FOUR

The flashes of blue imprinted within the scope of my mind made it hard to focus. 

Once again a flame has been ignited to burn fiercer beyond what I knew. I kept wondering how is it these emotions are attacking me for someone I hardly knew. 

And yet maybe it's because he's far beyond what the surface showed that the thirst stems from.  I kept wondering how one can go from a dishevelled look consisting of crimson eyes and bloody knuckles to a flawless suit that probably cost more than my apartment.

Donovan threw numerous questions my way that day after Nicholas disappeared. Although I found his concern endearing I knew I was more than capable of handling myself. He was reluctant to accept this truth but he had to either way knowing that I would do anything I chose to without ever needing him or anyone else's permission.

With this ability of being able to think for myself having been instilled by my parents throughout my life, came an ability to learn when to smell bullshit from a mile away - pardon my crude slip of tongue. Unfortunately with every advantage that comes in every form of life a disadvantage is always lurking. 

Within the few short months I worked in that shop the disadvantage waltzed through the doors of the shop by the name of Roland. A man who would not let a wedding band resting on his finger deter him from pursuing any woman.

At first I was courteous in my dismissal of his advances. I wasn't an idiot; no good ever comes from dealing with a married man.

Gripping the counter to withhold the urge to slap him, I took a much needed deep breath before biting back, "For the last time I am not interested." 

His obsidian eyes narrowed before his smile dropped to an ugly scowl that did nothing to unnerve me as I stood my ground.

"Roland, your wife came by the other day with some homemade muffins. I've been meaning to return the container to her," Ms Friedman said coming to stand by my side placing the container onto the counter wearing a sweet grin, "I strongly suggest you take it back home to her and your children, where like you it belongs."

"Relax. I'm just making polite conversation with Aaliyah," he scoffed refusing to move from his place. 

The audacity of the man never failed to baffle me. "There are a lot of things I won't tolerate in my shop. I've tried biting my tongue but if you keep harassing her -"

"Fine," he rose his hands up in surrender glancing in my direction. 

The slow trail his eyes made up my figure made my skin crawl and once he grabbed the container and left I grew relaxed once the heavy weight on my shoulders had been removed. I kept my gaze on his profile watching as he crossed the street in order to convince myself he was really gone, "I swear men like him make me wonder if marriage is even worth it." And to be honest it was quite true. 

Though my parents had been together for years, unbeknownst to them in the late hours of the night I often hid behind the safety of corners watching them argue. 

I often saw my mother give my father the silent treatment because relationships were messy. They were burdensome things that can make one question if they had been better off alone but they made it eventually. 

Then there were relationships like Roland's that left me withering in uncertainty at the prospect of love.

"It's unfortunate to be honest. I've been trying to get her to leave but the poor thing is scared. The idea of being out on her own is what keeps her chained to that piece of shit," Ms Friedman grumbled crossing her arms across her chest. I had only heard her curse on a handful of occasions so without even meaning to I giggled lightly. "There are some good ones out there. It might take rummaging through rubbish before you get one. But once you do the feeling is incredible, it can be so thrilling and dangerous even..." she paused and when I turned to look at her just from the look on her face I could tell she was mentally in a whole other realm.

"Don't you think the danger is what keeps it interesting?" I chuckled lightly. She peered my way, her eyes held a light I wanted to delve deeper into. 

She looked away, mumbling lowly but not too low to the point I'd be unable to hear, "How you take it is literally up to you. But I'll be frank I prefer the simple things," she concluded before scurrying off to the kitchen leaving me with only my company to process her words.

Marcie came out from the same direction her mother went and nudged my shoulder gently, "What was that all about?" she inquired taking a seat beside where I stood. 

Rolling my eyes at the smile she was giving me, I chuckled dismissing the question, "Nothing. As much as I appreciate the attention I prefer to be invisible to some people. What about you do you have anyone in your life?" I asked, only to instantly regret it when her smile dropped. She shuffled in her seat biting her lower lip as the silence sunk in. Feeling awkward I cleared my throat and attempted to erase the moment from our memories, "Just forget I asked. Besides you don't have to say anything if you don't feel comfortable because it's really not my business."

"No, no, its fine," she muttered leaning back in her seat, looking off to the side, "I had someone but it didn't work out. It's just one of those things that happened that you try to forget, you know?" she continued finally looking my way.

Despite my lack of experience with the opposite sex, I knew there were some doors of my past that I preferred to leave closed. It was best to bury them away sometimes and seeing the sadness in her eyes made me comprehend the need that rests in some people to breathe a different air.

She was still young and within the time I had been getting to know her, I could see her becoming one of the people I could be myself around. 

Deeming her a friend in that moment I had no issue allowing the next set of words to slip out, "Why don't we go out on Saturday night to a club?" 

Her eyes nearly bulged out of her sockets and before she could refuse the offer I raised my hand silencing her, "Before you say no, just know it doesn't have to be a club. It can be a bar just somewhere we can grab some drinks and just hang out. Plus I could invite my friend, Donovan. He's really cool and it'll be a good chance for you to know a few more people. You can't honestly tell me you enjoy just going to school, working, then going home and repeating that exact same process?"

She giggled at the incredulous look I was giving her and shook her head. "How you have my mother convinced you'll be such a good influence on me is truly baffling," she joked. 

I leaned forward checking the door to ensure her mother was nowhere in sight and whispered, "It'll be our little secret," and winked causing her to burst out laughing. "Besides I am a good influence. I'm helping you get out of your comfort zone."

"Alright, I'll hang out with you guys but only if you guys at least promise to come to an art exhibit. My work is going to be on display and I'm pretty nervous about it," she replied fiddling with her fingers and nervously peaking in my direction biting her bottom lip. 

"Of course, I'll come. It's not every day you get to brag to people that you know the artist. And congratulations, your mother must be so proud."

"She's excited, she's literally been inviting every single person who walks into the shop. It's embarrassing," she whined rubbing her temples eliciting a small chuckle out of me. 

I remember experiencing the same thing with my parents' behaviour when I had been chosen to recite my poem at a school event. I will never admit it to them out loud but I missed those times.

***

It was a late afternoon when I left work. 

Despite my insistence to stay and help clean up, Ms Friedman was against me moving around the streets too late at night. 

I could vividly remember a time I broke curfew after getting carried away with friends when I was 16. The look of pure rage emanating in my mother's eyes would forever remain a moment in my life I could attest to having once seen a glimpse of Hell. If the warnings from pastors in churches weren't suitable to scare the Word into me, my mother surely did. As I sauntered at a leisure pace in the late afternoon I  couldn't help but wonder what kind of mother I would be to my own children. 

I did consider having them in my future but that would happen at a stage much later. 

Catching sight of my apartment as I turned the corner I looked down momentarily to bring out my keys.  Unfortunately my behaviour didn't allow me to see the figure coming in front to block my path. Such that when my arm was roughly yanked I didn't feel a shift in the air but only felt an ache permeate in my arm making me wince.

His eyes bore down into mine to reveal an untamed beast staring back at me whilst the rest of his face was contorted to an ugly snarl, "No one ever says no to me!" he spat with venom. 

As my heart hammered against the cage in my chest, I yanked it back with annoyance, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, ROLAND!" I yelled putting my hand into bag to pull out the pepper spray I bought.

"Or else what?!" he challenged seething, pulling me in closer to take a whiff of the liquor on his breath. I would have gagged from the repugnance I felt if it weren't for it being overpowered by a sudden feeling of confusion at another voice joining a conversation I wanted no part of. 

"Unless you want your body to be found in a ditch, I strongly suggest you leave her alone." 

It didn't take much time to know to whom that voice belonged and when Nicholas' face appeared in my peripheral vision I wasn't the least bit surprised. Behind him stood two of his men and though the scowls on their faces weren't directed at me, I grew fearful just looking at them. 

Roland scoffed pushing me roughly away. The force behind the action made me fall on the ground scraping my elbow in the process. Yelping at the pain I froze at the scene suddenly before my very eyes of a silver pistol against Roland's temple whilst Nicholas gripped him by the throat tightly with his other hand. In terms of stature Nicholas was slightly bigger and towered over Roland whose face paled slightly when the other male pulled him in to whisper something in his ear. 

Stuck in place against the concrete bed  my heart grew limp unsure of what to do.  Roland scrambled off looking visibly shaken by the way he tripped over his own feet after being hit by the butt of the gun.

It was only when I saw a pale hand reach out towards me that my once blurred senses came back to earth causing alarm bells to begin ringing in my head. 

Nicholas' hand remained trapped mid-air waiting for me to slip mine into it like the last time. However, the circumstances were different and sensing the fear and apprehension he bent down coming nearly eye level with me, "Guess you were right about me possibly punching or kicking. But I would never do that to you. You're the last person I'd ever want eating my bullets."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" I managed to utter trying to get my breathing under control. 

His brow lifted as his head cocked to the side, "It's supposed to silence those voices in your head telling you to run. Now come on let's get you inside," he concluded standing up to reach his hand out to me. 

When he noticed I hadn't made a move he scoffed crossing his brawny arms staring down at me like a parent would to a child misbehaving, "Either you get up," he paused allowing the corners of his lips to lift whilst his eyes scanned my body, "or I pick you up." 

I briefly glanced to the side when I noticed one of his men chuckle lightly whilst being jabbed in his stomach by the other. The fact they were unfazed was further testament to the fact they were used to having Nicholas show violent tendencies.

"I don't need your help getting up," I grumbled standing up quickly and swatting his hand away which made him frown. 

He buried his hands into the pockets of his grey slacks and I proceeded to dust off the dirt off my pants whilst he continued eyeing my profile. "You need to get that taken care of," he pointed to the blood making a silent path down my arm. 

"I'll be fine."

"Tough girl, huh?" he snickered following me up the steps casually much to my disappointment. 

The man may be handsome I admit but I couldn't particularly overlook the presence of a gun currently situated in his holster, "You know this is usually the part the hero gets a kiss from the damsel, right?"

"I had the situation under control, I had pepper spray," I defended pulling out my keys only to have the man laugh. 

"Whatever you say," he chuckled coming to stand beside me drenching my senses with his spicy scent,

"Since we didn't get a chance to talk the last time once your friend showed I thought that maybe today we could."

"I'm not in the mood," I grumbled opening my door once I slipped past. Unfortunately the moment I tried to shut the door, the man lodged his foot prohibiting me to go any further. 

Groaning I looked up to find him smirking, "I understand I made you uncomfortable by pulling out that gun but if you ask me that asshole deserved it. I'm not the type of person who immediately reaches for their gun in the presence of conflict but I will if it's to protect good people," he replied. 

Though I was doing my best to try create a distance physically due to the unexpected events that occurred I could feel my resolve crack a bit. I could feel the brick walls I was building wither at his sincerity. "You hardly know me, why risk getting into trouble with the cops for a mere stranger?" 

His eyes swept over me, the question though innocent at first glance held a deeper meaning given the answer he gave, "I've seen a lot of terrible people in my life. I know the horrid stench that rolls off their bodies to the point if one isn't careful you can choke on it. Yet around you, I can breathe. And believe me, even if he was to go to the cops," his eyes twinkled with clear mischief and cockiness as his pink lips stretched into a grin, "they wouldn't do shit."

Before I could ask why he seemed so sure he pushed himself off my doorframe and proceeded to walk down the steps. He exchanged a few words with his men and opened the backseat of the car to bring out a bag. Staring at him in confusion he came back up the steps holding it up.

"Consider this my peace offering, I hope you like Chinese?"

"I only agreed to coffee."

"So I didn't mess it up to the point we've completely removed it off the tabl -"

"Now you're just putting words in my mouth," I pointed out narrowing my eyes on the man. 

He raised his hands in mock surrender smiling coyly before he pushed the door open ultimately nudging me aside. Without much effort he invaded my space along with my mind further to the point I was unsure of what to do. The man's unpredictable nature was already making me question the blueprints I'd been handed on how to deal with men. 

His eyes took in every corner of my home slowly memorising every corner. Eventually he moved further inside and once he placed the bag onto my kitchen counter he turned back finally acknowledging me once more. "Let's get you cleaned up," he stated pointing towards my elbow whose searing pain had momentarily escaped me.

"I'm fine; I'll just put som -"

"Where's your first aid kit?" he interrupted wearing a tone that left no room for negotiation. 

Releasing a sigh I marched into my bathroom taking out the bandages and disinfectant. I could hear the bag rustling and it wasn't long before the smell invaded my apartment. 

My stomach grumbled as I took a seat by the stool situated by the counter trying to focus on treating the wound. But it was hard to keep my eyes from straying towards the man opening my drawers to take out my plates and cutlery. The whole image of him just moving around my kitchen as if this was an everyday thing was one thing that I think made me keep my words locked away.

Betrayed and falling prey to the temptation of curiosity moving swiftly in my frame I allowed my eyes to land one quick peek at his physique. His movements were swift, certain and sure. The way his brows were knit together and his pink tongue darted out in concentration  was rather adorable in a way. Swallowing the lump forming in my throat I looked away despite wanting to keep looking only to feel his fingers grip my elbow eliciting an electric spark up my arm.

Without another word I found him seated next to me, I hadn't heard him move at all and despite wanting to protest at the unrequested aid I found it difficult to lift my tongue to object. Instead I allowed my lips to remain sealed even when I wanted to wince at the sting when the disinfectant made contact with my skin. After placing the bandage his fingers moved in a tender motion. The warmth radiating from his rough fingers soothed the adrenaline pumping through my veins.

And if there's anyone keeping track so far, the flash of the silver gun unfortunately failed to resonate any fear inside me for much longer. As I reflect on that moment with a man whose killer gaze nearly ruptured everything in its path, the process of breaking the promises I once made had just begun...