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THIRTY SIX
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2022-07-06 16:56:35Related chapters
Falling In Love With Era THIRTY SEVEN
When the clock hit ten, I take her hand by mine. She needs to get out of here. She needs a fresh air. Era is silent the whole time I lead her to the shore. There's a fear of me what Emma would see us but when we get there, it's all empty spots. I keep thinking what if I told Era what really happened before with me and Cooper or just something she needs to hear out from me. She needs to understand and also have a clue why they cant be together. I don't want to her to get hurt all obse again. She's still my best friend and regardless of everything that haooend I think that still never changed. The first five minute, Era just cried and cried. Silent and the loud. Her body is steady and then it shakes. I could memorize the way she does that. The way, I think, she feels the pain and then suffers from it. It would be harder for her because she's the one watching someone she loves kissing someone else. I couldn't imagine how must that feel like. I don't I would be able to take it. It would
Last Updated : 2022-07-06Falling In Love With Era THIRTY EIGHT
The ceiling reminds me of the ceiling in Anne's apartment—white and plain like pure emptiness—I have my own room there. Me and Sophie would be running around in our room but only that I would her because she couldn't walk yet. I miss her so much. So damn much. Walking up to the thoughts of her starters my heart knowing I was able to forget my responsibility of me taking care of her instead of my best friend. It's my job but I'm here having a broken heart because I was so willing in giving my heart and trust to someone who is still in love with his ex. Sophie wouldn't be happy if she finds this out when she grow enough to understand things. Anne trusted me that me that I am here to fix what I left broken with Simon but last night, I didn't think I fixed it. I was confessing. Confessing. And he is leaving. It felt like a twice stab on my heart but I didn't show it him. I couldn't find the strength to even get the tears out. I was suddenly broken and empty. He's going to be living wit
Last Updated : 2022-07-06Falling In Love With Era THIRTY NINE
I have no idea where we're going. All I know is I need to be away from Emma far as I could. Dragging Era out of the house is the best idea I could have but then like the rest of my heart, I know nothing else except driving away without exact destination to go to. I dont want to be home right now. Its not best if we there. If I would be there, I know I will only keep thinking and overthinking because that's how I am. This tight feeling in my chest is slowly slipping away as the road gets quieter, the wind outside the window plays with our skin, and Era keeps her words inside her for the first hour. From time to time, she makes sure she doesn't look at me and ask what happened. I knew she saw it in her own eyes. And I feel so embarrassed because just last night she saw Cooper and Ana and this morning it was Emma and Mark. I feel so stupid bringing Era with me but she can't stay there with two strangers. She still holding her bag to her lap and I wonder if she ever wanted to ask me if s
Last Updated : 2022-07-06Falling In Love With Era FORTY
I finally said it. There's no turning back now. It's out in the open and I know how much shocking it is to him. Simon doesn't blink for next the ten seconds, he just stares at the wide open space in front of us. When he doesn't say anything yet, I think he wants me to say something more about it like convince him that it's true and this isnt a game I am playing. I gather the thoughts I need to say but I know somehow some of them will fail to come out. “Her name is Sophie. Two years ago, when I left Holy Cross, I was pregnant and Brad never knew about her.” I take a breath again. Simon finally looks at me again. “What do you mean he didn't know?” He sounds angry but keeping home of himself. I stutter and want to go on without him blowing this up. “We broken up before I even knew. Remember the night found me with my brine bike? That was night I found out I was pregnant.” I sigh deeply remembering that night. It was one of the fearful stare that I ever been. I was full of anxiety. T
Last Updated : 2022-07-06Falling In Love With Era FORTY ONE
Saturday night when I finally decide to give Anne a call. My heart beats miles away from here and I just can't wait to tell her the good news. For sure she would be as happy as a running deer. That's who she is just being happy for my own happiness. Nothing ever compares the feeling of this to finally have Sophie with me. To live with me without worrying about Simon's reaction because he is happy. I'm glad that he didn't try point my mistakes or judgemental about it. I am one of the happiest girls ever alive.“Come on, Anne. Pick up the phone.” I whisper as a prayer. I bite on my lips as the phone continues to ring. She doesn't answer. I try again. Once. Twice. Four time. Nothing. Then I have to try again. She finally answers. There's a random noises in the background. It's been a while since I hear her voice and I can't even make out where she is. “Hello? Anne?” “Yes?” She pants, catching her breath. “Hey, sorry about that. It's just that Sophie is a wild kid. She keeps running a
Last Updated : 2022-07-06Falling In Love With Era FORTY TWO
When I get home from the grocery store, there's a white envelope sitting on my doormat. On the back of it Emma's name is written on right bottom part. I feel a sudden excitement what's inside it. I never heard of her ever since that morning. I know I'm supposed to be mad at her but I can't stop thinking about her these days that passed. I unlock the front door. Sit the bags on the counter and go to my room so I can focus on reading it alone. My bed isn't made it so that's not interesting really. If she's going to tell me to come with her in LA, I would never hesitate. I would do it. If she will say she doesn't love Mark anymore, that will be the time I will tell her that I can forgive and start over again. No matter what, I'm just gonna love the what I do now. A text enters into my notification, distracting me for a second. It's Era. I grab my phone and see what she says : Sophie will be here in an hour. Come straight here if you get home. :)I type fast and reply: at home, be there
Last Updated : 2022-07-06Falling In Love With Era FORTY THREE
I remember when I turned sixteen, with everyone gathered in the living room. When I say everyone, what I mean is my family and Simon's family. Mrs. Wellis, Kris, Simon's mother, was holding a pink cake while my mother was lifting the banner that says Happy Sweat 16.With a funny bold text in it, I couldn't stop laughing because of 'sweat' word instead of 'sweet'. Anyways, I enjoyed that day. Well almost not. My father went home with a friend. Kim wasn't there because she has date that time. But Simon was totally there. He was never absent in my special day. The thing is that day, I wish he didn't show up because my father' s friend brought his pretty daughter. She was wearing a black skirt. Her hair was in a high ponytails. Her blue denim jacket was matching with her eyes. In short, she was pretty. Pretties than I ever could. While she was all that, I was wearing a dress with its sleeves kept falling to my shoulders because it didn't fit me. Simon had her his eyes on her the entire ti
Last Updated : 2022-07-06Falling In Love With Era FORTY FOUR
The moment I hold her hand I never want to let it go. Even how rough the road may seem, her laugh is a sound of bright days. Her eyes shines even in the dark and it's addicting. I was guilty not wanting to be with Era for tonight. I just want to know Anne a little bit. Maybe that sounds selfish but it's how I feel. If it doesn't click then I won't go further. She seems nice. She's kind in her words like they're precious pearls. “Do you want some ice cream?” I ask after when we finally find a bench near the shore. I figure she's not the kind of girl who would for wild rides like this. But she rode the horse with me. What I like about her so far is that she just keeps a smile on and laughs at my silly jokes. I could see Emma on her. A prt of her in Anne. “I don't really like ice cream though. But I would like some popcorn and soda.” She says, patting the seat before she sits on it. When I come back with her orders, a tall guy is talking to her. His face is not familiar at all. He h
Last Updated : 2022-07-06
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Falling In Love With Era FIFTY SEVEN
FIVE YEARS LATERERA'S POV “Mommy! Mommy!” I run upstairs and trying my best not to think of any bad thing that can happen to Sophie. She's sitting in the bathroom. “What happened?”I ask her, holding her hands. “Can you get my Zoe in my bedroom?” A relief of sigh come out of me. Zoe is her teddy bear. The only thing she can play with among all other toys she have. I don't think it's one of the fun thing about being a young kid. You get to choose which toy is your favorite. If it's a plastic toy. A feathery toy. It's all up to you. And it's one of my favorite thing to do for Sophie. Being able to give her the one that she likes the most. Sometimes it reminds me of my childhood and it often leads me to remember Simon. It's been five years. Yes. Five years. I don't how will I feel. Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever get tot he point of seeing each other again. And I have come to the point of not liking myself thinking about it. It's making me sad sometimes. I do feel like I have giv
Falling In Love With Era FIFTY SIX
I finally decided to let go of the house. Era have put a sign in front of their house that says property for sale. The last morning I have was spent staring at the sign for a few hours. I wasn't feeling happy about it. It was a lonely sight for me. I was empty. The soaring loneliness have become more evident. If only Richard didn't have to be gone. Everyone showed up at the funeral. Richard's family was there. Dad was there. We talked a bit and then he went back to New York. He is apparently a business man. A man of success. A man of ambition. Richard is a man of balance. He is still successful. He gave time to his family. He have happiness to both. I really see the different. But what can it do. Things will never be the same. Some little words from my own father aren't enough. I needed him more than anything. This is something I wish he have given me. Sometimes, I just want Richard to be my father but he isn't the name on the paper but he has a piece in my heart that stays the same
Falling In Love With Era FIFTY FIVE
That's when I know. I know that something is going on. The way my mother wipes roughly broken wipes the tears on her face like a kid getting a cry from a horrible moment. From a heartbreaking moment. Through the window, I watch her make her way to our front door. .the door flies open, “Simon. It's Richard.” She breaks into tears. Her face in a crumpped confused, scared and in disbelief scene. I immediately meet her at the door.“What happened to him?”“When I step in, he was lying on the floor. He was....he's...Simon... He's dead, Simon. He's dead.” She can't seem to push every right word to say but she's able to breathe afterwards. “What do you mean he's dead?” I pace through the floor, trying to understand everything she's saying. I'm sure Kim doesn't know this. But how could Richard be dead? Me and mom ran back to the Fin house. It's hard to believe it. It's hard to believe that a person could be dead when you just saw them a few days ago, like a minute ago. Is this a dream? I a
Falling In Love With Era FIFTY FOUR
Endings can sometimes feel like numbing and at the same time you're hoping it's not happening. But the truth is you're not fearing over the end, you're fearing over the change. Because that exactly what I'm fearing now. The change. Sometimes I want to dig open the future and be there and let it become known to me but it's impossible to happen. I feel like I have let the things come to an end without doing something to prevent it. End and change are teo of the most scary things to happen. And mostly the change is what I fear because it is just the way it is and that I can never do anything to with it.I've been sitting in the kitchen table, eating my cereal, and drinking my cold coffee. But it takes me hours to even take a sip of it. In the morning I just feel my hand heavy and I can't even move to lift my cup. My mother called me a few times this morning but even if it was just right next to me. I didn't move a nerve to answer it. The phone rings ten times and I just ignore it like
Falling In Love With Era FIFTY THREE
It's Friday afternoon, 1:56 P.M. I'm walking toward the front door when I see a glimpse of Era outisde their house, throwing the garbage at the same time. I blink a few times, hoping she would be gone then but I guess I don't believe it right away because I know there's no way she's home right now. But she's still there and my heart is beating right out of my chest the moment it sinks in. Everything is happening so fast that I already find myself running towards where she's standing. Her back is on me and when she turns around, there's no trace of shock in her face. Was she expecting me to be here in the first place? It's been three days since I was back from New York. Three days since she was gone. Gad I miss her to much. I can't believe this enough that she's here. Alive and smiling at me as if she never really disappeared. “Era?” I finally say. “Hey.” I find myself shy in front of her. Her smile only widens and then she jumps to wrap her arms around me. I only close my eyes and
Falling In Love With Era FIFTY TWO
I've never been to New York. Well, it was once when my mother took me to meet my father. I was probably five years old at that time. I didn't really know what happened and forgotten how it felt like so I think right now, this is my first time to actually be here and be fully present.If I have one more reason to be here, I would know but right now, one real reason I have is Era. I've been tossing and turning on my sleep last night. Well, technically, I wasn't really sleeping, I was awake and staring at the dark space covering the ceiling. Maybe it was meant to happen that way. To always think of her so I can decide whether I come to New York. Tell her what I feel towards her. Tell her how much I want her. I love her. Gad, it took me years of heartbreak to even decide on this one. To finally confront her with my feelings. I don't know what to expect but I want this to happen. It needs to happen. It has to happen. Because if not now, when? I can't watch her go and be merry with Brad, b
Falling In Love With Era FIFTY ONE
I've never been to New York. Well, it was once when my mother took me to meet my father. I was probably five years old at that time. I didn't really know what happened and forgotten how it felt like so I think right now, this is my first time to actually be here and be fully present.If I have one more reason to be here, I would know but right now, one real reason I have is Era. I've been tossing and turning on my sleep last night. Well, technically, I wasn't really sleeping, I was awake and staring at the dark space covering the ceiling. Maybe it was meant to happen that way. To always think of her so I can decide whether I come to New York. Tell her what I feel towards her. Tell her how much I want her. I love her. Gad, it took me years of heartbreak to even decide on this one. To finally confront her with my feelings. I don't know what to expect but I want this to happen. It needs to happen. It has to happen. Because if not now, when? I can't watch her go and be merry with Brad, b
Falling In Love With Era FIFTY
“So you're going back tonight?” My father asks after he talked to Brad in the kitchen. Brad nods and says, “Yeah. I think Era wants us to go back right away.” He then eyes me and raise one eyebrow. I follow them to the porch while I leave Sophie playing on a little crib my father made for her. He's such a sweet father. Even when I was little he would always got things for me. “But I think we will have dinner with you tonight. Is that...”He speaks even before I can complete my sentence. “Come on. You're my daughter. Of course I would want to have dinner with you here. Me and Simon will be cooking barbecue. What do you request having?” When his name pops out of his mouth, it makes me look down at my shoes. ”Wine, I guess.That's fine too.” I just say. It hits me then that it's Simon and father that have been getting closer now. Will I be able to concentrate later when he will be here, eating dinner with us? With me and Brad on the same table? How would he feels for that? I was broke
Falling In Love With Era FORTY NINE
The moment Brad turns to my main street, my heart skips a beat. There's always something about this street that makes my heart goes that way. Something something about this street that reminds me so much about the entirety of my life. Like the trees next to it, the side walk. The matching cream color of the houses. The way the wind makes almost every little tiny objects move in the middle of a hot afternoon in Holy Cross Village. That name sounds childhood to me. A childhood that was long go forgotten.It's past afternoon, now. Brad and I have been listening to the radio for the last two hours. After that crying and feeling it all about his past, I just then felt steady and fairly positive about this life of mine. Life isn't always going to be that excellent and, all the time, happy. I know that. But this moment with my daughter and Brad marks a good memory somehow. There's always going to be failures and grieves that will be part of life and we should take part of it. Allow them to b
