Chapter 132 — Endless cycle.

I still remember when my mother said those exact same words to me.

Mom said I have cancer with a serene smile on her lips and a calm expression that didn’t match at all the seriousness of her illness. Her bright eyes carried no sadness in them, unlike mine, which were blurry by the tears I cried for both of us.

I was scared, but I believed that the chemotherapy and treatments could save Mom, but she became weaker and weaker. Her hair fell out at the slightest caress I made, and visits to the hospital became more frequent, as did her stay. Long nights and days in that white room, months facing absurd pain, but always with a smile on her face — this was Elisa, my mother, my light.

So I started smoking cigarettes, looking for nicotine to calm me down. My nerves were always on the edge, and I got into arguments easily, fighting and pushing everyone away because of my destructive behavior... because I wasn’t able to deal with the pain inside me, with my