important things to focus on and only a few could be bothered to trip her up or break into her locker.  

Math followed in much the same way. She got there on time and the classwork was extremely simple. Clara liked Math as everything had a correct answer and nothing was abstract

Then the school bell rang and it was the end of the school day. Clara packed up her bag and pulled her coat on. She had a walk to the bus stop, a long bus ride home and not much to look forward to. 

She walked through the archway outside the school and someone call her name.  

“Clara!” 

It was a very familiar voice. 

She turned around to see four girls in Trinity Academy uniform standing outside the entrance. Beckah, Joey, Victoria and Heather were constant figures in her school life. They were her original school bullies and were the worst out of all the people who had bullied her over the past three years.  

“Hey, come here before we make a scene in front of everyone!” Beckah called.

Clara turned around and reluctantly walked back through the archway. She couldn’t deny the four of them, she was outnumbered and outranked. 

“What do you want?” she asked once they had come to a stop. 

Beckah held out her hand and Clara frowned. They never normally wanted something from her. 

“Watch your manners. Is this how all unwanted children speak?” Beckah laughed. “I want your sketchbook. We have the same art project for homework and I can’t be bothered with it. You’ve got more free time than me. You can just draw more sketches.” 

Clara froze. If she handed over her sketchbook, they would see her drawing of Xavier. It was obviously a sketch of him. Her life would be even more unbearable if they saw it. She needed to keep the sketchbook out of their hands. 

She steeled herself to lie. 

“It’s a new sketchbook and I haven’t done any sketches for that project yet. I’ll do some later and give them to you tomorrow.” 

Her voice was steady and her eyes remained locked with Beckah’s steely gaze. 

Beckah’s hand dropped and she twirled a strand of her instead. 

“Oh. That sounds okay. You’d better cough up some sketches tomorrow or else.” 

She drew a line across her throat and the message was clear. Clara knew what she was going to spend her evening doing now. At least the drawing of Xavier was still secret. 

“Wait, I looked out the window at lunch and she was drawing something then,” Heather interjected. “She’s lying to you.” 

Her drawing of Xavier had been the second worst decision she had ever made. The only thing worse was her decision to take the entrance exam for Trinity Academy. 

Beckah’s eyes narrowed and Clara knew she was screwed. Beckah’s hand grabbed her backpack and wrenched it off her. Her sketchbook was immediately pulled out and opened. Clara waited in agony for the drawing to be discovered. 

She knew it had been seen when Beckah’s gaze changed and went back to her. 

“Well, it’s certainly not a landscape,” she commented in surprise.  

The other girls leaned over to have a look and a smirk appeared on Heather’s face. 

“Do you like him? I can’t say I blame you. He’s hot.” 

“Everyone here likes him, looks like the poor scholarship girl is no different,” Joey added. “What should we do with it?” 

The four girls exchanged glances and Clara felt dread in her stomach. 

“Let’s give her some help…” Heather said. “I know where to find him at this time. It’s a good drawing…” 

Clara wanted to cry in frustration. She couldn’t cope with the idea of her drawing being seen by Xavier. He would probably look at her in disgust. Her next six months would be filled with teasing about her crush on Xavier. 

Beckah nodded. 

“That’s perfect. She’s our friend after all. Friends help each other out. Come on Clara.” 

She wanted to run away, but she knew it wouldn’t do anything. There were four of them after all and they had resorted to violence before. Clara knew all she could do was grit her teeth, bear the embarrassment and go home. 

The walk to the sports centre was disappointingly short and all too soon Beckah was knocking on the door of the boys changing room. Clara stayed at the back of the group and kept her eyes on the floor. The door to the changing room opened and a male student stuck his head out and a blush formed on his face when he saw who was waiting outside. 

“Did you four come to see me?” he asked hopefully. 

Heather rolled her eyes. 

“Fucking hell, no. We wanted to speak to Xavier. We have something to give him.” 

The boy pulled a face and withdrew into the changing room. A moment later Xavier appeared in his soccer uniform. Clara wished a hole in the floor would open up and swallow her so she could escape the mortification that was certain to come. 

“How can I help you ladies?” he enquired curiously. 

Then their eyes met and a frown appeared on his face. 

“Are you four up to something?” 

Beckah giggled and hit his arm playfully.  

“Don’t be silly. We wanted to give you something. Come with us to the picnic tables outside. There are too many people around here. We don’t want to embarrass poor Clara after all.” 

Xavier raised his eyebrows and stared at her curiously again before leading the way out the sports centre to an area of picnic benches outside. 

“Out with it then,” he said. 

Beckah produced her sketchbook and Heather gripped her shoulders in a vice like grip. 

“Clara drew this for you,” Beckah informed him with a smile. “It’s very sweet of her to draw you.” 

Xavier took the sketchbook and opened up. He looked surprised at the sketch and he smiled. Clara felt her face grow hot and Heather’s grip on her tightened even more. 

“I’m surprised to see it. It’s really well done,” Xavier said to her slowly. “Should I be flattered?” 

Beckah’s smile became a snarl and Clara got the feeling that she wasn’t happy with Xavier’s reaction. That wasn’t good. 

“It’s creepy actually,” Beckah said loudly. “I was going to post about it on social media. She didn’t ask to draw you and I wonder if it’s even her first time. You should be worried, not flattered.” 

“You should get a restraining order against her,” Heather added. “She’s unnaturally infatuated.” 

“I completely agree,” Victoria interjected. “It’s not right.” 

“We need to post a warning on social media so everyone can help you out,” Joey suggested. 

Clara dared herself to look at Xavier to see his reaction to their lies. He wasn’t smiling anymore and his brow was furrowed. He met her eyes again and this time he looked suspicious. 

“I don’t really know what the best thing to do is. Please don’t draw me ever again,” he told her. “I don’t like it and it’s going to make more trouble for both of us.” 

He handed the drawing back to Beckah and Joey promptly took a photo of it on her phone. Clara could see that she already had a social media post drafted. Her life had just got worse. Everyone at school would see that post and there would be a fresh round of bullying. 

“Fine, I won’t draw you ever again. Can I leave now?” she requested. 

Heather’s grip stilled and Clara tried to pull away. The tight grip returned. 

“Apologise first,” she demanded. “You made everything awkward for him. Xavier is being very nice about this.” 

If doing that meant she could go home, she would have to do it. 

“Sorry for drawing you and making you uncomfortable,” she said in a shaking voice. 

Xavier nodded and turned away with a disappointed look on his face. Clara’s heart broke and she struggled to keep the tears in. Her illusion had been completely broken with that look. 

He walked away down the path leading back to the sports centre. Clara also turned to leave so she could finally leave the school grounds. She would gladly never return after this. 

“I’m going now,” she muttered. 

Beckah shoved her sketchbook into Clara's unwilling hands. 

“You can take this back and you’d better turn up with some sketches for me tomorrow.” 

Clara trembled at the thought of having to use that sketchbook so soon again. It wouldn’t even be for her own grades; it would be for Beckah’s benefit. 

“See you tomorrow!” Heather called out cheerfully. “If you don’t come, it will be even worse. Everyone will think you’re hiding out. Come in with your head held high. You’re good at that.” 

Clara winced. She had been so proud of herself in the first year for managing to always walk through the school gates with pride despite all the bullying from the previous day. Now she didn’t even bother. 

“Sure,” she said and trudged away. 

Once she was down the road and away from the school, the first tear started to fall. Her life for the next six months was going to be guaranteed hell. Dropping out was not a choice, she was too far into Trinity Academy’s curriculum to go to another school. 

She was doomed now and she felt like she would do anything to escape her cursed life.