FIVE

Pushing the plate away against the table I looked up at him, "Okay... talk," I demanded. 

His eyes snapped up to meet mine holding a glint in them.

We had been sitting here in the kitchen for some time where the only sound prohibiting us from achieving total silence was the occasional scraping of cutlery against the ceramic plates. 

"That's fair. I guess in a way I have been prolonging the inevitable. So..." he paused rubbing his hands together as if he was about to partake in a strenuous task, "I was upset that night. And in the midst of that anger I wound up punching a wall - pretty stupid as fuck, I know," he chuckled humourlessly," But all logic escapes me sometimes and I wound up sitting on your steps just trying to hide away," he concluded waiting expectantly for my reaction.

I eyed his profile, scoping out his panorama for any imperfections, for any loose string sticking out from his armour consisting of Italian fabric to disrupt the illusion. Falling short to the point of experiencing mild annoyance I replied, "For a man so insistent on explaining himself you really are stingy when it comes to details." 

His brow rose at my unexpected tone I'm sure. But I had been waiting long enough for all the questions in my head to be answered. And I'll be damned if I didn't make the most of the moment since he was the one who barged into my home. The tick in his jaw almost made me convinced I may have said something to irritate him. Yet when he shifted and rolled his shoulders to lean forward, something told me I may have misinterpreted the possible reaction especially when he said, "What would you like to know?"

And there it was... the real question holding everything in a rigid balance between what most consider plausible and a mere fantasy. 

"Who are you?"

He scoffed, scraping his fingers lightly against his chin," What does that have to do with anything?"

"You and I both know there's no way I can overlook your behaviour, not only from the night we first saw each other to now. I mean you walk around with two men and don't you dare tell me, they're your babysitters," I looked off to the side contemplating my next set of words. "For some time I managed to convince my mind into believing that somehow you were just a figment of my imagination and now you're back to disrupt my quiet life destroying the explanation I built. So be real with me..." I kept my tone from wavering or being swayed by the intensity in his gaze.

The corners of his mouth lifted eventually before a hearty laugh tumbled out of him and though I wanted to remain serious I could feel the corners of my lips lift slightly, "Fine. I mean I did come to you. And honestly" he breathed sobering up quickly, his smile dropping along with his eyes. "I'm a pretty normal guy."

He looked bemused at my scoff given the way his eyes lifted and turned to slits but we both knew the use of the word 'normal' couldn't be applied when it came to him. However, he continued rubbing his chin with the tips of his fingers as if in deep thought, "I'm used to having things go my way, which is only appropriate considering how my life has been designed," he chortled leaning forward, "but there are aspects to it that make me qualified to deem it normal."

I waited patiently for him to continue, the eagerness inside was dying to ooze out at the way I grew invested at the invisible shadow lurking. I didn't dare ask if there was another part he was hiding, it was axiomatic at this point especially when he smirked, the pleasure of seeing me hanging on to his every word evident. "Do I still scare you?"

"The only real emotion I can pin point in relation to you is mere fascination." 

He leaned forward even more aggravating my interest to a whole new level at the secret about to slip past his lips. Keeping my breathing under control at the sudden proximity the increase in speed within my chest was only a result of the green flecks I hadn't noticed until now resting comfortably amongst the sea of blue. I could only hope he couldn't hear my heart beating.

"Sometimes..." he paused looking towards my front door as if to convince himself that no one nor anything would burst through the door due to the severity of what he was about to say, " sometimes..."

Yes... this was it," I see dead people."

Releasing a breath I never knew I had been holding I sucked my teeth annoyed at the laugh tumbling out of him. I felt silly to say the least and I stood up taking both our plates ignoring the way he kept snickering at my expense. "Okay, okay I'm sorry. I just had to. You can't blame me for having a sense of humour. Besides saying that felt a lot better than telling you, I'm a made man."

Stopping by the sink I turned towards him in confusion at the last statement and found him wearing a silly grin on his face. "What the hell does that mean?" I asked leaning against the sink crossing my arms, the innocent move causing his eyes to drop down to my chest. And despite my lack of experience with men I wasn't oblivious to the impulses that often controlled how people operated.

What could I say, mama didn't raise no fool. And the lack of effort on his end to hide the apparent gawking triggered a heat to erupt inside my belly but I had asked a question. So despite how much I wanted to bask in the attention I cleared my throat pulling his eyes away from my chest to meet my gaze. "Where are you from?" he inquired, on the surface the question could be considered simple and harmless but I knew he was deflecting, my vision narrowed to a pin prick on the individual seated by my table as if he owned it. His presence was a bit overwhelming, the energy rolling off his body in waves made me self-conscious and aware of my surroundings. 

Under normal circumstances anyone in my position would have never given him the time of day, unfortunately the urge to know more and explore was what drove me to leave the familiar and willingly tread into a new city in the first place. And it would probably be the only plausible explanation I could give to anyone possibly asking why I didn't put up much of a fight into him barging further into my life.

Just as I opened my mouth to reply I was cut off by a knock on my door, "Boss?" a voice mumbled on the other end, silently he stood up opening my door. And though I could hardly hear much of the conversation that consisted of hushed tones and soft mouse like squeaks the name 'Sonny' managed to escape the veil of secrecy cast as I took in the expansive landscape of his back. Clicking the door shut he turned to me,

"Looks like we're going to have to cut this conversation short. But I can assure you...' he stated moving towards the counter to retrieve his suit jacket that he had discarded, "I'll be back."

"I know," I shrugged nonchalantly only to have him falter in his movements to observe me, which was another thing I noticed about him. He seemed to take the time to watch you all in an aim to figure you out,

"And I thought I was cocky," he chuckled.

"I think the more appropriate term is confident. You owe me an explanation so I don't think the debt is covered," I clarified pushing myself off the sink to come stand before him not the least bit deterred by his height. "You owe me answers too," he grinned slipping a wink that most would find cheesy and as a result I wound up rolling my eyes whilst watching him slip through the door and out of my space to probably lodge another gun against another person's temple. And yet that alone did nothing to dim the excitement inside me at seeing him again.

***

"So when you become famous from your art, can I be one of the first people you take when you go on vacations in your private jet?" Donovan pleaded looking at Marcie who had become his target. She giggled lightly at the request and I reached out to smack him on the head. He winced in pain turning to throw daggers my way,

"You only met her less than two hours ago and you already asking for favours. Unbelievable," I scoffed taking a sip of my beverage. We decided to meet up at a local bar, it wasn't too loud nor have the blaring flashing lights in clubs and it was a much more relaxed vibe for anyone looking to have fun whilst maintain decent conversation. We sat by a table not too far from where a few people were playing pool and besides the light chatter, music played in the background from a jukebox.

"I feel like we're practically family now," he countered looking towards her for some form of support, "and besides I'll give you free legal advice."

"That's it?" she queried in faux disbelief whilst I snickered beside her at the futile attempt made by him.

"Screw you guys, you don't know a good deal when you hear one so just forget it," waving his hand dismissively he playfully pouted in the kind of fashion that reminded me of my little cousin Madison whenever something didn't go her way. "Is he always this dramatic?" she whispered switching her gaze between the both of us. "Sometimes but trust me it's better to have him act like a five year old than be all serious. When he's serious it's like he has a stick lodged so far up his as -"

"I can hear you," he interrupted giving me a pointed look. "As if that will stop me," I playfully mocked not feeling the least bit guilty for the insult I hurled his way considering this was how we normally behaved. But beyond the playful banter was a mutual respect for the other. Taking a sip of my drink I nearly choked on it when she said, "You guys are such a cute couple." Donovan sputtered his words trying to explain failing miserably.

Deciding to step in after clearing my throat from nearly choking I cleared up the misunderstanding, "We're actually just friends."

Marcie's cheeks grew pink and she apologized profusely at the mistake and I could tell she was embarrassed, "It's okay. There's no need to apologize," and I meant it knowing it was a genuine accident. In all the time I had known her the time we went out for drinks had been the most relaxed I had seen of her so far and she seemed to be in a good mood getting along with Donovan, the last thing I wanted was for her to feel awkward and grow self-conscious of the slight blunder that anyone could make. 

We managed to slip back into a natural rhythm blabbering on about nothing serious, offering to get another round he momentarily left to grab some more drinks for us. Once another song came on, Whitney Houston's version of "I Will Always Love You", it sparked a memory of my mother who once told me of how she and my father once went out on a date and how it was whilst swaying slowly to that song amidst a sea of bodies on a dance floor that she knew he was the one. "This is such a classic, till this day I can still recite the lines from "the Bodyguard" word for wor -" stopping short in confusion at the sight of a tear slipping past her cheek. Unsure of what to say she mumbled incoherently and stood up from her chair abruptly wasting no time in exiting the establishment. 

Following close behind her I caught sight of Donovans questioning gaze only to mouth, "I'll be back." Rushing outside feeling the panic sink in at the fact she left I felt relieved when I saw her leaning against the wall sniffling lightly. "Marcie..." I called her name gently to avoid startling her and when her head lifted up it was only natural to feel concerned. One second she was laughing, face beaming with life and the next she looked remorseful. 

Though I wasn't particularly sure why, a part of me began drawing a connection between her and that song still playing. The pain emanating in her eyes was a harsh reminder of the unfortunate reality of this life we live. In as much as there is joy there is pain and hardship. 

Moving forward I roped my arms gently around her afraid she'd shatter in my arms if too much pressure was exerted and the other sounds and smells radiating from the world blurred away under that night sky. Shushing her, she hiccupped a couple of times reciprocating my gesture by wrapping her arms around me and I secretly hoped from it she'd receive the much needed comfort she needed and that she'd know I was here if she needed anything.

"I-I thought I was doing good... this shit will never stop h-hurting," she choked back another sob burying her face against my sweater. My heart withered hearing the despair in her voice and the need to console her became my only objective, "Hey, hey everything is going to b -"

"Please don't tell me it's going to be okay. Everyone keeps saying that but I know it won't," she groaned pulling back to lean against the wall giving me a full view of her face contorted in frustration. Running her hands through her hair she blew out a harsh breath wrapping her arms around herself in a way that made it seem like she was shielding herself from some unseen evil. "I won't..." I quickly replied, "in fact I won't say anything else about this if you don't want me to," I said softly but it wasn't easy not saying it because I wanted my words to diminish the negative voice that exists inside our heads, it's the same one that often makes one hesitate to take chances and makes us settle sometimes for good enough.

Unsatisfied with going back inside with her so visibly upset I decided if I couldn't say it then let me at least do all I could to stop her from thinking too much about allowing herself to be pulled in a hole filled with a perpetual darkness. "Let's get out of here, I don't know about you but I have a real serious craving to watch a corny movie that's secretly a guilty pleasure."

After a few minutes passed of the offer hanging in the air she shook her head furiously reaching up to wipe her red nose lightly whilst pushing herself off the wall which I took as a good sign, "Throw in some ice-cream and we have a deal." Pulling her in I threw an arm over her shoulder though I was smiling, internally I kept asking myself what happened in her past. And hoped the wound inside her would be healed.

If not now then at least some point in the future.